It was March and Yaz woke up early. She was excited because this Saturday was the day she went wedding dress shopping with all the women in her family. Telling her nanny that she was marrying a woman was not easy, but after several talks with her mother and father, she finally accepted it. She told Yaz it was just because she was her favorite granddaughter and as long as she didn't watch them kiss, everything was fine. She was probably the only person in Yaz's immediate family that she was extremely concerned about. She would never like to lose her nanny but this was something that Yaz simply couldn't see her accept. And she didn't at first either. The first conversation left Yaz in floods of tears and her nanny sitting next to her looking in the opposite direction.
She came home to Clara crying her soul out. Clara called the whole thing a family circus over humanity's unnecessary obsession with the sexes. Yaz wanted a very small private ceremony and Clara was fine with that. She herself had no family and Yaz although it was appropriate to have something small and intimate. In the end, it was a celebration of their love for each other, not a show for the whole extended family, which would have just created more problems anyway, and Yaz just couldn't deal with that. She had long conversations with Clara and her take on the whole thing helped her immensely. She was the kind of person who just stayed out of it all and didn't really care what other people thought about it. She has said many times that only the two of them are important to her and that she does not depend on anyone else or give monkeys about anyone else either.
Yaz also had a new job. She left police and started working as a security in a local Sainsbury. It wasn't perfect but it gave her more time with Clara and it was temporary thing until she finds something better. It also gave her more time for wedding preparations as well.

Yaz was in a kitchen making tea and having a breakfast watching Clara through the window clearing up the garden. She looked as adorable as always in her little blue trousers that didn't reach and muddy boots. Yaz found it extremely cute and sexy when she wore her white long sleeve top and rolled up her sleeves. She had an absolute obsession with her arms that she very really exposed but when she did it was like a treat for Yaz that she couldn't get enough of. It was silly because she knew and kissed every inch of her body on every day basis but still she liked her little obsession.

"Morning my favourite sexy gardener" Yaz came to the garden with two cups cups of tea

"Hey...How come you're up this early on Saturday?" Clara smiled surprised to see her

"Wedding dress remember"

"Oh...yes...sorry I did forget" she scrunched up her nose "Give me second...I just need to finish this"

She banged in a last nail into the fence then discarded the hammer on the ground wiping her hands into her trousers and walked over to Yaz wrapping fingers around her face kissing her softly like she always would every morning.

"I was just thinking about making a tea. You read my mind Yaz"

"What's with the fence?"

"Badger...He is a stubborn bugger so I will make a hole for him later on. At least he won't brake it every week. So are you exited?"

"I'm dying babe" Yaz said smiling nervously

Clara brushed her thumb over her face "Can't wait to see what you will choose"

"I don't want to go nuts with it...you know something nice but not over the top"

"Choose what ever you want Yaz...you will know when you see it"

"I'll call you"

"You better" she laughed

"Right, fuck...I'm going to be late" she said kissing Clara one more time

"Alright go...Love ya"

"Don't work too much" she said and left

 

....

 

"So did you think about the color?" Sonya asked from the back seat of the car

"Red...definitely red" Yaz said smiling

"Mmm...gold would suit you as well you know"

"I don't want to go overboard Sonya it's only going to be you lot, gold is for big weddings"

"I still think you could have found a nice man Yaz" nanny said from the back

"Nanny please" Yaz said frowning

"Clara is nice woman...and they are happy together. That's all that matters" Nadjia commented "And can we please all agree on this once and for all mum. My daughter deserves to be happy finally. So can we not have a family drama at least today"

"I want Yaz to be happy. I never said I didn't. So what is she going to wear Yaz?" Umbreen said clearly confused with a matter

"She normally wears suits so probably a suit nanny. But we did talk about more traditional options as well. I don't know...but definitely not a dress"

"Does she ever wear a dress?"

"No nanny she doesn't...Does it really matter?" she frowned

Sonya rolled her eyes and couldn't keep her mouth shut no more "You do know women wear man's clothing for centuries now nanny and you do actually know that boys used to wear dresses like fifty years ago...in fact there was no difference between clothes for boys and girls when they were toddlers until early 20th century" Sonya added making a point of how utterly ridiculous this conversation was in her mind. She loved Clara's style and knew just how much her sister was obsessed with it as well. She also wanted this to be her sister's happy day not the one where she will have to listen for a whole day how she's marring a woman.

They were finally at the store and Yaz's brain was bursting with choices. She was slowly getting lost, and she started to panic. But to her surprise, her nanny suddenly took complete control and made the woman take out all the red dresses. She also knew the small details in the quality of the design and was practically rude to the shop owner in expressing her opinion about it. Yaz stood in the dressing room dressed from head to toe in a stunning red dress beautifully embroidered with gold. She felt her chin wobble and her eyes fill with tears.

"You look like a dream sweetheart," Nadjia peered through the fabric of the dressing room, and Yaz fell to pieces.

"Mum" she turned around and tears rolled down her cheeks

"Hey darling" Nadjia placed her palm on her cheek gently "I think you found the one" she smiled gently

"It's expensive"

Clara was buying a gown and her parents paying for the wedding. It was an agreement they finally came to after a month of going back and forth and Clara not understanding why anyone would be paying for her wedding.

"Wanna give her a call?" her mum said stroking her face gently. Her eyes filling with tears as well seeing her daughter dressed like this.

"Yeah" she smiled through tears

"Soo did you find it?" Clara asked straight away before Yaz even said anything

"It's like dream love but it's expensive"

"I didn't ask you about the price Yasmin I asked you iff you like it?"

"I do love"

"Than tell them I'll come and settle it on Monday. Can I see it?"

"Nooo silly you can't it's bad luck" she giggled still crying

"Arrrhh...alright then. Guess I'll have to wait then" she said disappointed

"Oh,  mum wants to talk to you. I love you"

"I love you too"

"Clara honey"

"Hi Nadjia...How does she look?" Clara aksed excited

"She is absolutely gorgeous. But when you come to pay you should have a look maybe for yourself they have beautiful stuff"

"Thank you Nadjia. I will definitely consider it. She's like a dream isn't she?"

"Yeees she looks a dream love...you will see in time" she laughed "Bye darling"

"Come ooon Yaz let us see it" Sonya was jumping exited outside

Yaz came out and everyone just started getting really emotional. Even her nanny wiped her ters.

"Yaz OMG...girl you look amazing" Sonya said through tears

"You do look very pretty love" her nanny came up to her and kissed her cheek

"But this is way to big on her and it will have to be adjusted" she turned to the shop owner "I trust you will do a good job on it"

"Yes of course mam. It takes two weeks for adjustments"

"That's fine, my wedding isn't till June" Yaz said

 

....

 

It was almost four o'clock when Yaz parked the car in front of the house. She parked in a garage and took shopping bags out. Clara wasn't in the garden but her tools were still on the ground.

"Darling...I'm back" she yelled but there was no response

Suddenly as she was walking towards the back door towards the kitchen, she saw blood on the patio, first she thought it was red paint, then she realized when she got closer, there was a trail of blood on the stone tiles. Her legs went and she dropped the shopping. She felt her body break out into a cold sweat and her mind go blank.

"Clara!!!" she yelled and ran into the kitchen

"Don't panic it's nothing" Clara stood above the kitchen sink with her hand underneath the tap. The floor was covered in blood and so was Clara

"OMFG...Clara..." she walked closer and saw a huge gash on her arm, a cut literally from her wrist all the way to her elbow "Fuuuuck!!!!"

"Don't panic it's fine it's just a cut"

"Cut?...Fuck Clara...no that's not just a cut what the fuck...how?"

"Chainsaw I tripped. Get me that kitchen towel" she nods with her head

"Chainsaw!!!!! I have to tie up that arm to stop the bleeding" she grabbed the cloth and tore the belt of her pants "You need to go to the hospital" she said trying to tie up the arm

"Noo!" Clara yelled "It's fine" she put the belt on the kitchen top

"Don't be stupid...I'm calling the ambulance"

"Yasmin you're not...put that phone down!!" she yelled at Yaz quite harshly

Yaz looked at her confused phone already on a dial. Clara took her hand out of the sink and wrapped the kitchen cloth over the wound. Yaz almost threw up on a floor seeing how massive and deep it was.

"Clara you need a doctor. What the fuck are you doing? Put the hand up you're gonna blead out. I'm calling the ambulance" Yaz was shaking trying to dial the number basically ignoring what she was saying.

Clara tilted her head and pursed her lips "Yasmin!!!" she shouted quite loud "Look!!!!" she lifts her hand and her palm was glowing orange light "It's fine it will heal in an hour" she said calmer

Yaz dropped the phone staring at her shiny palm. It was as if someone had turned on a light under her skin. Her brain instantly froze paralyzed, yet she had questions but felt empty and scared. Clara lowered her hand and reached her other arm around Yaza's shoulders, pulling her to her chest.

"I'll be fine, I promise. I love you," she kissed her head while holding her to her chest and was saying something, but Yaz couldn't hear it. She was looking at her hand. The kitchen towel fell on the bloody floor. The huge cut on her arm was no longer bleeding, and an orange haze was swirling around her entire arm. She didn't know what to think. Her mind was still blank as if someone had stopped time. Then the mist disappeared and the wound looked like it was days old. Yaz pulled back, staring into Clara's eyes that were looking back at her

"Yaz?" she said quietly. It was more of question than a statement and Yaz knew she was looking for some sort of reaction but she had none in her to give. Instead she lowered her gaze to the floor at all the blood on white tiles. It was now smeared from their shoes. It was Clara's blood on that floor and seeing it made her stomach turn inside out. She picked up the cloth and went down on her hands and knees wiping it but it was just smearing even more.

"Yaz? Please stop doing that" Clara bent down but Yaz ignored her mopping the floor without saying a word. She saw a tear falling on the tile and she grabbed her shoulders "Yaz please talk to me" she picked her up and looked at her scared. She had no idea what to expect and could see that Yaz was in complete shock.

"Just hold me…" Yaz whimpered and Clara sighed in relief as she pressed her against her chest

"Everything will be fine. I love you very much" she kissed her head and ran her fingers through her hair holding her tight. Yaz broke down crying, tears rolling down her neck, Clara felt them trailing down her skin and her clutches his shirt with his hands.

They haven't said anything for nearly an hour. Left the kitchen in a complete mess and just layed on a sofa in silence. Clara was cuddling her, running hand down her back and kissed her head numerous times.
Yaz was listening to her hearts and tracing her finger over the scar on her hand that was healing by the minute. She had no logical explanation for anything that she just witnessed but at this point she wasn't looking for one either. She was just relieved Clara was fine.

"Doeas it hurt?" she asked kissing it softly

"Not anymore" she smiled kissing the crown of her head once more

"I should clean up the kitchen" she said quietly and looked up meeting Clara's gaze

"No you won't. I'll do that" she said quietly brushing a finger over her forehead and on that little spot between her eyebrows she knew always calmed Yaz. She was scared and anxious and kept waiting for Yaz to start asking questions that never came in a past hour.

"I love you Yaz, you do know that?"

"Is that a question or statement?"

"Both"

Yaz shifted and sat on her running hands over her chest then smiled lightly. And that smile made Clara feel like a ton of bricks fell off her shoulders "I will always love you...even though you do glow...Besides I just chose my wedding dress today and it's way to pretty to give it back" she smiled and bend down kissing her

"I'm so sorry Yaz" she ran her thumb over her cheek gently

She lifted her eyebrow "For what? Getting your arm almost chopped off, scaring the fucking shit out of me or that thing we still need to talk about?"

"All of the above...and more" she had the softest face and eyes filled with fear.

But all Yaz wanted now was to feel her hands. All she was thinking about now was how she was relieved Clara was fine and safe. She really didn't care about anything else. Which she probably should because any other normal person would. In fact most of the normal people would have milion questions in their head, and she did but in her mind it could wait. The most important thing was that they were in this together, what ever this thing was, which Yaz had somehow already come to a conclusion in the last hour, and it was so out of the normal parameters that her brain couldn't handle it right now. She only cared about her and Clara and that she was okay and that they were okay. Because what ever this thing was, she was ready to take it on and wasn't going to let her go anyway. So it could wait.

"You know what I want?" Yaz said tucking her hair behind her ear

"I'll do what ever you want"

"I want us to clean up that mess and that shopping I dropped outside. And I want us to cook the most wonderful meal together. Then we'll sit on the sofa watching a movie and somewhere in between or after I want to make love to the most beautiful woman I love with all my heart. Because I refuse to let any of this crap ruin today. And everything else can wait. And you know why?"

"No Yasmin Khan...I don't" she said with tears in her eyes brushing her thumb over her face

"Because we have a whole life to figure it out together. So we can start tomorrow" she smiled and Clara was swallowing marbles by this point gazing at her not believing what is coming out of her mouth. She pulled her for kiss deep and passionate. One of those that made Yaz stop breathing for a moment and make her fly to the stars

They did just that. Cleaned up the whole kitchen including the patio and picked up battered shopping from outside. Clara was unusually quite and Yaz unmistakably knew why. She could see she was walking on egg shells and for a while she didn't say anything but now the kitchen was clean she decided to brake the silence so she came up to her pulling her braces and rubbing her face into her chest

"Hey you" Clara threaded her fingers into her hair

"Hey yourself" she kissed her neck and trailed her hands at the back of it "Let's take a shower ha? We both need one"

She took her arm and was once again shocked to see that it was almost healed completely. And at this point she didn't give monkeys how, she was just happy that it was. So she pressed her lips to the inside of her wrist and then gazed at her eyes that made her get lost in them. "I really fuckin love you my beautiful light bulb" it made Clara chuckle

"Light bulb Yaz?" she brushed her hair with her hand but what she really wanted to do is crush her in her arms from love she felt for her. She picked her up and popped her on a kitchen top "You are amazing human being Yaz"

"And you're amazing alien...That's what you are right? Either that or I'm seriously tripping on something"

Clara craned her neck laughing "You're not tripping Yaz"

"I don't really give a fuck what you are I still love you and I'm marring you"

Clara couldn't stop laughing. Out of all the scenarios she ever had in her head about this conversation, this was never on the menu. "I would like that Yaz" she looked up at her

"You're not gonna fuck off now right? And leave me? And go to where ever it is that you come from" her eyes filled with tears

"No potty mouth. Don't cry...I'm not going to leave you ever as long as you breathe. Besides I would miss that dirty mouth of yours"

"Good...then we have a deal. We can sort out all the rest as we go along. Cause my brain is exploding and I really can't think now" she slumped her head on her shoulder "The dress is beautiful by the way. I was gonna tell you all about it"

"I can't wait to see you in it Yaz. Come on let's take a shower and you can tell me everything" she scooped her up and took her upstairs...

 

….

 

 

The lights of the bedroom were dimmed and the towels from their shower left scattered on the floor together with dirty clothes covered in blood they discarded on one pile.
Yaz moaned into her lips quietly stroking hair at the back of her neck then ran her hand down her chest and trailing it over her waist and down her sides feeling her muscles move underneath her skin as her hips were rolling over her in steady pace, her waight pressing her into mattress gliding over her like through the water.
Clara trailed her hand down the side of Yaz's leg slumped over her hip and wrapped fingers around her neck, running her thumb over her lips looking at her closing her beautiful brown eyes getting lost underneath her. She needed her today more than air in her lounges. Needed to see her face as she was drifting away taken by the passion. She had to feel her underneath herself warm and soft melting in her arms and under her touch.

They were both trying to forget what happened earlier. Both knowing they will have to address it but now they needed each other more. The shower washed the blood but also fear, fear they both had of loosing each other in one way or another.

She kissed her hard, deep, passionate and raw sucking the air out her lungs is what Yaz needed and Clara was giving this to her. She would give her the stars from the sky if she could tonight. Yaz grabbed her hip pulling her closer moving with her in a steady rhythm, feeling her lips trailing down her neck and over her face capturing her lips

"Fly for me" Clara said gazing into her eyes and pressed her wrist into the pillow

Yaz moaned loudly and Clara swallowed her wimpers feeling her shuddere underneath her

"Don't stop" Yaz whispered into her lips breathlessly grabbing the back of her neck "I want to feel you come apart on me" she kissed her hard depending the kiss wrapping fingers around Clara's face and pulling her hips onto herself

"Shoot" Clara craned her head leaning on Yaz's  shoulder breathing deeply into it, her cheeks blushed and hot hair sticking to her face, she felt her thighs tremble hands clenching the the pillow each side of her head

Yaz stroke gently the nape of neck "I really fuckin love you" Yaz said into her lips kissing her messy "You're so beautiful like that...I love to feel you like this" she kissed her softly

"I could die like this Yaz and I'll be happy"

"I bet you would" she giggled moving hair from her face kissing her "But please don't"

Clara slumped on the mattress next to her and looked at her smiling still trying to catch a breath "I need water" she scrunched her face "...and food food" she laughed

"I'm not surprised you do" Yaz slumped on her chest kissing her "that was hard work you did there" she giggled.

Clara pushed her playfully putting her palm over her face  "You cheeky bugger"

"I have a battered microwave dinner"

"Fine with me" she looked at her smiling "I really love you"

"You better after what you put me through today. And we are getting a gardener...Just so you know"

"I just slipped...the ladder was wet from the rain last night"

"I don't care!!...You scared the ficking shit out of me"

"I'm so sorry Yaz...I know I did" she kissed her head and pulled the covers over them

"I'm just happy your ok....I can't imagine losing you" she kissed her chest snuggling up

"You're not darling...It takes a lot more to get rid of me belive me"

"I'm not interested how much more...I just need a cuddle"

"Me to Yaz...And food...and water"

"We have squished lasagna...five minutes in the oven"

"Perfect" she smiled and kissed her head

"And I can get you water when I can walk again" she giggled