Yaz was putting the last things in the suitcases and started laughing when she saw the amount of stuff they managed to pack as if they were relocating to Yorkshire. There were six suitcases and bags lined up in the corner of the room. She glanced at her outfit hanging on the wardrobe door and she ran her hand over it smiling. It felt so strange to be looking at her wedding outfit. It also felt as though her life suddenly sped up over night. They only met in July and managed to pack up the wedding and buying the house all in two months of their lives. She wasn't sure if this was beautiful or totally mad, but she didn't care. They were both so bashed from hurt and disappointment it felt like a breath of fresh air to finally breathe and be truly happy so much so she would feel anxiety and fear of it being taken away from her. Alex was her whole world ever since she met her. The only person who truly loved her with all her heart the way she always dreamed about being loved.

"Can I see you?" Alex smiled from the bedroom door

"Hey...how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough" she smiled and walked behind her "You alright?" she moved her locks from her shoulders scooping her hair at her back and kissed her shoulder gently wrapping her arms around her

"Mmmm...It doesn't seem real Alex...any of it"

"I know...I'm getting a whiplash sometimes myself" she giggled resting her head on her shoulder

"I don't mind it...I love it. The only whiplash I knew before you was being cheated on and dumped...It just scares me sometimes because it seems too good to be true. And I'm so freaked out from loosing it all"

"Mmmmm..." Alex tucked her face into the side of her neck "I know the feeling" she said kissing her neck "...but not this time...We're growing old together you and me" she rocked her side to side"

"God" she exhaled leaning on her "You know how it feels...like this weight I was carrying for years is getting lifted off my shoulders...I can finally see some light. It's only now I'm starting to realize just how depressed I was" she laced her fingers with hers wrapping her arms around herself "I was just trying to breathe and it feels so light now...I feel light baby" she turned in her arms and tears rolled down her face as she exhaled "I really fucking love you" she said with a wobbly chin

"OMG Yazee don't cry baby" Alex brushed her hands over her face wiping her tears and cupped her face dotting kisses all over her "I adore you my beautiful Yazee"

Yaz fell into her arms clenching for her like her life depended on it. It was as if all the pain was leaving her body being replaced by Alex filling her soul and she wanted to drown in it.

Alex held her tightly and tangled her fingers in her hair, caressing her gently. Behind all that chirping, happy, sassy exterior, she knew that Yaz was just as broken as she was, just in a different way, and that a few months of happiness wasn't enough to heal all the wounds they both had. But it was the beginning and that was enough for now. She knew all too well what it's like to wake up every morning with the feeling that this person you absolutely adore is wrapped around you and you don't know if it's just a dream. The feeling of absolute dread that you will ever lose them because you know you would suffocate in your pain and stop breathing. They were each other's lifeline in more ways than one and they only scratched the surface of what truly means to be loved.

"I'm sorry" Yaz looked up wiping her face

"Sorry for what?" Alex moved the small curls from her forehead as her eyes looked all over her face with a subtle smile "I love you so much and guess what"

"What?" Yaz smiled little

Alex suddenly grabbed her lifting her up making her giggle and she wrapped her legs around her and arms around her shoulders "OMFG ....don't you drop me" she started laughing as Alex tumbled them both on a bed

"You're mine" she grinned haply "Properly mine when I marry you...You're gonna belong to me till the day we pop our clogs" she smiled as Yaz locked her with her legs

"That's all I want" she said tucking her hair behind her ears "All I want is you...I don't need anything more...My silly beautiful Alex" she rested her palm on her cheek and Alex turned kissing it then fell silent gazing at her for a long moment before she closed her eyes and captured her lips gently, slowly and ran her hand over the curve of her waist slipping fingers underneath Yaz's top, trailing the curve of her soft breast with the finger as she kissed her deeper and more passionate.

Her lips followed the outline of Yaz˙s jaw and slipped down her neck making her eyes roll at the back of her head, making her want her so much by this point it hurt inside, and she ran her fingers over Alex's shoulders grabbing the handful of the fabric and pulled a t-shirt over her head tossing it on a floor then returned hands back to the bare soft skin of her neck and shoulders as Alex's lips circled her breast. She ached herself to her with a guttural moan and wrapping leg around her side melting away underneath her. Alex's slipped her top off in one swift move and flashed her a cheeky smile moving her own hair from her face as she hovered above her making room for herself between her legs.

"Smooth" Yaz smiled and tugged on her underwear "Take that off...I wanna feel you proper"

Alex giggled and scrambled across the bed shedding the last piece of her clothing then hooked her fingers into Yaz's bottoms tugging them down leaving her bare to her eyes. She brushed her palm the length of her as she climbed her body caging her, hovering above her as her hair framed her face and placed a small kiss to the tip of her nose rocking her hips side to side playfully

"C'mere sexy" Yaz giggled and palmed her face pulling her in for one more kiss and locked her legs around her.

Alex pinned her wrists to the pillow brushing her thumbs over them kissing her hungry and dragging herself over her. It made Yaz's toes curl and she squirmed underneath her impatiently wrapping herself around her, inhaling her smell and feeling the taste of her in her mouth, her bare skin on her own, her stomach breathing against hers and their hearts beating as one as Alex's weight pressed her into the mattress.
Alex kissed her so deep and passionate she was losing her breath. She let go one of her hands to wrap her fingers around the side of her neck then the same hand brushed over the line of her waist and curve of her hip rolling  her to her side then slipped between them. Yaz whimpered into her lips as she stroke her gently.

"Inside" she whispered into her lips stroking her cheek and kissed her open mouth “Please baby”

Alex smiled and took her bottom lip between her teeth playfully then kissed hard trailing her lips over her cheek as Yaz moaned quietly into her ear, her breath leaving her when she felt her inside. She rocked her slow and gentle and stilled watching her eyelashes flatter and her lips part. She watched her expressions as she moved inside her feeling her hot, soft, and gentle wrapped around her rolling herself over her and dug her heals into her sides tugging on Alex hair as her fingers combed through her golden lock's. She could watch her forever like this holding her in her arms as her cheeks blushed and she was drifting away giving every part of herself to her so unconditionally, so fragile and vulnerable in her arms.

"Don't stop" she said breathless "Don't..." she exhaled as her body twitched and she clenched around her.

Alex kissed her open lips with smile and rolled her on her back. Yaz fell into the sheets her hand lazily running over Alex's back as she descended down her body kissing her hot stomach grinning haply.

"What are you..." she looked down and grabbed her shoulder "Fuck" she put her hand over her mouth as Alex pressed her lips at her "OMFG" she squirmed over the bed as Alex gripped her thighs and sealed herself on her. Her eyes rolled and she gasped for air, her stomach churned and her whole body tingling, her lifeless legs draped over Alex’s shoulders as she sank into the sheets. It felt was almost too much, too unbearable as her skin felt like it was on fire and her body like jelly giving in to every sensation.

She laced her fingers with hers on her sides and sank back onto the sheets clamping her legs around her as her back arched and she slumped into the bed utterly spent. She couldn't move a muscle as Alex climbed back up and kissed her. Yaz smiled with eyes closed and draped her arm around her shoulder lazily.

Alex giggled at the state of her and pulled the duvet over them kissing her bare shoulder then laid next her with a silly smile.

"Who are you...and what did you do to my Alex?" Yaz smiled silly 

"Was it nice?" She asked chirpy draping her arm around her underneath the covers

"Have you been taking some classes I don't know about?" She giggled

"Yeah I learned from the best" Alex laughed and leaned over kissing her playfully

"C'mere" she lifted the duvet and opened her arms

Alex chuckled wrapping herself around her and kissing her one more time then rested her head on her chest

"I love you so much" Yaz hummed trailing her fingertips over her back

"Love you too...Feeling better?"

"Yeaaaah..." she kissed the top of her head "Much better...I think it just all poured out of me...It just hit me all of it when I looked at that outfit"

Alex placed a long kiss on side of her breast then lied down again "I'm never leaving you...ever...you'd have to scrape me off with a knife"

"Good..." she smiled "Don't you dare"

"Nope...You're stuck with me now" she squeezed her

"Then we have no problem" she giggled "My fucking legs are still shaking you nutter it feels like my jaja is on fire"

"Aaaaaaaa..." Alex laughed like crazy into her chest "

"It's been overused"

Alex couldn't breathe from laughing. She covered her face with hand "I'm soooory...I don't know what came over me"

"You went from zero to horny as fuck"

"OMG!"  she screamed

"Are you overdosing on your hormones?"

"Nooooo..." she laughed and kissed her "Does it hurt?"

"No but I'll be walking like John Wayne tomorrow...no tight jeans for me...she needs to breathe"

"You're crazy" Alex screamed

"It's ok I'll sit on ice pack till we get to your mum"

Alex screamed and covered her mouth with her hand "I'm never doing this again"

"Oh you fucking are...totally worth the ice pack"

"I can have a look at it...give you something"

"Oh so now we're gonna play a doctor as well"

"Nooooo....that's not what I meant.." she laughed

"You looked enough for one day" she laughed rolling her on her side "Silly billy...I love you" she said kissing the tip of her nose

"Mmmm" Alex hummed closing her eyes with a smile "Love you too...I'm so sleepy now"


"Me too...and it's only two in the afternoon...Fuck it, let's have a nap we can finish packing later"

"We need to take cats to your parents" she said with eyes shut as Yaz kissed her forehead

"We will...that's not until six...Dad's cooking us din dins...He's making your favorite"

"I love your family so much" she hummed as she was dozing off "I really wish I had a dad walking me down the aisle" she said falling asleep and Yaz's breath got caught in the back of her throat

"I know beautiful...I wish he knew what he lost" she placed a long kiss to her forehead as Alex tightened her arm around her and fell asleep in her arms

Yaz stayed awake for a while feeling her breathing against her neck. Her soul hurt and she wished with all her heart she could give her that.

.....

They finished packing and prepared all the cats including all their toys and beds. It was a circus as they kept meowing in the back of the car all the way making their brain cells vibrate until they finally reached Park Hill estate. They continued all the way in the elevator as well and down the hallway.

"My god I can't wait to open those transporters" Yaz said as she rang the doorbell

"Heeeey" Sonya opened the door "My bride's are here" Sonya smiled

"Don't feel like a bride now" Yaz said grumpy dumping the transporter in a hallway "My brain is meowing at the moment and I'm ready to cough out a fur ball"

"Hiya" Alex smiled leaning over kissing her cheek "They haven't stopped since we left apartment and I think someone pooped"

"OMG" Sonya laughed "sounds like Prem"

"Don't worry about them Pam will come and stay with them when we leave it's all arranged"

"Oh you're a star...we will give money before we leave"

"She really doesn't mind she had a cat for years but since it died she can't bring herself to get a new one"

"I can understand that" she said opening the doors of the transports and cats just zoomed out

"Alright hold your horses I'm opening" Yaz opened the door and the last cat ran out "Arh shit"

"What?" Alex said

"Shit" Yaz pointed to the box

"Told ya I can smell it in a car" Alex shrugged

They chatted away waiting for food. Alex got deep into the conversation with Sonya and played with Prem on a sofa. Nadjia was setting the table and Yaz used her chance to speak to her dad.

"Dad" Yaz leaned over to him in a kitchen

"Yes pumpkin" he said wiping his hands into the cloth

"Can I talk to you in private"

He frowned confused glancing at her "Sure"

"Come to bedroom" she nodded and walked off

He followed her shortly after and closed the bedroom door behind him confused and worried "Is everything alright Yaz?"

"Yes absolutely don't worry...I have a favour to ask"

"What honey?"

"You know when we spoke about the wedding?" she put her hands in her pockets and started pacing around the room "...and I told you and mum how Alex and me are gonna walk over together to the aisle cause we're like both women and it kinda felt stupid for one of us to just stand there"

"Yeah"

"Can we change that plan?" she frowned

"Alright...what would you like pumpkin?"

"It's not actually about what I would like it's about Alex dad...She really, really wishes to have a dad walk her down the aisle and her dad is..."

"Unless bag of shit" Hakim added

"Yeaaaah...would you maybe...possibly...."

"It would be my honor Yaz....if you're ok with that?"

"OMFG" she launched towards her dad throwing herself at him "You're the best dad in a whole universe" she said through tears

"It's ok Yaz...as long as that makes you happy"

"I know you wanted to walk me and I'm so sorry...but Alex needs this so much...I have you in so many other ways and I always will...and walking her will be for me as if you're walking us both"

"You make me proud every day pumpkin" he stroke her face with his finger

"I love you so much...thank you"

"I love you too" he pulled her in and hugged her tight

"Don't tell her anything I want it to be a surprise we're gonna arrange it with Charlie when we're all there"

"Ok...no worries my lips are sealed....I have to go back the food will burn"

"Go go"

He left the room and Yaz exhaled smiling. She wiped her face and went to the toilet to freshen up.

....

They were halfway to Yorkshire. Yaz fell asleep in a car. Alex's eyes were popping out by this point as she was desperate to pee. She finally pulled into a petrol station and turned to Yaz.

"Yazee...baby"

"Mmmm...are we there?" she opened her eyes sleepy

"Noo...but I will literally explode...I don't think my bladder can stretch any more than it already has."

"OMG....go go leave the keys I'll meet you inside"

"Thaaaank you" she said grabbing her bag and ran out of the car

Yaz got out and stretched. She got stiff from curling up in a seat. She walked inside and went straight for the coffee as the smell of it filled the air and she already started drooling over it. She grabbed coffees and some sandwiches for both of them and sat at the small table. It was close to eleven and a beautiful sunny day. She was hoping the nice weather will hold on till their wedding as the tent wasn't something she was so happy about.

"OMG I'm in so much pain now" Alex sat at the table holding her tummy

"Fuck...are you alright?"

"Noo...this wasn't healthy...I'll be fine"

"How long have you been holding it?"

"About an hour"

"OMG..."

"I missed one petrol station...and then it just became agony form that point onwards"

"Oh baby...here...I got you a sandwich and a coffee"

"Thank youuuu...I'm starving"

"You didn't eat in the morning I'm surprised you're not shaking"

"I woke up with dodgy stomach....I think I just ate way too much at your parents yesterday"

"You did waist through those cakes"

"I can't help it...they are addictive"

"No shit...dad packed the whole tray for you" Yaz giggled

"Those are samples for the wedding" she said smug

"Well you're definitely testing them babe"

"I knooow" Alex laughed "I'm not gonna fit into my dress"

"It's ok I'll pin it at the back babe"

"How charming"

"Oh shit" Yaz smacked her palm on her forehead

"What?"

"You know what we forgot?"

"Oh god...noooo...what did we forget?"

"I forgot my hair piece" she frowned "....I just fucking remembered I left it on a bar"

"No you haven't" Alex smiled and opened her bag pulling it out

"OMG!!!" Yaz slumped on the table

"I forgot to tell you I literally saw it just before I locked up the apartment"

"Thaaaaaaank youuuuuuu"

"Even if you have Yazee your mum has the keys"

"Oh...so she does"

"Talking about that remember tomorrow we have hair and make-up trial"

"Oh yeah"

"I still have no clue what to do with my hair Yaz"

"I'd love it to be curly because it goes with your dress...it's romantic...and maybe some flowers in your hair...the same once we use for the wedding"

"Waaaaw....that could look really beautiful"

"Aha" she nodded smiling "The florist can make it for you as long as you bring the hair pin from the hairdressers"

"Really?"

"Yeah they make it for you out of real flowers and they can look stunning"

"Will you go with me?"

"Of course I'll go with you silly"

"Goodie" she wiggled in her seat happily

.....

Alex entered her mum's street and Yaz could see her face suddenly shining from excitement as massive smile spread across her face and she started beeping as she pulled up the driveway.
Charlie came out of the house wearing apron and wiping her hands into a kitchen cloth

"We're here Yazee!"

Alex parked the car and ran out grabbing her mum and swinging her around.

"Hey baby" Charlie giggled as she put her down on a ground and kissed her so hard her cheek was aching

"Arrrrhhh missed you so much"

"How are you baby" she stroke her face "Happy?"

"Crazy happy" Alex smiled and kissed and took her mum's hand kissing her knuckles

"Hey Charlie!"

"Hey honey" she opened her arms and Yaz hugged her tight "You look so lovely"

"Thanks...a bit tiered from the trip and Alex is knackered. We got up so early"

"Well just in time for the lunch. Leave the stuff in a car you can do that later come on let's get you fed"

Alex draped her arm around Yaz's shoulders with permanent smile on her face "I'm starving"

"Me too...the food smells so yummy"

"Well I rostered the whole chicken for you with some potatoes and carrots and turnips are from my garden"

"Waaaw....see we could have a garden like that"

"Honey I think we would get led poisoning in our garden" Alex kissed her temple

"I didn't think of that...you've got a point"

"I just need to wash my hands mum" Alex went to the kitchen sink

"Goood it's nice to have you here" she came up to her and kissed her cheek

"You have no idea how much I miss you mum...this isn't easy...I just wish I could scoop you all and have you with me"

"Well if you had a normal father honey you would've had to leave. But that basterd will never leave you alone as long as he's breathing"

"I know...I can possibly deal with other people...most of them are really nice"

"He knows about the wedding"

"Whaaat?....Oh shit...How?...Who told him?"

"Nobody Alex...there's like 300 houses here it's not that difficult is it…the whole town knows you're getting married....The whole town knows everything"


"I fucking hate that" she sat at the table

"You don't think he'll make any problems Alex?" Yaz asked worried

"I never know Yazee...he's deranged"

"He got into a fight down the pub the other day...You should see the state of him" Charlie said shaking her head

"Does he work?" Yaz asked

"Yeah down at car repair" Alex said "The only one in town so when something was wrong with my car I had to go to another town"

"For fuck sake" Yaz shook her head "How many people live here?"

"Around 1700 Yazee...not a lot... the whole town is Around 35 km...Very small"

"Here you go girls..." Charlie put the soup on a table and sat down

"Arrrrhhh....nothing like this mum" Alex took Yaz's plate and filled it up

"Eat up...this is all for you...I've made some proper pudding as well and gravy you like"

"You're proper spoiling us" Alex laughed

"So...when do I get to see you two all dressed up and my baby in a wedding dress"

"Noo mum...I want you to see me on a wedding day"

"Alex!"

"Pleaseeee mum"

"Annie saw you"

"It's different with you....pleaseeee mum"

She sighed disappointed "Alright...but this is discrimination" she pointed finger at her

"No it's not" Alex laughed "I just want it to be special for you that's all…to see all of it hair makeup everything"

She shook her head "Oh alright then"

"Tomorrow is hair and make-up right?" Yaz asked

"Yeeees...it's all starting for you now. And they are bringing all the tables on Wednesday slowly setting it up in a garden"

"I'm so exited" Yaz said "I just can't wait to see it all done up"

"I think it's going to look so beautiful I saw the tables and chairs they are beautiful oh and the dishes are gorgeous" Charlie said

"Weeeeee..." Alex squeaked haply

"Alright girls I'm gonna get the chicken"

"Let me help" Yaz got up

"Nooo sit down honey...you're tiered from the trip"

"Alex is...I was sleeping all the way" she laughed and walked over to the kitchen helping her with food

"Your room is all set up...I opened the window so you get some fresh air"

"Thanks mum" Alex came up and kissed her cheek then grabbed the tray "So when will I see everyone?"

"Tomorrow they are all coming for dinner"

"Yeeees! ...And the kids?"

"And all the kids....I'll need you taking me shopping tomorrow after hairdresser"

"Sure no problem...we will help with food mum"

"Noooo...please enjoy yourselves Alex...please"

"Mmmmmmm"

....

They dragged all the suitcases upstairs and Alex started laughing when she opened the door.

"Our sofa!" she jumped "Where's my bed?"

"In a garage...Sorry Alex" Charlie shrugged " It didn't all fit and you wanted sofa, so there you go you have a sofa"

"Oh well...Yazee...we're sleeping on a sofa"

"Fine with me....we hardly use the bed anyway" she laughed

"Alright...I'm leaving you to it" Charlie waived and closed the door

"Mum...oh for god sake" she ran to open the door "muum...I've got fucking food in a car wait" she ran downstairs

"What?"

"Food...cakes Khan's send" she ran outside and opened the booth

"Why are cakes in a car on this heat Alex?"

"Dunno....forgot them....sure they'll be fine"

"Sure they'll be a mash potato by now dopey" she took the tray "OMG they are boiling"

"Sorry.." she scrunched her face "Love ya" she kissed her cheek and ran off

"Don't complain to me when you get salmonella"

"Can't get salmonella from one hour mum" she giggled running up the stairs

"If you say so...when you sit on a toilet don't ask for more paper"

Alex giggled and went back in a room

"Hey.. cakes done" Alex said closing the door "You love those" she smiled as Yaz was again looking at her old photos on a chest of drawers

"Yeah...I love them" she put the photo down and turned around hooking her fingers through Alex jeans pulling her in "It's all my Alex" she pressed her lips at hers and released with a pop

"This is Alex" she pointed to herself "That's just fucked up me"

"I love all of you" she ran her hands down her waist

"Mmmmm...not so sure you'd love that one" she rocked her side to side

"I would...he is still a part of you in some form or you wouldn't be like you are now...He made you in some way"

"There's a logic in that...I never thought of it that way....If I didn't hate him so much there would never be any Alex that you love"

Yaz cupped her face between her palms "I adore you...not just love you"

Alex grabbed her around the waist swinging her around and tipped her on a sofa "And I adore you...so much...We need to get the stuff out...it will all get wrinkled"

"Sure" she wrapped her legs around her "God you shine when you're here...You should see your face"

"Mmmmm" she rubbed her face into her chest "I love it here Yaz...it's always gonna be my home...I do wish we could live here" she lifted her face "But we can't....not as long as he's around"

"I know baby" she tucked her hair behind her ears and dotted small kisses over her face

"Come on...let's unpack...take a shower" she lifted her top and smelled herself "I'm sure I'm stinky"

"You're not" Yaz laughed 

"And let's do something nice...I wanna use the weekend cause you’re gonna work on Monday"

"Deal"

She lifted Yaz's top kissing her stomach and blew air into it making her giggle

"Aaaaa...tickles"

"It was too tempting" she grabbed her hands and pulled her up

....

"Muuum!" Alex yelled running down the stairs

"I'm in a garden"

"Hey...mum" she swung herself from the kitchen doorframe "I'm taking Yaz to town wanna go?"

"Ni honey...I've got Janice coming over for tea. You two go...have a nice time.... oh, can you just get some milk?"

"Sure..." she came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her "Love ya..."

"I love you too" she tapped her arm

"See ya" Alex ran off

....

"Where are you taking me?" Yaz asked as they sat in a car.

"Somewhere really nice"

"And where's that?"

"Surprise..." she smiled and pulled the seat belt "It's a place I used to go to a lot...you're gonna love it"

She drove out of town through the country roads. Yaz looked through the window at all the greenery. Sheffield was beautiful but this place seemed magical. She pulled down the window enjoying in a smell of grass and flowers coming from the fields mixed in with smell of sea carried by the wind.
Alex drove into the farm. She drove over the gravel path leading to the cottage house and parked up in front.

"We're here" she smiled exited

“What are we doing here? Is this someone you know?"

"You will seeeee....so impatient...Come on...I want you to meet someone"

She got out the car and reached for Yaz's hand leading her around the house.

"Wooooow" Yaz's eyes grew wide "Horses!"

"Aha" Alex smiled

"Never seen a real horse Alex"

"Are you kidding?"

"Nooooo" she shook her head exited "Can I go closer?"

"Sure you can" she tugged her hand towards the fence "Hello" Alex smiled as one of the horses approached them and stroke his nose "Remember me?...This is my Yazee" she took Yaz's hand "Here...just gently...they get scared" she put her hand on his nose

"OMFG it's so soft" she looked at her smiling

"Like velvet isn't it?"

"Alex!" a man called her name and she turned

"Connor!" she smiled and ran up to the man

He hugged her tight "Hey gorgeous....look at her" he took her hands "More pretty every day"

"Neah...trying though"

"Is that your girl?" he winked

"Yeah...C'mere...let me introduce you"

"It was about time you brought her...you didn't last time...I know everything you know"

"Sorry..." she frowned "Yazee...meet Connor one of my oldest friends"

"Oh hi...I'm Yaz...nice to meet you"

"Yaz finally she brought you here.... You are gorgeous...I heard" he looked at Alex who smiled proudly

Yaz just giggled

"Yaz just told me she's never seen a horse before" Alex said

"Nooooo....seriously?"

"Neah" she nodded "....never in real life"

"Could you maybeeee...." Alex grabbed his arm "possibly...saddle one for me?" She flipped her lashes at him

"You really need to ask?"

"Yeeees!" she jumped kissing his cheek

"C'mere..." she pulled Yaz's hand

"Where?" she asked, confused.

"You're gonna ride a horse"

"Oh noooooo...no no Alex" she pulled her hand "Are you nuts?"

"Come on...You'll go with me"

"Noooo.." she nodded "She's tiered...we had a long trip" she said to Connor and he just shook his head laughing in response heading towards the stables

Alex dragged her over the gravel and Yaz kept pulling her hand "Alex I'm not joking I'm gonna fall"

"You will not fall...just hold on to me"

"OMFG this is bad idea... really bad idea"

"This is the best idea" she grinned and pulled her starting to run

....

"There" Alex tied a helmet on her head

"I look stupid"

"You look lovely" Alex kissed her quickly than sat on the bench pulling boots on

"No running"

"No running" Alex smiled cheeky and winked at her

"Aleeeex....I'm not even fucking joking"

"I know" she got up and pulled her jeans "right...let's go" she grabbed her hand

"I swear on my ancestors I'll kill you" she shook her head

There was a big horse standing in front of the stables. Bigger than any Yaz had seen so far and Yaz's eyes grew wide. When he moved, she flinched backwards, and Alex just smiled. She thought this was the dumbest idea ever but there was a part of her which was intrigued.

"Alright so hold on to the that and step on my hands and I'm just gonna hop you on it...got it?" Connor said

"Nooo...I'm sorry ...I have no fucking idea what I'm suppose to do" she nodded

"I'll show you" Alex said and got onto a horse with surprising ease giving her some insurance they will not break their necks. Then she got down again "Got it?"

"I think so"

She stepped on Connors hand and tried getting up then Alex just pushed her bum until she practically flew over "OMG...he's moving...he's moving!"

"Don't worry Yazee" Alex got up behind her "See... that was easy?"

"Oh yeah.... like cutting through the butter" she said unsure

"Alright we're off" Alex smiled and took the rein's "just hold on for the saddle you can't fall I'm holding you" she giggled

"Wowowowo" Yaz froze from fear when the horse started moving

"Se ya!" Alex shouted as they were leaving

"Se ya girls have fun"

"OMFG Alex"

"Relax...we go slow"

They came out of the farm and turned onto a narrow path. Yaz relaxed slowly further they got from the farm. She felt the animal breathing underneath her legs, and it felt like nothing she had ever experienced in her life. Amazing and beautiful almost peaceful if she could stop worrying.

"You like it?"

"I think so" she giggled

"Just reax...enjoy the nature"

"This is so out there...I thought we're going for a cake or something"

"This better than any cake" Alex leaned on her shoulder "It's my special date"

"No shit...you definitely beat the cheese date"

Alex laughed and kissed her shoulder

"So tell me about this place and Connor...what's the story?"

"I used to come here when I was a kid...I wanted to learn how to ride but we didn't have money for lessons so Connor said I can work for them and he'll teach me"

"Waaaw"

"Yeah...I used to come twice a week...clean the stables...saddle horses...clean them up anything he needed then every Sunday he'd give me lessons"

"That's so sweet"

"Yeah...this place was my get away...from all the shit at home...it was my sanctuary...Connor knows everything about me...with time I told him everything. He came up one day, found me crying. He was like...What's up boy? You're upsetting the horse" Alex laughed

Yaz chuckled "Why did you cry? How old were you?"

"12...I just had the usual dad jerk shit at home...nothing new it just all piled up that day. But Connor pulled me out and we went for a long walk. He didn't ask anything and I didn't feel like being asked...to be honest I just wanted to be left alone....But he just walked next to me telling me about birds he is watching every day...And I just came out with it...telling him about dad and how I felt inside...It just poured all out of me...I think I just needed to say it more than I thought I did. And he simply turned to me and said how the world would be a boring place if all the birds were the same...that's why nature created so many different once cause each one is beautiful in its own way"

"OMG...you're gonna make cry"

Alex kissed her shoulder "It was the most beautiful thing anyone told me...After that I used to tell him everything...he saw me cry he saw me angry he saw me in a complete mess, but he was always there and this place was always open for me day and night when ever I wanted to come. Sometimes I'd come here sleep with horses...just sit in a stable at night read a book...it made me feel so calm inside when I thought I will explode"

"Oh baby...." Yaz stroke her wrist gently "it was your escapism"

"Yeah..." she sighed deeply "It totally was...and when I was riding I felt so free Yaz...so free...just me and the horse and nature...I do miss this...Hey wanna try something"

"What?..." she asked worried as Alex moved from the pathway to the field "What are you doing?"

"Don't be scared"

"Aleeeeex...what the fuck are you doing"

"Just a little"

"Alex I swear to fucking god..."

"Just Hold on tight"

"OMG!" Yaz grabbed the saddle like her life depended on it and Alex moved the reins into one hand wrapping her arm around her

"I'll kill you" Yaz shouted

"No you won't" she giggled “Don’t bounce just follow me”

"I'll never have sex with you again"

"Yes you will" Alex giggled as the horse sped up. She didn't do it for long or very fast just for a moment so Yaz could feel it without freaking her out completely as she screamed making her laugh even more

She slowed down laughing "Soo?"

"Fuck you Alex" she was breathing deeply completely shaken then laughed "That was amazing"

"Told ya" she kissed her shoulder "Come on let's get off for a while so she can rest then we go back"

They sat in a grass and the horse just started grazing right next to them. Yaz kept thinking what if it ran off, but it was calm as if they just took a dog for a walk.

"It's so beautiful out here" Yaz said picking up small flowers looking around at endless fields and trees.

Alex lied in a grass looking at the sky "It's my favorite place ever" she smiled "Down there there's an apple tree. Ollie came with me one day and he climbed it. Splattered himself like a pancake" she laughed "Broke his arm on two places mum wanted to kill us both....said why did god give her stupid kids" she laughed "Then bought him a bicycle the same day"

Yaz laughed "Charlie...she's so funny the way she speaks to you all"

"Oh she was always like that...Taking no shit...I suppose when you have so many kids you lose it...Someone was always doing something stupid"

Yaz leaned over with a smile

"What?" Alex smiled

"What was the most stupid thing you ever did?"

"Uuuu...I did a lot of stupid stuff Yaz...I was no flower...I won't lie...I think the most stupid think was going car racing with my brothers"

"Whaaa?"

"It was my idea....to go car racing...they were older so they all got their cars by then...I knew how to drive buuut I didn't have my license"

"No fucking way"

"Way" she giggled "So I raced against Ollie and Jamie in Eddie’s car....at night...and we all got pulled up by the police"

"OMFG!" Yaz laughed like crazy

"They all got their licenses taken away for a year and had to go to a driving test again" she giggled "But I was 17 and without it so my mum got called in. She literally wanted to kill me...all of us but me specially"

"No shit" Yaz giggled "I thought you were calm nerdy type"

Alex laughed "Yeah a part of me Yaz...Soooo...what's the most stupid thing you ever did?...Go on...spill the beans"

"You don't wanna know"

"I doooo...come on"

"Me and my mate had a bet with some other mates that we can stay inside the furniture store all night without being caught...told my parents I'm having a sleep over...they got called at 3am when security found us hiding in a wardrobe"

"OMG Yaz..." Alex screamed

"My dad wanted to murder me...he said he worked all his life to get us out of a shit hole to become something and I'm getting arrested" she laughed "He made me work all summer"

"Aaaaaaa....Yaaaaz with a criminal record"

"Shut up!" she frew a flower at her "Schumacher" she giggled

Alex looked at her in silence for a moment taking in her hair that glistened in the sun, her big brown eyes as her long lashes fluttered and the small dimples on her cheeks. She hooked a finger between the buttons of her shirt and pulled her into a long gentle kiss.

"We need to get back...it's getting late" she smiled into her lips

"No running" she pointed finger at her

"No running...promise" she smiled and kissed the tip of her nose

"Charmer" she giggled

They rode back slowly. It was early evening when they came back.  Connor was waiting for them by the stables

"Hey...had a nice time...oh she's laughing...she did"

"She did" Yaz said "It was nice"

"Had a little run just for few seconds...she loved it" Alex smiled

"Sheeee shitted herself" Yaz said

"I've got something for you" Connor said

"What?" Alex frowned getting down and helping Yaz to come off

"Wanna have a proper ride?"

"You know I do" Alex grinned

"C'mere...I just saddled him for you"

"OMG...." Alex eyes opened wide "He's new?" She turned to Connor with a massive smile

"Fuck...He's huge" Yaz stood shocked at the tall dark brown horse standing by the door of the stable wondering how do you even get on his back. She also thought there was no money in this world for which she would ever step on his back. But it took Alex three and a half seconds to get up with a silly smile all over her face that shined like she'd just won the world lottery.

"Alex....are you seriously gonna ride that?"

"Oh yeah" she grinned as Connor opened the wooden door to the field

Yaz stood back as she passed her. Unlike the animal they just rode together this one gave her a sense of awe. His sheer presence demanded admiration and respect but also, she felt fear and anxiety that Alex will get hurt. She swallowed deep watching her leave and leaned on the fence.

"She lives for this...don't worry" Connor smiled

She gave him a nervous smile and then looked back at Alex who was slowly speeding down the narrow dirt path until she took off like the wind and got smaller and smaller. She remembered what Alex had told her about feeling free and it suddenly took on new meaning seeing her far off in the distance as the sun slowly set, her hair blowing in the wind looking almost golden in the setting sun.
She came back with blushed cheeks and massive smile across her face.

"This was amazing...I needed this so much" she said leaning over stroking the horses neck "He is gorgeous"

"My best boy" Connor said proudly

"He's amazing" Alex said getting off "Thank you soo much" she hugged Connor

"Want some tea?"

"I'd love to...let me just get changed"

"Sure...come to the house"

"Alright"

They stayed for another hour. Alex mostly chatted about her new job and wedding. There was a part of Yaz that was sad and angry because Alex couldn't have the life she loved so much. It almost seemed like she was next to another person seeing her smile and happy and so full of life. And yet she couldn't understand how she could love a place that gave her so much pain and sorrow at the same time. She admired Alex in so many ways that she was able to separate the pain from the happiness and take the best out of it all, cherishing it so much. Most people she knew would simply walk away without looking back, she herself being one of them. She felt that no matter how much she knew about Alex, there would always be a part of her that would remain hidden to her. She realized that she would never be able to fully understand what it was like to go through what she went through or to be who she was or to fully understand what it was like to feel the way Alex felt. A part of Alex will always remain in her past buried with her dead name. But one thing she knew was that she was the strongest person she had ever met, someone she would always look up to with full administration.

It was late by the time they came back. Charlie waited for them with dinner which was more than welcoming after fresh air. She left for bed after they ate, leaving them in the kitchen alone. Alex closed the dishwasher with a yawn. 

"I'm knackered" Yaz ran her hands over her waist "You must be dying"

"I'm seriously flagging now...I can't keep my eyes open...I thought I'm gonna fall asleep at the table" she yawned

"Come on babe...shower bed" she kissed her shoulder blade "We smell like houses"

Alex smiled and turned around "But we had a nice day" she brushed her knuckles over Yaz's face gently

"It was a perfect date" she smiled "Terrifying but perfect"

"You said I just keep feeding you" Alex giggled and tugged her hand leading her to to the stairs

"Mmmm...true"

"And we said we need more date nights"

Yaz grabbed the waistband of her jeans climbing up behind her "Absolutely we do"

....

Yaz was already in bed dozing off when Alex came from the bathroom. She left her phone on a side table and switched off the light as Alex glued herself to her back.

"Cuddle monster" she smiled

"I'm so tired" she rubbed her face into her back

"I don't know how you even managed to push yourself the whole day" she said turning around "You're up since five"

"I think I was just so excited but my brain waisted all the adrenaline now" she tangled herself around Yaz

"Please say we can sleep in the morning"

"We can sleep in the morning"

Yaz chuckled "Seriously...can we?"

"Mmmmm...till eleven"

"Thank fuck for that"

"Mmmm...bagel"

"What?"

"Mmmwha" Alex mumbled making Yaz laughed as she realized she's out talking silly 

….

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