Alex got all the boxes out of the garage and them two were decorating the tree house in the garden. Charlie watched through the kitchen window as they fumbled. She watched Alex as her hands gently slid over Yaz's waist as she passed her, and she watched her daughters smile filled with so much love and happiness. She beamed as Yaz caressed her face and melted into her touch. Her heart was warm when she finally saw her this happy. Something she had always wanted for Alex, but never dared to give her false hopes. She raised Alex to stick to her dreams, but also not to fly off the ground. For her feet to be strong, so people and life couldn't hurt her. But Alex was always soft and gentle, even as a child. She was always compassionate and caring which made it easier to hurt her. She was torn between hating herself for choosing such a monster to father her children, but at the same time, that same monster had given her the beautiful children she had. She often wondered how something so dark could create something so beautiful and loving. She took a tray of tea and cookies and headed out into the garden.

"Hey you two...looking good" she smiled "Look what I've got?"

"Aaaaa custard creme and tea!" Alex said exited from the little balcony "

"Thanks for that Charlie...soo do you like it?"

"I love it...I love love love all the lights"

"It will be even better when it gets dark" Yaz said "It also give light to the table for adults"

"I absolutely love it...might leave it like that"

Alex climbed down from the house and jumped to the grass wiping her hands on her sides then took a cookie and a tea leaning over kissing her mums cheek "Love ya"
"Love you too baby"

"So all we need to do now is hide all those treats around the garden. Do you have some freezer bags we can wrap them in? Yaz asked "We forgot to buy them"

"I might have..." she smiled and her cheeky smile reminded Yaz of Alex

"What's the time mum?"

"Aaarrrh two...so you still have some time but hurry up to get yourselves pretty"

"Yeah we need to get into our costumes" Yaz giggled

"I just love this...kids will enjoy in this so much"

Alex sat on the stars of the tree house and Yaz sat infront of her leaning her back to her chest "All her idea" she looked up to Alex lovingly

"I can't wait for Ysz to meet everyone...don't get intimidated...there's a lot of us"

"Hey...have you ever seen Pakistani wedding?"

Alex laughed "Nooo"

"Well then you haven't seen anything" she giggled "I'm just not good with names" she frowned "It's embarrassing because I forget people's names"

"That's fine Yaz...don't stress" Charlie said "We are used  to it"

"Hey mum...you remember Katie it took a year to remember everyone's names...I was Alice for good six months" she laughed

"Alice?" Yaz laughed

"Yeah...I even got used to it so much that when she finally started calling me Alex it sounded weird" she laughed
"Alright girls...I'm of to the kitchen...enjoy yourselves"

"Alright mum...do you need help?"

"Yeah please put us to work"

"Neah...Jamie and Annie are coming soon. They will help out with food"

"Alright" Alex waived smiling

Yaz looked up to her smiling

"What's that cute smile for" Alex asked stroking her neck and kissed her nose

"Love ya"

"Oh Yazee" Alex wrapped her arms around her and leaned her chin on her head "I don't know what do without you anymore"

"Well it's good you're never gonna have to find out" she laced their fingers together

"I got so used to this now. Our sleepovers and having someone to call and text all the time"

"And have someone miss me" Yaz said

"Oh I do miss you...I miss you as soon as I leave the apartment"

"Have someone cuddle me on a sofa...snore into my neck" she giggled

"Do I? Told you I might" she laughed

"It's a cute little snore I like it.. and you mumble arguing with me if I move....very possessive sleeper" she laughed

"OMG" she slumped her head on her shoulder "I sound a right charmer Yaz"

"You are...you charmed the pants off me...well not yet...but they are barley hanging on" she laughed

Alex laughed into her shoulder then Yaz shifted turning twards her rubbing her nose against hers smiling.

"I should kiss you now shouldn't I?"

"Yes you should" someone said giggling

They both got startled and looked twards the voice

"Annie!!!" Alex jumped up completely exited and got up stepping down to the grass

"Oh it's so good to see you girl" Annie said hugging her tight

"Annie...this is my Yaz...Yaz Annie...James's wife and little Jamie's mum"

"Nice to meet you Yaz"

"Nice to meet you too"

"You alright babes...James told me what happened"

"Arrmh I wasn't at the time...but I am now"

"Someone should really pull him through the fingers...seriously...What a wanker...you'd think he'd drop it after all this time"

"He never will...I will have this till the day he dies"

"I'm  glad you're better hun..." she said  hugging Alex again "You know we're here for you...you can call and come whenever you want"

"I know that"

"So how's Sheffield treating you...apart falling in love" she smiled

"Job is good...I do love it there...Also I can relax while shopping" she smiled "Mmmm...I do have a beautiful apartment...my first ever...you need to come and see it"

"Will do...definitely...oh I need to go and help Charlie with food...Thanks for doing all of this. Kids will love it"

 

….

They were back in their room and Yaz Alex went into the shower as she was all dusty from the tree house and pulling all the old boxes out. She came out finding Yaz curled up on a bed and got worried

"Yaz...are you alright baby" she sat next to her on a bed stroking her forehead

"I got such cramps in my tummy"

"Oh Yaz...how long have you had those?"

"Started in a garden but it's now getting worse" she said pouting her lips

"Darling first of all take those jeans off...goodness...they're squishing your insides so much...C'mere...turn around"

Yaz lied on her back and Alex unbuttoned her trousers pulling them down. See better right"

"Mmmm...it is actually"

"I'll give a you pain killer and when it calms down you should have a warm shower it will help...Seriously Yaz...what ever possessed you not to tell me...I'm literally a doctor for all that"

"I don't know...my ex never believed me I had such pain. She never did, so she thought I was just milking it"

"God Yaz...us two are a right pair together" she said digging through the bag and got some pain killers out "Here...let me get you some water"

"I'm sorry...I didn't wanna fuck up the day even more by winging"

"Yaz Jesus ...you can never fuck up my day...here...drink this...You're not allergic to paracetamol?"

"No"

"Alright...they are qute strong, so they will help"

Yaz drank tablets and lied down again feeling like shit that she's creating more drama on top of all the drama they had that day. But Alex lied next to her stroke her tummy gently. It felt soothing. Also, released out of her tight jeans really did help her to feel at least little bit less pain.

"If you don't feel well it's alright...you don't have to be down there Yaz. Everyone will understand...nobody will get upset with you"

"Noooo...I wanna be there"

"Alright love...but have a little nap ok...we still have about hour and a half before everyone arrives...so you can be fashionably late" she kissed her cheek gently. Try to sleep now....you're tired and and it's been a long day physically and emotionally"

"Stay with me?" Yaz asked with puppy eyes

"Of course"

Yaz turned around leaving Alex's warm hand on her tummy and snuggled her bum slotting herself into Alex like a perfect puzzle. Alex kept cuddling her tummy gently until she fell asleep. All this loving attention was a welcome change from her previous relationship.
It was still warm in a room as a day was quite hot. So just lying without any cover felt cooling and comfortable as fresh evening  air  started to come through the window. She woke up after an hour feeling Alex's fingers running gently down her sides and over the curve of her waist. She had no pain anymore which was relief and she felt much better for sleeping.

"You're still here?" she turned around on her back smiling

"Where would I possibly be Yaz?" she asked confused

"You're so fucking cute" she wrapped her fingers around her face kissing her gently

"How do you feel...and I want honest answer...can't lie to a doctor Yaz"

She giggled running hands over her shoulders "Better...honest...no pain anymore. So I will be going to the party"

"You will?" She asked haply

"Absolutely ..in fact you're still in a towel and I'm in my nickers I really think we should start getting ready"

"You're probably right" she laughed

"Hey..."

"Mmmm"

"This is most I ever felt you next to me...it's nice" she smiled wrapping hands around her neck

"I am getting there...pathetically slow...but I will get there Yaz...It's not easy for me"

"We have time...I like this...I wouldn't want it any other way baby. I feel like we are getting so much closer...deeper and it feels nice. I don't want just passion...I want the whole package"

"Me too Yaz...I've  never had this before...and it means a lot you letting me discover all the little parts of it...you know...us...and you and myself...
I feel like this, I will always remember all the moments because they are slow and I don't feel like my head is spinning"

"I know...just us...right" Yaz said running a finger down from her forehead over her nose "I get to know little parts of you...like this little wrinkle and your little lines by your eyes...And you little cute birh marks"

"Your dimples when you smile...and the way you long lashes flatter when you look at me. And your bum wiggling at night"

"I wiggle my bum?" She giggled

"Yes...all night...it wiggles in my lap" she giggled

They fell silent and Yaz brought her hand at the back of Alex's neck pulling her in, kissing her gently. "We really should be getting ready" Yaz laughed

"We really should...we only got....aaaahh" she looked a ther watch "twenty minutes"

"Alright" Yaz giggled

"Go take a warm shower and I'll give another tablet before you go to bed"

"Alright baby"

 

….

Yaz came out of the bathroom and started getting dressed. At least her pirate outfit had a skirt and not trousers so that was a massive plus.

Alex knocked ob a door "Can I cone in?"

"Yes...I'm done" she said putting a hat on

Alex walked in wearing her One eyed Willy outfit making her laugh.

"OMG you look so sexy" Yaz said laughing "I'll make you wear this all the time" she giggled

"Uuuu lala my pirate lady..." Alex giggled and Yaz lifted her skirt showing her leg

"Let's go" she reached for her hand and kissed her shortly

As they were coming down the stairs they already heard voices and kids laughing. The kitchen was full of people and kids running around the house.

"Auntie Alex" one of the kids ram up to her and threw herself at her

"Ruby....oh waaw look at that pink hair Ruby" Alex crouched down

"Like it?"

"Love it..."

"Is that your girlfriend?"

Alex smiled "Aha...that's my Yaz..."

"She's pretty" Ruby whispered in her ear

"I know right...she's gorgeous...wanna meet her?"

"Yeah"

"Well Ruby this is my Yaz...Yaz this beauty with a the coolest  pink hair is my nice Ruby"

"Nice to meet to Ruby"

"Are you a pirate?"

"Oh yeah....we are all gonna be pirates" Yaz said

"We are?" Rubles eyes opened wide

"Sure we are...didn't you hear Ruby...there's a treasure in a garden" Alex said "I found this secret map the other day and I really need some help to find the treasure"

"You did?"

"Oh Yeah...found it in a library...in some really old book forgotten on a top shelf"

"Waaaaaw....can I see?"

"Sure...but let's find the others" she said taking her hand

"Hey girl" Olli came from the kitchen

"Hey you" Alex flew into his arms

"Oh I missed you so much" he kissed her cheek "One eyed Willy" he laughed

"I know I was so chuffed...got the kids pirate costumes as well"

"You alright?" he said stroking her waist gently

"I am...don't worry....Olli...thiiiis is my Yaz...Yaz my brother Olli"

"So nice to meet you finally...heard so much about you"

"Nice to meet you Olli"

"Come Yaz...let me introduce you to everyone" she grabbed her hand exited

She took it around introducing her to everyone. She met her other brother Edward, Oliver's wife Katie and their Ella 4 and Olivia 5, James' daughter Jessica 12 and little Jamie who was celebrating his third birthday. She felt overwhelmed with all the names, but Alex's family was so sweet and made her really feel like part of the family. Alex disappeared at some point dressing all the children in his costumes and then just made up for lost time by talking to them for a while in a corner of the garden. She went to get her camera and took photos of the children and her family. She then reached over to Yaz and pulled her away from Katie.

"Sorry need to borrow my girlfriend" she giggled pulling Yaz hand

"What's going on" Yaz giggled as she pulled her all the way to the pirate ship

"Jamie...C'mere" she yelled across the garden so loud Yaz laughed thinking they must have heard her three houses down the road "C'mere I need you take some nice photos of us"

"Nooooo" Yaz tugged her hand "Oh noo I always look like an idiot"

"You can't look like an idiot even if you tried Yaz"

Alex pulled her hand "Come oooon...pleeeease" she put her hands together walking backwards "You're my time line Yaz...I need my time line"

Yaz couldn't say no to that so gave in "Oh alright...you better photoshop me looking pretty" she giggled

Alex took their hats off and stood behind her wrapping her arms around her waist with a massive grin across her face

James snapped few photos then her sister yelled across the garden

"Kiss her!" Annie started yelling "Go on you two...we want a snog Alex"

Alex laughed blushing slumping her face into Yaz's shoulder

"Oh go on...you saw all of us snogging not fair Alex" Ollie said

"It's up to you"...Yaz said smiling looking at her over her shoulder

To her surprise Alex stepped in front of her and gazed at her smiling. She could see her being so nervous and shaking but she also saw she genuinely wanted to kiss her so badly.

"You sure about this?" Yaz said smiling

"Never been more sure" Alex said wrapping her hand around her face. Yaz smiled and brought her hand at the back of her neck and strokeing it as little insurance smiling as Alex slowly took her lips into hers.

"Goooooo giiiir!" Annie yelled

It was a short gentle kiss and they parted smiling resting their heads together

"That's gonna be a nice photo girls" James said

Alex was bright read in a face and couldn't wipe the grin off as she took the camera back.

She gathered all the children and took them on a treasure hunt. She made up a whole story about finding a map in an old book in the library and how it pointed to a treasure buried somewhere in the garden. The children completely believed the story, chasing her around to find clues. She then made Yaz pretend to be another pirate trying to get to the treasure first. Yaz laughed as she got down to their level sword fighting them and made Yaz walk the plank and swing on the rope yelling Geronimooooo. After almost two hours of pirate play they were exhausted and joined the adults letting the kids play alone. But Alex couldn't let go of little Jamie. She held him in her lap and caressed him. He was the cutest little creature ever snuggled up against her chest as he dozed because nine at night was way past bedtime for him. He played with her watch while his eyes were already half asleep.

"Alex" Jessica came over whispering

"Yes darling?"

She leaned over and whispered in her ear "Will you marry Yaz?"

Alex smiled and whispered back "I hope so"

"Can I be your flower girl?" she continued whispering covering her mouth with her hands

"I'm counting on it" she smiled
Jessica smiled and hugged her kissing her cheek then ran off haply.

Alex looked at Yaz who was talking to Anna and Katie and smiled at the corner of her lips. They were far from it, but Alex definitely hoped they were moving towards it.

Everyone left slowly as all the children were way past their bedtime and started to fall asleep on their parents laps. Alex suddenly felt a pang of sadness as she knew that she would not be able to see them all again until Christmas. It wasn't that they were that far away, but her job left her with very little free time to just go away for the weekend. And as autumn approaches, there will be more and more working Saturdays. She fell silent as she picked up the plates from the table, and Yazu didn't miss her sudden change in mood.

"Hey baby...you're sad we're leaving tomorrow?"

"Mmmm" she nodded
"We could do this again...it's not like they're in Australia"

"I won't have free days honey..." she turned to her with a sadness in her face "In autumn I'm working most Saturdays as one of the doctors is coming back from maternity...so she's having a free Saturday and I'm having a free Wednesday instead. So it will be very hard for me to pull it off"

"Can't you just swap the days with her...I'm sure if you ask her for it and explain you wanna see your family" she said stroking her back of her neck

"I can try" she stacked up the plates then turned around hugging Yaz tucking her face into her neck

"She will...cooome on...just one weekend a month...I'm sure she'll agree"

"I hope so...I'm just embarrassed to ask...she's having a baby and all that"

"Don't be embarrassed...it's just a question babe"

"I'm not good with that...I get so anxious"

"Well...I can casually come to pick up my girlfriend form the hospital and then just casually....absolutely randomly happen to be there...you know...just as you decide to ask her"

Alex laughed inti her neck "You would casually do that for me?"

"Absolutely...because I just casually happen to love you to bits....you know....just randomly I'm totally obsessed with you"

Alex giggled into her neck and placed a long kiss to the soft skin releasing with a pop then razed her gaze to her

"And I'm...just absolutely randomly totally in love with you so much I occasionally don't know where my head is from my ass"

Yaz giggled "Well, your head is here" she kissed her shortly and you ass is...I don't know Alex...where is your ass? Don't think I've seen it"

Alex giggled and reached for her wrist wrapping her arms around her back side then raised an eyebrow cheeky

"Aaaaa...waaaw...is that it?"

"Mmmm"

"Feels nice" she giggled "Bet it looks even better"

"Neah...small...bony mostly...totally not interesting...yours on the other hand is totally different level...looks nice...feels even better not to mention the rest of the package it's attached to"

"Waaawww...it think it just twitched from all compliments " 

Alex slumped her face onto her shoulder laughing "You're seriously crazy Yaz"

"So are we gonna continue grabbing each other's buts in your mums garden or we gonna finish this up and take that upstairs?" She laughed

"Take it upstairs...absolutely hundred percent take it upstairs Yaz" she kissed her briefly and they parted continuing to cleaning up.

"When are we leaving tomorrow?" Yaz asked lying in bed texting to her mum

"Around three...I don't want us coming home too late" Alex said as she was getting into bed and switched off the light "So...your place or mine?" she said snuggling into Yaz moving a thin strap of her top kissing her bare shoulder

"Your choice?"

"Yours then" Alex grinned looking up to her

"You really like my place?"

"And you really hate mine so it works well"

"I don't hate your place...don't say that" Yaz smiled

"My OCD is freaking you out...you're not yourself...you look like you don't know iff you're allowed to sit on my sofa"

"Oh...welmmmhs"

"Seee" she giggled

"It is sterile Alex...and the bathroom towels...how the fuck do you even fold them like that? Do you follow some instructions or what?"

Alex laughed like crazy into her shoulder "It's called being bored Yaz"

"I'm sorry...Your apartment is really beautiful but it does make me feel a bit intimidated"

"It's alright Yaz...I get it" she kissed her her shoulder and razed her gaze smiling "We could change it...you know...to make you feel better...we could go shopping...get some stuff"

"Are serious?"

"As a heart attack Yaz"

"You choose...I'm terrible with colors...What would you change?"

"I wouldn't change...just add to it...you know...make it look like you actually do live there and it's not a showroom...you know...get few cute cushions for a sofa...few decorations...nice fluffy blanket...candles...some cute containers for coffee and sugar to put on a kitchen top...there's legit nothing on it Alex...it's empty...it needs at least a fruit bowl ffs" she giggled

"See...this is why I deliver babies and you do design" she laughed "Deal...so how do I pay you?"

"In kind" she giggled "I'll take kisses for now and put the rest on a credit"

Alex laughed blushing hiding herself in Yaz's neck

"Back to your hidy hole?" Yaz giggled

She found Alex's shyness incredibly cute. But she also saw passion in her eyes that not even Alex was aware of. The way she looked at her before the kiss and the way she did kiss her so passionately. There was a fire inside Alex that never had a chance to burn and it was the most beautiful think ever for Yaz to see it slowly simmering.

"I can pay you in cheese" she said into her neck and Yaz absolutely screamed laughing then covered her mouth embarrassed that Alex's mum will hear them.

"Stooooop....your mum will kick me out" she laughed

"Neah...I think you have more chances of being adopted" Alex said into her neck and kissed it gently.

Yaz suddenly yelped in pain

"Yaz what's wrong."

"My stomach...just...aaa fuck" she slameed her eyes shut in pain frowning "Stubbing pain jesus...like someone literally drove a knife inside twisting it"

"I'm sorry...it takes time for the tablet to work...it's because you were laughing so hard...come on Yazee...try to sleep" she put her hand on her stomach stroking gently

"You cuddle me like you did earlier?"

"Sure I will Yaz" she said kissing her cheek

Yaz turned on her side and pulled her hand over to her stomach. Alex layed behind her kissing her shoulder and ran gently circles over her tummy. She herd Yaz sniffling and saw her wipe her face

"Yazee? Are you crying?"

Yaz turned around with a wobbly chin

"Does it hurt that much? Tell me where...show me?" she started lifting the duvet

"Noooo...I mean yes it hurts but that's not why I'm crying"

"I don't understand" frowned confused

"My ex wanted to go bike riding...you know like in nature on village roads. She was planning for weeks. But the day we had to go I got such pain I couldn't move. I begged her to move it to the next weekend. She told me to just take a tablet and I'll be fine. I said I really really  fucking can't cause I feel like I'm gonna legit pass out. Then it started...total circus...her telling me if I didn't wanna go I should've told her that before and not play sick and I'm just fucking her around"

"That's actually dangerous to do when you're ill like that...absolutely not recommended to do extreme sports if you're in pain like that... what the hell...please say you didn't go...oh and did I mention very selfish and manipulative from your girlfriend"

"No I didn't go...but that's not the point..."

"Than what darling?"

"All I wanted was for her to hold me" Yaz started crying "Aaaa for fuck sake...I hate my hormones....I'm a mess now sorry it will go" Yaz covered her eyes with her hand crying

"Hey hey...." Alex moved her hand "I'll hold you"

"I knoooow" she whined crying "That's why I'm crying silly"

"You're crying because I'll hold you?" She asked confused

"You silly goof" Yaz moved her hand and stroke her face moving her hair behind her ears "I'm crying cause I'm fucking happy that I finally have someone to hold me silly...it's why I fucking love you so much" she said kissing her shortly

"I'm not gonna just hold you...I'm gonna cuddle you to death Yaz" she smiled dotting kisses over her face gently lacing their fingers into the pillow then kissed her gently

Yaz turned back on her side snuggling. Alex slotted herself into her and it was the most wonderful feeling ever for her to feel like that.

"Nightie night my Yazee"

"Nightie night my beautiful" Yaz kissed her knuckles and then returned her palm to her stomach. Alex traced gentle lines with her fingertips exactly where the pain was and occasionally kissed the side of her neck trailing tiny little kisses down the crease. The most intimate and the most innocent thing at the same time. And that's exactly what made it so special.

 

….

It was time to leave. All the bags were in the car along with a large tray filled with all the food Charlie could pack for them. She also gave Yaz beautiful gifts, her handmade ceramic vases, one for Yaz's family and one for her. Both were illustrated with beautiful peonies which Charlie explained symbolized happiness, prosperity, love and good fortune. They hugged and kissed as if they had known each other all their lives, and Charlie caressed Yaz's face and made her promise that she would come again, especially for Christmas. Then Yaz sat in the car and her heart ached when she saw Alex tearfully saying goodbye to her mother. She cried inconsolably

"Please don't cry....please baby....Come oooon you have your Yazee...and we call each other every day...I'm not that far...and I'm coming for the baby soon"

I know...I know" Alex grabbed her wrists as her mum cupped her face "I hate this...I hate goodbyes...I..."

Charlie wipped her tears with her thumbs "Come on baby...you need to calm down. You can't drive like this"

"Alex darling...want me to drive for a while" Yaz asked through the window

"Noooo...I'll be fine...just need a minute...I'm  not used to this"

"I know baby" Charlie kissed her cheek "It's what happens when you stay at mum's house till you're 40" she giggled

"I know...old spinster..." she laughed a bit "You call me if you need anything...or money mum...I noticed that guttering has to be cleaned...please get it done you don't want leaks and just get them to send me the bill"

"Alex...it's fine...house is fine, I'm fine I got your brothers and your sister...we're all fine....Now come on...go get your lilly white ass in that car and drive"

She took a big a breath and kissed her mum one more time than finally sat in a car

"It's alright darling....she's coming in a week" Yaz stroke her neck "Bye Charlie...thank you for everything!" Yaz waived as they pulled out of the driveway

Unfortunately, as much as everyone in Alex's family was absolutely lovely and Yaz loved that part of the visit, what happened with Alex's father made her kind of relieved that they were leaving. Something she would rather die than ever tell Alex, but in her opinion Alex was better off in Sheffield as long as the man was alive and well. She couldn't help but think that if she ever ran into him again now that she knew the whole story, she wouldn't be able to vouch for her behavior. She also couldn't help but feel that this person being in Alex's proximity was asking for trouble. Iff she knew something for certain it was that people such as him, who harbour anger and rage for so many years, unable to let it go, are highly dangerous and unpredictable. And it could be just one bad day or one single word that would make them seriously hurting someone.

Alex calmed down ten minutes into the drive and turned  to her with her beautiful smile "Hey"

"Hey yourself" Yaz smiled "Feeling better?

"Mmmm...How's your tummy?"

"Better today...still hurts just not as much"

"Iff it gets too much to sit down tell me....we'll just take break...Or iff you wanna take a nap at the back...or I can lower the seats...mind you that's not safe iff I have to brake or...nevermind"

"I'm fine seriously..."

"Wanna hear the weirdest thing Yaz?"

"Mmmm...I'd do anything to have those cramps...it's crazy isn't it?"

"Oh believe me...you so wouldn't"

"Oh Yazee...I used be so jealous of my sister...I know it's painful and I know it's discomfort and you hate it and you need to push through it getting on with your life...I get all that...and I also know how many girls get absolutely traumatised by it...but to me...that's the essence of what I always wanted to be...in my mind it is beautiful...as far fetched as it may seem to you. It's wonder of nature...it's so so special"

Yaz turned to her and stroke her cheek "It doesn't make you any less of a women you know...there's many women who don't have it for many different reasons, illness, accident"

"I know...I know that" she looked at her smiling "But feels so nice to hear you say that"

"To me Alex...in my mind...it's what you are...Besides...body is only a shell for the soul...Like clothes you put on...you were just given wrong set of clothes and you said....Oi...wtf is this shit? Are you fucking kidding me?...I didn't order those trousers...I want a fucking refund"

Alex laughed like crazy...it was the weirdest and the most silly way of explaining, but in essence...that's exactly how it felt"

Alex giggled "Yeah, only I never got a refund...I had you cash out a whole new set " she laughed

"Well...as it is...I like what you bought" she smiles

"I hope so...it was fucking expensive" she giggled

"What did you do? You know...what does it take?...I probably sound a right moron asking this but..."

"Nooo..." she turned to her smiles "Don't be silly Yaz...Huh...a lot..many things you have to pay for yourself...some not, but most really....Right...so...this isn't like going and getting your boobs done...you stay there maybe one night and go home...this is a long process and it's not just body Yaz it's everything...It's the whole feeling about yourself that goes waaaay beyond of what you have in yoour nickers...this is what people mostly don't understand...it's also not same for everyone. Everyone has their own story, their own journey ...I can only tell you about myself"

"Iff you feel ok talking about it?"

"Yaz...I wanna tell you everything...what's the point of us being together iff you not gonna know half of my life...Then you're living with a stranger"


Slowly as they drove Alex told her everything and answered all her questions. Then Yaz fell silent...just looking through the window.

'You alright?....This was too much...it was wasn't it?"

"Nooo"

"Maybe I should've left out some parts there...sorry Yaz...told you....mmnot good in these things...did I freak you????"

"Noooo it's just...."

"Oh shit...yes surgery....Your dad said you're not good with that" she closed her eyes scrunching her face "Shooot.....and here's me going onto details....Why can't I just shut my gob?"

"Noooo!!!!...Fuck babe... noo...listen...it's not that...I'm just thinking...the things you need to go through...the pain to get to where you are...it's so unfair...all of it...the physical and emotional pain"

"Again Yaz...I can only speak for myself...I didn't care about the physical pain...I would put up with it anything...that didn't faze me...I wanted it so badly and I would do it all over again iff I had to...You will also never hear me complain about any of it...even stuff with my father because I'm the lucky one. For me things turned out ok in the end in every way...I had love, support and in the end money and proper health care to do what I did...I even got you in the end" she smiled  turning around "Many...many are not as lucky Yaz...many suffer still and many have died.
I know for you it's different...you take it too heart...but that's because you love me and for you it's personal. And that's ok. But believe me Yazee...I'm  the lucky one" she turned to her with a smile and brushed her fingers over her face "I love you"

"I love you too" she smiled "Thank you for telling me all of this...Though it did make me queasy when you were saying about the bottom surgery though" she shakes her head "Ufff"

"Oh, god sooooory..."

"That must really fucking hurt"

"You don't wanna know" she smiled "Hey...are you hungry? We can stop off have some food"

"Yeah and I have to go to toilet as well"

"Alright baby....I know a nice place ten minutes from here" she took Yaz's hand and kissed her knuckles "I'm so lucky to have you"

"Feeling is mutual" she smiled "Love ya"

"Love you too"

"Oh...your sister called me today" Alex said

"My sister has your number" Yaz started laughing

"Yeah" Alex laughed "I said she can call iff she has any questions..
Although I'm not her doctor...still sometimes it feels more comfortable to talk to someone who isn't your doctor"

"Why she call you?"

"Just asking about the baby and jaundice"

"Oh...yeah they're kept longer in a hospital...he really is yellow bless him...what is that anyway?"

"Infant jaundice is a common condition, particularly in babies born before 38 weeks' gestation....you know...preterm babies...and some breast-fed babies. Infant jaundice usually occurs because a baby's liver isn't mature enough to get rid of bilirubin in the bloodstream...but it's ok...he's getting better. They are going home next week. I called in to ask...she should be out by Tuesday"

"I can't wait to get my hands on that baby" Yaz said smiling "I'm gonna cuddle him to death"

"What's his name?"

"Prem"

"Aaaa that's a nice name...means loveable or affectionate in Sanskrit"

"How the fuck do you know that?" Yaz laughed

"Book worm Yaz...I just read anything"

"I mean it's a nice name...but my sister asked my sister wanted my nanny to give the name...you know since it's really a big thing...her first great grandchild...I don't know where did she come up with that name" she laughed "But it suits him" 

"I love it...short and sweet...Yaz"

"Mmm?"

"Do you want children?"

Yaz turned around smiling "Are we talking kids?"

Alex blushed "No..Immm...wellIma...just...wanna know"

Yaz giggled "Yeeees...told you...I want the whole package...kids with it..I wanna get married I wanna have a proper family"

"Aaaa...Goodie..."

"So we are talking kids?"

"Well...you know....not now...but just wanna know because you said you're scared of pregnancy and all that"

"I am...I'm petrified...but iff you could go through what you went through I'm sure I can get through giving birth" she went silent for a sec then leaned over cheeky flapping her lashes "So you thought about that?"

"Mmmmm...Oh....here we are Yazee...food and toilet"

Yaz kissed her cheek smiling "Love ya"

"Mmmmm....love you too"

 

….

They came home late. Traffic was horrible and by the time they exchanged cakes for Sniffles at Yaz's and then got to the apartment they were both completely exhausted and hit the shower to change into their pajamas as soon as possible. Thankfully they had food that Charlie packed up for them and some cakes as well so they opened the sofa into a bed enjoying a cuddle and watching Doctor Who. Yaz started from the beginning of the new era and for now Alex seemed to be glued to the screen. They went through four episodes in one evening so the show was a definite winner and making Yaz excited that this is something she will be able to share the enthusiasm for with Alex.
Sniffles missed them as well. He was on a bed purring amd wouldn't leave their side. Alex was also more than thrilled by the idea that he comes over to her place so Yaz was happy she wouldn't have to leave him alone from now on.

"It's getting late Alex...since when have you stayed up till eleven?"

"This is really good...can we watch one more?"

"I don't mind I can sleep but you're gonna die tomorrow?" she laughed

"One moooore pleeeease" she rolled over Yaz trying to grab the remote"

"Told ya...you're hooked" she laughed "Alright one more"

"Goodie..." she hopped out of bed and got the tray with cakes

"You're still hungry?"

"Mmmm...want some?"

"Noooo...I would legit throw up"

"Hey...I had an idea" Alex said settling inti bed again "When do you finish work tomorrow?"

"Around three"

"We could go to Next Home...go get some stuff" she asked slumping herself over Yaz grinning like a kid to her face

"Weeee coud...we totally could"

"They shut at nine so we have plenty of time and there's other places nearby so I'm sure we'll find some nice stuff"

"Alright baby...you got yourself a deal" she kissed her forehead...you're really fucking cute"

Alex scrunched her face "And you're just stunning"

"And you're just crushing my ovaries" Yaz giggled

"Oh, oh soooory...soooory...." she lifted her top and kissed her tummy

"Oh that totally compensates for it...keep going" Yaz giggled

"Planing to" true to her word she kissed her whole tummy then rested her head on her chest and continuing to stroke her hand over it

Yaz played another episode enjoying the cuddling running her fingers gently through Alexa's hair and over her shoulder down her arm. As they continued to watch the show just enjoying each other's company, Alex began to realize how slowly she had changed over the past few weeks and how much more relaxed and at ease she was. She increasingly enjoyed being touched and caressed without anxiety and panic. She was more comfortable exposing her body parts without fear of judgment or feeling the awkward shame of having someone's eyes on her
No matter how much she always wanted this body so desperately, it was hard to enjoy it without feeling self-conscious or uncomfortable. She always admired those who could proudly show it to the world while enjoying their new freedom. But she was not one of them. It was as if all the insults had left a permanent mark on her that she had difficulty moving. The only person she had ever seen fully unclothed was her mother. She was with her through the toughest and the most painful parts, she was her crutch, her carer, her protector, her safe place.
But slowly Yaz became her second safe. The unconditional love, understanding and patience was slowly but surely lifting the heavy veil of shame and pain. It felt liberating in so many ways. She learned to enjoy her hands and felt the desire to feel them more and more often. They felt safe, soothing, full of love and comfort. She found herself longing to feel her touch and yearning to touch her back. To kiss every part of the woman she felt loved her with every cell in her body. To her, Yaz was more than anyone could ever imagine..
She drifted so much into her thoughts that she missed half of the episode but it didn't matter because she knew Yaz was more than happy to watch it another fifty times. 

​

"She looked up with a grin"

"What's the grin for?" Yaz said and stroke a little wrinkle on her forehead

"I love this"

"What the show?"

"No silly...this...you and me"

"You do know I'm hormonal and this is gonna make me cry now" she laughed stroking her hair

"I know...sorry...I'm just so happy and I can't stop saying it...it's silly"

"No it's not...I was thinking the same...C'mere" Yaz opened her arms and Alex melted into her embrace wrapping her arm around her and resting her head on her shoulder.

"I'm tiered...I'm starting to fall asleep...can we watch this again tomorrow?"

"Sure, I'm falling asleep myself...it is late"

Yaz switched off all the lights and they snuggled up. Alex kissed her gently then tucked her head into her neck mumbling "Wanna come for lunch tomorrow?"

"Absolutely"

"Weeeeee" she said haply into her neck and pressed the kiss to it "Love ya"

"Love you too"

Sniffles settled at the bottom of the bed purring and after few minutes of silence Alex spoke again

"Yaz"

"Mmmm?"

"You know the kitten I was gonna adopt before we met?"

"Yeees"

"Well some people gave up on her so they contacted me again saying I can iff I want  to"

"Are you asking my permission to adopt a cat?" Yaz started giggling

Alex razed her gaze "Well, we live together now so..."

"Say that again"

"Say what again Yaz?" she scrunched her face confused

"That last bit about living together"

"Weeeee live together now" she said sheepishly thinking at this point that maybe she should've worded it differently but Yaz pressed her lips at hers so hard and squeezed her face between her palms it made her laugh

"We live together?"

"Well technically...sort of...kinda we do"
Yaz's eyes became teary and her chin wobbled "Hormones...told you...all I do is cry" she said sniffling moving hair from her face

"Sooo...can we adopt a kitten? She's really cute"

"Yes...absolutely I think Sniffles could do with some company...do you have a picture?"

"Wait" she reached for her phone and scrolled through the photos "Looooook" she turned her phone

"OMG....what a cutie"

"It is isn't it...it's actually a girl"

"So when can we get her?"

"This week I just need to fill out all the paperwork...they already came to check my place and I got approved"

"Alright...let's do it"
"Goodie...we can pop to a pet store tomorrow get few things and we will need one more cat litter box...and I saw this awesome thing for them to climb on..."

"Alex"

"Mmmmm?"

"We can absolutely do all of it tomorrow but my brain is half asleep I can't think no more"

"Oh...sorry...she smiled kissing her again them put the phone back on on a side and snuggled back into her neck "Yazee"

"Mmmmmmmm" she replied already half asleep

"I really...really...really love you"

Yaz giggled to the cuteness of it "I really, really, really love you too baby...and I'd love you even more if just sleep now"

"Alright...night night"

"Mmmnight"

.

….

Alex picked her up after work and they headed to the home store. When they arrived, Yaz went to the pillow and blanket section and walked around looking at the selection. She found a beautiful vintage green cushions that would definitely lift the sofa and matching fluffy blanket. Alex continued to scrunch her nose picking up various things more fumbling around the store like a child than anything else. Then suddenly became fixated on a large piece of art. It was a tree of life made of cut metal pieces in all earth tones. Each leaf was individually cut and welded together mounted on a large wooden base. She stood there completely mesmerized by it, and Yaz noticed out of the corner of her eye. She came and stood behind her

"You know that would look awesome in a living room" Yaz said

"It's stunning" she smiled "there's something about it...like it speaks to me Yaz"

"Well get it then...it's so beautiful"

"Look how the leaves at the bottom are dark...then they go light and beautiful full of colors and life at the top...it's like my life Yazee...from darkness to light" she turned to her overwhelmed

"That's beautiful...go on...pack it in a trolley...it's going home" she smiled "Also...look...matches the cushions and a blanket I just found"

"OMG so it does"

"You know what else we need?"

"What?" she asked haply as they were loading it into the trolley

"Some cute candles to put on a coffee table...we can find some nice colors from chocolate to vintage green and all different sizes and some nice tray to put them all on it"

"Brilliant! I love candles...can we get some that smell nice?"

"Babe you don't need to fucking ask me...choose what you want"

"Well, I want both of us to be happy...some people don't like smelling candles it's too much"

"Well I do so pick what ever you want...come on let's go"

They ended up getting quite a lot of little bits and pieces then went to a pet store where Alex lost it on another level. Buying stuff that their now joined cats did and absolutely didn't need.

"Babe they don't need another bed" Yaz took it out of her hand and put it back on a shelf

"But for the bedroom"

"Sniffles sleeps with us Alex...they will not sleep in a bed...trust me"

"What about this?" she wiggled a little bouncy ball on a stick with tassels

"You got three of those already"

"Alright then" she pouted her lips dragging herself towards the till then popped one more toy in a basket without Yaz noticing

At the end Yaz had to drag her out of the store. They picked up Sniffles on a way and headed to Alex's apartment.

"No...no..more to the left" Alex said as Yaz was holding the picture up against the wall "Just tiiiiiiny bit up...yes...Brilliant ...don't move Yazee" she stepped on a sofa and marked the wall with a pen

"This is gonna look so fucking nice" Yaz said passing her a hammer and a nail

"Oh waaaaw...Alex...this is beautiful...come here"

She jumped off the sofa and stood in the middle of the room. "OMG...that's absolutely beautiful Yaz...and all the other stuff....look at this..."

"I know, right ...told ya...see now that's the nice apartment" she slipped her arm around her waist

"Nice enough for you to...I don't know...maybe spend more time in it"

"Babe it's your apartment of course I wanna spend time in it...but now it looks really...really beautiful...like you actually live in it"

"That's not what I mean"

"Then what? You're confusing me" Yaz looked up at her frowning

"Well, I don't know..." she sat on a sofa "I know we still not properly...you know...well we are together and all that but we haven't just yet...but I know I know that won't change stuff and we practically live together already"

"Alex...Alex...stoop"

She did...she went absolutely quiet freaking out completely

"Are you asking me to live with you?"

"If that's what you would like Yazee...but if it's too much I understand if you're not ready..."

Yaz launched at her jumping at her so hard they almost tipped the sofa straddling her and squeezing her face between her palms

"Is that a yes?" Alex asked with squished face

"It's a big fucking yes...big biiiiig biiiig fucking yes" Yaz practically yelled "And I don't fucking care about sex...well I do but we'll get there...I know what I want Alex...and I know it's you. Nobody but you" she said stroking her face

Alex wrapped her arms around her with the biggest smile across her face "And I know I want you Yaz...I want you around me all the time I never want this to stop"

"Me neither baby...me neither" she said closing her eyes and melting into a long gentle kiss "You sure you want all my Doctor Who stuff here?" she laughed into her lips "Might seriously disturb your OCD" she giggled

"I don't care as long you're here...besides...I like Tardis...Tardis is cool...we will find a nice neatly place for all of them"

Yaz laughed "Well you can put them in order of the Doctor's if you want" she giggled

….

 

Yaz started packing her apartment literally the next day. Alex was bringing boxes after work and the plan was to pack as much as they can. She took few days off so she could do most during the week while Alex is at work. She also decided to give a lot to charity as well. Her phone rang and she picked it up jumping over the stuff on a floor

"Hey mum"

"Hey darling...you are going to the hospital?"

"Yes yes...definitely...mum...I have to tell you something...that's why I called you"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing...nothing is wrong....actually it's all perfect...Alex and me are moving in together"

"Oh...but I thought you already live together Yaz...what you mean is you will live in one place instead of two"

Yaz started laughing and sat on a sofa "I suppose so...well when you put it that way"

"Well Yaz you've been technically living together all this time...you know when you sleep in a same bed every night that's what it's called"

Yaz couldn't stop laughing "I knoooow..."

"I assume in Alex's place"

"Mmmmm it's bigger...though I still have this one till the end of next month so it's no rush to move...I'm just taking some personal stuff for now"

"Alright darling...get on with it and I'll meet you in a hospital"

"Alright mum"

She hang up the phone and continued packing. There was a part of that will always cherish the moments her and Alex spent cuddling on a sofa and watching the movies and waking up in a morning seeing her standing over the stove making breakfast. This will always be their first apartment in Yaz's mind. But she was also exited for the future. It was a big step regardless of their sleeping arrangements till this point. It still felt like a step forward and it felt so right.
Her phone rang again it was Alex

"Hey gorgeous...How's it going?"

"Oh god Alex...it's so fucking hot...I'm dying...but I'm getting there" she said huffing and puffing and went to the kitchen to get some juice out of the fridge

"I had a thought"

"Mmmm"

"The purple sofa?"

"What about it?"

"How would you feel iff we transport it to my mums house? I'm so emotionally attracted to it I can't let it go"

"Really?" Yaz smiled

"Yeah...I mean...it's our sofa Yaz...and we can still have it"

"Alright" she giggled "I suppose we could...then we still keep it in a way"

"Yes...I mean Ollii can rent a van and move it for us"

"Ok..I like that..."

"Briliant...it was really bugging me Yaz "

"You're so fucking cute you know that"

"I have to go now..my patient is waiting just wanted to say that....love ya"

"Love you too" she said smiling and puffing hair from her face and kicked some stuff with her foot so she can get to the bathroom

 

….

It was so hot Yaz opened all the windows of her car as her air-conditioning was faulty. She wore a light summer dress with open back but she felt herself gluing to the car seat. She saw her mum standing in a shade in front of the building and beeped

"Hey mum...sorry it's boiling in a car...what the fuck is going on with this weather I just want it to rain"

"It should tonight" Najia said sitting in a car

"Thank fuck for that...I can't take this anymore...hey look at the back...Alex got something so cute for the baby"

"Did she?..."

"Yeah...we actually got a rocking chair...but that's at home for when the baby comes home....you know the one with all the music and stuff"

"OMG that's so adorable" Najia took out some baby clothes Alex bought baby onesies and some cute socks

"I know right...she went gaga on a baby section" Yaz laughed

"It's really nice of her...I can't wait to meet her mum. She seems lovely"

"Oh Charlie is wonderful...really...her whole family is. They made me feel so welcomed"

"I love the pottery she makes...it's beautiful"

"It is...her house is so cute....she's proper artist"

They walked through the hospital main entrance and went upstairs chatting. Yaz was exited to see the baby again. Although she could only see him through the glass.

"Hey girl" Yaz smiled as they walked into the room

"Hey" Sonya smiled "I was wondering where you two were...time passes so slow I can't wait to get home tomorrow"

"Look what Alex got you" Yaz gave her a bag and kissed her cheek

"Oh she's so lovely Yaz...she comes to see me every morning"

"Whaaa? She didn't tell me that" she giggled

"Yeah...every morning she comes to work she comes to see me. She even got me some bananas the other day and some juice"

"Waaaw..." Yaz said totally taken back and couldn't help but feel really proud "How are you doing? You still in pain?"

"I am but it's easier...went to toilet all by myself today. Also look...I finally have big boobs" she laughed

"Enjoy whiles you can" Nadjia laughed "I can't wait to get you both home"

"Oh you and me both...I even miss dad's cooking"

As they came out of the room Yaz texted Alex

"Hey Alex and me are having lunch across the road. Wanna join us?" Yaz asked her mum

"Thanks hun but your dad is picking me up we need to go food shopping. You have a nice time"

"Alright mum...see ya" she kissed her cheek and walked down the hallway waiting for Alex

She was standing on corner by the stairs and almost hit the ceiling when Alex came up behind her poking her waist with her fingers.

"Hiya" she smiled "Need a cherry Coke?" she giggled

"You silly sod" Yaz laughed and hugged her

"Hey gorgeous" Alex kissed the side of her head "You look pretty"

"Not as pretty as you" Yaz smiled and slipped her hand around her waist kissing her cheek

"How's it going with packing? I'm sorry I can't help" she said apologetically scrunching her face

"Babe it's fine I don't expect you too. You're working"

"I'm so chuffed Yaz...you're moving" she said chirping reaching for her hand

"I know...go figure...I was thinking today. You know my flat will always be our first flat" she said rubbing her head against her shoulder

"I know...there's a part of me that's sad Yazee...I love that apartment. But it's so small...we really need something bigger"

"I know...but I will miss looking at you from the bed making omelet in your nickers" she laughed

"I can still make omelet in my nickers Yazee" she laughed "Didn't think it makes you so happy"

"You have no idea" Yaz smiled cheeky as they went into the elevator

 

….

Yaz came out of the shower and put on some shorts and a strappy top. She came to the living room and walked around the bar to Alex who was cooking dinner.

"Hey baby...thanks for doing that" she said with a yawn and ran her hands down her waist kissing her back

"Don't be silly...you're tired. Hey...why don't you lie down. Have a nap I'll wake you up when it's done" she said then pouted her lips demanding a kiss making Yaz smile

"Alright baby...love ya"

"Love you too"

She lied down cuddling Sniffles who was still confused about the new place. Some of the boxes were already in the bedroom waiting to be unpacked. Alex was more chirpy than she'd ever been hopping around the kitchen but Yaz fell asleep curled up on a sofa within ten minutes.

Alex called her mum whiles cooking eager to share the news

"Hey mum"

"Hey baby...why do you whisper?"

"Yazee is asleep on a sofa, don't wanna wake her up...hey guess what's new mum?"

"You're getting married?"

"Nooo mum" she blushed "Not that it's not on my mind though" she giggled looking over towards Yaz "Buuuut Yazee moved in"

"Baby...your Yazee was already moved in...you were just hopping between two apartments like two dummies" she laughed "But I'm glad it's official" she laughed

"Her mum said the same thing" Alex laughed "But for me it's different...now she's mine"

"Oh baby...she is yours...very much so"

"Oh oh...also...we have this really cute purple sofa from Yazee's apartment that we reeeeally don't wanna give up on...can we maybe...possibly...have it at yours...in my room?"

"Of course you can Alex. You don't need to ask me that. It's always gonna be your room as long as I'm alive so do what you want with it"

"Weeeee...Alright...I'll call Olli he can transport it for us...it's no rush...we have one more month with Yaz's apartment before handing in the keys"

"Alright baby"

"Did you call for guttering?"

"Nooo ..I will tomorrow I promise"

"Alright mum...I have to go now...I think food is done"

"That's ok baby...love ya"

"Love you too"

"Oh Alex"

"Yeah?"

"Jamie is not leaving his tent by the way...he slept in it last night"

"Awwwwww....come oooon that's just beyond cute"

"I know he is isn't he...Alright baby go now...bye"

"Bye mum"

Alex took the food out of the oven and placed it on plates then walked over to Yaz. She kneeled down next to the sofa and kissed the tip of her nose gently

"Yazeee..." she said quietly

"Mmmmwha"

"Food is done"

"Mmmmm" she opened her eyes yawning "Smells nice" she smiled pulling Alex hand "C'mere...give me a cuddle" she nudged her hand to lie next to her and draped her leg over her side "That's better" she smiled

"Yaz" Alex said wrapping her fingers around her face

"Mmmmm?"

"You moved in" she grinned

"I fucking have" she giggled rubbing her leg on her hip "I'm so happy..."

"I'm positively going gaga Yaz...I never thought this will ever happen to me"

"Well it is" she smiled and kissed her haply

"Let's eat before it gets cold"

"Yes...I'm starving"

 

….

They ate and snuggled on a sofa doing the same thing they did in Yaz's apartment. Opened it up into a bed and brought the pillows from the bedroom then dimmed the lights and played more episodes of Doctor Who that Alex was totally hooked on now.
Yaz lied behind her running lines down her arm and kissed the side of her head. She did it for while before Alex took her hand moving it underneath her pajama top leaving Yaz gasping for air. She didn't make a big deal out of it just continued cuddling her tummy that was warm and soft and it felt like heaven.
Alex's heart pounded like drum and she felt herself losing her breath but then she felt butterflies in her stomach as Yaz's fingers ran gently down the center of it then stopped right by crease of her breast moving down again.
She closed her eyes and found herself floating towards a place she had never visited before. It was beautiful and addictive. For the first time, she didn't feel anxiety, shame or fear... she only felt loved. She opened her eyes and wiggled closer to Yaz then turned on her back with a dreamy look in her eyes

"You alright?" Yaz whispered

"Mmmmm" she nodded smiling "Don't stop" Alex said bringing her hand at the nape of Yaz's neck

"I won't" she kissed the tip of her nose watching her close her eyes

"Mmmm....it feels nice" she said pulling her in.

Yaz kissed her gently one kiss following another then dotting her face with her lips running her knuckles over her bare stomach rolling her hand over it gently "You're beautiful...so beautiful to me" she whispered and saw a tear run down from Alex's closed eyes down her temple soaking into the pillow. It made Yaz's heart blead. Then she opened her eyes dreamy and smiled again

"I love you my Yazee" she said brushing her fingers over Yaz's lips and she kissed her fingertips

"Love you too" Yaz said smiling

She turned to her side again holding Yaz's hand on her stomach and wiggled closer to her closing her eyes as Yaz's  lips pressed on a side of her head. She snuggled back and continued watching the show cuddling her.

Alex woke up in the morning realizing they fell asleep on a sofa their legs tangled together and Yaz's hand draping over her chest, her face fallen into the pillow and her beautiful curls spreading over her shoulders. She looked so beautiful that for a single moment Alex couldn't believe she was truly hers. She felt elated like never before, and truly happy. She watched her with sleepy eyes and smiled from the corner of her lips then checked the time and realized she didn't have to get up for another hour and a half so she turned on her side wiggling across the bed closer to her. Yaz mumbled and without opening her eyes slipped her hand over Alex letting her settle into her arms and tuck her face into her chest lacing them together like their fingers would when they held each other's hand.

"Mmloveya" Yaz murmured closing her arms around Alex pressing her to her chest.

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