Chapter 2
Alex was so excited about her lunch break that she had to make a serious effort to concentrate on her work. But she managed to make it through the first half of her day and raced down the stars, not having the patience to wait for the lift. She saw Yaz standing by the front door in a beautiful yellow summer dress with French braids on either side of her head that fell over her shoulders. She felt her heart skip a beat for a moment and then remembered the conversation she had with her mother slowing her pace as she walked through the double doors with a huge smile on her face. She couldn't help that part though.
"Hiya"
"Hey! " Yaz turned with a smile
Alex walked up to her and immediately kissed her on the cheek making her smile. She shone like the sun in the sky. And Yaz wondered if she had an extra stash of serotonin in her pocket that kept her chirping all the time.
"We can go over there" she pointed across the road "Apparently there's a place where most people go to and eat at the lunch break"
"Don't you?"
"Aaarr...no...not really"
"Why not?"
"Socially awkward" she said with a smile
"You don't seem so"
"Glad you think that...but I am...I just make an idiot out myself most of the times"
"I think you're wonderful"
"Aaaww...really? Well thanks for that"
"Any time" she smiled
"Oh,oh...I have a plan for the weekend" she said walking fast next her waiving her hands as she was explaining "But if you don't like it please say so"
"Alright" Yaz giggled as they walked towards the crossing
"I thought we go to theatre...there's this great comedy show I saw and it could be fun. But if your not up for that or you want to do something else or... "
"Careful!!" Yaz grabbed her forearm pulling her back as Alex almost stepped out on a road in front of cars "It sounds fantastic"
"It does?"
"Yes it does....take a deep breathe" she laughed "Honestly I don't care what we do I'm sure we'll have a nice time"
"Aaaaa... brilliant...I'll book the tickets then. You look very lovely by the way"
"Thanks...you too...very elegant"
They sat outside in a shade happy they managed to find a free table.
"Hey...whanna see what I'm doing?" Yaz asked
"Yes...yes I do"
"Look" she scrolled through her phone to the photos "It's for the new furniture store in Leeds"
"Waaaaw...you did all that?" she smiled leaning over
"Mmmm" Yaz smiled and realized just then how beautiful her eyes were. Hazel with a slight touch of green in them as they smiled at her just few centimeters from her face
"That's amazing Yaz...and you do all those pictures as well?"
"Yes the whole lot"
"I must say, I'm really impressed. Hey how's your sister doing?"
"Better, no pain. Like nothing happened...But they did say she should be having it some time next week and if not they will induce her"
"That's good....I mean not my favorite option...but if needed"
"I'm just so worried"
"Hey, don't be" Alex palms her hand that was resting on a table "She's gonna be fine...Now statistically the chances of something happening to your sister or her baby are very small you know they are now 20 to 100 000 births. And your sisters pregnancy seems very normal...so see nothing to worry about"
"I'm sorry...pregnancy scares me...a lot...I know you're fascinated with it and that's fine and beautiful but it just freaks me out"
"And that's fine as well...in fact historically you are programed to be afraid of it"
"Really?"
"Yes...yes absolutely Yaz. See woman and infant mortality was so huge that giving birth was a serious business. So serious women used to write their will and plan the whole funeral before giving birth. So you are conditioned culturally to be scared. It's not strange and I completely understand it"
"Did anyone ever tell you how smart you are" Yaz giggled
"They have actually" she laughed
"And kind?"
"Mmmmm...Not that much"
"Well you are" she smiled
"Mmmm..." she looked down to the table embarrassed
"I'm starving"
"Yes me too" she looked up again smiling
"Soo...what do they have here? Let's see" Yaz pulled the menu out "I like that chicken sandwich"
"Tuna one looks good as well...Talking about that...when do you wanna meet up tomorrow?"
"As early as possible if you're ok with that?...I wanna use the day"
"Aaaaa...really?" she grinned haply surprised "Alright then? Well you choose because I get up at six"
"Fuck girl don't you like sleeping?"
"I do...I just got used to it because of my work"
"Of course" she rolled her eyes laughing "I'm so stupid"
"No you're not...Don't say that" she looked at the menu "Aaaaa" she said so exited she made Yaz jump "They have brownies....Oh I love brownies...and those custard crème biscuits"
Yaz looked up at her as she read the menu. The wind blew in her direction, surrounding her with the scent of mint and something wonderfully sweet like honey. She realized it was Alex and was hooked. It was nice and bright and smelled like summer. Alex felt like that, exactly like summer, bright, warm and inviting. It reminded her of the childhood innocence and the long school holidays filled with endless days of playing, but she wasn't sure if that was a good thing as the summers ended with the autumn rains. The ringing of the phone snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked down and her blood pressure shot through the ceiling
"Im sorry I have to pick this up"
"No problem...go ahead"
"I'll have chicken sandwich and a brownie" she smiled "Oh, and please coffee I need coffee" she said getting up and moving from the table
Alex saw her arguing with someone on the phone, but she couldn't hear what she was saying. So she went inside and took their food and drink in the meantime. When she returned, she saw Yaz sitting at the table, visibly stressed, trying to hide it, and smiling nervously at her.
"Are you alright?" she said putting the tray on a table
"That obvious ha?"
"Mmmmm" she nodded "You don't need to tell me if you..."
"My ex"
"Oh" Alex sat down
"Yeah...I don't wanna dump this on you I just met you...Basically I'm asking her for over two months to get her stuff out of my apartment and she's been systematically ignoring me"
"Oh...sorry about that" Alex said out loud but inside the only thing she heard was "she" and then shook off her thoughts
"As I said...I'm not dumping my shit at you it's not fair....So let's just forget this happened and enjoy in a lunch....This looks nice" she peaked into her sandwich
"It really does....So...ten?"
"Excuse me?"
"Ten...tomorrow?"
"Yeah" she smiled "ten sounds perfect"
"Brilliant ....I can pick you up?"
"Sure...I suppose it would be silly to go with two cars"
"We can start with breakfast and then I'll think of the rest by the time we finish"
"I like the Idea"
"So what happened with your ex? Sorry if this is too much and you're not dumping shit at me...But now I'm worried I'm overstepping....I'm too much aren't I?" she started fidgeting nervously "Forget I asked...it's way too personal....I told you I'm really socially awkward"
"She couldn't keep her zipper shut?"
"Excuse me?"
"She cheated...and more than once....in fact she cheated the whole six months and I was a moron...and your not socially awkward" she smiled
"Huh...alright now that's really horrible. I'm so sorry you went through that
"It just pisses me off because I feel like my past is still there and I'm legit tripping over it..in literal sense...I just want it out so I feel it's my space you know"
Alex shoved a straw into her drink "How much stuff?"
"Ha?"
"Her stuff...how much of it is in your apartment?"
"Not a lot but I don't want to be an ass throwing it out...she just thinks by keeping it I will change my mind and I don't change my mind"
"You know you can rent a box...I think it's box, locket...something...anyways" she said casually whilst dismantling her tuna sandwich pulling tomatoes out on a plate
"Whaaa?" she leaned back in a chair intrigued "Go on"
"Main train station...You can leave you suitcase there. It's meant for tourists...you get a ticket or a key...some places a card...it's been a long time since I've travelled like that...but anyway...leave that key or a card in her letter box and text her you put all her stuff there so longer she leaves it more it will cost her...Believe me she will be there next morning"
Yaz laughed like crazy "Socially awkward my ass...you fucking genius"
"I'll help you pack if you want?" she said smug drinking her juice smirking
"Alright...you got yourself a deal...Sunday?"
"Really?" she jumped exited
"Yeah...if you want...you can meet my cat"
"Deal" Alex wiggled in her chair
Time went fast. Way too fast for both of them as they continued chatting and before they knew the launch break was over.
"I'm gonna have to go" Alex said putting her lips
"I know...." Yaz replied deflated "But we have a whole weekend together" she smiled
"So we do...I'm so chuffed I met you Yaz"
"You and me both...and I'm sorry iff I seem manic sometimes. I'm really not...I'm actually quite a balanced person...I'm just really exited and enjoying in your company that's all"
"I feel the same...so don't worry"
"Good...Then we understand each other's weirdness" she laughed "I won't keep you anymore...go get those babies" she laughed and got up
Alex stood up and spread her arms like a child, and Yaz fell into them. There was something so innocent about the way she would do it, that even if you weren't into hugging, you just couldn't say no to her. But Yaz didn't want to say no anyway, so she gladly hugged her tightly.
"Go girl" she giggled and pulled apart "And call me...text me...something" she giggled waiving
"Will do.." Alex waived and ran to the hospital as now she was already five minutes late for her patients
….
Yaz was working late into the evening trying to finish her project so she could relax at the weekend. Her desk was by the bed underneath the big window overlooking the street below. She was on a second floor and loved how the view felt more as from the house rather than apartment. She stopped for a moment to rest her eyes from the computer and walked into the small kitchen to make herself some coffee so she can keep her eyes open for another two hours until she finishes with her work. She kicked the kettle and took her phone
"Hiya" the usually chirpy voice from the other side picked up
"Hey...I'm having a little break so I just thought I give you call. I hope I'm interrupting you"
"No, not at all...I'm just watching TV...I got the tickets by the way. We just need to be there a bit before to pick them up I don't have a printer"
"I do" Yaz said
"Really? Alright...I tell you what...I'll send by email then"
"Cool...I'll text you my email. How was your day?"
"It was easy day today...no babies" she giggled "Aaaa got your email on WhatsApp"
"Good...just send them I'll print them out so we don't have rush...then we can just chill out"
"Brilliant ....aaaa is that your cat?"
"Oh, yeah...That's Ms. Sniffles"
Alex laughed "That's a funny name"
"When I got him he was very ill and sniffling all the time so he sort of stayed Ms. Sniffles...Now he's also Sniff, stincky, ass hole when he doesn't want a cuddle"
Alex laughed on the other end
"I have to...I'm sorry"
"Oh, don't be...work I get it...Don't want to hold you up...Well see you in the morning"
"See ya..."
Alex hang up the phone and rushed to her computer tapping around barefoot across the apartment. Two hours ago she was calmly watching TV and now her breathing was quickened again. And she felt so stupid for feeling this way but it felt her brain was split in two and one half was acting like a teenager and the other one was more close to her real age and they absolutely didn't communicate with each other.
"Oh god....this is so not gonna end well..." she spoke out loud as she tucked her hair behind her ears and leaned over the desk to send the email. She took a deep sight and pressed send "I'm so going to regret this" she tapped towards the living room and sat on sofa tucking her feet underneath the blanket then took her phone
"Hey girl..." the voice on the other end said haply "Didn't expect you at this time....what's wrong?"
"Why would anything be wrong?" Alex protested
"It's ten in the evening...waaaay pass your hours...so come on spill the beans"
"Anna you really scare me sometimes you know that..."
"Because I know you better than you know yourself?"
"Sort of...kinda ...scary thought I must admit....Anyway...yes you'd be right"
"You did it again didn't you?"
"Did what again?"
"You met someone didn't you? And you were in your happy clappy world and now you're starting to shit yourself"
"I do not shit myself thank you very much" she said smug "But yes I'm in a pickle sort of speak"
"Does she like you?"
"Dunno...I think so..."
"Did you go on a date?"
"I dunno"
"How can you not now? Was it a date or not?"
"It was something but I'm not sure what it was"
"Oh Jesus...You know, for someone who knows practically every medical book by heart you can seriously be complete lost cause when it comes to regular life"
"I know...I'm a disaster I know it" she giggled
"But you didn't tell her"
"Noooo" she said pouting her lips "I didn't...And I should before thinking get out of hand...but this is so hard..."
"I know it is" Anna said gently, the tone of her voice changing drastically "And I know you're scared, I get that. But sooner you get it off your chest the better it is for everyone"
"I feel like I always have to..."
"Justify yourself...I know babes...but it's the world we're living in"
"I shouldn't have to"
"I know darling...But you know...and you know you are soooo loved...Right?"
"I do"
"You're so beautiful babe...inside and out...and if someone can't love the beautiful that you are...well...they can go and fuck themselves"
Alex laughed through tears. She was shaking nervously. And she knew she shouldn't after all those years. But she still did. It was something that she simply couldn't change, something she was fighting with for years with no avail.
"Don't cry...hey...you never know...maybe she's the one"
"Maybe...She's so pretty"
"What's her name?"
"Yaz...Yasmin...like the flower...isn't that beautiful...I love the smell of Yasmin...And she has this beautiful hair that looks indigo blue in a sun...it's so amazing. And she doesn't mind my rambling"
"She sounds like a nice person...please honey...just do it"
"Alright....you're right...I know you are...and so is mum...she called me again today"
"Go to bed...you sound tiered"
"I am tiered...it was full clinic today I'm exhausted"
"I love you"
"I love you too"
"Night beautiful"
"Night darling"
Alex hang up the phone and picked up a pillow from the sofa hugging it. She opened the picture folder on her phone and image of a small gray kitten "I should've just got you instead...you wouldn't care either way" she said and sighed
….
Alex drove to Yaz's building the gps as she was still not familiar with any of the places. She only
drove herself to work and back, stopping only to get some food on a way. But as Yaz said, she was only minutes down the road from the hospital. She turned from the main road and saw her standing on the corner in another pretty summer dress. It was ankle-length white cotton with only thin straps that criss-crossed her nearly bare back, partially hidden by the hair that fell over it in beautiful little curls. The perfect white made her bronze skin glisten in the sun and reminded Alex of the Greek goddess Athena.
Alex never found herself in dresses. As much she wanted to wear them at some point in her life she never felt completely confident in them. So she choose a different style that made her feel good about herself without feeling self conscious about appearance. She beeped as she pulled up behind her and Yaz turned around confused at first then flashed a massive smile when she saw her.
"Morning" she peaked through the open window and opened the door
"Morning gorgeous" she smiled "Oh just dumb that on back seat" she said moving some books there were left on a passenger seat
"Nice car" Yaz said sitting down
"Neah..." Alex waived her hand
Yaz sat down and this morning she leaned over first to exchange gentle kisses on a cheek making Alex grin like school girl with a serious crush
"You look beautiful...I love that shirt"
"Thank you...it's very light....pure cotton. The weather forecast says a heat wave"
"I know...that's why I'm wearing this. Normally I only take for a holiday...it's really my beach dress, but don't tell anyone" she giggled
"My lips are sealed" she smiled
"So...where are you taking me?" she asked wiggling to get a hold of a seat belt then Alex reached out to clip it for her
"I know a nice place for breakfast...then iff you want we can grab some Ice-cream and go to botanical gardens" she turned twards her waiting eagerly to hear her response
"Waaaw....you do know how to charm a girl don't you?....I love it"
Alex nearly ripped out a wheel of her car and the
only sound that came out of her mouth was incoherent approval "Mmmmwha" that had absolutely no meaning in any language out of five she spoke. So she quickly pulled herself together and drove into the main road.
"This is nice" Yaz said beaming as they sat down for breakfast
"I did actually come here once. It's a hotel where I stayed when I first moved here"
"Really? Oh, waaay"
"They have a really nice breakfast" she smiled
"Doctor!" the waitresses said surprised when she saw her
"Morning Hanna"
"How nice to see you again"
"Nice to be back...Hanna this is Yaz...Yaz Hanna"
"Nice to meet you Yaz...so girls what can I get you?"
"Oh you know what I want" Alex grinned exited
"Fried egg sandwich" Hanna smiled and Alex wiggled in her chair still smiling
"And you love?"
"Mmmmm....you know what...I'll have what she's having"
"Good choice...drinks?"
"Orange juice" Alex said
"Me too please" Yaz replied
"Alright coming up...well enjoy yourselves"
"Thank you" Yaz said "How long were you here for?"
"The first week then I moved to my apartment"
"Do you plan on staying or?"
"That depends"
"On what?"
"If I have a reason to stay" she said quietly looking at her
Yaz smiled nervously purposely changing the subject "You do realize that all we do is eat ever since we met" Yaz giggled
"I must say I didn't think about it that way...but now when you mentioned we do, don't we?" she laughed "I can always take you paragliding instead if you want"
"Nooooo" she burst out laughing "Not unless you want me to die...or be sick or both in a same time"
"Rock climbing? "
"Noooo" Yaz giggled
"Parachuting, cheese rolling?"
"Stooop!" she giggled like crazy "Alright...just feed me"
"I can do that"
"Good"
"You two giggle so sweet" Hanna said bring the drinks
"She wants me to take her cheese rolling" Alex said
"Noooo I don't" Yaz laughed "Don't listen to her...you silly sod"
"Well, cheese or not you two just brightened up my day. Food will be in a minute" Hanna smiled and walked off
"Thank you Hanna" Alex said
Yaz couldn't stop laughing "Alright...so you tell me then.."
"Tell you what Yasmin?"
"Where do you wanna take me?"
"Everywhere" Alex said opening the bottle of juice for her
"I'm serious"
"You don't look it Yaz...you're still giggling"
"Alright" she was trying to pull the serious face "If you would take me on a date...where would you take me?"
"Do you want me to take you on a date" Alex asked concentrating on pouring the drinks feeling like the ground will open up and swallow her whole
Yaz went silent and stopped laughing. Alex didn't dare to even look up. She felt her heart beating in her throat.
"I do" Yaz said quietly then made a long pause before she uttered the rest "If you want to?" she said with a shaking voice
Alex froze, still holding the glass and bottle staring at the table as they both fell silent. Yaz gulped feeling anxiety come over her as she watched her slowly put everything back on the table feeling herself sink into the chair as she looked into her eyes
"I'd love to" she said with a massive sigh
They stared at each other wordlessly for a moment before Yaz's face broke into a smile "Okay… take me"
"Are you serious?" she smiled nervously
"As a heart attack" she said leaning back into the chair "But not cheese rolling" she burst out laughing again making Alex laugh with her
"Alright Yasmin Khan...I'll take you on a date" Alex said still smiling "But without cheese"
They both burst out in a hysterical laugh again
As they walked towards the car Yaz linked her arm to Alex's looking up at her smiling as if asking approval, and she did get it in a form of a beautiful big smile.
They walked for a long time in the botanical gardens. As the day went on, it got warmer. And they sat down on a bench feeding the squirrel.
"Hey look...don't move" Alex said as one of the squirrels approached Yaz from behind
"She's behind me isn't she?"
"Aha...give me your hand" she took peanuts and slowly placed few into Yaz's hand then ruffled the bag "She knows it's food Yaz she's looking"
"Is she coming?"
"Just hold still...she's on her way "
The little animal carefully approached them hopping between them. Yaz's open hand still resting in Alex's as the animal climbed on Yaz's shoulder. She closed her eyes exited then opened them again smiling looking at Alex.
"Look" she wordlessly said nodding slightly as squirrel picked up a peanut from their hands and ran off
"OMG...that was do amazing" Yaz said exited like a kid "I fed them before as a kid but I haven't done this in ages" she felt Alex's fingers gently brushing over hers as she pulled her hand away sheepishly
"I used to cone here every day when I lived at the hotel. They are so adorable"
"It's so hot..." she said moving the straps of her dress over her shoulders "Hey is there anywhere we can get some Ice-cream here?"
"Aaaaaa....Ice-cream...what a greit idea. I know the place" she jumped up on her feet and reached for Yaz's hands pulling her up
They slowly walked towards the entrance keeping to the shade underneath the trees
"We should go somewhere shady. Your face is going red" Yaz said as they chatted away
"Is it? I burn easily in a sun"
"Wait" Yaz stopped and started scrambling through the big cotton bag she had "Hold this" she took a little make-up bag out placing it in Alex's hands
"What are you doing?" she frowned confused
"I got something...give me a second" she said taking out a tube of cream out "May I?" she asked as she squeezed some on her hand
Alex giggled "Is that a sun cream?"
"Told ya...this is all my holiday pack...bag, dress, shoes"
"You have a swimming costume inside as well?" Alex asked blinking as Yaz smeared the cream over her face.
"There...it's factor 50 so you should be fine...In fact" she laughed pulling everything back in a bag and wiped out a bikini "I doooo" she burst out laughing
"Aaaaaa....Yasmin Khan...I do not believe this" Alex laughed
"I just grabbed it in the morning. I told you I don't know how to manage my time. I forgot to clean it out"
"Well I must say you come prepared....Just wondering what you will pull out of that bag by the end of the day. And thank you for the cream"
"Don't want you looking like a lobster by the end of the day" she laughed
"I don't think I ever can look like a lobster....I'm missing quite few pars of limbs and some other parts as well"
"Well I don't want you to...I'm not into lobsters thank you very much" she giggled
"I'd be seriously worried if you were"
The day went quickly and everything came in a blink on an eye. They walked slowly towards the theatre.
"Do you have any siblings?" Yaz asked
"Four...tree brothers and one sister"
"Waaaw...big family"
"It is...it was never boring I can tell you...and you? Apart from your sister?"
"Noo...just me and her...but we always argued until she stayed pregnant it brought us together"
"Oh"
"She met this wanker and fell for him but when she stayed pregnant he dumped her"
"I'm sorry"
"That's ok...I think she's better off without him. Alex...can I ask you something?"
"Ask"
"How come your alone? You don't need to answer I'm just being nosey here" she giggled
"That's alright...It's complicated with me...I just haven't found the right person. I'm sure there somewhere" she glanced at her smiling "I just never had luck in that department...And I'm pretty useless when it comes to it"
"Tell me about it...I have a rare talent of picking the wrong people and making an idiot out of myself. My whole family gave up on me by now"
"Aaaa...there we are Yaz...the theatre...Oh I really hope you like this" she squirmed nervously scrunching her face "But if you don't we can leave I'm not gonna get upset"
"Hey..." she tugged her hand brushing her fingers over it "Relax..." she smiled "I'm sure we gonna have great time"
"I hope so or that would be really embarrassing" she said as they walked inside
They had a great time and Yaz loved the show. It was fun and relaxing. As it happens, she hasn't been to the theater in over two years and didn't even realize she missed it so much until tonight. She also realized that her social life had become seriously poor as they did more things in one day than she did in over three months. From the looks of it, Alex was thoroughly enjoying herself too. They giggled in the car on the way back and Alex suddenly felt like she didn't want this day to end. She was getting sadder as they got closer to Yaz's building.
"Soo...About tomorrow?" Alex asked nervously gripping the wheel as she pulled over in front of Yaz's building
"You are coming, right?"
"Iff you want me to?"
"Yes...yes I do"
"Aaa...alright then" she smiled nervously
"Ten like today?" Yaz asked
"Brilliant" she nodded turning in her car seat towards her
"Thank you for a beautiful day...I really had a blast"
"Me too...although there was a serious lack of cheese"
They burst out laughing and Yaz suddenly leaned over and pressed her lips on Alex's leaving her scrambling
"Mmmmm" Alex whimpered into her lips pulling away panicked grabbing Yaz's hands
"OMG I'm so sorry" Yaz said horrified with herself
"No..Yaz I..."
"I'm sorry I should've done that"
"No..Yaz..that was...nice" she let go of her hands nervously
"It was?"
"Yes it's just..." she scrambled for words completely panicking "I'm just not like you"
"Oooh, shit!" Yaz sighed looking up at car ceiling
"Noo!...No that's, that's not what I mean...I am physically, kinda, sort of...everything is there but..."
"But you're not into girls?"
"Noo, I mean yes I am...that's not what I was gonna say...I am...girls are nice...in fact really nice beautiful, just"
"You're not into me?"
"I am...I am Yaz...very much so I am" she squirmed shutting her eyes trying desperately to formulate one single sentence that would make sense
"Then what Alex? What are you trying to say...you're confusing me"
"I'm a trans woman Yaz!" she yelled and suddenly there was deathly silence inside the car
Alex looked down to the floor, her eyes aimlessly roaming around the car interior. "I'm sorry...I was gonna tell you...I should've told you....before...I was so stupid" she fell silent again and Yaz could see her physically shaking like a branch
"Alex" she said quietly
"Mmmm?"
"There's only one thing I wanna know"
Alex signed deeply and looked up with teary eyes and a wobbly chin "Mmmm?
"Do you want to kiss me?"
She looked up as tears rolled down her face "Do you want me to?" the words barley rolling over her lips
"Very much so" she smiled and reached for her cheek but Alex took her hand shaking "I'm gonna pass out if you don't do something..."
She cut her of pressing her lips at hers sheepishly at first bringing her hand up to Yaz's cheek wrapping her fingers around it. A small whipper leaving her as Yaz parted her lips deepening the kiss shuffling on her seat so she can bring her hand to Alex's neck. It was slow and passionate and she felt herself sinking into her seat as the big hole opened in her stomach like she never kissed anyone before. Alex shook like a branch in the wind parting the kiss to rest her forehead on hers brushing her finger over Yaz's cheek desperately holding her tears back.
"It's alright" Yaz said gently brushing her fingertip on a side of her neck
"I wanted to tell you Yaz it's just so hard...I"
"It's alright...and you will...But it's not changing anything...I still want that cheese date you promised" she laughed and Alex kissed her again. This time more passionate and assertive like something broke inside her and she felt light as feather. She kissed her gently one small kiss following another feeling her soft lips melting into hers. Her heart beating like it will give up on her. She parted with a small still nervous smile.
"I should go" she said "I'm not saying I want to...just saying that I should really"
"Ok" Yaz smiled stroking her face tucking hair behind her ears as her eyes were roaming over Alex's freaked out face "Don't be nervous...it's alright..."
Alex smiled from the corner of her lips still looking down then razing her gaze at her eyes making Yaz dying at the spot.
"Text me when you get home?" Yas said quietly
"Absolutely" she nodded still holding her tears
"Alright...ten tomorrow?" she moved to open the car door
"Ten"
Yaz came out of the car then leaned back inside and placed one more small kiss to Alex's lips "We're cool"
"Mmmm" she smiled
As Yaz left she slumped her head on a wheel and cried. Tears rolling down her face uncontrollably as her chest raised trying to breathe. She wasn't capable of driving. She wasn't capable of anything at this point but crying and letting it all out so she scrambled frantically for her phone.
"Mum" she cried into the phone
"Alex...Jesus are you alright?"
"Muuum" she cried
"Alex speak to me...what happened?...Baby are you alright"
"I told her mum...I told her and she kissed me mum"
"Jesus Alex you're gonna be the death of me. I thought something happened to you..."
"Mmmmm" she mumbled wiping the tears
"Oh baby...It's alright darling...Don't cry"
"She likes me"
"Then don't cry...be happy darling...this is good. Come on...besides...there's plenty of you to like it's not that hard" she smiled "Come on baby, calm down...I love you"
"I love you too mum...I need to pull myself together I can't drive like this...I just had to tell you..."
"Are you still in a car?"
"Yeees....in front of her building like a stalker...I have to move" she laughed wiping her tears
"Alright...just please be careful how you drive. This is nice Alex...Come on...calm down and call me when you get home you can tell me everything"
"Ok...I'm gonna go now"
"Speak soon...love ya"
"Love you too" she hang up the phone and wiped her face. The little mascara she had on her lashes leaving black marks on her fingers then started the car with a big sigh
….
Yaz entered her apartment and plopped down on the sofa. She pulled out her phone, waiting for Alex to text or call. She was worried when she saw how upset she was. She was still shaken herself, but not because of what Alex had told her, but because of the fear that she had messed everything up in the most spectacular way. She had never kissed someone like that without thinking in her life. She had never kissed someone first in her life and for a moment she seriously thought she was forcing herself on a straight woman and was completely humiliated by herself. She felt so bad for Alex now that she knew what she had done. And she wished she had said more then. Her phone finally rang and she answered within a second
"Hiya" Alex said quietly
"Hey...you alright?"
"Will be" Alex sat on a sofa lifting her feet up and resting her chin on her knees
"I'm glad you called" she said softly "I was worried"
"I'm so sorry Yaz"
"Alex...listen"
"Mmmm?"
"Please stop apologizing ...you don't have anything to apologize for. In fact I should be apologizing for making this into a circus buy jumping you like that...I don't know what the fuck possessed me. I'm sorry for making you feel so uncomfortable"
"That's fine...you didn't...I make myself feel that way...Yaz are you sure about this? Because if you're not I understand...I"
"I am...I am absolutely hounded percent sure about this and I would never fuck around with you like that...ever. Those things don't fase me Alex...All I care about is what kind of a person you are and you make me feel the way nobody ever made me feel before"
"I do?"
"Yees...I want more of it....more of you...Don't cry"
"I'm trying...I was so scared...I wasn't playing with you I hope you understand"
"I never thought that for one second...not even for a half of a second. I want this...I really do...Do you?"
"Yes...yes I do...I absolutely do"
"Then we're fine...and we'll figure out everything else in between...That was a beautiful kiss by the way"
Alex smiled wiping her tears "I was giving it my best given the situation"
"Are you saying you can do better than that?" Yaz giggled
"I certainly hope so" she giggled sniffling
"I'll hold you to that" she laughed "Cause that was the best I was ever kissed"
"That was a mess" she laughed
"Iff that was a mess we have no problem" she laughed
"Yaz"
"Mmmm?"
"Thank you"
"For what hun?"
"Just being you"
"Well thank you for being you...because you're beautiful and the most loving, kindest person I've ever met...And don't cry now" she giggled
"I'm really trying not to...I have to go...I need to call my mum she's probably worried about me by now"
"Alright...so I see you tomorrow at ten?"
"Absolutely"
"Alright...night night "
"Night night"
...