Charlie got up early as usual. She was still in her dressing gown when she went down to the kitchen and turned on the kettle, then proceeded to prepare a rich breakfast. Eggs and sausage with some baked beans and toast. She glanced at the garden as she took the plates out of the cupboard. The snow was falling thickly, and a perfect white carpet covered the grass, only small red berries peeking out from the frosted branches, and she noticed two tiny birds trying to get food from the feeder Yaz had strategically placed near the kitchen window. The house was warm and cozy, and the living room hot from the fire she lid in the fireplace as soon as she got up. Breakfast was ready so she started to set the table when she heard a car in the driveway and a few moments later the door open

"Hey mum!" Alex yelled from the hallway, and she rushed to great them

"Charlie!" Yaz smiled from the door as Alex was helping her to get her coat off

"Hey sweetie" Charlie rushed to hug her "Oh you look so pail darling" she stroke her face gently "How are you?"

"I'm fine, just tiered"

"Hey mum" Alex kissed her cheek "She needs to sit down, she's very weak"

"Of course. Made you nice breakfast, you'll get your strength back, you'll see baby" she said lovingly and kissed her cheek

"Thanks for that mum...She's starving...hospital food is shit" Alex crouched down taking Yaz's boots off

"Thank you so much for coming over" Yaz said

"Don't be silly, where else would I be. Come on, let's eat, then you can have a rest. Alex set up the sofa for you, nice and comfy"

"God mum, what would I do without you. Nadja is coming after work. She said not to bother with lunch, they will bring the food over" she said as they walked into the kitchen.

Yaz wasn't in pain, she was just very weak and dizzy, and the small stitches from the surgery were more uncomfortable than anything else. But the smell of food restored her strength, and she couldn't wait to sit down.

"You alright sitting at the table sweet pea?"

"Yeah, I'm fine for now. Waaaw look at that...Can you move in?" She giggled

"I know right" Alex smiled kissing her mums cheek and grabbed the piece of fried bacon from the plate over her shoulder "You did use Yaz's sausages?"

"Of course I did, from the second shelf, right?"

"Yap"

"Oi!...Stop stealing and sit at the table" she smacked her fingers as she went for one more piece of bacon

"Yes ma'am" she laughed and went to the fridge to get some juice

"So tell me, what did they say in the hospital? When is the biopsy gonna be done?"

"Should be on Monday" Alex said and put the juice on the table "It's gonna be fine" she kissed the top of Yaz's head and sat at the table

"It better be cause I'm shitting myself " Yaz said

"It will be." Charlie said "We should stay positive until we have something to worry about. Otherwise, you make yourself go mad"

"Easter said than done" Alex said

"How do you like the house Charlie?" Yaz smiled

"I love the house...Here, give me your plate love"

"Oh this is gorgeous...Proper food finally" her eyes sparkled at as Charlie filled up her plate.
"You have a gorgeous garden. It's gonna look lovely when you fix it in spring. I can give you some of my roses and some other stuff"

"OMG that would be great mum. I'd love that"

"I love the wedding photos you finally framed them"

"Finally" Alex smiled "The one by your roses is my favorite. And the one with the whole family is so beautiful. I love it"

"I'm not gonna be able to go to the con now and we missed your Christmas dinner" Yaz looked at Alex with tears in her eyes

"Heeey" she reached for her hand across the table "There's gonna be other cons...and I wasn't thrilled with that Christmas dinner anyway, you know that"

"But you bought tickets and everything"

"So? You being home is all I care about" Alex kissed her knuckles "Go on, eat your food sweet pea you need to rest."

"She's right you know. You getting better is all that matters. Fuck the con now, there's gonna be plenty of them. Ollie used to go at least 3 times a year."

"Did he?"

"Oh yeah. He used to love it"

"And you didn't know what TARDIS was when I met you?" Yaz laughed at Alex

"I knoooow" she scrunched her face "I knew it was some show he loves but I never played attention. I loved my pirates" she smiled silly

Yaz rolled her eyes laughing

Alex's phone rang and she got up to get it from the hallway
"Oh hi Nadjia"

"I'm calling Yaz but..."

"Oh sorry, her phone is still in the bag we just came in ten minutes ago... Give me a mo I'll pass her over"

"So when do they take the sticking out?" Charlie asked

"Not sure..."

"Yaz darling it's your mum" Alex passed her the phone and sat back at the table

"I was just asking Yaz, when is the sticking coming out?"

"It's not, it biodegradable"

"Bloody hell, that's advanced."

"It's only a small cut mum...like this" she showed "tiny. It's done laparoscopically"

"What's that?"

"They go in with this long instrument, it has a camera, they do what they need to do and go out"

"In my days she'd be in the hospital for weeks"

"Thank god it's not like that anymore. This will heal fast, outside faster than the inside. But in a month, she's gonna be as good as new"

"That's one good news...poor little love, she's been through enough." She said getting up

Don't...sit down. I'll wash up"

....

As Evening came, and her family left Yaz was exhausted. Charlie was cleaning up the kitchen and Alex helping her into bed.

"Sit here sweet pea, I'll help you get changed" Alex said sitting her on the edge of the bed

"It was nice...you know...everyone getting together again. Shitty reason but still nice"

"It's not a shitty reason. You're home...that's a good reason...Arms up...slowly"

"It hurts a bit"

"I would do, you had a long day."

"When can I shower?"

"Not yet, next week"

"I'll stink by then"

"No you won't" she laughed "You can still wash just not go into the shower or a bath...Stand up and I'll hold your jimjam you just step into it"

"Can we do it tomorrow?"

"Course we can" Alex smiled softly and planted small kiss to her forehead "You'll see by the next week you'll be as good as new"

"You're not just saying that are you? Cause you can be honest with me."

"Yazee" Alex shook her head and pulled her pajamas on "Why would I lie to you?"

"I don't knooow..." she threw her top on the bed frustrated

"Turn your head darling, let me do your hair"

"It's fine...leave it"

"It's no bother...Let me plat it, you know it gets all tangled"

"I don't fucking care...leave it"

"Yazee...what's wrong?"

"Nothing...It's just...The last thing you needed now is this shit on top of everything else."

"Don't say shit like that"

"Ma" she shook her head and looked down "I'll be alright, I'm just tired. I had enough...sorry...I'm in pain and I'm grumpy. It's alright, I can take it from here"

"Baby...Hey look at me" she wrapped her fingers around her face lifting her gaze "Things happen, it's life, we deal with it, together. This isn't your fault, and I don't wanna hear it."

"Alright" she rolled her eyes

"Noooo I'm fucking serious about this Yazee." She cupped her face between her palms "This is nothing, just a blip. You're not a problem, you're not a burden...ever. Not to me...not ever...Got that?"

"Yes" she said quietly as tears rolled down her face and her chin wobbled

"I love you, and things are gonna be fine. Alright sweet pea?"

"I'm scared...what if the biopsy...?" She frowned and burst into tears

"Oh baby.... C’mere" she pulled her onto her chest and closed her arms around her. She felt her shaking as her hands gripped tight to her waist "It's nooot...It's gonna be alright, you'll see."

"Promise"

Alex swallowed deeply and tangled her fingers threw her hair "I promise sweet pea...love you so fucking much"

"Love you too" she lifted her gaze and pressed her lips to hers "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it out on you" she stroke Alex's face gently

"I know...we're gonna be fine baby, you'll see." she smiled "Come on...tablet and bed...Today was a bit too much for you, you need to rest.
I'll spend some more time with mum then I'll come up."

"I feel so bad about her sleeping on a sofa"

"She's fine don't worry about it. She prefers it cause of tv" she giggled "Now I know it's silly but I'll leave the baby monitor here"

"You're joking right?" She laughed

"No I'm not...You need to pee or anything you call me. Not having you passing out in the bathroom. Seriously, don't you dare going anywhere alone. Doctors orders"

"I'll cry if I need a bottle" she laughed pulling a duvet over herself

"It's not funny" she smiled

"It's bonkers and you know it" she laughed

"I think it's a brilliant idea"

"You would do" she laughed giving her short kiss

"Night, night"

"Night sweet pea...I'll come up soon"

....

Alex closed the bedroom door and leaned against it. Her eyes wondering over photos on the wall as her mind played a cruel game on her rolling the worst case scenarios through her head and she was fighting against it. She exhaled and walked down to the kitchen. Her mother was putting last things away into the cupboard and she glued herself to her back closing her arms around her.

"How is she?"

"Not sure" she rubbed her face into her mums shoulder then pulled away and sat on the kitchen top "Tiered, scared...Can't blame her I'm shitting myself just trying to keep the smile on my face but I feel like I'm gonna throw up"

"Wanna beer?"

"Yeah, I do actually" she laughed "Are we getting pissed tonight?"

"Might as well" she laughed passing her the bottle "You remember we used to do this?"

"Yap...I miss our late night chats"

"Me too"

"I miss a lot of stuff...A bit sadistic when you think about it considering I had such shit time when I lived there. But I miss small stuff...our stuff"

"Sometimes I think we should've moved"

"Did you ever think about it?"

"Yes, when I got divorced. But things weren't so easy back then. Not enough jobs, recession. House was worth shit and they were hardly gonna spread a red carpet out for single mum with bunch of kids. I knew I couldn't get a job anywhere"

Alex pursed her lips "You did the best you could mum"

"I'm just happy you all made something out of yourselves...You should go to bed, get some sleep"

"I should" she slipped down from the kitchen top and hugged her mum "Thanks for being here"

"You won't lose her"

"Promise"

"I promise...stop thinking crap and go to bed. Hug your wife"

Alex chuckled and pressed a long kiss to her mums cheek "Love ya"

"Love you too...go get lost"

....

"Hey sweet pea, did you write it?" Alex walked into the living room putting a jaket on. She was going shopping with her mum. They were in a desperate need of a new freezer and food was running low.

"Yap, I'm sending it to you. Don't forget crisps"

"I won't. Sure, you're gonna be fine?"

"I'm sure. Toilet is right over there, and I have enough here to keep me for a week" she laughed.

The coffee table in front of her was filled with everything from tea, water down to every single snack.

"Alright baby, see you soon" she leaned down giving her a short kiss

"Love ya"

"Love you too. Call me if you feel dizzy"

"I will...gooo" she chuckled

"Muuum! I'm done!" She yelled from the hallway

"Bloody hell Alex, they can hear you to Manchester. You're yelling like you grew up in a castle" Charlie rushed down the stairs

....

"So, first freezer then food shopping" Alex said as she drove up to the main road

"Nooo...freezer, lunch then food shopping"
"Alright miss Daisy" Alex chuckled

"Thanks for that chat last night. I'm just on the edge with everything since that shit with dad and I got the court in January, I'm not looking forward to that"

"Can't you just give the statement without seeing him?"

"I'll try mum. Believe me I don't wanna see his fucking face"

"I'm sure you can. Just write off to them."

"I will...I already spoke with Jamie's lawyer about it. It's just.... I dunno...even thinking about it makes me cringe"

"I know baby. Let's just hope they put him away for a very long time"

"And then I can get waisted" she giggled

"You and me both."

....

"Look, this is ok?" Charlie pointed to the freezer "It's on action and you got 5 year warranty"

"I got all the appliances under insurance anyway mum"

"Well, that's alright then"

"It will do...I don't really care to be honest. As long as it works. Whiles we're here let me just look for something else. Yazee keeps banging on about the pancake maker. I thought I would get it for her. It's gonna make her happy"

"What the fuck is pancake maker?"

"It's like round hot plate for making pancakes. You know like the once you see on food stands, only this one is for home"

"Waist of money if you ask me, but if it makes you two happy go ahead"

Alex laughed and draped her arm over her mums’ shoulders "It makes her happy, she doesn't know how to flip them in a pan. Come on let's find it. Do you need anything?"

"No... don’t you dare spend your money on me"

"Like you're gonna stop me" she laughed kissing ger cheek

"I'm gonna slap ya, is what I'm gonna do"

"I'm shitting myself mum" she laughed

....

Yaz was enjoying her time at home after spending three days in the hospital. She was nice and cozy on the sofa enjoying a BBC drama when the doorbell rang, and she slowly got up. When she sat down there was no pain, but as soon as she stood up, she was reminded that she was still recovering.

"Hang on, I'm on my way!" She yelled

"Take your time" Sonya yelled from the other side

"Hey" she opened the door finally

"Hiii babe." Sonya hugged her from the door "How you're doing?"

"Better. Less dizzy when I get up"

"You got your color back"

"Yeah it's all the food they're stuffing me with" she laughed

"Go and sit down. Wanna a tea?"

"Yes please. They're above the sink on the left"

"I got some cakes" she lifted the bag haply

"Yeees. Where's Prem?" Yaz asked as she sat back down and switched off the telly

"With dad" she said from the kitchen "Mum's working late today. She's got some business dinner with a client. Where's Alex and Charlie?"

"They went shopping for freezer and some food"

"Freezer?" She asked confused

"Yeah it croaked off last week."

"Oh noo"

"I knoooow...as iff we don't have enough expenses"

"It always happens when you least need it"

"To be honest it was old anyway. Remember it was the one I got second hand when I moved out?"

"I thought it was Alex's"

"Nope, she never had one. Just freezer compartment inside the fridge"

"Oh"

"Yeah so it was on its last legs to be honest. Don't get me wrong.... We’re fine, I just get freaked sometimes that we're spending too much with this house and everything"

"You can't think that way Yaz. It's not like you two are pissing money out on stupid stuff. You don't go anywhere or do anything...It's ok to spend it on the new house. And maybe Alex does go a bit crazy sometimes...But she's just finally happy and compensating for years of being chronically depressed and lonely...I get that. You can't just work and not enjoy life"

"I knoooow...but we always struggled and it's something that is always at the back of my mind"

"I know but chill out. Enjoy girl. You just got married and you're living your best life....I'm jealous" she laughed

Sonya made some tea and put cakes on the plate bringing everything on the coffee table.

"Do you need to go to toilet?"

"No babe...but thank for the offer" she smiled "Hey... C'mere" she opened her arms and Sonya fell into her embrace

"What's the hug for?"

"Do I need a reason? " she laughed

"No"

"Well, then.... just take it and shut up" she laughed
"That's more like you...please don't go all soppy on me you're getting me worried. Oh, let me show you kitchen I found for my future place."

....

After buying the freezer, Charlie and Alex sat down for lunch. It had been a long time since she had lunch with her mom, and she enjoyed every minute of it with her. While she waited for her mom to come back from the bathroom, she quickly texted Yaz to check on her, then flipped through the menu

"Anything interesting?" Charlie asked sitting back at the table

"Loads, pork rolls in dill sauce with mash potatoes sounds yummy"

"Uuuu...might have that myself...tell you what I'll have the same and we can share the salad"

"Sounds fine to me"
"Alex...there's something I wanna talk to you about"

"Mmmm?" She mumbled, still looking at the menu "What mum?" She lifted her gaze

"Have you considered...that perhaps Yaz isn't gonna be able to have a baby after this?"

Alex looked down at the menu and pursed her lips. Then after short pause replied quietly "Yeah...I have"

"And?...I know you don't wanna talk about it, but it's something that's been in a back of your mind for the past 20 years"

"I knoooow" she closed her eyes for a second and twisted the edge of the menu nervously then looked up again "Yazee's health is my priority...as long she's ok..."

"Yes I know Alex, that goes without saying, but you have to consider that it may not be possible now and that you may have to consider other options...just saying honey"

"I knoow"

"I'm not trying to scare you or burst your bubble Alex...But I rather you hear this from me then get all excited and then hit the wall."

"I know that mum."

"Nothing would make me more happier than you having your biological baby but that may not be the option now. And I know how exited and carried away you get"

"I get that. I'm just trying to take it all one step at a time. I'm still worried about the biopsy and all that. I'm kinda going out of my mind." tears streamed down her face and she inhaled deeply

"Heeeey, hey...Don't cry" she reached for her hand across the table "I'm sorry baby but you know I'm always gonna say it as it is."

"I knoooow...you're brutal, you know that?" She chuckled wiping her tears

"Life is, but you know that more than anyone...I'm just trying to hold a net for you"

"I just wanna a break...I'm just...I'm finally so happy...it's just that...It's always something and I'm fed up with it. I don't wanna lose it all mum...if I lose it...I'm gonna...I can't..." she burst out in tears

"Don't...you're noooot Alex...It's gonna be fine. You have a whole life in front of you. And things will sort themselves out. With Yaz and that idiot and you will have a baby one way or another...I'm sure of it...I'm just trying to ease off things...cause it may not be exactly how you planned it...But it will be...Me and my big mouth...I'm not tactful but..."

"I love you" Alex squeezed her hand

"Love you too."

"I don't know what I'd do without you"

"Oh I don't know...be lost and miserable"

"Thanks..." she giggled "Come on...let's order..."

....

Monday morning Yaz got woken up by the smell of breakfast climbing up the stairs. Not something she was used to but nevertheless very welcoming. Having Charlie around also made it easier to deal with her anxiety whilst waiting for results. With Alex working it would mean spending a lot of time alone and she knew her mind would play up on her. Each day she felt better, and pain was a lot lesser, her strength was slowly coming back to her which was one positive thing in all of it. She no longer needed help getting dressed and going down the stairs wasn't so scary as her dizzy spells were gone by now. She put the dressing gown on and slowly came down to the kitchen.

"Morning" she smiled

"Aaaaa...morning honey. Sleep well?"

"Yes" she leaned over kissing her cheek

"Sit down, you're just in time"

"Smells nice. I'll miss this"

"You got some post" she put it on the table

"OMG I feel like a Queen" she laughed "Do I get the morning paper as well?"

"Yes ma'am...Of course ma'am. How would you like your eggs ma'am?"

"Hard boiled please"

"Right away ma'am"

They both laughed as Yaz passed her the plate.

"You're gonna eat with me?"

"Yap...I just got up. I ended up watching telly till almost two in the morning I didn't even hear when Alex got out"

"Me neither. I woke up around eight, had a wee and just rolled back to sleep. Oh, did you see my wonky vase on the fireplace?" She pointed proudly

"I did...Goes nice in here. We can do something else when you come again"

"Yeah, I'd love that, I was thinking..." Her phone rang and she looked at Charlie petrified "It's the hospital"

"It's gonna be alright" Charlie took her hand gently

"Hello, Yes it's me" Yaz answered the call "...right...ok thank you" she hung up and her chin wobbled "I'm alright" she burst out crying opening her arms and hugged Charlie around her waist

"OMG..." she kissed top of her head as Yaz cried her eyes out burring her face into her and squeezing her tight "It's alright baby...Let it all out"

"I was so scared"

"I know you were....we all were...But you're fine now" she cupped her face gently "All nice and healthy, ha...Go on...call Alex and your family honey."

She wiped her tears and took her phone with a shaking hand

"Jesus I feel like a ton of bricks fell off me" Charlie sat down

"Here...have one" Yaz slid her cigarette box across the table laughing

"Alex"

"Hey sweet pea, everything alright?"

"I'm fine...baby I'm fine"

"Whaaa?"

"The hospital just called...there's nothing wrong with me..."

Alex leaned against the wall and exhaled. She suddenly felt light as air as if the waight of the whole world got lifted off her shoulders.

"Alex? Can you hear me?"

"Yeees" she said through tears "I love you so fucking much"

"I love you too...Just get your ass home ASAP" she giggled
....

That evening the atmosphere in the house had drastically changed. Burden of the past week replaced by laughter and a feeling of relief on everyone's faces. Playing a board game has proved to be so much fun that everyone forgot about how late it was.

"Oi, you're cheating" Alex slapped her mums fingers as she was moving her pawn across the board "Five not six"

"I was there...one, two three..."

"No you weren't...Yazee tell her"

"I'm not getting involved"

"Whaaa?....You're my wife!"

"And you're my opponent. It's in my interest she puts you back in the house"

"You little piece of shit"

Yaz laughed as Charlie knocked her out of the way.

"I'll remember that" she leaned in her chair and took the glass with juice "I'm toast"

"Honest Alex, you're such a sore loser" Charlie laughed

"And you're a cheater" she pointed a finger at her

Yaz rolled the dice and got six. She moved haply across the board to the finishing line "YEEEES! WINNER!" She gloated

"Bloody hell it's almost three" Charlie looked at the kitchen clock

"Fuck" Yaz laughed "This was fun"

"I'll be knackered in the morning" Alex got up and started putting everything away "Come on sweet pea, bed."

Finally in bed Alex switched off the light and spooned behind Yaz

"I was thinking...I still wanna go to your mum's for Christmas"

"I'm not sure you're up for travelling yet"

"We can make stop gaps. It's not that far baby.... come ooon...it's gonna be fun. You know you wanna go"

"I do wanna go, I'm just worried it's gonna be too much for you"

"It's not. I feel better" she turned around in her arms "Pleaseeee" she dropped the pleading kiss to her lips twisting a lock of Alex's hair through her fingers

"I can't say no can I?"

"Nooo...Come oon you're dying to go"

"That's not the point"

"Go on...say yes" she playfully kept kissing her

"Oh alright then" she giggled

"Yes!"

....

The week before Christmas passed quickly. Yaz felt much better and even started working for a few hours every day. On Friday night, she was home alone, waiting for Alex to come home from work. Dinner was in the oven, the kitchen table full of presents and wrapping paper. They were planning to leave early in the morning and Alex had no time for anything. So Yaz took it upon herself to wrap them all up ready for the next day. It was quite a task considering the size of Alex's family. The cats had fun stepping over the paper and playing with the ribbons. She packed all the bags although this time it wasn't much because they were only leaving for two nights. Alex worked most weekends so she could have this one off.

"Oi, give me that" she took the ribbon from the cat and kissed her forehead "cheeky monkey"

She heard the car in the driveway then the key in the door moments after.

"Hiya" Alex chirped from the hallway

"Hey babe"

"Aaaaa... I was gonna do that today"

"I'm almost done."

"Thanks for doing that" she leaned over kissing her shortly "it's pissing down"

"I can hear it. All the snow is gone" she pouted

"I knoooow...how stupid. Now when I want it the most...Mind you, better rain than snow for travelling" she said taking the plates out

"Any babies today?"

"Yap, three...two boys one girl. I'm there for new years...I'm hoping I'll have a first baby in UK in a new year"

"Did you ever?"

"Nooo...but it be cool if I did....What's for dinner?"

"Shepherds pie"

"Uuu yummy....I'm starving"

"I packed all the bags" Yaz said rubbing her face on her shoulder blade "...you just need to bring them down"

"Alright sweet pea" Alex smiled and reached for her hands closing them around herself "Tiered?"

"Mmmm....I am actually. I think it's tablets. They're knocking me out. And I still feel a bit bloated"

Alex turned in her arms and kissed her forhead gently

"When this is over...you take me on a date?"

"Cheese date?"

Yaz giggled into her chest "Yeees"

"Deal"

....

Hey look what found" Yaz grabbed her phone from the nightstand

"What did you find sweet pea?" Alex covered herself with a duvet and snuggled up to her

"Look...can we get that...for cats?"

"What's that?" Alex frowned confused looking at her phone

"Rollers to go up the fence so they can't go outside the garden"

"Aaaaa....that's clever. I can have my uncle put them up"

"I'd make me feel a lot better knowing they're not gonna go up to the road"

"Alright sweet pea...If it makes you happy...I think it's great idea. It is a bit nerve racking I must admit.... Come on...sleep now. You gotta rest"

Yaz put the phone back on the cabinet and closed her arms around Alex. After about a minute Yaz broke the silence

"Alex?"

"Mmmmm?" She said sleepily resting her head on her chest
"Can we talk about something?"

"What's wrong?" She frowned lifting her head

"Nothing...why would anything be wrong?"

"Cause it always is when you wanna talk about it just before we go to bed"

"Nothing's wrong" she pushed her head down again "It's just that I've been thinking"

"About what"

"Baby"

"Whaa?" Alex lifted her head again

"Keep still" she pushed her head back down again

"Yazee...can you make it clear before I start making assumptions I will regret"

She laughed rolling her eyes and ran her fingers through Alex's hair. "You know what they said to us...In the hospital...About not sure if I'll be able to have baby"

"That's not what they said Yazee..."

"I knoooow...but they can't be sure can they...and what if it happens again...What then?....So I was thinking...when I get better...you know...in few months time...I thought we go and get those solders of yours..." she kissed the top of Alex's head and Alex looked up at her then sat up and switched on the lights.

"Whaaaa?" Yaz frowned

Alex sat up and turned towards her "Are you serious?"

Yaz lifted herself up and leaned against the headboard "Like a heart attack" she reached for her Alex's hand

"Yazee..."

"Yes baby?"

"I don't want you doing this because of me...Cause if that's why you're doing it that's so wrong in so many ways...I don't expect you to..."

"I want it"

"Yazee...just a month ago you..."

"Just a month ago I thought I have all the time in a world. Then suddenly I thought I have no time at all and it scared the fucking shit out of me...And now...I just don't wanna waist time..." she laced their fingers together and looking down at their hands "If this ever happens again Alex and then I can't..."

"It won't baby" Alex brought her hand to her cheek and cupped it

"You don't know that..."she looked up with tears in her eyes "if it did...I'd never forgive myself" tears rolled down her face and she inhaled deeply "So...Alex Sigma...will you make a baby?" She smiled

Alex choked as tears rolled from the corners of her eyes "Hell yes" she nodded smiling and pulled her into a kiss

....

"I'm done!" Alex yelled from the driveway

"Can you shout louder so the whole street knows we're leaving?" Yaz said closing the door

"Oh...didn't think about that" she scrunched her face closing the booth

"No shit sherlock" she laughed "Right, mum's coming tomorrow to feed the cats I closed the cat flap...Sure we took everything?"

"Yap...Ready to go" she hopped around the car haply

As soon as they got onto the highway Alex started munching on snacks. Weather was serving them well for the trip with rain holding off, the road was dry and the trip quite pleasant.

"Pass me the sandwich please" Alex asked

"You just ate the whole bag of crisps?"

"I'm hungry"

"No shit" she laughed "I'll need to pee"

"I can stop off on a petrol station. There's one soon"

"Pleaseeee"

"How you're doing sweet pea?" She brushed her hand over her knee

"I'm fine don't worry"

"We'll have a little rest you can lie down in the back if you wanna nap a bit"

"I'm fine for now. I'll have one when we arrive"

"Alright baby. I can't wait...It's existing.... Our first Christmas" she glanced at her with a massive grin across her face

"I knoooow...I can't wait to see Charlie's house"

"Aaaarh it's like magic you'll see. All down to special Christmas cutlery."

....

They arrived early afternoon. As Alex was parking her mother was already waiting at the door. Alex came out and rushed to hug her.

"Aaaarh...I could crush ya" she smiled

"So happy to have you here" Charlie stroke her cheek and Alex

"Me too" she smiled softly

"Hi there" Yaz opened up her arms

"Heeey darling...how are you?"

"Better...much better"

"You look tired" she cupped her face between her palms "I got some nice soup for you"

"I could do with that"

"Come on...leave it Alex.." she said as she opened the booth "Come and eat something first"

"Don't need to tell me twice" she shut the booth and rushed to the house

"Waaaaaw' Yaz stopped at the door. Her eyes opened wide at all the decorations

"Told ya" Alex said proudly

As they walked through, she was trying to keep up with everything. From garland wrapped all the way up the staircase to the Victorian Christmas pictures on the walls and as they walked through to the kitchen every known detail has been changed. The pottery on the shelves she was familiar with now replaced with Christmas once
Kitchen curtains and chair cushions now cream with small holly pattern. Pots with Poinsettia decorated the windows, big cookie jar on the countertop in the corner. Even the kitchen towels matched the curtains.

"This is bloody amazing!"

"See...cutlery" Alex winked pointing to the set table

"Here take this" Charlie passed the hot soup bowl to Alex "How was your trip? Was it raining"

"Noo, cloudy but no rain. The left light on the car is messing about. I'm gonna have to look at it"

"Talking about that...I'll need a new car"

"What's wrong with your car?"

"Everything Alex...It's old" she said sitting at the table

"My dad's mate is a car dealer." Yaz said "He might be able to help you"

"That would be awesome. Cause I got no clue about cars."

"I do...we'll find you something nice mum"

"Oh, this is gorgeous" Yaz said sipping the soup

"I've prepared your room. You should rest a bit after lunch"

"I will...it's pulling a bit...the stitches. I think from sitting down"

"No Yazee, it's because it's healing."
"Oh"

....

Back in their room Alex sat at the edge of a bed and Yaz stood in front of her in her underwear.

"Looks fine. It's almost healed." She said looking at the stitches and placed a gentle kiss to the side of her stomach "But not from the inside. So be careful" she said pulling her underwear back up

"Yes doctor" Yaz giggled ruffling her hair "I'm knackered" she yawned

"Have a nap. I'll go down help mum with food" she lifted her gaze gliding her fingers up and down Yaz's waist

"Yeah...I might do...I'm glad we came" she tucked her hair behind her ears and stroke her hair gently

"Mee too sweet pea. Just take it easy tomorrow."

"Oh I thought I get waisted and dance the whole night" she laughed

"Pisshead"

....

After a quick shower, Alex joined her mom who was in the middle of making a cake. It was something she and her sister often did together, especially at Christmas when their mother needed extra help. The smell of melted chocolate, cinnamon and freshly baked biscuits spread throughout the ground floor.

"Is that ok?" Alex asked as she was stirring the hot chocolate over the fire

"Yeah, you can start dipping the cookies now."

"Alright...Ollie told me they're moving"

"Yeah, they just decided last week."

"Maybe they'll be closer"

"I hope so, that's the plan"

"I'm jealous.."

"You have a beautiful house"

"I do, I just wish I can teleport it here"

"What in my garden?"

"Now that's a fantastic idea" she laughed

"Eddie's got a new girlfriend"

"Really? Since when?"

"A week ago"

"...Aaaannnd?"

"I haven't met her"

"Is she coming?"

"She's invited, not sure." Charlie shrugged

"Aaaannnd? Go on, give me more info"

"She's a schoolteacher. Works in Helmsley primary."

"That's nice. What's her name?"

"Jess. They met through app... I’m still weary of that to be honest."

"Everyone meets on apps now."

"Well, yours was a disaster"

"I'm a special case mum. And I become a bumbling idiot. I can't wait to meet her."

After finishing the first batch of biscuits, Alex transferred them to the kitchen table to dry out.

"They look nice" Charlie inspected "Except these...they're meant to be angels...what a mess" she frowned

"They look like Casper" she laughed "You should leave them for Halloween"

"I was making a birthday cake for Olivia, she wanted Little Mermaid to take to school. Katie got some lighthouse cake mold but when we baked it, it looked like a massive dick." She laughed

"Bloody hell mum" Alex burst out laughing

"It was a right fucking mess...We had to ditch it and order a proper cake...Right...I think this is done" she walked to the oven and took the tray out

"We're having a baby" Alex blurted

"Ha?" Charlie looked at her confused

"I mean we're not...not now...when Yazee gets better. We talked about it. She wants a baby" she said excited

Charlie kept quite for a moment fiddling with a sponge cake she just took out of the oven whilst Alex anxiously waited for some response

"Don't explode from excitement" Alex couldn't help to remark her palpable silence

"How come change of heart?..." she asked then suddenly turned around "Alex you didn't..."

"I didn't I swear!..." she jumped "Nothing to do with me. I didn't say one word I swear"

"Really?" She raised her eyebrow "Cause if you did..."

"I didn’t...Jesus mum wtf?"

"Then how come suddenly Yaz wants a baby?"

She pursed her lips and sat at the table "It freaked her out....She's worried it might happen again..."

"I can understand that. But you're not gonna like what I'm gonna say"

"No I'm not...I can see that"

"I knew you're gonna take this the wrong way" she shook her head turning her back on her and wiped her hands

"How am I supposed to take it when you look like you're constipated

Charlie rolled her eyes with a huff then walked over and sat at the table. Alex just sat there disappointed rolling a random crumb over the table with her finger.

"I'm worried about Yaz Alex. I'm worried that she's not emotionally on the same page as you and that she's making decisions out of panic. What she went through is not easy."

Corner of Alex's lips twitched in response, but she still kept quiet. Still avoiding looking up.

"She's scared, she's worried and she doesn't want to disappoint you, Alex. She knows how much you want this, and she's probably scared she's not gonna be able to give that to you."

"I knoooow" she said quietly then finally looked up at her mother "I did say that to her...But sometimes things change mum. I never thought I would ever marry someone after few months...and I did...Sometimes things happen, and it changes how we feel." Her eyes filled with tears

"I just wish you slow down sometimes, that's all. I'm worried that one day you're gonna crush into a wall"

"Not with this..." she nodded "Other things, maybe. But not with this."

Charlie inhaled deeply "C'mere you" she pulled up her chair and pulled Alex into a hug

"I love you"

"I love you too"

....

Christmas eve everyone gathered in the kitchen. House was packed out with adults and children who ran around the table then to the living room anxiously waiting to open up the presents.

"Soo, we got something to tell you" Alex beamed nervously taking Yaz's hand underneath the table

"Go on..." Yaz smiled "You're dying to say it"

"Go on Alex we haven't got all day" Ollie said

"Oi!" Charlie threw a candy at him

"When Yazee gets better we're gonna try going for a baby" she grinned

"Waaaaa?" Annie jumped

"I knoooow right" Yaz smiled

"Yaz how much did she pay you? Admit it" Jamie laughed

"Fuck off!" Alex laughed

"That's a great news, so happy  for you both " Ollie's wife smiled

"Hey mum you'll need a bigger table, cause when she starts nobody's gonna stop her" Eddie said

"Oh nooo..." Yaz pointed her finger "She can choose just one soldier that's it"

"You better check your solders Alex, they've been frozen forever" Ollie laughed

"I hate you" Alex threw a piece of bread at him and Yaz just couldn't stop laughing

"What solders?" Ruby asked confused 

Everyone burst out laughing and Yaz almost choked on her drink

"Nut crackers darling" Annie said

"OMG" Alex choked up

"I didn't wanna see that" Yaz said

....

After dinner kids rushed to open up presents and started playing with their new toys. Yaz was sitting on the sofa playing with kids. Ollie's wife Katie sat next to her.

"Hey"

"Hiii"

"How are you darling?"

"Better...getting there"

"It's scary"

"It is...honest it was never even at the back of my mind something like that could happen to me."

"Tell me about it.... Made an appointment myself as soon as I heard. I'm glad you're better. Grait news about the baby. Exited?"

"Yeah" she nodded "Another thing I didn't think it could happen...yet" she laughed

"I heard your new house is beautiful"

"Oh it is...I finally have a garden"

"We are selling as well"

"Are you?"

"Girls are getting bigger, we want them to have separate rooms now when Ella starts school next year"

"Makes sense"

"Also, Ollie is doing better at work now as well"

"Alex told me...he's done really well for himself. I started working with Alex's uncle"

"Oh did ya?...That's brilliant"

"Sorry..." Alex interrupted "...can I steal my wife for a second"

"Sure honey"

"Mum's taking photos" she turned to Yaz

"Of course" Yaz laughed "Sorry, I'm being kidnapped" she giggled as Alex pulled her hand

"Go on...stand here by the fireplace" Charlie pointed

"Here?" Alex asked

"A bit to the right...Wanna show the garland...that's it...smile...Look at you two...it's beautiful"

"I love it" Yaz said

...