It was early Friday morning and Clara was getting ready for work. Yaz was still sleeping, and she was trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake her up because it was her day off. She was taking her out on a date today and she wanted to make it special to make up for all the fear she put her through last weekend
She hadn't asked much in the past week since the incident and Clara wondered why. She half assumed it was simply shock. This was definitely not the way she was going to tell her.
If she was truly honest with herself, as much as she desperately wanted to say everything she would also be perfectly happy to say nothing at all and just continue living the life she absolutely adored. It came as a much needed brake that was long overdue. She was beaten, tortured and exhausted mentally and physically to the point where she had to stand still, just for a moment. And how she imagined that moment was this. Standing by the lake in the middle of nowhere holding Yaz looking at the sunrise, making love to her for hours lost in her arms. But that's not what her life was, and her shadows would never let her. They were inevitable and Kate knew it, that's why she said what she did to Clara.She was one of those people who had them herself and understood all too well the desperation of trying to balance the two worlds.
There was so much more she needed to say and she was painfully aware that sooner or later she would have to deal with it. But she tried to live in the moment of what they had, while they still had it.
She brushed the hair away from Yaz's cheek and watched her beautiful face nestled peacefully into the soft pillow. It was one of the most beautiful things to behold, as beautiful as stars and planets being born. She pressed her lips into her silky hair and pulled the duvet over her bare shoulders before leaving.

Yaz sat in a kitchen having her tea and crumpets on her usual favourite place right by the window looking outside into the garden. She was happy to have a day off but she was sad Clara wasn't going to be around for most of the day. So she planned to meet her sister and do some wedding shopping. Her sister already chose a dress from the same store where Yaz picked her wedding dress from but she needed shoes to go with it. Their nanny gave them both beautiful jewellery she brought from Punjab as young woman. It was belonging to her mother before and went back several generations. Her nanny kept it in special box and only allowed them looking at it in her presence when they were little saying how one day it will be theirs on their wedding day. Little did her nanny know that she will not only be marring a woman but also an alien from some other world. A concept that Yaz was trying to get used to and make sense of in her brain. It was one of the reasons why she hadn't asked any questions because in some bizarre way she felt like she already knew all the answers.
Yaz would go back many times to that rainy day when her trousers were wet and she was shivering from the cold and the woman's voice seemed to speak to her soul.
She would also go back to that day in the car park of a pub halfway to Oxford when Clara's fingers brushing her face made her shudder and lose herself in her gaze.
Their first kiss when her knees buckled in her hands. Or on their first night together when her lips touched her skin for the first time and when looking at her bare in front of her felt like a dream.
Clara had always felt like a part of her that was lost, someone who slotted into her perfectly,  figuratively and literally as if they belonged together from the very beginning. They both knew it from the first day they laid eyes on each other. There was some invisible bond between them that only the two of them could feel, it wove around them as if the universe itself had brought them together, made them for each other. So, in her mind she already knew Clara, or rather every single inch of her, and this thing didn't change at all. Whoever Clara was, in her mind it was the same person she fell in love with, the person she held in her arms every night, and she didn't care about the rest. The rest were exciting, intriguing layers of Clara that she was happy to discover and she was sure that more she would discover, more she would love her. What worried her much more was that the woman she loved was troubled. She wondered if she was running away, and if so, from what. Was it her past or someone who tried to harm her or both. Yaz didn't know. The only thing she knew was that they were in this together now, and whatever that was, she was ready to to take it on.
Her phone rang and it was Clara. She set a ring tone Katy Perry E.T and made Clara choke on her tea when she relased what she's done.
The truth was Yaz took it all as easy as breathing same as everything else connected to Clara from the moment she met her.

"Hey love...missed me already?"

"I always miss you Yaz...going out with your sister?"

"Yap, she needs shoes for the wedding"

"Ok, just wanted to remind you we are leaving at seven"

"You told me three times and sent me a text babe" she laughed

"I know...just needed excuse to call you really..."

"That's adorable..."

"You know me...adorable all over babe"

"And hot and sexy and I need to stop now because I'm gonna start licking my phone"

"Ewww Yaz...please don't do that do you know many bacteria is on that phone"

Yaz cracked up laughing "I have to rush now babe...I'm late. Love ya"

"Have fun...love you too Yaz...seven remember"
Yaz laughed rolling her eyes "I know babe seven...miss ya. Bye love"

"Kisses!"

Yaz still laughed picking up the keys from the kitchen top.

 

….

 

 

"Yaz you really need to choose a venue you know" Sonya said as they sat down for a coffee

"I know and we will...just need to look a bit more"

"What do you want girl?"

"Beach would be nice" she smiled dreamy

"In England?" she frowns "Seriously?"

"Brighton is nice"

"Hardly tropical Yaz"

"But it's romantic..."

"Oh god" Sonya rolled her eyes "...ok you want me to look?"

"Help please..."

"Alright I'll put you both on WhatsApp group and send you some stuff. What's Clara gonna wear in the end"

"She found something in that store but I have no idea what. I just know it's blue"

"Nice...Well that's ten points in nanny's book for her going traditional" she laughed "Yaz what about her family?"

"She doesn't have any Sonya"

"You're joking right?"

"No I'm not...she's got no-one babe"
"OFMG that's so sad Yaz" she dropped in a chair and then had a thought "Well, she's got us now" she smiled

"OMG Sonya...that's  the most beautiful thing you ever said  to me...she does babe and she's so happy about it I can't tell you. She's got dad father's day present can you believe it....braces" she laughed

"OMG...that's fucking greit" she cracked up laughing

 

….

 

Yaz parked up and saw Clara's car. It made her happy she was home earlier.

"Hey babe...I'm home" she heard voices from the kitchen "Babe?"

There was a man standing in their kitchen and turned around as she walked in. Had a massive smile on his face when he saw her

"Yaz darling..." Clara smiled walking over to her kissing her temple "This Dan my very good mate"

"Hello, Yasmin Khan nice to meet you Dan"

"Yaz, It's so nice to see you" he came over and hugged her leaving her looking at Clara confused over his shoulder. But Clara just smiled all happily

"Hiiii...Yeah nice to meet you" she said confused

"Dan came over from Liverpool. Quite a surprise Yaz" she was beaming "Would you be terribly upset iff we move our thing for tomorrow and we all go out for a meal together tonight?"

"No love it's fine absolutely fine" she said placing shopping bags on a counter

"I'm sorry I didn't know you had plans I would..."

"No seriously it's fine...it's Friday...we can go tomorrow" Yaz said "It's really nice to meet Clara's mate. So how do you two know each other"
Dan turned to Clara for an answer and she stepped in immediately "We used to travel together...and worked together...work travel...travel work" she smiled

"Oh, that's nice...So I'm gonna go and get dressed. I see you're ready?" Yaz placed her palm on Clara's chest leaning on her smiling

"Alright darling" she kissed her forehead and Yaz went upstairs

"You alright Dan?" she said worriedly leading him to the living room

"Not really. This is not easy"

"I know, I'm sorry" she looked at him full of compassion. She knew exactly how he felt all too well "I'm glad you came though" her bottom lip wobbled a bit and Dan pulled her in for a hug

"C'mere" he squeezed her tight "I'm so glad you're happy Doctor. That's the most important thing, hey?" he pulled back and lightly brushed his finger over her face. She gazed back at him her eyes filling with tears "Cheer up Doctor...Things are good and they will stay that way this time...You'll see" he nods smiling

"You are coming for the wedding Dan!" she pointed finger at him

"Are you kidding me Doctor?" he smiled sitting on a sofa "Wouldn't miss it for the world. She's beaming"

Clara smiled "She is...we both are...She's swearing a lot as well" she laughs "...right potty mouth I tell you...She even told me to fuck off can you believe it?" Dan cracked up laughing

She walked the room with hands in her pockets "Strange ha...how life goes"

"Did you go anywhere...you know with the old box?"

"Nope...not this time...I'm not risking anymore"

"Miss it?"

"Sometimes...then I look at her and I don't...Never thought I'd say that" she grins

"Never thought I hear you say that either" he laughed

"How long did it take you?"

She scrunched her face "Ahhh ... not that long couple of years"

"How many is couple?"

"57 years, 6 months, 23 days"

Dan put his hands over his face shocked "Blimey Doctor"

"Neah" she waives her hand dismissing "It was worth it" she nods

"I don't know how you do it? I'd go bonkers honest"

"I am bonkers Dan...What are you talking about" she laughed

"Hey...I'm all done" Yaz came into the room in cute blue evening dress to her knees "Not too much..right?"

"Absolutely not, you look adorable Yaz" Clara smiled

"You look very lovely Yaz" Dan said

"Thanks Dan" she smiled "Shall we then?"

 

....

 

"So, Dan where do you work?"

"In a museum in Liverpool. I'm a tour guide. My wife works there as well Di"

"That's interesting. So one day when we visit we have a personal guide"

"Sure thing Yaz...any time I'd love you to come and visit. You Yaz? Still in a police?"

"Oh, I see Clara was talking about me" she glanced at her smiling "Actually no, not anymore. I'm working as a security in shop. It's just temporary until I think of something else"

Evening was flowing nicely and Yaz got to like this new friend. He was nice and kind and she felt like she'd known him forever. They kicked in few sentences and laughed bantering.
But evening was coming to it's end and they dropped Dan off to the hotel and were on their way home.

"Had a nice time?" Clara asked driving back

"Yeah, I like him...he's sweet"

"Yaz darling, you haven't asked me anything since what happened"

"No...and I won't either"

Clara glanced at her shortly "I thought you wanted to know?"

"I do. I want to know everything about you, where you come from why are you here, what you did, places you've been to and people you met. But I also want this to be on your terms and not mine"

"I don't understand Yaz"

She turned towards her gazing at her gently "I want you to tell me when you're ready to tell me love. Not me probing you. Told you we have a whole life to figure this out"

Clara gulped and placed her hand on her leg giving her a gentle smile "I love you Yasmin" she turned her gaze back on a rode "I love you so much"

They came home and Clara reached for her hand seamlessly lacing their fingers as Yaz came to the kitchen.

"What?" Yaz turned smiling

"C'mere here" Clara pulled her in slipping her hands around her waist and kissing her gently then just gazed at her in silence

"What love?" Yaz said stroking the back of her neck "Bedroom?" she giggled

"Mmm" Clara scrunched up her nose "Definitely...but in a minute"

"You being romantic on me?"

"Maybe..." she smiled cheeky and lifted her up on the counter wrapping hands around her waist then gave her a little smile that always melted Yaz's heart. She spoke calmly and quietly gently rubbing hands over Yaz's back "I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous...My real name isn't Clara it's the Doctor. Clara was my old friend I cared about very much"

"Whaaa? Just the Doctor?"

"Mmmm" she laughed "It's cool...don't you think?"

"I suppose so...unusual though. So what do I call you?" she frowned confused

"What do you want to call me lovely?"

"You're Clara for me" Yaz said tucking hair behind her ears. She was hoping she wouldn't have to suddenly call her a Doctor because it just seemed like a title not a name.

"Alright..." she shrugs "Then I'm gonna stay that for you" she kisses  the tip of her nose "I'm a Time Lord love I can regenerate my body"

"What's a Time Lord?...No wait...regenerate...is that what it was..."

"Yap...there's more to it. But that's all I will say for now...slowly lovely. I don't wanna clamp you with all at once. There's soo much of it Yaz"

"Alright darling" Yaz brushed her fingers over her face gently gazing at her eyes getting lost in them "I really love you Clara with all my heart"

"I never doubt that Yaz...ever. I just hope that things you will find out won't change this what we have. Because then I rather you not know"

Yaz cupped her face and pressed a small kiss on her lips smiling gently "Nothing can change how I feel for you. Nothing ever will"

"It's not that simple Yaz. I don't want to go back to my old life, there will be plenty time for that.
I want this one...and it will be tempting, believe me for both you and me....But my old life is unstable, unsafe and unpredictable and I can't deal with that with you in it" she brought  hands  to her cheeks and cupped her face gently
"I need this what I have with you now. Do you understand that beautiful?"

"I do...I do understand. Look...I don't know what happened to you, but I can put two and two together Clara. What ever it was it's still bothering you. And that day in Scotland I told you and I meant it. I will never push you to say or do anything you don't feel comfortable with"

Yaz stroke her face gently gazing at this face she loved with every par of herself "I want this life with you...in this house, you and me as we are now. I don't need anything more. It's all here for me...everything I ever wished for and more. It's you that I want love, I don't care about anything else belive me"

"I don't deserve you"

"Yes you fucking do, you daft woman. Now take me to the bedroom"

"Mmmm...not sure Yaz...need to think about it" she smirked and Yaz grabbed the waistband of her trousers pulling her in

"Think faster!!" she smiled and kissed hard...

 

...

 

A month flew by Yaz without her even releasing that it did. It was April already and mid May will mark six month anniversary of her and Clara being together. It was moving faster than Yaz's brain could catch up with. The wedding was closing in as well and her sister managed to finally find a beautiful venue for them. It wasn't the beach and it wasn't Brighton either. It was Yaz's favourite place in whole world right now, her beloved Oxford. Place where they first kissed, where she first fell in love with Clara. It was Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons a Belmond Hotel, name that Yaz didn't even know how to pronounce but Clara did so at least one of them knew exactly where they were getting married. Sonya said how in June the gardens will be in full blume with lavender and other flowers and how absolutely magical it will be to have the wedding outside. It took her and Clara literally ten seconds to agree that this was the perfect place. In past few weeks since the bombshell in the kitchen her amd Clara spoke a lot. Mostly Clara saying stuff randomly in her usual manner without any warning or context to it. It gave Yaz vague picture about what her life really was before but still not enaugh to connect anything in particular together. But what she could gather up till this point was enough to understand regeneration and concept of a Time Lord and few other bits and pieces. But Yaz wasn't in rush, because each time when Clara did speak she would suddenly go quiet and then she would redraw to her study for most of the day and to Yaz this pattern of behaviour was enaugh to understand that even little bit of information she was giving her was hard for her to say. She got the impression that Clara in general was reluctant speaking about herself. She wondered much people from her past even knew about her. And one thing that was absolutely abundantly clear was that Clara didn't want to return to that life. That she was running away from it as far she possibly could. But then Yaz knew too well what that feels like, because she too had a part of her life she locked up together with all the pain that came with it and never spoke about it again. Clara knew her pain even though she never spoke about it. And she always made her feel safe and protected, loved and wanted, she red her like an open book. Something that Yaz couldn't do with her but she was really trying. Making sure Clara always knew she was there and she could feel safe.
She heard the car parking outside, it was a sound that always made her heart jump. Dinner
was just ready and it was Friday

"Hi babe!" Yaz yelled as she was taking food out of the oven and popping the tray on the stove to cool down a bit before she starts loading the plates

"Hey lovely" Clara came straight to the kitchen "Aaaaaa that smell...I'm starving Yaz"

"Me too, you came just in time" Yaz said draping her hands over her shoulders and kissing her "Mmmm...I missed that all day"

"You and me both darling. I had meetings today, boring...I hate meetings" she said taking plates out

"Dishwasher is leaking by the way" Yaz said whilst mixing a salad

"Shoot...alright I'll look at it tomorrow

"So you're a plumber as well?" she laughed

"It's a machine Yaz...same as any other" she shrugged

"Mmmm...sexy plumber can I watch?" she brushed her hand over her bum and kissed her shoulder.

Clara laughed shaking her head. "Hey...Guess where we're going for the weekend?"

Yaz turned around flashing a massive smile "Oxford?"

"Yap...I though we go and see the venue on a way. I called them today made appointment"

"Yeees!!" Yaz jumped exited and kissed her cheek "I'm so exited"

"Me too Yaz. I will also have some lectures up north next month. So we will do a lot of traveling before the wedding. Are you ok with that?"

"Are you serious?" she leaned to place a soft kiss on her neck "God you smell nice"

Clara chuckled, it was nice to hear her say those things. She wasn't used to hearing it and it was like music to her ears each time Yaz showed how much she wanted her and fancied her. It was only recently that Yaz became more vocal about all her thoughts and Clara loved every minute of it.

"Hey I'll finish up here, go take a shower love and get changed"

"Alright...oh I need a huge favor Yaz"

"What?"

"I'm at work tomorrow the whole day and they are coming for conservatory at three o'clock"

"That's fine babe I'll get out a bit earlier don't worry. Come on, go before the food gets cold"

...

They literally had a ritual each evening sitting around the table in a living room chatting about their day and having a dinner, then laying on a sofa watching tv and cuddling. It was their thing since the day they met, except for weekends when Clara loved reading books instead. She used to read them late at night during a week as well, whiles Yaz would just sleep next to her on a bed.
They were laying on a sofa watching a movie. Yaz snuggled with Clara pressed on her back draping her leg over Yaz's hip and her hand over her chest. Most evenings she would fall asleep half way through the movie or miss about three episodes of a show because lying like this in Clara's arms was so comfy and beautiful she would completely relax. Yaz was in her pajamas and Clara wore light cotton trousers with an oversized shirt over it. The fabric was so thin Yaz could feel her hip bones through it pressed against her, she felt her chest move against her back as she was breathing and she smelled absolutely divine. Yaz spent most day alone, longing for her touch so by the time it came to almost ten in the evening she found her mind was drifting from the movie. She started trailing her fingers over Clara's arm with intent.
Clara moved her hand to her stomach and peaked over her shoulder giving her a soft smile.
"Trying to say something?" she asked still  smiling at her

"Yeah...sort of" Yaz admitted blushing being put on a spot

"Aaaand that is?"

"Bedroom?" she said plainly and cracked up laughing "Or here I'm not fussed"

"Right" Clara buried her face into her shoulder laughing. She suddenly got up and jumped over the sofa

"What are you doing?" Yaz laughed confused

"I'll race ya" she winked and started running upstairs

It was almost two in the morning and they both came down to the kitchen wasting through the fridge. Clara did her usual, taking all the food out on the counter and Yaz still couldn't figure out how she wasn't feeling ill from eating soo much in the middle of the night. But each time she would stuff herself so much it was painful to look at.

"I have no idea how I will get up for work tomorrow" Yaz laughed slumping her head on the counter

"It's all your fault Yaz...I just wanted to watch a movie" Clara grinned putting food back into the fridge

"Well I didn't see you complaining"

"No...but that's because I don't need as much sleep honey" she winked shutting the fridge "Call in sick"

"Oh, here we go...Claraaaa...I can't keep doing that all the time silly"

She walked over turning the chair and found place for herself between her legs trailing fingers down her bare skin and under the t-shirt that Yaz took from her. "Told ya...As far as I'm concerned you can be home Yaz. I've got the money" she pouted her lips

"You really don't want me to work do you?" Yaz slumped her arms around her shoulders

"No I don't...I'm honest Yaz. I actually feel horrible that you have to ever since you got ill last time. And I do get scared someone will hurt you. I hate what you do"

"Babe I want to work. It makes me feel good about myself. You know having my own money. Besides I would be sad to be home alone when you're at work"

Clara sighed "I know...I'm sorry. I'm being selfish"

"No, you're not being selfish you're being sweet...and love you so fucking much for it"

Clara kissed her slow and deep making her dizzy and Yaz could see where this was going within two seconds. Her hands were all over her and Yaz's all over Clara. She wrapped legs around her pulling her in tilting her head back as her lips traveled down her neck. Clara had a way of kissing her painfully slow to the point she just wanted to scream and most time she wasn't in any hurry either, mapping each part of Yaz with her lips and her hands as if making sure each part of her body gets equal amount of attention.
Yaz was never kissed so much in her life, she was never touched so much either and her soul craved for it so she enjoyed in every second but by the time Clara would get to where Yaz desperately wanted her to go, she would already beg for it so much it was embarrassing.
Given the fact it was already two in a morning and they were again at it, Yaz could already see herself falling asleep standing up tomorrow. But with Clara's lips pressed so firmly against her neck and hands trailing over her legs and breasts she was already a goner. Yaz fiddled with tiny buttons of her shirt and could never figure out how Clara could undo them with just one hand

"Need help?" Clara laughed

"Fuck yes..."

"Bedroom?" she asked whiles opening a shirt between kissing her

"Noo...no time"

"Alright just asking" she cracked up again and got back to ger neck

She lifted her off the chair and put her down to the floor maneuvering her to the counter. Yaz was losing her breath already and when her back hit the counter she slipped her hands underneath the opened shirt cupping her breast and trailing hands feeling her ribcage razing underneath her fingers as her breathing quickened.

"I really want you" Yaz said threading fingers through her silky hair as her lips trailed over her collar bones. Clara grabbed her hand that was on her waist guiding it down her own body over her stomach and between her thighs then left it there.

"Then take me Yasmin" she looked at her wrapping fingers around her face and Yaz rotated her to the counter kissing her hard. She didn't take her eyes of her as Yaz slipped inside her. The look on her face was something Yaz wanted to imprint into her memory. Her eyes half open and a messy hair, cheeks blushed and her lips left half open between the kisses she leaned her head against Yaz's with fingers still wrapped  around her face. Her breathing quickened as she started to move inside her and her hand grabbed the shirt on Yaz's waist as she draped her leg over her side. Yaz never did this before and was basically mimicking Clara who took her like this many times. She could see the appeal straight away of her body pressing against her, pinning her like this gave almost illusion of full control. Clara absolutely melting under her touch moaning into her neck and her lips as she moved through her in a steady rhythm.

"I really fuckin love you" Yaz said watching her come undone slowly

Clara couldn't talk anymore, she grabbed the counter with one hand and Yaz's shoulder with another trying to keep herself from falling dragging herself over her hand tilting her head backwards moaning into the air. Yaz couldn't stop looking, the fact she was doing this to another person still amazed her. That someone would fall apart like this under her touch was something she will always find fascinating.
Clara's eyes slammed shut and there was a slight frown always on her face when she would come. A look Yaz recognized now. She was always silent, sometimes just puffed slightly and shook a little, her hand would open wide at the first waive then fingers close back into a tight fist. Small body language Yaz studied through time. Wondering if Clara did the same with her. Which she probably did because she had a thing about watching her fly as she called it politely. Her normally cold skin would become hot to the touch and her pale cheeks always flushed which Yaz found adorable. She slumped on Yaz's shoulder riding it out rubbing her face between her neck and a shoulder.

"I love you Yaz...so much" she lifted her head smiling her cheeks still blushed. Yaz giggled at the site of her. At her messy hair and undone shirt weak and still trembling with a look of pure satisfaction on her face, eyes still half open grinning haply.

"I think we should go to bed now babe" Yaz giggled kissing her forehead moving hair from her face "I love you so much darling"

"Help" Clara chuckled slumping her face on her shoulder trying to stand on wobbly legs.

"Come on...or your bum is gonna get cold" Yaz laughed

Clara grabbed her underwear from the floor and held herself for Yaz's waist walking behind her up the stairs "The state of me Yaz" she laughed holding tight at her hips

"I know...it's shameful honestly for a Time Lord" she laughed walking up

 

...

 

Yaz was packing their bags in the evening. She was struggling to keep her eyes open as she finished with her work and came home straight to the meeting with the company who will make the conservatory. Clara made a fast dinner just shoving half made meal into the oven and then started ripping out the washing machine leaving Yaz absolutely speechless when she lifted a grant work top with her bare hands. The leak was coming from the back so she essentially ripped half of their kitchen out giving Yaz anxiety watching her do it. The noise coming from the kitchen sounded like she was dismantling half of their house and Yaz decided she will go upstairs and pack instead of looking at it. She was looking forward to Oxford again but mainly seeing the wedding venue. Clara already saw it, she had to go by herself, traveling with Yaz's parents because Yaz couldn't take a day off. It was an interesting trip with Clara going alone with her family. Her mum called her half way down the road absolutely frilled how she got to chat with Clara for hours and got to know her better. It made Yaz's hearts warm hearing all the nice things about the woman she loved so much and knowing her parents absolutely adored her. Her mother wasn't a woman who used praise words for people outside her family and was relatively reserved when she met new people. So her calling Clara honey and sweetheart said loads about how she felt for her.
Her mother and sister helped so much with organization Yaz could never thank them enough. Sorting out everything from table decorations to a wedding cake. Yaz had no idea what the wedding cake would look like. Her mother, sister and Clara arranged everything and kept it a sweet secret from her just telling her she would absolutely love it.
Yaz finished packing and came down to the kitchen to and absolute horror of a sight.

"OMFG babe" she walked in as Clara was putting cabinets back "Please let me help you"

"Nope...Yaz I'm stronger than you...seriously it's nothing" she said picking up the kitchen cabinet putting it back in its place

"How fucking strong are you girl"

She brushed her hands on her sides and smiled "Strong Yaz...considerably compared to humas  that is"

"Fucking still blows my mind when you say that" she laughed "but even you need a brake...come on. I'll make you a tea"

"That sounds gait Yaz" she came over and kissed her temple

"So did you manage to sort it out?" she asked jumping over stuff and trying to find a kettle and everything she needed from the bar that was packed put with pots and pants and rest of the stuff Clara emptied out.

"Yap...it was leaking at the back I had to change it all and I had to clean it from lime scale. Look" she showed her a bucket filled with water and chunks of lime scale

"Eeeewwww....that's disgusting. Clara are you sure you don't mind doing these things? Seriously you know it's no job for a woman"

"Neah.. woman...man...all the same for me Yaz...besides it's fun"

"OMG...alright iff that makes you happy" she passed her a tea "Babe...what's it like...you know to change like that...from a man to a woman?"

"Hmmmm...nobody asked me this Yaz" she said pulling up a chair and sitting down "I don't know...I never thought about it to be honest because it's just normal for me, natural. You know apart from obvious parts that change. Less body hair definitely...that's a plus...I much rather shave my legs than my face. I'm not fond of stomach cramps though and peeing was really confusing for a while in a beginning. And I don't want to be old either...hate being old Yaz"

Yaz cracked up laughing...it was a strange conversation but the one she enjoyed having.

"I'm not fond of it though...being someone else and I try to avoid it at all cost"

"Can I see what you looked like?"

Clara smiled from the corner of her lips "You already have Yaz...the photos in the study"

"Nooo...nooo....you're fucking me around"

"Nope" she smirked sipping a tea

"That's you?"

"Aha...so, was I handsome?" she smugs

"I don't fucking know now...I have to have a better look" she laughed

"Would you still love me Yaz? Iff I changed?" she changed the tone of her voice asking this question

Yaz looked at her, her brain glitched for a moment. It was a question that seriously required her to look deeply into her heart and examen how she felt about it. She walked over to Clara moving hair from her face tucking it behind her ear.

"Would it still be you? You know, how you are with me? Or that would change? Would you change as a person?"

"Still me darling...nothing changes...well maybe little stuff...but it's still me"

"Then I don't give a fuck babe as long as I have you in my life. But I do love this face...so iff you can help it, please don't change it"

"I'll do my best Yaz...not planning to" she put the tea on the counter and wrapped hands around her waist "And the other stuff Yaz...you know" she smiled looking down between them and Yaz knew immediately what she's implying to.

"Oh, fuck...yes of course" Clara looked at her razing her eyebrow smirking "Right...well...not really something I thought about. At least not in terms of other men that is. I wasn't ever into men...Never been with a man either...well I haven't been with anyone apart from you like that.
But with you it's different...I love you Clara, I really fuckin love you like I never thought I even could love anyone. And that goes beyond what your body is. And whatever it is I believe you and me can make it work together, even that...you know...iff we love each other we would find a way surly...People change...you know, many people...not like you do but similar and just because they change it doesn't change who they are and couples make it work iff they love each other....the heart is still the same. I don't know iff that explains how I feel about it...or it makes absolutely zero sense to you" she frowned hopeful she did put this in a right way

Clara went silent, just gazing at her without a word, then brought her hand up to her face gently moving a strain of hair from her forehead gazing at each part of her face. Her eyes wondered from her lips to her eyes and Yaz was patiently waiting for her to say something, anything. This was not something she had in mind when she started the conversation and she was desperately trying to do her best to explain her feelings on a topic hoping she didn't say something that might hurt Clara's feelings because that was the last thing she ever wanted to do. And she was was truly speaking from her heart as well.

"Yaz"
"Mmm?" she replied absolutely petrified, because she simply couldn't read anything from Clara who had almost poker face expression

"You know how people say that sometimes...not very often, but sometimes you find someone who speaks to your soul?"

"Mmmm?" Yaz's bottom lip started to wobble

"You speak to my soul Yasmin...you're my perfect fit...a part of me that was missing that slots within me like it was made just for me"

Yaz sighed deeply and then crumbled, tears rolling down her face and Clara brushed them with her thumb "Don't cry lovely ...it's beautiful...Do you know how hard it was for me to find that?"

Yaz couldn't speak, she was shaking and iff she spoke her voice would just whimper so she just shook her head instead.

"Nearly impossible Yaz...I absolutely adore you Yasmin I really truly do, and no matter what your answer would be I still would" she scrunched up her face "I was actually half expecting to get booted, so it's a nice surprise" she smiled "But I'm not planning to change darling. I'm planning to stay exactly the way I am for as long I have to. This face is yours my love iff I have anything to say about it" she wrapped her fingers around her cheek and kissed her gently. Yaz whimpered into her mouth, crying through the kiss and wrapping her arms around her shoulders and the back of her head deepening the kiss.
Clara rested her head against hers and smiled "I should really finish the kitchen if we wanna leave in the morning"

"Alright darling...I really love you Bighead"

"Yeah, you really bloody do Yaz" she smiled kissing her one more time

...