The light of the console shines on Doctor's face. Sleeves of her coat are rolled up, her face is smudged and her hair all messy underneath the goggles. She's trying to repair a part of Tarids to get her and Yaz off the planet where they got stuck for now several days. She doesn't mind being stuck with Yaz at all she's just worried about Tardis. At some point they need to move before the winter starts or they will be stuck in ice for several months.

"Come on please give me this"

She tries to flip a switch but her face drops.

"You just decided to be stubborn."

Doctor gives up and sits on a floor resting her arms on her knees.

"I give up on you today"

"You two arguing again?" Yaz smiles from the top of the stairs

"You look cute" Doctor looks up

"It's the one you got me for Christmas" she stands in the middle of the platform showing off her fluffy white pyjamas with Rudolf embroidered on a front.

"I know...just never seen you wearing it before...I do have a good memory you know" Doctor makes her proud face

Yaz dismisses her comment. As usual Doctor didn't get the point. She knew for fact she remembered, but was trying to make a point it was preciousto her. She stepped down from the platform and sat next to her.

"What's bothering you?" she looked at her sideways

"Oh just trying to repair this circuit it's been bothering me for months now..."

Doctor went into a long explanation but her words are just noise inside Yaz's head. The side view of Doctor smeared with engine oil, blonde locks all messy and her steampunk goggles on her forehead is making Yaz dizzy.

"Yaz...Yaz are you even listening to me?" Doctors voice comes somewhere from the distance and Yaz snaps out of it

"Ha? Oh sorry" she relased she had the most gormless expression when Doctor turned around to look at her and she now got seriously embarrassed

"Where did you drift off?"

"Sorry I'm just tiered. What where you saying?"

"That it looks like we will be stuck here for a while" Doctor repeats

"Oh, I see...ok"

"Ok? How can that be ok Yaz? Have you not listened to anything I just said?" she gets up and starts pacing "Iff I don't repair Tardis we will be stuck...in ice...for 3 months you know"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Are you feeling ok? Oh no? Did you eat that thing from the fridge?"

"What thing from the fridge? Nooo"

Yaz gets worried for a short minute. Doctor leaves all kinds of things lying around and never explains what it is, but she usually just eats what Tardi prepares

"Never mind just don't eat that jelly"

"Doctor...Don't you just want a brake sometimes? Like to stand still just for a while? And you kept promising me vacation since Flux"

"I thought you loved all the places I'm taking you to, and everything we are doing together? Don't you?" Doctors face drops in disappointment

"I do I do" she gets up and walks over to her "But I don't care where I am as long as it is with you. And I really want a holiday. You've been promising me forever" she reaches for Doctors hand. Something she's never done before and grabs hold of her index finger "Pleeeease"

Doctor ould feel herself slowly being reduced to mush. One think she cannot help herself is Yaz. She stood for moment thinking, lips pursued and looking into one dot not even releasing she's drifting away.

By this point  Yaz was starting to get worried she pushed this too far and insulted her, but a moment later Doctor snapped out of her thoughts and flashed a massive smile on her face "Alright then! I suppose three months isn't such a bad thing after all, and I do like snow. Did I tell you when I went climbing Mount Everest? It was I think in 1906 not really sure.."

Yaz cuts her short slinging herself into her arms and hugging her tight

"I didn't think you'd be so happy about being stuck in ice and snow for 3 months" Doctor chuckles

They pull apart and their eyes meet for a short moment but Doctor brakes it soon after turning away towards the Console.

"So, how about I teach you Gallifrein whilst were stuck?...I mean you need to know it iff you want to fly her"

"That would be awesome" Yaz smiles and sits back on the stairs

"Doctor...Do you miss it?"

"Miss what Yaz? Can you pass me that thing on a floor please"

She asks Yaz whilst crawling on a floor under the console with her bottom up in the air looking quite silly it makes Yaz smile

"Sure" she gets up and passes her the part of machinery and then continues "Your home, Gallifrey? Do you miss it?"

"No, not really. Well...in a way now I do
when it's no longer there. But I never did before...Not a very happy place for me"

"What? Like ever?" Yaz continues "What about your friends? Surely you had friends?"

"Of course I had friends. But I never fitted in...Too many rules...Never liked rules"

She makes one final adjustment and gets up

"There, all done for today" she sits next to Yaz on a step

"Gallifrey is very...well...stiff...and I don't do stiff Yaz. Never have done never will do. Besides, I get to see things and do stuff I would never be able to iff I stayed"

"Are you happy? Like really happy? Don't you get lonely?"

Yaz looked at her with almost pity in her eyes, remembering that day in Sheffield when the Doctor wouldn't get back into her little blue box by herself and was so happy to be invited for a tea. It was at that moment Yaz saw all the loneliness in her eyes, a feeling she could easily relate to herself.

"Sometimes...But now I have you!!" she nudges her with her shoulder

Suddenly panic sets inside of Doctors chest. Her mind is racing as to why is Yaz asking all those questions

"You don't plan to leave do you?" She looks at her worried

"Nooooo silly...Absolutely not...You'll have to kick me of the Tardis" Yaz looks at her confused "What made you ever think that?"

"Oh, I don't know...eventually everyone leaves" Doctor looks at the floor with sadness in her face

"Well not this girl...She's staying. So don't worry" she tapped her leg "You know you are such enigma"

"What? she chuckled "What makes you say that Yaz"

"Well I've known you for all this time and jet I bearly know you"

"What do you mean?...You know me more then most people I have you know" she jumps almost offended by Yaz's statement

"I know you...but I don't really know you...like your past. You never talk about your past" Yaz objects desperately trying to get her to open up

"Ok...well what do you want to know?"

"Well for starters, how old are you really? In almost ten years I've spent next to you I never asked you that"

"I think 3000 years but I'm not really sure to be honest I stopped counting. And that doesn't include all the stuff I don't know"

"Whaaaat? You're joking? Right?" Yaz's face dropped her eyes open wide. She was expecting 200 or 300 but the number just left her speechless trying to compare it to human history Doctor was as old as Rome and that information left her utterly shattered frm inside.

Doctor laughs "Nooo not a joke Yaz. I really don't know. I lost track of it a long time"

Yaz suddenly went quite. She got lost deep into her thoughts thinking how insignificant she must feel to Doctor who was so old. How her presence in Doctors life must be so small that Doctor will probably lose a memory of her at some point in time. Suddenly she felt so small so utterly meaningless. Her face changed expression and she is trying so desperately to hold of her tears. She stood up

"I'm going to bed..I'm tired and you probably have a lot of work to do"

"No not really...Are you Alright? Did I say something to upset you?"

"No... I'm fine...just tired that's all. Night Doctor" she turns away and walks out leaving Doctor completely confused

She went to her room and just threw herself on the bed crying into the pillow. All the emotions that completely overwhelmed her. She suddenly felt that she wanted to go home, back to Sheffield, back amongst people, humans, those that at least love her and whose lives are at least going to be influenced by her in some way...She felt so stupid, stupid for allowing herself to fall in love to get so carried away with everything.
Knocking on her bedroom door snapped her out of it. She knows it's Doctor because nobody else is on Tardis. She quickly wipes her tears

"Yaz!" Doctor says quietly from the outside

"Yes" she answers with a shaking voice

"Can I come in please?"

Yaz swallowed her tears and took a deep breath

"Please" Doctor repeats

"Yes ofcourse" she bearly managed to answer

She walked in slowly shutting a door behind her. Yaz was sitting on her bed trying not to show that just two minutes ago she was soking her pillow with tears. But little does she understand that her swollen eyes and blotchy face is telling a different story to a 3000 year old alien who knows exactly what was going on before she walked into her room.

"Yaz...What did I say that got you so upset?" she asks with worried look on her face

"Nothing...I'm not upset Doctor honest" she looks up at the Doctor trying to smile but Doctor made a bit of sour face and sat next to her

"Have I mentioned that I'm telepathic as well" she looked  at her cheeky trying to cheer her up

"Whaa?" Yaz looks at her in pure horror wondering if Doctor could read her mind all this time since she's known her

"Aha..got ya!!...Relax...I am but not in a way you think I am...Your secrets are safe from me...aldhow I would really like to know what made you cry...Because I know you where crying...and not because I can read your mind but because your eyes look like saucers"

Yaz just continues sitting on a bed turning her look to the floor and fiddling with a tissue she still had in her hand that was a dead giveaway but she didn't even notice

"You know Yaz...I hardly ever sleep...I do but very little...Oh and did I mentioned I was really patient...like reaaaally patient...Once I waited 26 years to meet up with an old friend I lost"

Yaz gets up frustrated "Alright, alright I get it. You won't move till I tell you!!!"

"Aha, she got it!!!" Doctor jumps and points a finger at her grinning

"It's just what you said. It just made me think that's all" she still looked at the floor saying it

"What I said? What did I say?" she looked at her confused mouth half parted trying to remember the whole conversation

"Forget it...it doesn't matter"

"It matters if you're crying about it!. I thought we had a nice chat and you just stormed off" Doctor gets up from the bed

"What you said ..you know how old you are and it just makes sense now...Everything what you said, about not being able to fix yourself"

"What? What does that have to do with how old I am. You really lost me Yaz and I don't get lost easily"

"For you we are all passing think, things, people you forget. Like not even knowing how old you are. Of course you wouldn't like 3000 years... I can't even wrap my head around it" her voice was shaking and tears staring flowing down her face without her even realising "People just pass through your life living and dying, loving and hurting and you...well you probably don't even remember them anymore" she looked at her with pure desperation "Do you even know how many people passed through your life? You don't, do you? And me?...It just hit me that I'm just passing insignificant small piece of your life, someone you will just forget that even existed"

"Yaz noo!! Where is this coming from? That's not true"

The Doctor found herself completely horrified by her words. Realizing that she clearly wasn't clear. It was her typical avoidance of discussions that led to this moment that suddenly made her feel sick. But Yaz continued to pour out all the sadness that had accumulated in her over the years

"That's why, isn't it?...It's why you don't want to be with me? It all makes sense now...those things you've said about not fixing yourself...how could you...when for you I'm just a a second in your long life...blip...nothing...like leaf that passes on the side if the road and for a moment you think how beautiful it is but in ten years time you have no memory of that leaf anymore...it was just a second of your life"

"Yaz stop that!!!" she raised her voice "At least let me explain please" the Doctor walked over to her trying to reach for her hand to calm her down but for the first time Yaz just pulled it away and stepped back leaving her standing in the middle of the room lost in the moment

"How could I be so stupid so naïve. Why did I ever allow myself to fall for you....What was I thinking, what ever made me think that immortal being like you would ever be even remotely considering...I am so stupid I have no words for it...ten years...ten years of my life...and for what?" she's crying her eyes out looking at Doctor in complete despair "Please just repair the Tardis and take me home"

Those words were too much for the Doctor... She just stood in the middle of Yaz's room and stared at the floor. She felt as if the whole world was collapsing beneath her feet, that her worst fears had suddenly become reality and dragged her into the abyss. She looked up at Yaz who was still babbling. She closed her eyes for a moment...just a moment to make that decision...it didn't take long...she made up her mind a long time ago...no doubt in mind not even a slightest tiny doubt and with one breath she launched across the room wrapping fingers around Yaz's face and pressing her lips against hers to smother all the painful words coming out of her mouth. She pushed her so hard her back hit the wall thinking for a moment Yaz will push her away and she'll get slapped across the face for this. But Yaz slumped in her arms and whimpered into her mouth. She pulled apart a little tears rolling down her face shaking.

"Why?" she asked looking into her eyes clenching her coat in her fists "Why now?"

"Cause...I can't....I can't lose you" she brushed her thumb over her face "I can't...cause if I do I..."

Yaz razed her hand to the nape of neck and pulled her in. Doctor kissed her so deep and passionate she was driving air out of her lounges, it was utterly desperate, exhausting any other means to make her understand as to how much she loved her. She ran he fingers across her face wiping her tears aways wanting to obliterate them as iff they never existed. She pressed her whole weight on to her pinning her to the waĺl and sliding her hand around her waist. 

Yaz's mind went blank, tears still running down her face. A part of her wanting to escape her grip...wanting to just run away back to Sheffield, back to her old life, forgetting past few years and all the pain, anxiety and anticipation, and yet there she was, in Doctors arms, pined against the wall of her bedroom kissing her like tomorrow doesn't exist and running her fingers through her golden hair. She felt weaker than ever, her legs loosing a grip and the only thing holding her up was Doctors hand around her waist.

Doctor parted just a bit resting her head against Yaz's cradling her face between her fingers gently. That silly little goof was gone and in it's place stood a woman with so much passion in her eyes. She was breathing deep, her hearts beating hard. Yaz went floppy in her arms holding the back of Doctors neck with one hand and sleeve of her coat with another. She had her eyes closed feeling Doctors breath on her face, smelling the sweetness of her skin.

"I don't forget Yaz...I never forget...And you I couldn't forget even iff I desperately wanted to...Don't you understand?"

She spoke quietly, almost whispering, brushing her cheek with her thumb and lifting her head to meet her eyes

"That's what I'm afraid of...never being able to forget you..for yers...centuries...millennia. That's what I was saying on that beach"

Yaz's beautiful swollen brown eyes where gazing back at her like she is her whole universe. Nobody ever looked at her like that, like stripping layers of her soul bare.

"I love you Yaz...I love you like I never loved anyone before"

"I love you too...I always have...oh god" she choked on her tears, trying so hard to look into her eyes that have never been so close to her.

"It's ok Yaz...I want this...I wanted to tell you. It's why I brought us here...But then this happened" she brushed her finger across her face amd Yaz closed her eyes again letting tears runs down her face pressing her lips on Doctor's letting herself be taken away to whatever this may be. Not caring anymore about anything just giving herself away to this universe.
Yaz grabbed Doctors coat and pulled it of her shoulders letting it slip to the floor.

"Yaz..." Doctor cupped her face and razed her gaze to meet her eyes

"Don't you do this half way now...don't you dare after what you put me through" she said shaking grabbing onto her braces "please stop torturing me" she said gazing at her eyes that were inches away

She took a little strain if hair and moved it away from Yaz's forehead, her eyes wondering between her lips and her eyes her hand still wrapped around her waist now not so tightly anymore then wrapped her fingers around her neck and kissed her again. This time less desperate just gently, deepening the kiss with each second until Yaz felt herself getting lost in it completely.

Doctor's hands exploring every inch of her body slowly stripping her of her clothes trailing lips down her stomach slumping  to the floor. She reached for the button of ther trousers, hooded eyes looking up and Yaz nodded tangling her fingers through her hair. She pulled them down making Yaz giggle how tight they were she almost lost balance. There she was her Doctor kneeling in front of her gliding fingers down her sides, her hot breathe hitting her skin. She hooked her fingers into the edges of her underwear and looked up again.

"It's ok...I really want this" Yaz smiled and stroke her face, she felt her legs shaking as she pulled the last piece of her clothes and she was left bare to her eyes.

Doctor placed a small kiss on her stomach making her twitch then got up on her feet again wrapping her hand around her face "You're beautiful" she smiled and saw Yaz was breathing so deeply her fear was palpable. She wanted  to say something  back but words got stuck in her throat. Doctor reached for her hand lacing their fingers together and brining them to her lips then pulled her in for another kiss. Her fingers trailing down her bare back making Yaz shiver as her lips traveled down her neck and her collar bone and fingers brushed over her breast gently. She tilted her head back closing her eyes a shallow moan escaping her lips with her fingers combing her blonde locks. She couldn't think any more. Her heart felt like it will pop out of her chest and legs shaking, she felt so wobbly she kept grabbing for any part of the Doctor not to fall on floor.

Doctor shook her boots off and pulled Yaz for another kiss wrapping her arms around her and rocking her across the room until  her knees hit the edge of a bed. She laid down and Doctor followed, hovering above her kissing her gently as Yaz wrapped her legs around her and her fingers gently stroking her back. She was shaking underneath her and heart pounding like a drum.

"You're so beautiful" Doctor whispers kissing the tip of her nose 

"Why did you stop?" she said moving her hair from her face with a shaky hand and tucking it behind her ears still trying to ketch her breath

"Cause you're scared"

"No I'm not!!" Yaz objected 

Doctor smiled softly "You're cute...too cute...you're giving me a head wonk" she kisses her nose again

"Is that bad?"

"Mmm" Doctor makes a cheeky face "No...I like this head wonk"

"You're still dressed"

"There'll be time for that"

"Kiss me"

Doctor kisses the top of her nose again

"Noo..kiss me properly"

"Where?"

"My lips"

"Only your lips?"

"And everywhere else please"

She played with her hair looking into her beautiful hazel eyes. Suddenly there was different women hovering above her, calm and passionate, gentle and soft like a breeze. She brought her hand at the back of Doctors neck, gently stroking it with her fingers wrapping her legs tightly around her pulling her in for another kiss. 

Doctor kissed her for the longest time cuddling her gently until she melted in her arms. She slowly traced her hand down the curve of Yaz's waist kissing her soft breast, trailing her fingers downthe length of her, exploring every inch of her soft silky skin. She reached for her hand pressing her wrist gently on the pillow, her lips traling down her neck and tips of her fingers brushing between her thighs, up her stomach and back down again. Yaz's back arched in response and a quiet moan left her lips making Doctor smile. She dotted  her lips down her body down to her stomach following every curve. Then hot breathe hit her thighs and Yaz stilled, her fingers tightened in her hair as soft lips pressed against her. She exhaled with a quiet moan as Doctor swiftly draped her legs over her shoulders, her hand settled on her stomach and Yaz's hips bucket, her eyes rolled at the back of her head as Doctor sealed herself against her. Her brain trying to catch up with every sensation, her fingers sifting through the soft hair as she curved and bent to each touch. 

And before Yaz could take another breath the long digits swept through her and she gasped breathlessly as they suddenly becamea part of her. Slow and gentle and then more passionate with each breathe. Her other hand scooped blone curls and her heels dug into Doctors shoulders, toes curling as she rocked her hips agains her. 

Doctor moaned into her, fingers tightened on her thigh, she took Yaz like she kissed her lips, with same desire and determination sealing herself to her, pulling her closer hungry. 

Yaz melted into her completely grabbing sheets with hands and lifting her hips from bed, feeling her whole body shaking and her cheeks burning form the heat rising inside. She never imagined feeling this way. Wanting to be a part of someone so much that it almost hurt inside. She exhaled, her eyes slammed shut as her body went rigid and he muscles tightened, the waive of tingles swept through her, her fist grabbing sheets

"Doctor.. I can't...I.." she barely managed to talk desperately grabbing the headboard of her bed almost trying to move away from Doctors grip

She felt like she will explode but instead of letting her go Doctor grabbed her leg pulling her closer and holding her tightly not letting her move. Yaz exhaled, her eyes slammed shut as her body went rigid. She grabbed Doctors wrist holding herself as her whole body shook and she just flopped on the bed utterly spent.

Doctor finally released her grip leaning over to kiss her lips but her Yaz was not there. She held Doctors hand still trembling, her chest heaving and slumped one arm lazily over her shoulder. 

"I....mmm" she mumbled making the Doctor chuckle. She kissed the tip of her nose leyed next to her stroking her hair that was spread all over the pillow

"I love you to stars and back, you know that? I hope you do" Doctor whispered in her ear

Yaz rolled over and tucked herself in her arms hid her face into her neck. She felt her legs shaking, her heart beating more than ever. She tried saying something but just muttered incoherently dropping sloppy kiss to her neck. It made Doctor laugh.

"I think you need to sleep"

Doctor bearly managed to reach the duvet trying not to move her. She held her in her arms like that for hours thinking how she never wants to let her go. She could feel her breath on her neck breathing slowly and every once in a while she would snuggle even more closely. It made the Doctor melt inside. She kept stroking her gently all night and kissing her head all the time until even Doctor felt tiered and fell asleep.