It was towards the end of Yaz's shift and she couldn't wait to come home. She was tiered and it was a horrible rainy Friday afternoon. She felt a bit dizzy the whole day and she kept putting it down to not having enough sleep.

"Yaz" the lady called her from the till "Come here for a moment"

"Hey Lois, what's up?"

"I have tickets for this theater show in London on Sunday. I was thinking of going with John, but he has to work. Do you want to go with Clara?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, sure...please take them"

"OMG That's so sweet Lois, thank you.  I'd love too" she smiled and then stumbled grabbing the till with her hand 

"Yaz!...You alright love?" the woman grabbed her forearm "Yaz...OMFG....Heeelp...please...help me!" the lady grabbed her laying her on the floor

Yaz was shaking and her eyes rolled at the back of her head. Her hand clenching the woman's jacket "Yaz OMG babe that the fuck. Call an ambulance now!!" the woman screamed to the other security guard holding Yaz's face between her hands.

....


Clara burst through the hospital door and went straight to the counter.

"I'm here for Yasmin Khan" she leaned over the counter stressed

"And you are?"

"Her wife...What's going on? Where is she? What room? What happened to her and who is in charge of her?" she rambled worriedly

"Please mam slow down. She's with the doctor now"

"I am the Doctor and I'm gonna calm down  when someone tells me is she alright...please tell me"

"Madam please I can't...someone will be with you straight away"

"I don't need anyone with me. I need to be with her"

"I'm sorry but you can't. Not at the moment anyway. Please sit down and someone will explain everything in a moment"

"What happened? Is she alright?

"I'm sorry I'm not allowed to give out any information, you will find out everything"

"Will see about that" she takes her sonic out and was about to scan the computer

"What's going on?" the young female doctor came to the counter

Clara heard her voice and turned around. Her jaw literally dropped on the floor "Whaaaa? Nooo way" she jumped "Martha Jones?" she yelled

"Excuse me?" the young woman asked confused

"It's me Martha the Doctor" Clara looked at her smiling

"Whaaat?" she grabbed her sleeve and pulled her on a side "Is this a joke? Did Jack put you up to this?"

"Absolutely not.... But no time to explain. Please Yasmin Khan...I have to see her Martha now"

The woman paused for a moment looking at her. The dark navy trousers and the shirt with a tie and braces over her shoulders. She looked down and saw the sonic in her hand. "You really are the Doctor" she frowned confused and shook her head shocked

"Yap...I am... very much so" she nodded grinning and Martha fell into her hugging her "I can't believe this"

"Believe it" she squeezed her tight "I'd love to chat, and we definitely will...but this is really important"

"Aaahh...yeah...sure. Come with me" she pulled her by the sleeve "What are you doing here?" Martha asked walking into the elevator

"I was about to ask you the same question"

"Kate sent me. She said I need to lose a file...Now it all makes sense. File says contact Clara. You're Clara?"

"I am now" she laughed

"You're a woman...my god. Yasmin Khan of course...waaaw so that's Yaz...legend"

"I know...go figure...Long story Martha... Please tell me what happened"

"She had a seizure...But she's fine for now we stabilized her" she gave her the file to read "We did the scans. But you and I know what they show Doctor"

"Yeah...another long story Martha I would appreciate if you didn't say anything to her"

"Alright...I get it" she tilted her head and walked out into the hallway "I'm not gonna go there Doctor. Here we are" she opened the room

"Clara!" Yaz smiled

"Yaz!" she ran over to the bed and grabbed her hand

"I'll leave you two alone. I'll be outside Doctor" Martha said

"Thanks for this" she smiled and turned over to Yaz "Hey beautiful how are you feeling?" she wrapped fingers around her face and kissed her forehead gently "What happened Yaz?"

"Please don't call mum"

"It's ok lovely...I didn't...I just rushed here straight away when they called me" she brushed her thumb over her cheek "Yaz what the hell happened?"

"I felt dizzy and I passed out. I don't know what happened. One minute I was ok and the next I was on the floor"

Clara kissed her cheek gently then took her sonic out and scanned her

"What are you doing?"

"Just looking lovely" she replied looking at the reading "I need to get you home Yaz"

"I really want to go home but I don't think they will allow me" Yaz said lacing her fingers with hers on top of the covers

"I'd like to see them stop me Yaz" she smiled kissing  her knuckles "Besides...I'm well connected" she winked "How are you feeling?"

"Normal...like nothing happened"

"Alright...that's good...actually that's brilliant" she brushed her finger over her cheek "You really scared me"

"I scared myself"

"It's going to be fine Yaz. I promise...I just need you to come home with me. I'm gonna go and speak to Martha just for few minutes ok" she strokes her face "Are you gonna be ok? I'll be right outside"

"Yeah sure...I’m fine...really...Go"

"Alright...I love you" she kissed her briefly then got up and walked outside the room

"Hey" Clara smiled

"My god...I still can't believe this face...You look nice" she laughed

"And you look as beautiful as always"

"I heard what happened. Everyone did...but I never connected it to this...I didn't know you're woman Kate never mentioned it. But the scan and" she sighed "God she's lucky  to be alive"

Clara didn't say anything to that...just looked down to the floor

"When are you leaving?"

"I'm not"

"I don't understand?"

"I stopped...After what happened...I took a brake"

"Waaaw...I didn't think anything can stop you"

"Neither did I...but here we are...And you? Still with the UNIT?"

"Definitely"

"Are you happy?"

"I am, very much...Are you Doctor?"

"Actually Martha I'm happiest I've ever been" she smiled

"I'm glad...I really am"

Clara put her hands in the pockets and looked her under the eye "Miss me?" she grinned

"Neah" she smiled

"Oh come on...Little bit?" she frowned

"Yeah alright then" she laughed "But just a little bit"

"I need her to go home with me"

"She can...but give us till tomorrow please. I need to do some more tests and MRI scan. I'll give you all the results. Then she's free to go"

"I can do that in Tardis"

"Please...let us help her...you can't do everything alone"

She sighed deeply "Alright...just till tomorrow" she clenched her jaw

....

Clara came home to an empty house. She dropped her car keys on the kitchen counter without turning on the lights. It was quiet and the silence pierced her ears. Then she saw a note on top of the kitchen counter.

"Dinner is in the oven just heat it up I'll be back around eight. Love you xxx"

Tears rolled down her face as she ran her finger over the paper and took it upstairs with her. She came into the bedroom turning on only the bathroom lights and loosened her tie, then removed the cuffs placing them over the small note Yaz had written. She ran her finger over it again, pursing her lips, then took off her shirt.

She stood in the shower with her forehead resting on the tiles letting the hot water run down her spine and felt her tears mixing with the water running down her face. Loneliness creeping into her bones again, carried by fear and anxiety. Her thoughts went wild again when she just managed to calm them down recently. She had just made the worst possible phone call to Yaz's mom, crying with fear over the phone trying to calm her down, but at the same time she couldn't calm herself.
She walked past the bed completely ignoring it with no interest in spending a minute alone in it. The lights from the street shone on her bare back, making shadows on the vertebrae of her delicate body as she took fresh clothes out of the drawer and ignoring Yaz's right next to them, she quickly closed it. She dressed and ran down the stairs threw the dark kitchen to the back door and into her blue box.

"Hello mate...I missed you too" she smiled looking up and then ran around the console flipping the switches then placed her hand over the lever taking a deep breath pulling it down.

Her back was against the open door of the Tardis and her hands were hugging her knees. It was dark and only the Tardis was humming. A beautiful purple cloud of a baby star being born passed in the distance.
She remembered the day Yaz lay beneath her wrapped in a white sheet on the mattress, her silky skin glowing under the soft lights of the Tardis and her beautiful brown eyes smiling down at her lovingly. The touch of the fingertips on the cheek and them brushing over her lips. She will never forget that night, and neither will she any other when she held the most valuable thing in the universe in her arms loving every part of her being. And now she felt alone again, minutes passed like days, hours seemed like years. She rested her head on her knees, watching the universe, wondering when she would see him like this again. Dawn came to Earth and the Tardis hummed, jolting her from her slumber. She fell asleep on the Tardis door and was lucky she didn't fall out. This would be awkward without the extra regeneration energy in her. So she quickly got up and rushed to the console.

"Thanks for that" she smiled looking up "Let's go and get her shall we?...I know I missed her too...Love ya" she pulled the lever

...

"So, you know Clara?" Yaz asked Martha as she was taking her blood sample

"Yeah it was a long time ago. We haven't seen each other in years. Used to travel together and work together"

"Oh I see"

"And you and the Doc...Clara?"

"We met in November...she had a car accident I was working as a police officer back then...and my head is pretty much spinning ever since...We are getting married in June" she smiled

Martha gulped and looked up "Married?...Waaaw...Congratulations"

"Thanks...How long do you know each other? You and Clara?"

"Now for over ten years Yaz...but we only worked together few years. Then I left"

"How come?"

"Did you ever try working with her?" she rolled her eyes smiling

Yaz laughed "No but I can imagine it's interesting"

"And exhausting...Alright you're good to go. I'll tell her you can go home. Just please make sure you get plenty of rest and no work for at least a week"

"Sure...thanks" she rolled her sleeve back down and Martha left the room

"She's ready to go home" she said to Clara as she came out into the hallway

"Thanks for that I owe you"

"No you don't...Just make sure she gets plenty rest"

"I will do" she smiled and opened her arms waiting

Martha looked at for a second smiling then fell into her arms "By the way congratulations" she smacked the back of her head "You could have told me you know"

"Sorry...I didn't know how to" she pulled apart scrunching her face

"I bet you didn't" she smiled "Go on...go get your woman Doctor" she nodded towards the room "See you around Doctor"

"It was nice seeing you Martha Jones" she said before entering the room

"Yaz" she speed up to her bed

Yaz was sitting on the edge and opened up her arms "Cuddle" she said desperately

"Biggest one in the universe" Clara fell into her arms wrapping fingers at the back of her head "I missed you so much" she squeezed her so tightly Yaz felt air leaving her lounges. Then pulled back and brushed her fingers over her face "Let's go home"

"Let's go home...I'm hungry"

Clara smiled "I'll buy you whatever you want"

"McDonald's will do" she smiled

"I'll stop on a way lovely" she bends down picking up her shoes and putting them on her feet then helping her off the bed "Take it easy...hold on to me"

They walked down the hall. Clara wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and Yaz held her around the waist, leaning against her. She still felt a little dizzy, but Martha said she would because of the medication she was given.

 

They were finally home and as they walked into the kitchen Yaz noticed that the message was gone, but dinner was still in the oven. Her heart sank when she realized that Clara hadn't touched any food since yesterday afternoon. Clara put the shopping bags on the counter and opened the refrigerator, Yaz came up behind her and put her arms around her waist gently kissing her shoulder blade. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply, lacing their fingers on her stomach and gently leaning against her.

"Hey" Yaz spoke softly rubbing her face into her back "Why don't we take a shower and just watch a movie or something. Ha? How does that sound?"

"It sounds greit" she replied with a shaky voice

"I love you my beautiful Bighead" she kissed her back trailing kisses between her shoulder blades and felt Clara pull her hand back wrapping it around her tighter. She took her hand and slowly led her up the stairs. The bed was also untouched and that just broke Yaz in half, she also saw the note on the chest of drawers and Clara's cuffs still on it. Clara turned her around and reached into her pocket pulling out the engagement ring and placing it back on her finger, then brought her hand to her lips, kissing her fingertips.

"I was gonna ask you where it was. They took it in a hospital, Martha told me they gave it to you this morning"

"I thought you died" she gulped "You know they take those off when..." tears rolled down her cheek

"OMG...Hey love...don't cry" she caressed her face wiping the tears and pulled her in a tight hug. Clara buried her head between her shoulder and neck and burst into tears. She cried softly and trembled, clutching Yaz so hard that she bearley could breathe.

"Darling, they always take it off" she gently caressed the back of her head "...when the ambulance takes you to the hospital, especially when you go for an MRI, that's standard practice love"

Clara raised her head looking at her with blotchy eyes and a red face. "It's a stupid practice," she said with a sniff and made Yaz giggle a little at how sweetly she said it almost like a grumpy child.

"It is a little...because people get scared, like you did" she placed a small tender kiss on her lips and another one on her neck and then removed the braces from her shoulders. "Shower? I smell like a hospital and I hate it. I want to smell of you" she smiled and Clara cupped her face kissing her in the gentlest way as Yaz was about to fall apart in her arms.

Yaz ran her hands over her chest, spreading the soap over her soft skin cuddling her in a same time. They both desperately needed each other's proximity. Especially Clara who was still trying to calm down and Yaz sensed it. She moved hair away from her cheeks as she brushed her lips across her face, smiling gently...

"I don't think this is what Martha meant when she said you needed a rest" Clara giggled blowing strands of hair out of her face as she emerged from under the covers

"I am resting" Yaz giggled "You did all the work baby" she wrapped her legs around her playing with her hair.

Clara chuckled into her shoulder and placed a small kiss onto it. "I'm hungry" she grinned haply

"God I love to see that smile again...I'm glad you are. You haven't eaten anything since yesterday did ya?" Yaz gently ran her hands over her shoulders and Clara didn't reply anything, she just puffed into her neck kissing it.

"I really love you Yasmin" she mumbled into her skin

"I love you too...but I'd love you even more if we go downstairs and you eat. Come on" she slapped her bare bum "Get that sweet but off me and let's go get you some food"

Clara took the tray of lasagna from the oven and was wasting through the whole lot. Yaz would normally look at her in utter horror, but today she was so happy to see her eating. She sat on a chair sipping cocoa and thinking she could swear Clara was thinner than the day before, and she couldn't figure out how. She looked at her in the shower and could literally count every rib under her fingers, and her hip bones, which used to be protruding, were now even more visible.

She assumed that she normally expended so much energy that a day without food simply ate away at her frail body.
She was back to her old self. And Yaz was relieved. She also released that she is not alone in her codependency and that Clara is no different. She literally stopped functioning for the whole day and as nice as that may be, it was also a scary feeling because Yaz had always seen Clara as someone extremely independent and strong. And truly, she was in absolutely everything, but now it was clear to her that they could no longer function without each other.
She watched her happily scoffing through the tray chatting away about the the conservatory that was going up in two days. Clara was a mixture of this powerful woman who felt almost intimidating at times, but she was also the softest person Yaz had ever known. Her emotions were raw and unfiltered, and she found it extremely endearing and funny. She was also most tender with Yaz.

Yaz took the juice from the counter and put it back in the fridge, then lazily lowered herself over Clara's back.

"Mmmm...That feels nice" Clara said taking the last bite of food in her mouth "I was cold and now I'm not"

"I'm your radiator" she laughed and slid her hands around her chest "Darling why is your skin so cold all the time? Is that normal for you?"

"Mmmm...yes..." she nodded with her mouth full "I do have many physiological differences from humans Yaz. Two hearts which normally beat at 170 beats per minute, three brain stems, and yes lovely internal body temperature of 15 degrees Celsius or 59 degrees Fahrenheit. That's why my bum gets cold all the time," she laughed licking the fork

"Feel better now?"

"Definitely...that was really nice Yaz...thanks for cooking that"

"Always babe...Wanna watch the movie?" Yaz smiled over her shoulder kissing her cheek

Clara just turned around grinning haply and her face spoke more than words.

"But Yaz not too long...you need to sleep. I know you feel better but I can't go through that again"

"Deal...I'll tell you what, you pick the movie and could you please bring the duvet down so we can snuggle" she said kissing her head and picked up the tray just slinging it into the sink

"Yap...no problem...And I have idea for the movie"

 

....

 

It was Sunday and the sun had not yet risen over the horizon. The bed was worm and Yaz was pressed against Clara's back. She felt her breathing in her neck wrapping her arm around her chest. Clara desperately needed to pee, but refused to move, enjoying the warmth of her skin against hers. She also knew that the moment she took off the covers, the fresh morning air would come in underneath and make her feel cold, which was not appealing at all. She slowly turned around so she could see her face, but as soon as she did, Yaz moaned and buried her face in her neck, wrapping herself in a ball. This made Clara laugh as her plan to kill time by watching her sleep, her favorite thing to do in the morning, failed. But for now, she could settle for a cuddle, much better than the empty bed from the night before. She had spent many lonely nights, more than she could even count. Most of the time she didn't think too much about it because it was just easier to ignore but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.
There were many times she just needed a hug or a simple touch that spoke louder than words. It was never so much about passion as about a connection of which passion was the final part, as an extension of what she felt expressed in some other more intimate way, the most intimate of all. Because there was nothing more beautiful than having that permission for every part of one's body and it was something that was always sacred in her hearts.
She had relationships before, although not many considering the length of her life. She also had her hearts broken numerous times, more than she could count. But there was no one she felt as connected to as Yaz. She never needed to speak, her touch spoke louder than words and clearer than any language. She understood her on a deeper level that was amazing considering how little of her she actually knew. But it felt as iff she understood even the deepest parts of her very being.
Yaz moaned into her neck kissing it softly and trailed lazy lines on her lower back with her fingers making her want to pee even more but she still refused to move.

"Morning beautiful" Clara smiled tangling fingers through her hair

"Hey" she razed her head and gave her a soft sleepy smile and a kiss "Morning love"

"You look so cute in a morning"

"You're as pretty as always but you feel amazing in a morning" she stretched herself and continued cuddling her back and kissing her neck

"Darling"

"Mmmm?" Yaz mumbled into her neck

"That's really nice but it's tickling me and I'm gonna piss myself...been holding it for an hour and I'm dying"

Yaz cracked up laughing and released the grip "Go on...go pee silly"

Clara shot out of bed and Yaz continued rolling around it lazy. "Hey...I've got tickets for theatre show in London for tonight"

"You do?"

"Yeah...mate from work gave them to me just before I passed out. I still have them in my jacket iff you wanna go"

"That's nice of her...yeah why not. But do you feel ok to go Yaz...are you sure?"

"I feel fine...honest. i don't know what that shit was, but I'm fine now. I just think I was tiered babe. I haven't slept properly in days"

Clara crawled back to bed and pulled the duvet over their heads "I'm cold...I need my radiator" she giggled snuggling

"I need more sleep...It's five in a morning" Yaz said wrapping her arm around her and slumping her leg over her hip "You should sleep some more as well babe...Come on...I'll keep you warm" she smiled kissing her

"I can't tell you how nice it is to have you back in fhis bed"

"I can't tell you how horrible it was sleeping in a hospital without you love. And I was all alone in that room as well. I couldn't wait for the morning...but let's forget that ever happened...how about that?...I refuse to allow any of that crap to get in away of you and me...or between us...see...no space for shit" she giggled pushing herself so close to her until there was not even an inch of space between them

"Deal...you glue to me I glue to you and we're all done"

"Yap" she nods haply

"And why didn't we think of that before?" she scrunched up her nose

"No clue babe...cause we're a bunch of idiots" she giggled

"Thanks Yaz...Never been called an idiot before. Well I have but that's beside the point"

"Don't mention it babe"

"But then again I've never been told to fuck off either" she laughed kissing her forehead

"It's just my love language babe" she cracked up laughing squeezing her face between her hands and pressed a kiss to her squished lips laughing

Clara literally let her do whatever she wanted with her. Yaz was the only person in the universe allowed to do so, the only one with the ability to turn her into putty within five minutes. And even though she absolutely hated her dirty language, she eventually accepted it and even came to like it as part of Yaz. This Yaz...who was a little different, but then she was different herself after everything that happened. Softer and more tolerant, much less hectic than she used to be.
It changed her core in a way, but she welcomed the change, hoping that this time the decisions she would make would be better.

"I love your love language" she replied with the squished face making Yaz laugh like crazy "You're really enjoying this?"

"Yeeesss!" she continued to laugh and Clara started tickling her to release her hands making her scream and beg her to stop.

"Stop...no...pleeeeease...I'm beginning you" she screamed laughing like a kid

"I love you so much Yaz" Clara said calmly pressing her wrists into the mattress hovering over her. Yaz gazing at her still trying to ketch a breath.

"You're the best thing that happened to me Clara"

"And you to me" she said and kissed her the way only Clara ever kissed her, pulling her out of this place amongst the stars.

 

....

 

 

"Yaz are you absolutely sure you feel good enough for this?" Clara kissed her shoulder in front of the bedroom mirror and pulled the zipper on her dress

"I do I promise love. I'm not dizzy or tired or anything I really feel fine"

Clara took a sonic out of the pocket and scanned her just in case

"I can't believe you just did that silly woman...I'm fine" she rolled her eyes

"You wanting to be fine and you being fine are two separate things Yaz" she looked at the scan and kissed her temple

"All I need to do is look at you dressed like this and feel great babe" she smiled gliding her hand over her waistcoat kissing her neck then straightening her tie

Clara put a finger under her chin lifting her gaze "You look absolutely stunning" she said kissing her "Let's go, I think I just heard the cab"

Clara took a jacket off the bed slinging it on and reached for Yaz's hand.

"Wanna have a little walk?" Clara said as they came out of the theatre

"Yeah why not. It's warm"

They walked through Trafalgar Square, it was still teeming with people. It reminded Yaz of their walk that night in Oxford when they first met. Clara held her hand the whole time and brushed it with her thumb. Then they saw a nice bar and she suggested they have a drink. In the end it was more of a smaller club with loud music and lots of people. Yaz was extremely amused to see Clara catching the beat of the music, or rather trying to, as they stood at the bar. She looked comical and cute at the same time and so out of place, but she looked like she was generally having fun. It was completely out of her comfort zone, unlike Yaz who missed going clubbing and hadn't in months since meeting Clara. But the real fun started when Yaz pulled her out on the dance floor and she absolutely pissed herself laughing at how uncool she was. As much as she was completely on her own turf when it came to classical dance clubs just weren't her scene. But anyway, Yaz absolutely had fun and laugh. They also met a few people and talked a little at the bar. Clara came up with her classic "I haven't partied in at least 200 years. The last time I did this I was a bloke" and made people laugh by thinking she's high as a kite.
They came out laughing and Clara stood in the middle of the road wobbling shoving a finger in her ear making Yaz giggle like crazy.

"What the fuck are you doing babe?"

"It's really buzzing...I'm having a serious head wonk Yaz"

"Whaaa?" she laughed like crazy

"I do have excellent hearing Yaz and that music was really loud"

"Babe you're yelling...they can hear to East London" she laughed literally to the point of tears streaming down her face and she could have sworn Clara was drunk. Her sleeves were rolled up and her shirt was half way out of her pants, the braces were hanging down her hips and Yaz had to grab her jacket from the chair where she just left it. Which Yaz knew for a fact she would never do because she had a sonic in her pocket.

"Yaz...I'm dizzy"

"No shit babe" she laughed and grabbed her by the waist "I need to call the cab babe" she said when they walked to the corner and sat her down on the pavement standing in front of her calling a cab.
Clara fell asleep on her shoulder in the back of a cab. Yaz simply found the whole thing absolutely hilarious. She got her home and helped her to a bed then started taking her clothes off.

"C'mere" Clara grinned pulling her arm as Yaz was unbuttoning her shirt and practically threw her on top of herself "Did I tell you how much I love you?"

"Nope" Yaz laughed as she was wrapping her fingers around her face in really discoordinated way

"I never loved anyone like you Yasmin. I am so happy to have you back" she pulled her head into the kiss which was extremely nice even though she tested of alcohol and was completely out of it. But she was still composed enough to sufficiently drive air out of Yaz's lounges. It was what came out of her drunken mouth that threw Yaz a bit sideways, but she brushed it off in the brief moments after being distracted by her hands and mouth.
She also attributed it to Clara actually being fully waisted, so much so that after a long and passionate kiss she simply buried her face into Yaz's shoulder and was falling asleep. So Yaz continued undressing her and tucked her into the duvet. She sorted herself out and snuggled behind her kissing her shoulder and slipping her arm around her waist.