'

 

 

 

Clara got up much earlier. She had been up since six in the morning. The small radio in Tardis kitchen played music as she put on the kettle for a tea and decided to make an omelet for breakfast. She was always good at omelets. It was one thing she loved to do and over time she perfected it. She remembered that Ace loved them and that brought a smile to her face. The kitchen was nicely cleaned, and the cupboards were again full of food. There was also a new message on the fridge door

"Thank you for the lovely breakfast. Love ya xx"

It was short and sweet, but as soon as she saw it stuck to the refrigerator door, her hearts melted. She tapped barefoot in nothing but underwear and an oversized cotton top with long sleeves. The Tardis was finally nice and warm, and the underfloor heating was on full blast. Even though it was almost the end of June, the ship was always cold inside after not being used for a while and it took more than a day to warm up again. She scrambled some eggs and chopped onions and tomatoes while humming a tune from the radio. Then the Tardis hummed, and she looked up. Leaving everything on the kitchen counter she ran to the console as fast as she could, turning the monitor, then looked down the hall worried that Yaz might enter. A message popped up in Gallifreyan and her hearts skipped a beat. She smiled and typed a reply pressing send and craned her neck over the console. There would come a time when he would have to say something, but that time was definitely not today so she tapped her way back into the kitchen and glanced over the refrigerator door with a smile, then resumed her breakfast.

"Morning" Yaz peaked from the door.

"Wooooow...I think will have snow today Yaz" she turned towards her smiling

"Whaaa?"

"Well, you got up by yourself at this hour... something strange is happening for sure" she grinned

"You silly sod" she came up behind her and slipped her arms around her kissing her shoulder blade "That smells nice" she said and reach over for a slice of tomato

"Mmmm...I fancied some omelet" she said and kissed her over the shoulder

Yaz took the plates and put them on a counter. She was still half asleep but really looking forward to going with Clara to her lecture. It was why she was able to get up so early as she was worried Clara will just leave her to sleep.

"Juice?" Yaz asked opening the fridge

"Yes please...aaaaa...love the note....I was so chuffed when I saw it"
Yaz leaned over and kissed her cheek lovingly as she put the glass of juice on a counter

She sat at the bar and for a moment had the strangest thought "I was just thinking how every morning I sit in a kitchen and look at the Tardis through the window. Been doing this since I've met you...and now I'm sitting inside the Tardis having a breakfast...that's just crazy"

Clara smiled, it warmed her heart so much that Yaz loved the Tardis and felt such a strong connection to it despite losing all her memories. It was so amazing that the special bond she had with her was never broken. "Exiting, right?" she smiled and placed the plate in front of her kissing her forehead "A very special omelet for you ma'am" she giggled and sat opposite her

"So what's the plan for today?"

"Dunno...I'll have it by the time I finish with the lecture...mmm...Jack might be coming this evening"

"Oh is he?...I like Jack"

"I've been worried about him, he called me yesterday I was so relieved"

"Jenny called, she is actually coming on Thursday evening. I dunno if you wanna go with me. I'm meeting her in Italian restaurant close to her hotel"

"I'll see Yaz, depends on my work. I'd love to but I have a lot to do and also some stuff around the Tardis.  My Artron energy detector is seriously glitching and that's not good...in fact that's never a good thing. But you go...have fun...you need fun Yaz. You've been in a house for weeks"

"Alright babe."

….

"The expansion of the universe" Clara wrote on a board in big letters "It is the increase in distance between any two given gravitationally unbound parts of the observable universe with time. It is an intrinsic expansion whereby the scale of space itself changes. The universe does not expand into anything and does not require space to exist outside it" she kept drawing on the board.

"And what causes the universe to expand you asked....The energy from the Big Bang drove the universe's early expansion. Since then, gravity and dark energy have engaged in a cosmic tug of war" she waived her hands explaining passionately pacing from one end of the stage to the other and Yaz enjoyed in every single second of it. There was this energy coming out of Clara when she got deep into the lecture that was so intoxicating.  And she could see she wasn't the only one who felt it as you couldn't hear a pin drop in a massive lecture hall.

"Gravity pulls galaxies closer together...dark energy pushes them apart....Whether the universe is expanding or contracting depends on which force dominates, gravity or dark energy....Interesting dynamics isn't it?" she smiled..."Any questions?"

Yaz raised her hand sheepishly and Clara smiled "Aaaaaa...yes the beautiful lady at the back"

"Will universe continue to expand forever?"

"Good question Yaz" she grinned proudly "By the way that's my future wife. I don't share such intimate compliments to strangers"

Everyone started laughing and Yaz blushed momentarily regretting raising her hand as all eyes were on her now which was way more attention than she ever wanted

"Yes...The Universe will expand forever...If the mean density is less than the critical density, then there is insufficient mass within the universe to stop the expansion as a result the universe will expand forever. Ultimately, the galaxies will move increasingly further apart until the big rip....Where you are now...where you're sitting right at this moment in this building is one corner of one country, in one continent, on one planet that's a corner of one galaxy that's a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and destroying.... And never reaming the same for single millisecond...it's brilliant isn't it?"

The bell rang and she smiled "Well, we continue on Tuesday so save any questions, which I guess you have loads, and have a very lovely Sunday"

Yaz stood up and waited on the side of the stage while some students came up to the stage and asked Clara some questions and handed her some papers that Yaz had no idea what they were. Then Clara hopped down the stairs smiling happily

"Hey lovely" she kissed her temple "See you had a nice time"

"I can listen to you forever...though I don't understand some stuff and it gets a bit confusing"

"That's alright...you can always ask me more Yaz"

"I definitely will" she smiled

"I'm starving...lunch?" she grabbed her hand

"Oh yeah"

…

 

"I fancy some nice pasta" Yaz said looking at the menu

They sat down in a small restaurant near the university. It was such a hot day that Yaz felt seriously overdressed leaving her cardigan on the chair. The morning was very crisp when they left but as it was almost noon the sun was strong and even Clara rolled up her shirt sleeves resulting in Yaz staring at her beautiful hands feeling like a complete idiot. She literally knew every inch of her body and yet she continued to stare at her like an uncontrollable teenage crush. Sometimes she wondered if Clara felt the same and never spoke about it. Clara was different and expressed most of what she felt in a much more subtle way, especially when they were in public. Although in private she felt like her hands were on her all the time, which was an amazing feeling and one she would never tire of

"Yaz…" she called her for the second time

"Mmmm...ha...yes?"

"Where are you?"

"You don't wanna know..." she giggled "Yes...sorry"

Clara raised her eyebrows then shook her head smiling "Tagliatelle with chicken in a dill sauce?"

"Yes perfect....that sounds yummy"

"It does....I used to hate dill...I thought it was prickly"

"Prickly?...Hooow?" she laughed

"Oh, you know...felt really strange in my mouth...and it was really a weird feeling like eating a bunch of grass...it does look like a grass sauce"

Yaz rolled her eyes laughing "You silly goof"

"I have a plan for today"

"You do?"

"Yes...I saw this really cute exhibition in a small gallery. It's very steampunk Jules Verne...I thought it might be fun for us to see"

"I'd like that" said as Clara was ordering their food

"Oh, and can I have a glass of milk please" she said to the waitresses leaving her confused

"Yes of course madam"

"It's prickly...." she continued to explain to the ever more confused waitresses who just nodded whiles Yaz pissed herself laughing

"Briliant...thanks" she said happily and turned her attention to Yaz "What?"

"You confused her" she giggled

"Can't help it Yaz...anyway...look" she searched her phone then put it on a table "Isn't that fantastic?" she showed photos of the exhibition

"Did you ever meet him?"

"Meet who Yaz?"

"Jules Vern?"

"Oh, yeah...brilliant mind Yaz...such a visionary. He truly believed that all his stories are a thing of the future. And he was so right"

"I just find it so amazing how many people you met...things you saw..." she took a deep sight "I wish I could see half of that" she said dreamy looking down at her phone

Her words choked Clara for a moment as she desperately wished she could show her. She wanted so much to share it all with her and take her to all the amazing places like she used to. She felt sadness mixed with anger that someone out there had the ability to destroy everything they both held so close to their hearts. She hated the fact that someone had so much power over her life that in one day they crushed all their dreams, erased everything they had both built like it never existed. Deleted, that's what it felt like. It was as if a large and the
most important part of her life had been erased from existence. And there was a part of her that she tried to suppress, a part of her that wanted to do the same to them. Delete them, wipe them from the face of the universe until not even a single trace of them is left and nobody can even remember their name. It was a dangerous urge that bordered on a revenge. And the vengeance of a Time Lord was never a good thing to feel. But she did feel it brewing inside her each time she looked at Yaz's beautiful big eyes frightened, each time she was in pain and each time she woke up screaming at night from nightmares there were never ending, each time Clara glanced at the door of their old room inside the Tarids thinking of a life that was lost. The through was there getting born during sleepless endless nights of loneliness and sadness when her tears have dried out on her cheeks and she had no more to shed and when her hearts were missing part of their beat as a part of them was torn from her chest, when her grief was turning into rage which tore at the very fabric of her soul.

"Clara...are you alright?" Yaz asked as her eyes were endlessly wondering across her shoulder into the distance

"Ha...huh…sorry darling...must've drifted off for a bit there...What were you saying?"

"I can't wait for the exhibition," she smiled so cutely with small dimples appearing on her cheeks that Clara felt as if her energy instantly calmed her anger

"Oh, we gonna have a lovely time Yaz" she smiled "Aaaaa food finally"

….

 

They walked inside the little gallery to find it being quite empty, apart from few people wondering about. Mostly students with backpacks, tourists from some other countries who spoke different languages. Clara flew in excited like a child. Hunched over the exhibits, going around each one looking and observing them from all sides.

"Aaaaaa Yaz....look at that...Leonardo da Vinci ornithopter or better known as the flying machine"

"That's cool" Yaz said looking through the glass "How did ir work?" she asked glancing at Clara sideways

"The pilot would lie face down in the center of the invention on a board. To power the wings, the pilot would pedal a crank connected to a rod-and-pulley system...see right there that thing. The machine also had a hand crank for increased energy output, and a head piece for steering. As the pilot would spin cranks with his hands and feet, the wings of the machine flap"

"Waaaaew...but it never worked did it?"

"No, unfortunately it never did for him....a person could never have created enough power to get the device off the ground....But still amazing isn't it...His vision is the basis for every flying machine out there"

"It is....it's a shame he never saw it fly. Could you imagine how exited he would've been to know what his inventions changed"

Clara's phone rang and she picked it up stepping to the corner of the room leaving Yaz in front of the display. She bend over to take a better  look at all the tiny details and there were fascinating.

"Hey butterfly...Jack is on a way...Sorry darling but we have to leave"

"That's alright...we already made three circles around" she giggled

She didn't notice that they had been inside for nearly two hours, and the day went by rather quickly. Between the lecture, lunch, and the exhibition, it was almost six in the evening and her leg started to hurt again. So, she wasn't too upset about going home.

…

Yaz spent most of the evening lying on the sofa in the library, with her legs in the air and texting on her phone while Clara and Jack chatted on the other sofa. She left them to it and was happy enough that this time Clara was free to talk about the case they were working on and a whole other bunch of them randomly joking around with each other and clearly enjoying themselves. She knew how important Jack was in Clara's life and how rarely she the opportunity to see him. Only this incident brought them back together after a very long time, so she left them to enjoy each other's company. Evening passed quickly and before she knew it was already close to midnight when Jack was leaving.

"So, see you soon and just so you know, I'm still deeply hurt for not being your best man" he said to Clara kissing her forehead

"Jack I would never get rid of you iff you were..."

"See, told you Yaz...she's always trying to get rid of me"

"Go Jack..." she pushed him towards the door laughing

As Jack left they were both still laughing. Clara went over to the console and dropped the papers he gave her on top of it.

"He's seriously crazy"

"He always was" Clara said "But I do love Jack, he thinks with his heart and it's rare"

Someone knocked on the door and Clara turned on her heel rolling her eyes laughing "What did you forget?" she opened the door and the smile vanished from her face as the stranger at the door of the Tardis sent a powerful electrical charge into her chest. She fell to the floor to Yaz's absolute horror.

"Claraaa!" she shouted and wanted to run towards her, but the two men stepped over her and ran after Yaz. She turned and ran as fast as she could, forgetting about the pain she felt as if someone was tearing her leg from the inside out and ran towards their room.

"Where did she go? And why are the doors disappearing?" one of the men turned to the other one confused "What is this place?"
Tardis hummed and shut down the lights but kept them for Yaz as she ran towards the room

"There she is!" he pointed at her disappear around the corner of a long dark corridor "You sort out the other one...this one is mine" he said and ran after Yaz

The door appeared next to her and as she was about to ran inside something jilted her backwards with incredible force. The man caught up with her and grabbed her by the hair, slamming her against the wall.

"Where do you think you're going little one?" his rasp voice spoke in her ear as he held her by the hair pressing her cheek against the wall. She felt vibrations of the Tardis on her skin going through her whole body

"Help me" she said

"Nobody is going to help you this time" he said pressing his weight on her but when his elbow touched the wall, he was met with a strong electrical charge from the Tardis and he let her go.

"Tardis will you wanker!" she smiled as she turned around and used her chance to kick him in groin then ran to the room but before the door disappeared the man got inside in spite the pain she just inflicted on him

The other man stumbled through the dark corridors utterly lost. Cursing the whole way. The moment he would see the door and went for it, it disappeared as soon he reached it and the hallway seemed longer and never ending.

Clara regained her composure as the cloister bell woke her up, her vision still blurred, and she tried desperately to get to her feet, grabbing onto the bars of the stair railing, but she couldn't get up. The pain in her chest was so bad she felt like she was losing her concussion. She stumbled and crawled over to the console grabbing anything she could to get up and frantically looking for something on the control panel until she grabbed the application gun from the med station shooting herself in the neck.

"Yaaaz!" she shouted in shaky voice and shook her head trying to keep herself present, stumbling towards the stairs. She heard the Tardis door slam open and turned

"Jack! Oh Jack its so good to see you"

"Doctor!!" he ran towards her "I'm fine...Yaz" she waived her hand holding on to the rail with the other trying to get up


"I will shoot you...step back!" Yaz said pointing a gun at the man

"Wooooow" he raised his hands in the air "Now calm down little one...you don't want me to hurt you" he kept walking towards her

"Step back....I'm not fucking joking I will shoot"

"Your girlfriend doesn't use guns" he smirked moving more towards her

"No, she doesn't...but I do" she said "Stop moving sir!"

"Right...enough of this...it's not even a real gun" he reached out for his weapon and Yaz fired. She fired once and closed her eyes as the man fell to the ground in front of her. She never used the weapon before although she was trained how to. But training and shooting were two very different things. She looked to the ground in wordless gasp and only one thought snapped her out of her horror...Clara

Jack took out his gun and was walking down the hall when a gunshot rang out around the corner so he ran towards it.

To her absolute horror Clara also heard the gunshots from down the long hallway and felt the blood drain out of her face "Yaz! No, no, no this isn't happening...aaaaarrrhhh come on limbs walk...Yaz!" Clara dragged herself up to the hallway but her body wasn't listening and she panted from pain ripping through her chest like thousand knives spreading down to her arms all the way to the tips of her fingers

The other man saw the door and ran towards it. He opened it up and carefully went into the dark room. The door shut behind him and as he ran towards it, it vanished into a thin air. He was frantically tapping his hands on the walls in dark trying to find his way out. "What is this place....heeeey somebody get me out!" he shouted "Helooo anyone...Fucking ship" he said and electrical charge hit his hands hard enough to throw him few steps back "Aaaaa...fuck!!" he cried out

Yaz came out of the bedroom with a messy hair falling down her shoulders and the gun still in her hand. Lights came up and Jack ran towards her

"Clara!" she asked frantically

"She's fine" Jack passed next to her quickly and saw a man on the floor "She's down the hallway" he nodded

"There's one more...there were two men Jack" she said grabbing his sleeve "Be careful"

As she left to find Clara Jack herd screaming behind the wall. He laughed and shook his head.

"Claaara!!!" Yaz ran down the hallway limping on her aching leg seeing her stumbling holding herself for the walls and holding her hand against her chest "Baby!" Yaz shouted and sped up

"Yaz...stars Yaz.." she grabbed on to her sleeve slopping them both to the floor "I'm fine, I'm fine...Just a wobble...Yaz are you.." she was grabbing for her in panic

"I'm fine baby...I'm fine...I though...I.."

"Nooo Yaz.. can't get rid of me that easy" she laughed a bit "My hearts might need rebooting a bit though...I'll be fine" she said as Yaz kissed her temple squeezing her in her arms "It's alright butterfly...You did so well Yaz..."

"I shot him...I killed him Clara I killed a person" she started crying

"Nooo..." Clara wrapped her shaking fingers around her face "Tranquillizers I adapted the gun"

"Whaaaa?"

"Told you butterfly, I don't kill people you just knocked him out" she smiled in pain "Aaaarrrhhh" she grabbed her chest

"What's wrong...speak to meee"

"It's alright...Well, that was a lot of voltage Yaz...I'm sure enough to power half of the city" she smiled as her face was cramping in pain and Yaz could see burnt black marks on her white shirt

"That's not funny"

"I'll be fine...Jack...how did you know?" she asked looking up at him over her shoulder getting up

"Tardis called me"

"Aaa cleaver." she smiled then stopped "Wait a minute...Did you just say Tardis called you?" she frowned confused holding on to Yaz

"Yeah...got a call shortly after I left it said Tardis SOS on a display...look" he showed her the phone laughing

"That's really clever...Help me Jack" she walked over hunched to the men on a floor and zoomed a sonic over him "Aaa.. good he'll be out for at least another hour"

"The other one is over there" Jack pointed towards the wall laughing

"Oh, well...he's not going anywhere any time soon" Clara smiled "You think I should keep him for a while?" she said and the man screamed from the other side "Neah on a second thought I need a good night sleep....that's way too loud...arrrh" she cried out in pain still holding on to Yaz "Come ooon body reboot I need you"

"What are you gonna do with them?" Yaz asked confused and still in shock

"You do still have that oven downstairs Doctor?" Jack turned to Clara

"Sure....haven't used in a while though...not from that New York gang incident" she said going through the mans pockets and took out a small black plate out. "It was very useful at the time, but I need to clean it Jack" she ran a sonic over it then shoved it in a pocket of her trousers after reading the scan

"Whaaaa?" Yaz looked at them both horrified

"Got you there" Jack smacks her shoulder laughing "We're calling a UNIT"

"Very funny" Yaz said unimpressed as Jack put handcuffs on a men and Clara was making a call to Kate.

As UNIT took both men away shortly after and Jack talking to them outside Clara walked over to Yaz who was sitting on one of the steps staring at the floor.

"Are you alright?" she sat down next to her and moved a lock of hair from her face

Yaz turned around and her eyes spoke more than words. She was far from alright, shocked, scared and exhausted. "I'm sorry I left"

"Whaaat?" Clara's lip twitched not understanding what she was saying

"When they came in... they started chasing me and I ran"

"Stars Yaz I'm glad you have"

"I shouldn't have"

"Yes.. yes, you should" she took her hand "If you hadn't they would've hurt us both. But they didn't because you stopped them Yaz...you did that not me"

"Tardis did that"

"You both did it together Yaz"

"Then why do I feel like a bag of shit for leaving you?"

"Because sometimes we have to make choices that are hard Yaz. We have to calculate and decide what's best not only for one person but for many more. You did what you had to do to help us both. Though It doesn't make it any easier making those choices"  she moved her hair from her face tucking it behind her ear then pulled her head onto her shoulder kissing her on a side

"I love you" Yaz said taking her hand and lacing their fingers in her lap

"I love you too Yasmin...When did you pack that gun?"

"Did you really think they won't come back?"

"No...no I didn't"

"Well neither did I"

Clara took a deep sigh and kissed the side of her head again "I'm so proud of you"

…

It was almost three in the morning, and Yaz fell asleep with her head in Clara's lap. They sat in a library with Jack, Clara and him talking about everything that happened. She was exhausted in pain and in shock. Clara gave her shot for her leg to ease the pain as now her almost healed leg got serious amount of bashing again and she was no further forward. But at least they were both fine.

"Will you stay?" Clara asked

"If you want me to"

"Then stay...I think it will make her feel better as well if you do" she looked down and stroke her hair

"As brave as she always was"

"I know, right? My brilliant Yaz" she smiled and took a deep breath "If they..."

"They didn't" he cut her off "I still think you should leave"

"Jaaack" she huffed

"I know...but you were lucky ...twice...Just think about that. Don't let your luck run out Doctor. It usually does" he got up with a sigh and walked over to her kissing the top of her head "Sleep tight"

"You too" she looked up and smiled

As he left she looked down at Yaz and ran her fingers through her hair gently "Yaz baby"

"Mmmmwha?" she jolted

"It's fine darling...you fell asleep...let's go to bed" she said

Yaz got up and stumbled "Aaaaaa" she cried out in pain grabbing Clara's shoulder

"Oh darling...come on butterfly hold on to me"

Yaz put her arms around her shoulders and Clara lifted her up "Let's get you to bed ha?" she said and kissed her cheek as Yaz huddled to her

She was falling asleep in her arms as she walked down the hallway. Clara booted the door of their room and laid her on a bed and as she was going to put the covers over her she saw a faint orange haze swirling around Yaz's leg that left her speechless. She looked up and saw she was thankfully already asleep. Combination of stress and medication she had given her was knocking her out. The fear had risen inside her as she was petrified of what this meant and what the final result will be. Inevitability of the situation was hitting her right in a face and realization that there was no more running away from this. She ran her sonic over her and clenched her jaw then brushed her hand over her leg and she did so her own hand shined like a light bulb. She had no idea what it meant and thought scared her even more. As quickly as it appeared the haze had disappeared so she pulled the covers over her and ran her finger over her cheek.
She ley behind her and slipped her hand underneath the top of her pajamas pressing her hand between her breasts to her heart and tucked her face into her neck.

"Mmmmloveya" Yaz mumbled and wiggled her bum closer to her

Clara couldn't sleep as thoughts rushed through her head millions of miles an hour. She kept awake for hours until she fell asleep out of pure exhaustion.
She woke up early having no more than an hour of sleep and slipped her hand into Yaz's pajamas palming her warm soft tummy and tucked her face in a nape of her neck. There was nothing better than the smell of her hair and her soft skin against her own in the morning. Feeling her breathing underneath her hand and the way she would sleepily react to her touch tucking herself closer. She didn't want to leave but she had to. Jack agreed to stay with her after last night although as long as she was inside the Tardis, she was safe. Unless she opened the door willingly like Clara rather stupidly did last night. Something she would normally never do. She kept thinking how they must have followed Jack lurking around the corner waiting for the opportunity. How it was all a part of the plan. Which ultimately meant they know everything. It was bothering her, but she pushed it away for at least this moment in time to sink herself into Yaz with every cell in her body.

"Morning" Yaz said with a yawn and stretched herself turning around then draped her arms around Clara's shoulders

"Morning beautiful" she smiled "It's early...sleep more. I have to leave...I won't be long"

"Why?...Where are you going?...You said no lecture today" she said sadly playing with the hair at the back of Clara's neck

"Those men from last night. Before they are transported to London to the UNIT I want to see them Yaz"

She sighed deeply "I'm going with you"

"Noo butterfly, please stay here. I don't want you near that anymore"

"Claaara...I wanna be there for you"

"And you are...in ways I want you to be...like this now" she said running her hand down the curve of her waist and over her hip underneath the covers

"I wanna do more"

"And you will Yaz...with time...but not now. Please darling"

She sighed deeply her eyes wondering around Clara's face then she smiled a little and leaned over until their lips almost touched "You're impossible...You know that?"

"I do" she smiled kissing her short rubbing their noses together "But you wouldn't have me any other way" she said and kissed her again

"And you're cheeky on top of it" Yaz said and kissed her deeply. She kept kissing her whimpering into her lips as Clara's hands began to roam around her pulling her closer and slipping under her pajamas. She shifted pulling her top off and throwing it to the floor then took Clara's hands laying them on her breast with a smile that soon turned into moan as her hands got busy gliding down from her neck over her every curve maneuvering her underneath herself.

"C'mere you" Clara smiled pulling her into a kiss that stole the breath out of her lounges. The fire burst behind her autumn eyes and with every move she made it was burning a stronger flame. She kissed her hard and passionate slipping her hand inside her pajama bottoms in a desperate need to feel her bare skin underneath her hands. Yaz sank into the mattress as Clara caged her kissing her like there's no tomorrow. She grabbed her top and pulled it "Off...get it off" Yaz said desperately making Clara chuckle into her lips and shuffled just enough so Yaz can pull it over her head "Fuck I need you" she panted moving her messy hair from her face tucking it behind her ears and wrapped her legs around her

"Same here" Clara smiled and crushed their lips together running hand down her side and descended down her body sealing her lips to her breast. She wanted to sink into her, drown in her until there was nothing left around them, until everything disappeared, only the two of them existed in this moment of time. She took every part of her under her lips and ran her hands over every curve as Yaz rose from the mattress following her every touch moaning into the air and Clara cherished every sound she made as if it was the most beautiful music in her ears. Yaz squealed pulling her hair and running her hands over her shoulders "Fuck baby please baby" she gently pushed her down and her back ached as the hot air of her lips pressed against her stomach. Clara pulled down her bottoms together with her underwear slinging them across the room and pressed her lips to her mound. Yaz moaned bringing her feet up to her shoulders tugging her hair as her lips kissed the inside of her thighs dancing around where Yaz desperately needed them to go until they were finally there and her hips bucked and her toes curled up at her shoulders as she took her in an almost merciless pace from the start, passionate and almost desperate. Yaz rolled her hips over her lips moaning into the pillow she pulled over her face hoping to god the Tardis didn't hear the desperate sounds leaving her mouth uncontrollably as she sank into the mattress floating somewhere outside of time and space reduced to a whimper until she forgot her own name. She trembled so much that Clara put her hand on her side to keep her still and didn't stop. As if she wanted to fuse them together if that was even humanly possible, she wasn't letting her go. She felt her so deep inside her and with every movement she made, waves of energy poured down her spine, as if all her senses were affected, she felt like never before as her body shuddered again and burning sensation permeating every part of her feeling her in every cell of her body like never before. She dug her nails into Clara's shoulder until she collapsed onto the bed, her fingers still wrapped in Clara's hair went limp. She was breathing fast, her face blushed and her hair sticking to her face as beads of sweat ran down her hairline. Clara kissed the inside of her legs with a smile and shifted up kissing her parted lips. She wrapped her arms loosely around her shoulders, vaguely feeling Clara's weight pressing her into the sheets as she settled between her thighs and nuzzled her face into her neck.

"I really.... fucking love you" she said breathless lazily stroking her hair. Her legs still shaking, trembling against Clara's sides.

"I adore you Yasmin" she said nuzzling her face into her neck and running her fingers gently down the curve of Yaz's waist

Her skin was hot to the touch like it was burning. And Clara felt a tingle under her fingertips that she had never felt before. She knew all too well what that meant, but pushed the thought to the back of her mind and laid next to her resting her head on her hand playing with the curls of Yaz's hair and circling her breast with her fingers.

Yaz's eyes opened and looked at her smiling
"Hey you"

"Hey yourself" she smiled back

"You killed me"

"Told you I will make it up to you" she smuged "How's your leg Yaz?"

"It doesn't hurt...so that shot you gave me works like a charm" she smiled "I thought I completely mullered it last night"

Clara smiled and leaned over kissing her gently "That doesn't mean you can go dancing now"

"I know...I'm just happy it doesn't hurt. I can't take the pain anymore. And your hearts baby?" she ran her hand gently over her chest

"They're fine...rebooted themselves. Doesn't hurt anymore. Stopped last night before we went to bed" she took her hand and kissed her fingertips brushing them over her lips "I'll have to leave butterfly"

"Nooo...but..." she took her hand back and ran it down Clara's stomach

"I don't think you have strength even iff you tried Yaz" Clara smiled and took her hand again

"That's not fair" she pouted her lips

Clara smiled and leaned over kissing her again "It's six in a morning...go back to sleep...You can always make it up to me" she smirked and winked at her

"You bet I will missy"

"Come on darling sleep. You only slept three hours"

"So did you...and you were seriously hurt last night"

"I'm a tough old boot Yaz" she said taking the covers and pulling them over her

"I need a shower" she giggled

"You can have it later....sleep" she kissed her forehead and slipped out of bed. Yaz grabbed her hand not letting it go until she was fully up. She watched her walking towards the bathroom and felt her eyes going heavy. By the time Clara was in a shower she was already fast asleep again.

…

Clara drove far on the outskirts of Oxford deep into the countryside. She had been on the road for almost an hour, with soft music playing on the car radio as she watched the summer fog rise from the fields and the still weak morning sun peeking through the clouds. It looked like it was going to be a rainy summer day and the smell of wet grass filled the car through the slightly open window. She was surprisingly calm this morning with the feel of Yaz's touch still lingering on her skin. She turned off the main road and drove towards the manor house. She drove slowly over the gravel that covered the path towards the house.

A young woman was standing in front of the 18th century house. She didn't know what to expect, but her heart was pounding with excitement knowing that she would finally meet the Doctor. She watched as the black car parked further away and the petite blonde got out of the car. She looked like she had stepped out of the Edwardian era in her brown check trousers with straps pulled over a cream jumper which outlined her tiny frame. She was taken back because it was not at all what she expected.

"Hiya.." Clara smiled "You're June I presume? I'm the Doctor"

"Morning madam, it is my absolute pleasure to finally meet you" the young woman said nervously

"Pleasure is all mine...You seem very nervous June...i assure you nothing to be nervous about" she said following her into the house

"May I ask, how come you didn't come with your Tardis Doctor?"

"Aaaaa left her in a center I gotta do some repairs...loads of mileage and one careless owner" she smiled and the younger woman frowned confused

"Last time I was here was during Edward VII, 1908...great party" she continued going up the stairs "They change the curtains...used to be red" she babbled as the young woman looked at her shocked whiles her brain was trying to process this statement coming from someone who didn't look a day older than 40

"Here we are" she said opening one of the doors and showed her in

"Doctor" the older man approached her

"Thomas....how nice to see you again"

"It's been a while"

"It has...two regenerations" she smiled

"I know ages ago...you changed so much I wouldn't recognized you" he laughed

"Well you just got more grays" she laughed

"Thanks, I'll take that as compliment...Doctor...joke aside...Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"I am very sure I wanna do this"

"They won't talk...we tried"

"I don't expect them to...I just want them to deliver a message"

"Why...why would you let them go after everything?"

"Just trust me Thomas" she said following him down the narrow hallway

"I do trust you...I'm just worried" he said opening the door to a room where two men were held behind the bars

One was sitting on a small chair just staring at the floor and the other one got up and walked towards the the edge of the cage when she walked inside the room

"How's your hearts Doctor?" he said smirking at her

"Fine thanks, I needed them rebooting for a long time" she replied walking closer

"What do you want?"

"I want you to deliver a message to your boss"

"Oh great, can I have phone call?"

"Oh no...I want you to deliver this one in person" she leaned over closer to the bars "Tell them the Doctor is coming...tell them that when I find them, oh and I will find them. I will wipe them from the face of the universe" she said quietly and turned around walking away

He started laughing "I'm shaking...is that it...that's the best you can do after all these years...That's why you came all the way here for? You're pathetic Doctor. You will never find them and we will have her Doctor" he yelled

Clara stopped in the middle of the room, closing her eyes for a moment, then turned and walked quickly towards the cage and grabbed the man's head through the bars "CONTACT" she forced herself into his mind for a split second the images flashed before her she was looking at the lab, the ship, the stars, consolations and planets, rage consuming every cell in her body searching for any information she could find, then she tore herself away. What was she doing, this was not her way. She broke the contract while the man looked petrified straight into her eyes. She retreated in horror at herself. She stepped back and left the room, leaning her back against the door, closing her eyes, trying to calm down, hitting the back of her head against the door.

"Shoot," she said as her chest heaved, and her hearts beat so hard she could feel them deep in her throat.

"Is everything alright Doctor?" Thomas asked worried

"Yeah...yes it is" she pulled herself together

"Now what? What do you want us to do?"

"Release them...then track them down" she pulled a small bottle out of her pocket and threw it to him "Neuro tracker...put it in their next meal"

"Cool" he looked at the little bottle twirling it in his hand

"It will feed information to my Tardis of their every move. They will cover their tracks but eventually they will go where we need them to. I'll let you know"

"It was nice seeing you again Doctor. I hope I see you again"

"For a drink Thomas...I hope not like this" she smiled "Take care of yourself" she waived as she was walking towards the car

When she sat down, she grabbed the steering wheel with trembling hands gripping it tightly, then rested her head on it. "Pull yourself together, Doctor," she said to herself and started the car. As she turned from the house onto the main road she made a call and put it on a loud speaker.

"Hey baby" Yaz's sleepy voice replied

"Hey beautiful...I'm done...coming back"

"Yeeey" she said haply and brought smiled to Clara's face straight away "I'll get up then"

"It's alright Yaz...I have another hour till I get there"

"Blimey where are you? How did it go?"

"I'll tell you when I get home...Hey we can go for a nice lunch...Would you like that?"

"I'd like that very much...see you soon. Love ya"

"Love you too butterfly"
She hang up with a deep sigh and played some music as she drove back.

….

Yaz got up and walked into the kitchen

"Morning...are those lollipops?" she said laughing as Jack stood with his face inside the fridge in his shirt and boxers with big lollipops all over them

"Yazee...morning" he smiled "Fancy some eggs?"

"Yeah sure" she said with a yawn

"How are you doing?"

"Like shit...My head is killing me" she slumped her head on the kitchen top

"You did get quite a bump yesterday. But you did kick their asses"

"It was mostly Tardis if I'm honest. I'd be pretty much fucked if it wasn't for her. Jack...what's going on? Please tell me"

"You want my ass to be kicked as well?" he turned around as he was smashing some eggs

"No... but she won't talk to me"

"She's trying to protect you"

"I can take care of myself Jack and I'm not made out of sugar either. I just want her to let me in...that's all"

"Oh, boy...nothing ever changes with you two" he said putting the plate in front of her

"What does that supposed to mean?" she frowned taking a bite of toasted bread

He finished with their eggs and put the plates on the counter "Listen..." he said as he sat down "She doesn't think you're weak...quite the opposite...it's what worries her"

"Now you're not making any sense"

"You're fearless and persistent and she knows that...Your too much like her. She knows once you're in it's done deal...no going back"

"Yeah but I just wanna help that's all..."

"Yaz...she lost everything she had. Her whole life, dreams, everything came crushing down like a deck of cards. And now she is finally rebuilding all of that, putting her life back together...So she gonna keep you as far away from them as possible and I can't blame her"

"But this will never end Jack and it will drive her insane it already is. She's cracking at seems"

"It will...Doctor never gives up, you have to accept that. It's a part of who she is...it's what makes her good in what she does...and she will get them in the end...But you wanna be there for the Doctor..."

"Yes...yes I do..."

"Then keep yourself safe because she needs you...it's you who is keeping her from falling apart...you always have...she can do the rest herself" he said taking a bite of his food "Juice?"

She sighed deeply "Yes please"

"Cheer up...how many people get to marry the Doctor" he tapped her nose with his finger smiling

"The only problem is I don't see her that way Jack...as the Doctor...for you she may be that but  for me she's just Clara. My frail little Clara that I just wanna protect"

"Then you need to wake up...She is so so much more than what you see. And she isn't frail" he smiled "She may look frail but she just took a charge that can power up this whole town for week straight to her chest and got up after half an hour like nothing happened...She's not a professor of chemistry Yaz...she's the Doctor"

"Hey you two" Clara smiled from the door

"Baby" Yaz got up and ran to her throwing herself into her arms

"Hey butterfly" she kissed her temple "Jack, put some trousers on" she scrunched her face horrified

"Well I didn't think anyone was awake" he got up as Clara walked up to the fridge "Want some breakfast?"

She almost bumped into him as she turned around and put her hand on his chest pushing him away from her space "I do when you put some clothes on...Go Jack...now!" she pointed towards the door and shook her head putting the milk on the counter

Yaz laughed as he ran out and came up to Clara slipping her hands around her waist and kissed her gently "Morning grumpy" she smiled at her

Clara smiled back shaking her head "Unbelievable...How's your leg darling? Let me see your head" she moved the hair from the place where she got hit against the wall last night

"I have no pain" she frowned confused as Clara was checking her head "How's that even possible? I was dying last night"

"Dunno Yaz...but it's good. It must have healed well enough, so you didn't do any serious damage to it last night. And I did give you a strong medication last night as well so any changes or pain or anything, you have to tell me. Your head seems fine" she said and kissed the side of it gently then yawned slumping her head on Yaz's shoulder

"Hey, why don't you eat something and go lie down for a while. You haven't slept at all last night"

"I'm fine Yaz...don't worry. I have some stuff to do but it will only take about hour and a half then we go for lunch" she tapped her bum and then turned to pour herself some milk stealing one piece of toast from Yaz's plate

"Better" Jack comes back to the kitchen smiling

"Mmmm" Clara nodded

"So...tell me how did it go...are they on a way to London?"

"Nope...releasing them tonight"

"I'm sure you didn't just say they are releasing them?"

"Whaaat? Why?" Yaz practically yelled shocked

"Aaaaaa....because they will take us exactly where we want them to...I gave them neuro trackers"

"What's a neuro tracker?" Yaz asked

"Tiny nano implant Yaz that cannot be detected which tracks their every move. It will send all the information straight to the Tardis. Sooner or later they will go to their main base and when they do, we will know exactly where it is"

"And when you do? Then what?" Yaz asked concerned

"Then we go after them Yaz...get it done once and for all" she said putting stuff back in a fridge "Right...What's with the faces?" she looked at Yaz's deflated expression and Jack's worried one "Cheer up both of you" she walked out of the kitchen

"See this is what I'm talking about" Yaz turned to Jack

"It's not such a dumb plan...It could work. As long as she doesn't decide to do it alone"

"Right...so can you please make sure that she doesn't then?"

"Yes mam" he salutes smiling

"Stop that.." she smiles "Also, what's that black plate she got off that guy in my room?"

"No idea Yaz, never seen it before...Don't you go snooping around" he points a finger at her

She raised an eyebrow walking out of the kitchen "You have to do better than that Jack...seriously"

"You will get me in trouble Yaz!!" he shouted from the kitchen

…

Clara stood by the chest of drawers unbuttoning her shirt. She was still shaken from this morning although she did her best to hide it mostly from shame and fear. She herd the door open and turned around.

"Hey baby" Yaz said as she walked inside and Clara reached out her hand without words "What's wrong darling?" she walked over and Clara slumped her head on her shoulder wrapping her hands around her

"Just hold me" she said quietly

"Tell me...please baby"

"I did something horrible today Yaz and I'm not proud of it"

"What did you do darling?"

"Oh Yaz...I feel so sick to my stomach...I never  thought for one minute I'd ever do that to another person"

"What baby" she frowned confused stroking  her hair "What the hell happened?"

"I forced my mind into someone without a permission, I lost it Yaz...He threatened me and I lost control completely...I'm losing my grip Yaz and its scaring me" she looked up to her big brown eyes looking petrified "I can't lose myself Yaz...I have to keep it together...I'm so close now so close"

"Oh baby" she ran her hand over her cheek and Clara leaned into her palm "Darling we're in this together ok...you won't lose yourself I promise...I won't let that happen"

"Oh Yaz...you don't understand"

"I do understand...I'm looking  at it since I've met you...Just because I keep quite doesn't mean I don't have eyes...But you need to stop being so scared darling. You're losing it because you're allowing your fear to take over"

"I can't lose this again Yaz...I won't"

"And you won't" she cupped her face "You won't lose it" she shook her head "But only if we stick together and you stop pushing everyone away. You need help, can't do this on your own"

"I always have done Yaz"

"Than change it..." she brushed her fingers over her cheeks

"I don't  know how to anymore...something changed Yaz...something changed inside me...I've changed"

"Then accept help...You got me, Jack, all those people I've met...They can't be stronger or smarter or more capable than all of us put together"

"It's not that easy..." she grabbed Yaz's wrists holding them tight

"Baby....wars are not won by one person alone but by many working together towards achieving one goal and you've been fighting this war for years alone pushing everyone away trying to protect them...Now, I'm not 3000 years old or an alien but surely even your word didn't survive by just one person fighting for it alone" 

Tears rolled down Clara's face and Yaz wiped them with her thumbs "Please baby...please let us in...I'm beginning you. Darling, you are loved and respected by so many...and you're not alone...don't make yourself alone...break that cycle...destroy it baby and we will win this together...I promise" she leaned her head on hers "I'll do paperwork, research, fuck I won't even leave this ship if you don't want me to...but let me be there as your partner, as your wife...Doctor"

"Oh stars" a whimper left her lips, those words leaving her mouth dry. She choked crying and kissed her desperately holding her face between her palms then broke a kiss pulling her in on her chest holding her so tightly Yaz could barely breathe. She looked up to the ceiling swallowing her tears feeling Yaz's heart beating against her chest.

"So do we have a deal?" Yaz said wrapping her arms around her back

Clara pulled back and turned around splayed her arms on the chest of drawers craning her neck

"Do we?" Yaz ran her fingers between her shoulder blades "Please let me in" she felt her hearts beating like a drum all the way on her spine and her breathing so deeply. "Baby?" she asked one more time stroking her arm

"One condition Yaz" she finally said

"Anything.."

Clara turned and grabbed the back of her neck gently "You don't go out there Yaz, ever...you have to promise me that"

"I promise" she smiled "Whatever you want...I promise"

"And you listen to me Yaz...you don't do stuff on your own...ever...cause you don't understand what's out there and I do"

"Deal" she nodded smiling and reached for her wrist brushing her thumb over her hand

"And you never, ever wonder off on your own"

"I promise alright...I promise...So we work together?"

Clara's chest raised in a deep sigh "I really hope I don't regret this one"

"You won't" she threw herself in her arms "You won't...Thank you"

"Stars Yaz don't thank me for this" she kissed the side of her head holding her around her waist tightly "Yaz"

"Yes baby?" Yaz said into her neck

"There's something else...something I...I been meaning to say" the corner of her lips twitched as she held her hand at the back of Yaz's neck pulling her to her chest. As to hold her there because saying what she was about to say was easier if she didn't look at her big brown eyes

"What darling?" Yaz asked calmly as she was being cradled her in her arms

"Please understand that..." she was trying to find words twisting and turning the sentence in her head thinking which way to say it "I...

Yaz's phone rang and Clara sighed

"Oh fuck sake" Yaz winged

"Go...answer it Yaz, it's probably your mum. We forgot to call her"

"I'm so sorry...I'll get rid of her fast"

"It's alright Yaz"

Yaz rolled her eyes and reached on a bed for it "Hey mum...sorry...came late I forgot to call you and then it was just late...I'm so sorry" she spoke looking at Clara holding her hand

"I found a beautiful extension for your hair but there's one on a clip and one on those hair comes...and I'm not sure which one to get?"

"I have to" Clara signaled towards the control room

"No" Yaz nodded "Stay" she whispered but Clara kissed her forehead and headed to the door buttoning her shirt back

Yaz rolled her eyes disappointed and upset with herself for picking up the phone

"Either mum...I really don't care...clips I guess"

"Yeah I thought so...it seems so much easier...Would you like some flowers as well?"

"No mum...I don't wanna overdo it, it's only a small wedding and my dress is already as if we're having 300 people"

She watched Clara slowly leaving the room and felt like absolute pile of shit inside for letting her leave but in same time her mum was so sweet for doing all this for her as well she couldn't just ignore her. So, she felt like she was torn between two people who she loved.

"You're only getting married once Yaz nothing is too much"

"I know mum but extension is really enough thanks for doing that. Listen...I'm so sorry mum but Clara needs me for something and I..."

"No, no it's fine Yaz go...I just thought I call you whilst I'm in shop.."

"So sorry mum"

"It's ok sweetheart...have a nice time"

"Bye mum...love ya"

"Love you too"

She hang up the phone and left the room looking for Clara and found her in a control room saying goodbye to Jack

"Oh, you're leaving?" she said surprised and disappointed in a way. She did like his company a lot.

"I'm a fixed point in time Yazee...I can't stay on a Tardis...But I'll see you in few days" he kissed her forehead

"Thank you..."

"For what?" he winked and tapped her nose 

"Take care Jack...and call me" Clara said

"Where are you going anyway?" Yaz asked confused

"I'm gonna follow the rats Yaz" he said

"Just please be careful Jack...and don't do anything on your own...and make sure you're not being seen" she clipped a metal bracelet on his wrist

"What's that?" Yaz asked

"That is connected to the neuro trackers I told  you about so it will feed information from the Tardis straight to Jack about every location they move to" Clara explained "It will also allow me to see where Jack is" she flipped the screen "so if he ever gets in a trouble I know exactly where to find him. This cannot be tampered with or taken off Jack unless someone chops your arm off"

"Let's hope they don't then"

"If you need help press this...I have my Tardis now so I can be there in a minute"

"Understood Doctor" he salutes and kisses her forehead "See you on a wedding Doctor"

"See you Jack" she said and he activated his vortex manipulator disappearing within seconds leaving Yaz with her mouth wide open trying to adjust her brain to it.

"Well, that's done..." Clara turned to the console "Shall we go for that meal Yaz?" she smiled "I have stuff to do but it can wait few hours"

"Sorry for that phone call"

"It's alright Yaz...no need to say sorry for your mum calling" she said walking around the console then flipped the screen "Aaaa see Yaz look it works...there's Jack" she pointed exited

"That's great...What were you gonna say? Just before mum called"

She pursed her lips "Oh...I dunno...I forgot, old brains...I'm sure it will come to me again" she smiled "Food?"

"Yeah alright...we can cook something?"

"We could...but you're indoors all the time for weeks. And it's a beautiful day out there don't you wanna go out...have a walk, enjoy in a sunshine"

"It's raining today"

"Oh, well...rain can be nice...romantic even"

Yaz shook head smiling "Alright...let me get changed" she walked up to Clara as she was bent over the console and placed a small kiss on her cheek making her smile "Love ya"

Clara looked at her smiling


As she walked down the hall, she felt a slight discomfort in her leg, but not enough to hurt like before. The burning sensation was also gone so she decided to drop the subject altogether as Clara was clearly in no mood for any additional stress. As long as she felt better, she was fine. She was under no illusion that Clara knew all too well what she was going to say before her mom called and then, for some reason only she knew, changed her mind. But even the decision she made today was a huge step forward and Yaz was immensely grateful for that. Whatever else was in her head would slowly be resolved because now she at least felt Clara open a huge door for her to walk through. After almost eight months of living together this was a huge step for her and Yaz knew it. She also knew how much she still struggled with and that walking this next path would be far from easy, but she was determined not to let her continue her self-destruction by dwelling on her pain and loneliness haunted by the past.


It wasn't just raining, it was pouring out of dark clouds, but they still drove to a local pub for a meal which Yaz thought was cute, but totally crazy because they had a full fridge at home. But Clara was determined to get out, and what she could only guess was her attempt to clear her head from this morning. Yaz had been walking on eggshells up to that point not wanting to touch the subject or ask any more questions about the case for the rest of the day. It was Monday, just a few days before the wedding and she couldn't help but feel somewhat deflated by the whole thing. Sunday evening inevitability tainted it and changed their mood. It almost seemed like they were just working to get it done as some sort of scheduled job that couldn't be avoided. She felt sad and had to hold back tears at times as they drove in silence to a pub that was a good 30 minutes away from where the Tardis was. She looked in the side mirror as the raindrops slid down twirling her engagement ring on her finger listening to the music on the radio, it was as if the weather reflected their current mood.
Clara glanced her way for a moment and pursed her lips. She put her hand on Yaz's leg and gently stroked it with her finger on one side. She felt the sadness coming from Yaz and her hearts ached as it felt like she was causing it and it was her darkness that was slowly consuming their lives. For a moment she felt like running away, removing herself from Yaz's life before it gets her killed. It was her that led them to her one more time, her presence in her life. She felt like instead of feeling happy and loved, she was making her life hell on every level for the second time, and she couldn't escape that thought. Yaz placed her hand on top of hers gently lacing their fingers and Clara felt herself screaming inside, wondering how in the name of all the stars this woman could still love her after all she had put her through how she could love her when she made her feel so miserable. Now more than ever she felt the guilt eating away at her inside. She moved her hand and turned off the main road leaving Yaz looking at her in confusion as she randomly parked her car in front of someone's house.

"What are you doing?" Yaz asked completely confused "Why did you stop?"

Clara switched off the car and kept holding the wheel. Yaz saw her knuckles going white as she was was gripping it so tightly it felt like she will rip it off.

"Yaz..." she spoke half craning her neck down looking at some random spot on a dashboard "If you want to call it off...stop this madness I...I understand"

"Whaaaat?" she jumped frozen, feeling cold sweat on her skin and the hole in her stomach as if someone is ripping her insides "What the fuck are going on about?"

"I'll go Yaz...I'll leave...I...you don't need all this...I'm making your life a living hell darling I'm putting you in danger"

"Clara...Look at me Clara" she didn't, she kept staring down at the dashboard and just shut her eyes for a moment

"Yaz I'm a muddy water...My life is a mess...And if something would happen to you I...."

Yaz opened the car door and walked out. Rain poured down her face and she swallowed deep looking up at the skies as tears started falling down her face. She shook her head "Fuck....fuuuck!" she yelled stomping her foot to the ground

Clara got out of the car "Yaz get inside...Yaz pleeease...get inside the car" she walked over to her and tried pulling her by the hand but Yaz turned around and shoved so hard she took few steps back

"Stop this!" she shouted

"Yaz please" Clara said desperately

Yaz walked over to her and hit her chest with her hands again "You stop this shit now!" she shouted hysterically and Clara just let her do it

"Who the fuck do you think you are? You can't do this to me" she continued to yell "You can't just walk into my life making me fall for you so hard I don't know what my name is and then just walk out when it gets hard...What the fuck Clara!!! Is this what you are? Is that what the Doctor is? Well fuck the Doctor then....and fuck you, Clara! Fuck you because I love you and don't you fucking dare" she pointed finger at her leaving her totally speechless standing bolted to the ground as rain poured over them both soaking their clothes to the bone "Fight!..You fight"

She wanted to shove her again but this time Clara grabbed her hands in the air "Don't you dare leaving me" she cried her eyes out shaking like a branch "Don't you fucking dare giving up cause I can't fucking breathe without you"

Clara pulled her to her chest "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I'm not gonna...not iff you don't want me to"

Yaz cried her eyes out holding on to her braces tucking her head into her neck. "Don't you fucking dare"

"I won't...please Yaz calm down"

"You promise me" she looked up at her pulling her braces "Promise me you fight for us"

"Alright I promise" she stroke the soaking wet hair and pressed her lips at her forehead "I promise Yaz"

"You're not making my life hell Clara, you're the only thing in it worth living for" she said holding her face between her palms "Please get that in that beautiful brain of yours.  Hoooow can you be so brilliant and so fucking dumb in same time...hooow?"

"Alright...I love you Yaz I don't want to leave you but I don't want my darkness to destroy you"

"You're not darkness...you're not, where is this even coming from?...They are, those people can't you see that?...You're not causing this misery,  they are" she stroke her face as they both cried, their tears getting lost in a rain soaking into the ground below their feet "I love you...I love you more than anything in this world" she pulled  back and moved a wet hair out of her face tucking it behind her ears "I don't fucking care what it takes but we get our life back...our life Clara...our dreams. I'm not giving them that...no fucking way am I...I've had it with this bullshit...You speak to me" she shook Clara's head between her palms "Tell me what the fuck did they do to you to make you lose it so much...Whaaaat?"

Clara choked from pain she kissed her gently brushing her thumbs over her cheeks "I don't know who I am anymore" she rested her head on hers

"You're the Doctor" she lowered her voice "Whatever the fuck that may be and I may not understand it but I know that's what you are.  And this is broken person giving up. And I'm not letting you do that. Do you get that?"

Clara nodded crying

"Say it!" Yaz shook her again

"Yes...yes I do Yaz"

"Then don't fuck off and leave me"

"Alright butterfly" Clara smiled a little "I promise...you're shaking"

"So are you...look at the fucking state of us" she ran her hands down her chest "Can we please go home?"

"Yes...yes we can...Let's go home" she pressed her lips to her hairline and draped her arm over her shoulder taking her back to the car as Yaz learned onto her shoulder relieved

They didn't talk much after they came back but things calmed down and after having a hot shower and changing their clothes they were making a dinner together. Yaz ran her hand between Clara's shoulder blades as she was shoving potatoes in a tray.

"I love you" she said kissing her back and Clara took her hand wrapping it around herself "Can we lie down after food?"

"Definitely...I think we both need it today" she leaned over the sink washing her hands as Yaz draped herself over her back then turned around
"Let's put this in the oven we watch some movie in a library...Would you like that?"

"I'd love that but what about your work?"

"It can wait" she said gently stroking her hair dotting kisses over her face as Yaz closed her eyes and played with the hair at nape of her neck

"Those potatoes won't cook themselves you know" she giggled into her lips

"Oh, shoot yes" she jumped and turned around taking a tray and shoved it in the oven then took Yaz's hand leading her out of the kitchen.

Thigs went back to normal as they had dinner in the library and snuggled on a sofa. The move was playing but they were both so tiered it lulled them to sleep within ten minutes. Technically it was still quite early in a day but the lack of sleep from Sunday and all the stress they've been through has taken its toll on them both physically and mentally.
Yaz woke up to find Clara still fast asleep wrapped around her so much she couldn't move even iff she wanted to. She strokes her hair and ran lazy lines down her back feeling better for letting it all out in a way, exploding like a bottle of champagne. Though she hated them arguing with every cell in her body she was also aware that if hadn't have done that, she would've probably found herself waking up one morning to an empty bed with a note on a side table and no blue box in a garden. And she knew that day her life would've stop. This was so far from what she was expecting eight months ago when she met her. This was a wild roller coaster ride that gave her a whiplash emotionally and challenged her on every level but what Clara meant to her was worth sticking through the ride. That she hadn't had one single doubt about in her mind.

"Mmmm" Clara mumbled waking up

"Hey koala" Yaz smiled

"Aaaarrr..." she stretched out with a yawn and nuzzled her face into Yaz's neck "I can't remember any of that movie"

"Me neither" Yaz giggled "How're doing baby?"

She huffed into her neck "Is that a trick question?" she scrunched her face lifting her gaze

"I suppose so" she stroke her hair smiling at her

"I needed that shove..." she laid her head back down on Yaz's chest "If I'm honest I needed all of it Yaz and more"

"So should I shove you again then?"  Yaz giggled

"Iff you think I need it please feel free"

"I wanna drop it Clara for now because we both need some peace in our head. But we need to talk properly about this"

Clara shuffled and sat on her. She reached for her hands lacing their fingers together in the air "I promise Yaz...I promise I will tell you everything"

"I never wanted it this way Clara I really didn't but time has ran out and I have to know what the hell is going on"

"I know darling...And I promise..."

"Right, now all I wanna think about is a wedding I don't want anyone destroying this for us"

"Me neither Yaz...I would really hate that. I'm sorry...I'm sorry you're going through this...This isn't how I wanted this"

"This is our day...so let's own it baby...alright? Can we do that? Please"

Clara brought her fingers to her lips kissing them gently "Yes darling...we definitely can"

Yaz pulled her onto herself "And don't you ever fucking say what you did to me today or I'll make you regenerate myself" she said holding her braces

Clara started laughing "Please don't...I promise the thought is erased out my mind"

"It fucking better be" she said into her lips and Clara wrapped her fingers around her face pulling her in.

...

 

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