It was coming up to evening and Clara took out last two bags of rubbish trying to fit them into the bin

"Aaaaahhh...oh come ooon...I have no patience for this as well today...Why is it that humans need to make things so small for no reason?" she muttered angrily booting the bin then grabbed rubbish bags taking them into the Tardis "I know...I know... I'm sorry...no it's not fair but I really appreciate it"

Tardis hummed and lights turned pink "She's ganna be fine. We have the rings. You're gonna love them" she smiled looking up "It's the only thing keeping me from going bonkers. I need to go to her...love ya" she hoped to the door "And thanks for the rubbish"
Yaz was still sleeping on a sofa and Clara put the dinner in the oven then started repairing the blind in the kitchen.

"Clara?" Yaz called from the living room

"Hey lovely" Clara walked inside and kneeled by the sofa "How are you doing darling?" she stroke her forehead and kissed her hairline "Does it hurt? I can give you another shot darling. Let me see" she lifted the blanket

"No it's it's better...just need to pee...and..

"It's ok baby...I'll take you"

"I can maybe walk"

"No you will not do such thing Yasmin...Come on baby...sit up...just slowly" she moved the blanket and helped her to turn around "Put your arms around my shoulders...come on"

Clara lifted her up and took her upstairs to the bathroom. Yaz was still groggy from the medication Clara gave her.

"I made a nice dinner" Clara kneeled next to the toilet

"Oh baby...I feel like all you do is drag me around ever since we met. There's always some fucking shit wrong with me" she stroke her face still sleepy

"Don't be silly...it's all life...besides I'm  the one to blame for this...I'm so sorry"

"No you're not...shut up..."

"I fixed the blind and they are bringing the new conservatory door tomorrow"

"And you cleaned up everything...I'm done" she giggled "Or you like hanging around in a toilet?"

"Oh...sorry..." Clara laughed

She helped her up and took her back downstairs to the living room.

"I even got a bridal carry" Yaz giggled as Clara popped her back on a sofa

"Neah...this is just a rehearsal for the real one" she tapped her nose

"Oh...look at you charmer..."

"What can say Yaz...centuries of practice" she smugs and winks at her

"Lucky me" she giggles

"Food?" she asked exited pointing towards the kitchen

"Yes please I'm starving"

"Coming up" she zoomed towards the kitchen "It's not much...Just some chicken and potatoes" she yelled from the kitchen "And salad...I know you love salad...

"That's fantastic babe"

Yaz was sitting on a sofa and looking around and it was only now she saw how Clara managed to clean up everything to a point where you couldn't even make out that anything had even happened. All the stuff was back in its place and the wooden display cabinet was back where it was. All the broken glass was picked up and floors hoovered. She was wondering how long was she sleeping and how much Clara's injection nocked her out when she didn't even hear the hoover going around her. Her leg was still hurting and was very swollen so she was definitely not capable of working any time soon.

"Here we go" Clara came from the kitchen with a tray and placed it on her lap then put cushions behind her back and kissed her forehead

"Oh baby..."

"What darling?"

"I'm sorry"

"For what Yaz?"

"Being in a shit state again and you having to do everything"

"Oh no no...you do not put this on yourself...don't you dare missy...told you already...that leg is all my fault...I can't believe I did that...I just forget sometimes Yaz that I'm stronger and my body can take more...humans are so fragile"

"Fuck babe it really hits me when you say it like that"

"What?"

"That you're not human babe...it's like it goes at the back of my mind...I forget...and then you say stuff like that and it just throws me sideways" she giggled "Well that dinner looks really super yummy"

"Tomorrow I'm gonna work on better security" she said and sat on a floor putting her plate on a coffee table "I should've done it before I just wasn't thinking...Never had a house before Yaz I didn't have to think about that"

"Babe..."

"Mmmm?" she mumbled chewing haply on her dinner

"Where did that gun come from? You do realize that can put you to jail? You can't own a gun in UK babe"

"It's from Kate darling...and I'm not gonna end up in jail...Don't worry"

Yaz looked at her worried and Clara took one more bite then relased she was just looking at her with thousands of question marks flying over her head. She just wanted to forget what happened but she also relased she won't be able to. Not this time around. So she left her fork on plate.

"Come on darling...ask me...what do you wanna know?...Ask me anything...but before you do one thing you need to understand Yaz is that I don't use guns. I never do...I don't kill people Yaz. That gun was there to protect you"

"Why why me?"

"Because all I have is you...and I'm not about to lose you any time soon"

"Clara who was that man? I know I said I won't ask about your past...but.."

Clara purest her lips then got up and walked out of the room without a word.

"I'm sorry..." Yaz put the tray on a table "I didn't mean to Clara...I..."

Clara came back and put the file on the table leaving her completely confused "What's that?"

"That darling is the case I'm working on....that morning I went to see Kate...it was about that" she slid the file across the table "You can look iff you want...but it's not something I really want you to see or something I ever wanted to bring into our lives"

"What is it?"

"Experiments done on humans with alien DNA...by some dangerous people Yaz"

"Oh Clara...fuck me babe...you're working on that?"

She put her hands in her pockets and craned her head down walking across the room "Yes baby...I never wanted...I thought I left that in my past.." she walked up to the window then turned towards her "But my past has a nasty habit of catching up with me and never leaving me alone"

"What does your past have to do with that? Please tell me"

Clara sighed deeply "It was something I was working on...years ago...and I thought I settled it Yaz...I thought they were gone...those people. I thought I've stopped them...but I was wrong. And I can't just leave it like that....I can't because if I do I can never have this...and I want this... I want you Yaz...I want this life"

"Because what...they will hurt you?...Is that what you're scared off darling?"

Clara shook her head "Noo Yaz...But they will you...It's...it's just...complicated...it's...I have to finish it..I have to find out...I need to find out...and get rid of it for good...I need answers Yaz...I never got them I was searching for years...and things just went badly wrong...as bad as they can get..."

"Clara..." Yaz asked quietly

She sighed "Yes baby?"

"Does that have anything to do with your wife darling?"

Clara was swallowing marbles by this point and holding back the tears. She looked up to the ceiling and took a big breath

"Oh baby" Yaz said worriedly as she could see Clara is one step from crying "Alright...look I'm sorry...we're stopping this conversation...I don't wanna upset you"

"Nooo Yaz....I....it's just...I.."

"Clara darling please...I would get up iff I can...please baby...c'mere" she reached out with her hand "please baby...c'mere"

Clara wiped a tear from her face and walked over. Yaz grabbed her hand and pulled her towards herself laying her head on her stomach and wrapped her arms around her waist. She felt her breathing deeply underneath her cheek and her fingers in her hair.

"I am so sorry Yaz...I never wanted this"

"I know...it's fine..." she kissed her stomach and pulled her hand down to kneel in front of her "Listen..." Yaz stroke her face and tucked her hair behind her ears "We're in this together alright"

"Noo baby not in this"

"Hey...shhh...I'm gonna read that file...I wanna know what that shit is...and what ever that shit is we will resolve it together"

"Yaz I don't want you anywhere near that...that's not why I gave you that file"

"They are already in our house babe...I'm already in it..."

"Oh stars Yaz...noo...I don't want that..I can do this on my own..." she grabbed her hands "I've been doing it for centuries Yaz"

"Well you're not alone now"

"Yaz please baby" she wrapped her hand at the back of her neck "I can't do that...no please...I need you as far away from this as possible. Please trust me on this...I can't go through it again...I just...that's not what meant when I gave this to you...what was I thinking"

"Nothing is gonna happen to me darling...You can't live with that fear"

"Yaz...please I'm beginning you" tears rolled down her face

"Clara...OMG babe...calm down"

"I can't calm down...I can't I...I can't go through that again..." she was squeezing her hand and the back of her neck shaking her head "I just want normal life...that's all I want I just wanted it for moment...just moment...I don't...I can't ...have that pain again...please"

"Clara" Yaz yelled "Ok...OMG...ok...ok..." she brought her hand to her cheek "Just please calm down...please" she kissed her through her tears "I'm here baby...I'm here alright" she pulled her in and Clara buried her head into her neck "Calm down...please..please baby.."

"Please Yaz..."

"Ok...alright...I won't...I promise ok..." She grabbed her head with both hands and lifted her gaze to meet her eyes. Tears streaming down her face "Shhhhh...Alright...I'll just work in shop ok..I won't even look at that...alright?....Is that ok baby...tell me...you don't really want me to...is that it?"

"Noo...I don't...I don't Yaz...I just ..all the secrets and I just wanted you to trust me"

"But I do trust you...I won't then...just please stop crying...please baby" she dotted kisses over her face "I do trust you Clara...I always have...It's why I'm not asking much...I'm just trying to make sense of things that's all. But it was never about trust...ever darling...I just wanna be there for you"

"I love you Yaz...I love you soo much"

"I know you do...and I love you more that I can even say it...Just promise me something...I need at least that and I promise I won't ask any more questions"

"Anything..."

"Please what ever you do don't get hurt...because as much as you don't wanna loose me darling I would die without you..."

Clara nodded "I won't...I promise Yaz I won't..."

"Please baby..."

"I promise..." she kisses her desperately through the tears tugging her hair and squeezing Yaz's top in her hand

"Right...can we have some food now" Yaz smiled into her lips

"Mmmm" she nodded "I think I lost my appetite Yaz"

"It's really nice" she reached her plate and took a potato in her hand waiving it infront of her lips "Open...please...iff you love me"

"That's not fair"

"Life is not fair get used to it" she smiled cheeky and shoved a potato in her mouth then kissed her lips "I love you...so fucking much"

Clara sighed and slumped on a floor and Yaz stabbed another potato from her plate and shoved it into her mouth "Better?"

"It is nice" Clara looked up to her and smiled sniffling

"It is...you're not such a bad cook when you put the effort"

"Cheeky potty mouth" Clara smiled 

 

....

 

 

They were halfway through the movie and Yaz was dozing off on the sofa with her back against Clara. She turned and buried her head in her neck, wrapping her arm around her. Clara felt calmer, but still restless inside. She hugged her tightly and kissed her head trying to focus on the movie to think about something else. She never thought the conversation would take the direction it did, but at the same time she thought how naive she was to think that it wouldn't knowing Yaz. Except that this Yaz was so different and yet so the same that she almost lost herself in it. And predicting her moves became much more difficult. The weight of it all weighed on her so much. As more time passed, she felt more and more the need to bare her soul in front of her, and keeping secrets made her restless and afraid of losing her. But it was difficult to find a balance between her need to protect her and honesty. And if she had to choose between keeping her safe and losing the trust Yaz had in her, she would choose keeping her safe in a heart beat, even though she hoped with every cell in her body that she would never have to make that choice. She slowly calmed down, pressing her closer and closer to herself. To Clara she seemed so fragile, so vulnerable. And all she wanted was to hold her in her arms where she knew it was the only place in this universe where she was safe and protected from everything. But she couldn't. It was just a stupid thought born of pure desperation and she knew it. Now she only had two goals...two thinks to do. To make her better no matter the cost and get rid of her past that kept creeping into their lives. It was everything she wanted and everything she could think of. The only two things that occupied her mind from the moment she opened her eyes in the morning until the moment she closed them at night. If only she could do those two, she would feel like she could breathe again like she used to. Like she was going to stop choking on the remanence of her past and live the life she wanted in a way she'd never wanted anything before in her long existence.

Yaz woke up in pain. She was desperately trying to make herself comfortable but her leg was still hurting her a lot. She rubbed her face into Clara's neck then tried to move into some more comfortable position.

"Hey lovely? Slowly darling...I know it hurts...I need to give you one more shot so you can sleep more comfortably and you need ice pack again" Clara wiggled from the sofa and back on her feet then put more cushions underneath her leg.

"It really hurts" she said sleepy

"I know baby...I know it does...I could kick myself for this honestly...I'll be back in a second" she pursed her lips and kissed her forehead then went to get the medication and ice pack

She walked into the kitchen and got the ice pack from the fridge and placed it on the kitchen top then glanced at her phone quickly.

"At least some good news" she quickly answered the message and the ran to the Tardis

Hey beautiful..." Tardis hummed for her as soon as she got in and turned the lights pink "Aaaahhh you got it ready for me. What would I ever do without you, ha?...She's gonna be better tomorrow...I can't believe I did that...I'm so stupid sometimes honestly" she picked up the little bottle from the console "Love ya.. see you later"

She ran outside and through the kitchen grabbed the ice pack and went back to the living room.

"Hey baby" she smiled and kneeled next to Yaz

"I missed the whole movie...sorry"

"Well...nothing new there is it" she giggled and gave her the shot then kissed her quickly

"No I suppose not"

"But it's the medication as well darling it's making you sleepy...and that's fine...you need to sleep. It will heal faster"

"I'm not gonna have crutches for a wedding am I?...Please tell me I won't"

"Nooo silly that's month away Yaz" she said placing the ice pack on her leg and putting blanket over her "You're gonna be dancing by then"

"I hope so"

"You're gonna be as good as new in a week time Yaz...you'll see...hey look what I've got for you" she wiped out a Snickers bar out of her pocket making Yaz giggle

"Sometimes you feel more like a mum than anything else babe"

"Blimey Yaz...now that's just weird"

"I know..." she giggled "My sugar mummy" she laughed

"What's that?" Clara frowned tucking her into the blanket

"Oh god...you're  definitely not from Earth. ..never mind babe...forget I ever said that"

"Right...comfy?"

"Yeah...thanks babe...what about you?"

"Never mind me Yaz..." she threw few cushions on the floor and sat down then Yaz draped her arm around her her shoulder "What did I miss?" Clara asked and kissed her knuckles

"Not much...they came to New York and met up with this guy ...." she continued telling the plot of the movie. Clara held her hand and every so often brushed Yaz's fingertips over her lips kissing them.

 

....

 

All Sunday, Clara was tinkering around the house, checking on Yaz from time to time. She popped  outside  to get some shopping and left  everything for her that she could  possibly  need in a mean time. A cup of tea, a tray with biscuits, a sandwich if she gets hungry, glass of water and and a juice. She was laying in the conservatory reading one of the books from Clara's vast collection. She had to lie to her mom and say she fell down the stairs. She could hardly tell her the truth. All day long, Clara couldn't get out of her head, and the book was just a way to distract herself from thinking, actually from worrying. She felt this fear inside her that she couldn't shake. She was worried sick. She felt as if more she learned about Clara, more layers she peeled back more traumas she would uncover, and it made her feel utterly helpless. She wanted so desperately to help her, yet she didn't know how to reach her without hurting her. Clara's face so shaken and broken in floods of tears was constantly at the back of her mind. Yaz heard the car pulling on a driveway and her heart jumped knowing Clara was back home.

"Hey lovely" Clara yelled from the kitchen

"Hey baby...missed you" Yaz yelled back and put the book on the coffee table

"Look what I got for you!" Clara walked in exited holding a pair of pink crutches

"OMG I fucking love you for this...and pink" she giggled

"I know....cute ha?" she grinned haply "Wanna try them them out?"

"Absolutely...yes...C'mere you" she grabbed her hand and pulled her down for a kiss "I really love you" she said into her lips and kissed her again

"I love you to my beautiful butterfly"

"Butterfly?" she giggled

"Yeah" she smiled "Why not?...butterflies are beautiful" she helped her to sit up "You're beautiful"

"And you're cute" she wrapped her arms around her neck and Clara pulled her up

"Right...let me know if I need to adjust the height" she passed her one and then the other crouch

"It's seems fine" she tried walking around

"Just slowly Yaz...don't go mad...you need to get used to them"

"But I can walk again" she giggled hopping around the conservatory and Clara was going behind her ready to grab her. She could  so see her falling the way she was going

"I know you can but you're gonna be flying as well if you don't slow down Yaz...hey wanna see what I did?"

"Yeah sure...what did you do? You've been fiddling with something the whole day"

"I have yes...wait till you see it...Come...just slowly please" she led her towards the driveway and when they stood in front of the house she pointed sonic at the main door. The air around the house wobbled and Yaz frowned

"What the hell?...What was that?"

"The most advanced security system in the universe Yaz...look" she poked her finger in it and it zapped her "Uff...well that hurts" she shook her hand and scrunched her face

"What the fuck babe...what is that?"

"Force field potty mouth...it is all around the house...so no more braking in Yaz"

"Right...waaaw...Bloody hell...how did you do that?"

"Bighead remember..." she grinned and kissed her temple

"You are aren't you....How does it power up?"

"Artron energy...it's quite simple really...Not much to it I just needed to install few amplifiers that's all...I really don't know why I never did that before"

Yaz stood in a driveway confused and she was just about to ask her what the hell was artron energy when the van beeped right behind her

"Aaaaa...door Yaz"

"Door?" she frowned

"Conservatory door...new one"

"Oh yes of course...I forgot"

The van parked up and Clara ran to it "Thanks for that Craig...I really appreciate you bringing it on Sunday"

"No worries love...I can't believe you got broken into" he said stepping out of the van

"I know...can you believe it...and in the middle of a day as well"

"Times have changed...there'll be more and more of that unfortunately....You're not the only one I had four cases this month. All the same...they came through the back door" he walked around  the van and opened the back door "Here we go...nice and shiny just for you"

"Brilliant ...fancy a cuppa?"

"That would be lovely...thank you"

"I'll leave the garage door open for you just go around the back I'll meet you there"

"Sure love"

"Come on Yaz let's go make a some tea" she pointed the sonic and moved the force field then ran to the garage door and opened it up

"See...it will be like nothing ever happened darling" she said as they were stepping back into the house

"Except that it did love" she said worriedly

"It's gonna be fine...I promise" she kissed her temple

"I bet you say this every time" she smiled

"Mmmm only sometimes"

"God I hope you're right"

 

....

 

 

Four days passed and they didn't talk about what happened anymore. Things went back to normal as if nothing had happened. Clara never spoke about it again, and Yaz never asked anything again. She wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, but the last thing she wanted was to upset her again. She has gotten used to her new pink accessory and has been hopping around the house more or less without any problems. Clara tied rainbow colored ribbons to the sides of her crutches which made her laugh. Her knee still hurt, but it was getting better faster than she expected. The last time she had an injury like this, it took her a lot longer to recover. She put it all down to the injections that Clara gave her every day and began to welcome them because they obviously made her feel better. But they made her sleepy as well, as if she didn't get enough sleep she could literally fall asleep sitting up now and would regularly fall asleep every night watching TV. Clara took over as usual, which now included making dinner every night, and Yaz felt absolutely useless. But she wouldn't let her do anything and insisted she rest. The only downside to Clara taking on all the responsibilities was that every day she would forget something from the store and there was always something missing in the house. But Yaz found her dizziness endearing and funny. The day dragged on as she tried to do some cleaning and ironing to pass the time until Clara came home from work. There wasn't much ironing and she couldn't figure out when Clara did it.

She hated being alone, and she hated being separated from her even more. Sonya took a piss out of her by saying that they were joined at the hip and that instead of wedding rings, they should get handcuffs and tie themselves permanently. She made herself some tea and sat down in her usual place in the kitchen, looking out into the garden. It was a beautiful sunny day and the feeling of the coming summer in the air. The other day she noticed that swallows had made a nest on Clara's little blue shed just above the door and hoped to see the babies. She was still intrigued by that shed, but she somehow forgot about it with every other surprise that came with Clara, and she had no shortage of surprises, that was for sure. Yaz never thought in a million years that meeting the love of her life would also include all the other things she had learned over the past few months, but she also never dreamed that they would become so casually a part of her life either. Maybe that's what it means when people say love is blind, she thought, but in her case it was also death. She didn't care less as long as she had her. She heard the car pulling up the driveway and felt her heart pound at the sound of it. So she grabbed her churches and rushed for the door

"Hey lovely" Clara smiled coming out of the car "Stay there don't go on a gravel you might fall"

"Hey baby" Yaz stood at the door

"I got some shopping...I hope I got everything this time" she said opening the booth of the car and taking bags out

"OMG...did you buy half of the store?" Yaz laughed when she saw her taking out around seven bags of shopping

"No...but I got half of it for sure..." she laughed

"You silly woman"

"I did remember your chocolate this time" she said happily coming inside and dumped all the bags on the counter "How's my little limping sloth?" she cupped her cheeks and kissed her

"Limping but I did manage to do some cleaning"

"Cleaning Yaz...nooo...come on we spoke about that" she slumped her shoulders frowning

"I know we have but I can't just sit and do nothing the whole day babe...I'm sorry" Yaz opened one of the bags and started taking stuff out

"Yes you can Yaz...just watch movies or that series you like that I hate"

"It's a good series.." she rolled her eyes laughing taking shopping out on the kitchen counter

"I don't like it...you know I don't like guns Yaz"

"Sais a woman who owns one" she giggled

"Oi...I never used that thing Yaz..."

"I know I know...chill out" she grabbed her braces and pulled her in kissing her

"Hey look what I got" she started digging through the bags and pulled out a beautiful photo frame

"What's beautiful babe...what's it for?"

"I thought it can be for our wedding photo...like it?"

"OMG...that's brilliant...of course I like it...Hey there's swallow nest on your shed"

"Whaaa?" she looked at Yaz confused

"Yeah right above the door"

"Really? Well that's gonna be complicated if I ever need to use it"

"Why? It's above the door" she frowned confused putting stuff in the fridge "Besides you're just moving it around the garden and never using it anyway...pass me the butter babe"

"For now Yaz...I might do some day you know"

"Why do you love that thing so much? And where did it even come from?"

"I have it for years Yaz...it's just special to me"

"So what, you just kept it parked here on Earth or something when you decide to pop over for a century or two? Or get married" she giggled "I'm really confused with some stuff you do realize that, right?"

"It will all make sense one day lovely" she kissed her quickly "I promise" she slipped her arm around her waist and moved the crouches on a side then wrapped another arm around her as well

"Fuck you smell nice...and you're doing this on purpose so I don't ask any more questions" she giggled tucking her hair behind her ears and trailed her fingers down her arm

"No I don't" she frowned then kissed the side of Yaz's neck

"See like this...you're clever I'll give you that" she giggled

"I am clever" she kissed the other side of Yaz's neck

"Oh please don't start what you can't finish" she felt herself becoming a pile of jelly already underneath her lips that were tracing every part of her neck

"You don't want me to kiss you?" she looked at her with those autumn eyes completely innocently making Yaz giggle

"You cheeky fucker don't you dare pull that face...Yes I do want you to kiss me but not like that...not now when I'm limping around and I can't do shit" she squeezed her face between her palms

"I'll be gentle" she smirked and went for her neck again and Yaz grabbed her head stopping her

"You always are...but I'm broken" she laughed as Clara's hands were trailing all over her like octopus wrapping around her and she felt them everywhere

"So..." she moved closer and brushed her lips on hers "I'll put you together" she kissed her slow and methodically with a purpose and Yaz was going. Not able to stand properly on her leg she wrapped her arms around her shoulders

"Then you can fall apart again underneath me" she smiled into her lips cheeky

"Fuck you Clara" she pulled her in and kissed her passionate letting her lift up from the floor and take her upstairs

...