Yaz woke up to a familiar smell of breakfast opening her eyes and seeing Alex at the stove. It felt comforting as if not much has changed. She smiled looking at her cute pale tiny legs and a small bum peaking from underneath the gauze cotton tunic. There wasn't a part of Alex that Yaz didn't absolutely adore and she wished there was a way for Alex to see inside her mind and release how beautiful she was and how much she longed for her. She wished she had a way to show her how desperately she yearned to touch her and how she made her heart jump when she kissed her.

"Morning beautiful"

"Hey...I was gonna wake you" she smiled over the shoulder "See, still making omlet in my nickers" she giggled

"Mmmmm" Yaz wrapped her arms around her crossing them at her stomach "The best morning...awesome breakfast and a sexy lady...what more can a girl wish for" she said rubbing her face into her back yawning

"I do like the sexy lady bit" she giggled "But my lady is way more sexy than yours"

"Neah...I completely disagree" she kissed her back then went to get the plates "So what do I hear you've been seeing my sister every morning?"

"Mmmm..."

"You kept that quiet"

"It's no big deal Yaz...it's your sister"

"It's really sweet Alex...really sweet"

"Here we go...done" she turned around and loaded food on the plates "You know the trip to Italy we talked about?"

"Yeees? How could I forget"

"Well my vacation is in two weeks time...so we need to book everything"

"Waaaw...." she smiled spreading butter on the toast "I can't believe we're gonna actually go to fucking Italy"

"I can't believe I'll be going for vacation with someone Yaz"

"Did you always go by yourself?"

"Mmmm" she nodded "I did go once with my sister"

"OMG babe...that's lonely"

"Got used to it...sort of..kinda...I'd just go sightseeing and read books"

"Well...you won't have to that ever again" Yaz got up and kissed her cheek on a way to the fridge

"Which makes me really chuffed Yaz...shoot I'm  gonna be late for work" she looked at the time and quickly got up

"You didn't eat?"

"No time Yaz...she ran into the bedroom to get changed"

...

Alex had a lunch break and sat in a café where she always meets Yaz ordering their usual. It looked like it's going to finally rain as the dark clouds slowly gathered in the sky. She was looking through the hotels in Italy as she decided for them to go to Venice then Rome for several days and then head towards the southern part of Italy to have the opportunity to enjoy in sunshine and the beaches. She was over exited for the trip and planning to make it really romantic...

"Hey baby" Yaz walked over kissing the top of her head

"Hiya...hey loook what I found" she turned her phone "Do you like it?"

"Waaaaw....what's not to like...it that the actual view from the room?"

"Yap!" she grinned haply

"OMG...that's stunning...and the room waaaw...seee told you your apartment looks like a hotel...it's the same" she laughs

"It does doesn't it?" she laughed "...and it's our apartment now as well by the way" she said smug

"Awwwww....so it is isn't it"

"Yeeeees"

"Me like the sound of that" she smiles

"So...I thought we first go to Venice for two nights...then we go to Rome...cause you can't go to Italy and not see Venice and Rome...then I thought for the second week we go down south and just enjoy in the beaches"

"Waaaw...Blimey...You really had it all planned...that sounds just...waaaw...that's more than I've ever travelled in my life" she giggled "I'm so exited" she squeaks clapping her hands

"I can't wait...I'm gonna start packing now" Alex giggled and grabbed her sandwich "Oh they didn't have tuna so I got you chicken"

"That's fine babe...I'm already packed" she laughed

"I knoooow you got your bikini and everything...and that cream"

"I know...I'm ready to go"

"So...the baby is coming home today"

'I knoooow....my god mum is hysterical....she called me twenty times. Her and dad didn't know how to assemble the cot...lost some parts then found them...she's crazy but it's so sweet. And your mum is coming this weekend as well"

"Yes...I was gonna speak to you about that. Can we possibly sleep in the living room so mum has the bedroom?"

"No...we gonna just shove her on a floor underneath the bar Alex..." she laughed "Of course we can...we've been falling asleep there most nights anyway...Where's the difference"

"Oh goodie...I can't wait to see her again"

"See...it came so fast"

"It did actually...the week just flew by"

"So she's coming on Friday?"

"Yes...she's gonna come with a train so we need to pick her up in the evening...I need to check the schedule but I think she's coming around six in the evening"

"I tell you what...how about we cook something nice...She's probably gonna be starving by the time she comes"

"Yes yes...alright...let's do that...I can go shopping after work before I pick you up from the apartment"

"Alright...oh...my Tardis collection is coming today" she propped her head on her arm flapping her lashes

"I have ideas for them...and all your other stuff"

"You do?"

"Yes....mmmmm...wait" she licks her fingers from mayo then swipes her phone with one finger "Loooook...I thought...well I never really use my study...and you work from home...so...I thought we get these shelves and put them there So you can put all your Doctor stuff there...We can also get rid of my big chair and get these smaller once..."

"Really? Are you sure about this?"

"Yes...yeees...I only send the odd email Yaz and sometimes I have emergency meeting at the weekend...but that's so rare...honest...you need a place to work from and the table is huge so we can both work at the same time if we have to"

Yaz jumped over the table smacking a quick kiss on her lips making Alex blush and looking around smiling

"Love ya" Yaz whispered

"Love you too" she said with hooded eyes smiling "You're gonna make me talk of the whole hospital" she laughed

"So let them talk" Yaz waived her hand "They can be jealous" she giggled

"Silly sod" Alex shook her head laughing, her cheeks still bright red

….

Alex went grocery shopping after work still excited about the weekend ahead. Everything was happening, from her mother's arrival and meeting Yaz's family to all the baby celebrations. She was nervous about the parents meeting like she was 15 years old and kept thinking about all the things that could go wrong. She rolled the trolley over to the candy section to grab some biscuits, and overhead some teenagers next to her who were laughing and sneering at someone. Their words were tearing her ears.

"Hey...look It`s Terry...or should I say Teresa....Do you think he tucks his dick?" one of them said laughing looking sideways to the young girl standing by the shelf.

The others laughed making more remarks that made Alex's stomach turn inside out. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a big breath moving closer to them

"You know what's a one thing I realized  in my life?" she said taking biscuits from the shelf turning towards them "These days you can change every part of your body but you can't do anything about disgusting character...no operation can help you there"

They went silent and moved away then Alex looked towards the young woman who turned around over her shoulder giving her a little smile.

"They are just idiots. Things get better...I know it doesn't seem like it now" she said stepping closer "But they do"

"Thanks for that...I appreciate it...but I don't think you understand...no offence" she said moving her hair behind her ears and Alex saw her hand shaking

"None taken...Oh but I do" she raised her eyebrow smiling "I really do understand you see"

Girls eyes open wide looking at Alex "Noo fucking way?"

"Oh yes way" she smiled "Just move on...don't let that stop you or discourage you...oh...wait" Alex opened her bag and started digging through it pulling a card out "Here...I run a support group locally...it's only twice a month I just started it when I moved here...but it's something"

"Really?" she took the card with a massive smile

"Yeah, it's me and two of my coworkers...just giving some information and advice and hang around. You might meet some new friends as well...better ones" she nodded twards the bunch that left

"Waaaaw...thanks for that...I'm Kerry" she reached her hand out

"Alex...nice to meet you Kerry" she smiled "Next meeting is in a week...you can visit the website...it's there" she pointed to the card "All the information is on it...Well I hope I see you Kerry"

"You will...thanks for that...well see ya" she smiled and waived her hand

Alex was shaking herself. It was the first time in her life she said anything like this but her whole life rolled inside her head and she felt like she will throw up on a floor. She quickly loaded the trolley rushing to see Yaz cracking knuckles on her fingers nervously waiting at the till.

"Hey" Alex said entering Yaz's apartment

"Hey baby...All good to go...it's just this box we need to get downstairs" she looked down then razed her gaze at Alex "Babe? You alright?"

"Cuddle" she opened her arms with a wobbly chin

"Alex...what happened?" Yaz jumped over the boxes and squeezed her tight

"Just overhead a bunch of teenagers taking a piss out of a young trans girl in a store"

"Oh Alex...Jesus...what the fuck...it's like this shit follows you"

"I couldn't help myself...I got involved...and now I'm just so nervous myself. I couldn't wait to get here"

"Oh baby...did they say something.."

"No they left...they're just stupid kids...but still it cuts deep" she rubbed her face into Yaz's neck "...gave a girl a card for my group though...I hope it helps...even though there's only three members" she smiled into Yaz's neck

"Three is good...you're helping people...they need someone like you"

"They need much more but it's a start...And you made a nice website...that's not badge" she giggled

"I love you"

"Love you too..." she puffed into her neck "I needed this" she said kissing the crease and then raised her gaze "Let's get your Who stuff in the car" she smiled reaching for her hands lacing their fingers "I got loads of food...I went overboard cause I got so stressed I didn't know anymore what we have and what we don't"

"That's alright...I'm sure we'll eat it....come on...let's go home" Yaz pulled her into kiss

….

It was Friday late afternoon, Yaz was finishing up the food while Alex was getting her mom's bedroom ready by changing all the sheets and adding towels in the bathroom. She was in a hurry because they got back from Khan's late. They had gone to see the baby earlier that day and as usual started talking and being able to finally cuddle the baby, time just flew by so fast now they only had an hour left before Charlie's train arrived. Alex got flustered about the sheets and towels running from one place to another which made Yaz laugh as she had already spent almost an hour on just two things. She was so stressed she put the duvet cover inside out, and Yaz heard her cursing from the bedroom. Yesterday they got the shelves for Yaz's Doctor Who stuff and Alex made her tear up laughing  as she sorted all the Tardis's by shades of blue and all of Yaz's books by publication date. Now it looked as neat as if they were opening a store.

Alex finally finished the bedroom and the bathroom and she also made some room for her mum's stuff in her wardrobe by moving some of her Yaz's clothes to the study on a temporary clothes hanger she got at the same time as the shelf. That way they wouldn't have to disturb her mum by going in and out each time they changed. They also took extra bedding from Yaz's apartment so they had it for the sofa. It was all good to go but Alex was still fidgeting trying to speak to Yaz the whole day but something always got in a way. She desperately wanted to talk to her before her mum came as it was waing so heavy on her chest she thought she's going to combust. She walked into the kitchen cracking her knuckles then walked up to the bar.

"Yaz...can we talk?" Alex said kissing her cheek gently

"Sure...is everything alright?"

"Yeah...just need to get something off my chest that's all"

"Yeah sure" she wipped her hands and turned around. "What's bothering you?"

Alex reached for her hans "I...well...You've been absolutely beautiful Yaz and you gave me soooo much patience and understanding...So before I say anything else... I just want you to know how much I really, really appreciate it and I love you so much for it"

"You're scaring me Alex...are you breaking...?"

"Nooo noo!!!...I'm not braking up Yaz..mnooo god absolutely not...Oh god...why do I always say things tits upwards"

"You just scared the shit out of me babe"

"Noo Yaz...Jesus you just moved in what the hell....what's wrong with my mouth" she stroke her face "God I'd freaking die without you...so nooooo" she nodded

"Jesus Alex...alright...moooving on..."

"Listen...what I was gonna say is..." she took her hands and kissed her knuckles "I just feel like my issues are debilitating us from moving forward. And I so want to move forward Yaz...with vacation coming as well"

​

"You're talking about sex?...Aleeeex...we don't have a deadline to fulfil"

"Yes...I mean no...we don't...I get that...but I also understand that it's been over a month Yaz...and this isn't really falling under normal parameters of a relationship...I'm very much aware of it"

"Right...but can I just say something"

"Yes"

"Alex...I wanna shag your brains out...I do...because your beautiful and hot and sexy and I love you....but I'm fine with this...we said slow.."

"But we didn't say snail pace Yaz"

"If snail pace is what you need then this is what you're gonna get... And you have moved a lot"

"It's pathetic Yaz"

"Don't...you have...a loooot...I got to your tummy" she giggled "...and the odd boob...oh and I did have my hands on your bum in your mums garden and that was amazing" she giggled "I also get to see you in your nickers...and it's fucking sexy"

Alex laughed covering her face with her hands "Oh gooood"

"So you are getting there and give yourself a fucking break girl" she stroke her face "We don't have a problem"

"We don't?"

"Nooo...we don't...take as much time as you need Alex"

"I'm so sorry I'm so messed up Yaz...I get to it then I freak out like an idiot"

"You're not messed up Alex and you're not an idiot...you're the strongest person I know and you went through shit...but you're here...and that's the most fucking important thing" she wrapped her fingers around her neck and leaned her head on hers "We're fine baby...we really are. We'll get there...one boob at the time"

Alex burst out laughing "I'm fine with boob...it's the other thing"

"What is it that scares you so much? Tell me...please...is it when I touch you it feel uncomfortable or?"

"Nooo nooo...it's...I love when you do...it's just...I know that..." she lifted her head up and swallowed deep "I know you'd...see me...all of me and not just see but..."

"Touch?"

"Mmm...and I'm soo...I don't know..."

"Shy?"

"I guess...and you know...it's only my mum who saw it all Yaz after operation...and I'm so insecure and I get all panicky and it's so stupid"

"Alright baby" she kissed her nose gently "I get that...I totally understand that...I'm glad you told me"

"I have to have a word with myself and I will Yaz...I"

"I bet you look beautiful...amazing...fucking stunning" she smiled

Alex smiled looking down and blushed "Guess I can switch off the lights"

"I can deal with that...or stay under a duvet"

Alex laughed "How exiting"

"Oh there's loads you can do under a duvet" she giggled

Alex laughed and slumped her head on her shoulder "We can start there...I love you so much Yaz"

"I thought you're fucking dumping me" she laughed running fingers through her hair

"Are you for real...you're my life line...I thought you're gonna dump me if this continues"

"Oh yeah...go out there find myself some random wild sex with no feelings...can't wait" she giggled "we can be so dumb you know"

"I know" she looked up pouting her lips

"We need to go..." she looked at the kitchen clock "Your mum should be here soon"

"I know...I really fucking love you" she smiled and took her hands wrapping them around herself then smiled lowering them to her bum

"Mmmm...I get bonus before mum gets here" Yaz ran her hands over it rocking them side to side "I fucking adore you..." she said closing her eyes moving towards her lips

"And I you" Alex said and kissed her

….

They drove to the station and rushed as they got out of the car as the train was already on the platform when they arrived. Alex held Yaz's hand fidgeting nervously looking over people's heads to see her mum and when she finally saw her yelled so loud Yaz started laughing

"Muuuuum!" she waived with a massive smile across her face

Charlie laughed waiving and pushed through the people rolling her suitcase

"Where's my girls" she stood stood with open arms in a very Alex kinda way with a massive smile across her face

"Oh god...so nice to see you" Alex pressed her lips at her cheek hugging her tight

"Hey baby" she stroke face kissing her

"Hey darling" she hugged Yaz

"Hey Charlie...so so nice to have you here"

"Yaz made some nice food" Alex said taking her suitcase "And I prepared a bedroom for you...oh can't wait for you to see our apartment" she draped her arm around her shoulder and squeezed her cheek against hers "Mmmmmmmmm....I'm so chuffed you're here"

"Oh girls you really didn't have to bother, we could've just ordered a pizza"

"Nooo..." Yaz said "Can't give you pizza...you cooked for us every day"

"That's what mum's do" she smiled

"How was your trip Charlie?"

"Not bad...I just got stiff sitting down for so long...at the end I just couldn't wait to get here"

As they drove towards their apartment Alex was showing  her everything "Hey mum look...this is where I work and see that over there...that's where Yazee was living" she pointed haply

"I'm still packing...I've got a lot of shit" Yaz giggled

"Here we are mum" Alex said parking the car in front of the building

"Nice building..." she said getting out of the car

"We're over there" Yaz pointed to the second floor

"It's nice" Alex  said "Not many people...and only three floors....also...I like the greenery at the back...also don't hear the traffic because it's away from the main road"

"That's nice...you always were a light sleeper even as a baby"

Alex opened the apartment door with a massive grin on her face "Ta da!!!....our apartment!!" she hopped around haply

"Waaaw...this is really nice girls" Charlie said walking into the living room

"It's now even nicer when Yazee got some nice details and looook..." she pointed to the tree of life artwork "Isn't that amazing mum"

"OMG that's so beautiful...it looked pretty when you showed me on a phone but now I see just how big it is...it's stunning"

"Come....let me show the rest" Alex said taking her hand

"You go ahead baby...I'm gonna put all the food out" Yaz said heading towards the kitchen


"Look at all these photos" Charlie said passing through the hallway

"I love them so much. I need to frame the ones from the birthday"

"This the study...it's just some of our stuff here now...and Yazee will work from here now...and this is the bedroom...I got it all set for you...bathroom is here mum and those are your towels"

"Alex"

"Mmmm?" she turned from the bathroom door

"I'm so proud of you baby"

"Oh don't....you're gonna make me cry" she came up to her and hugged her tightly

Charlie reached for hand and stroke her palm then ran her finger over a small moth tattoo on her wrist "You've come so far...there was a time when I seriously thought I'm losing you" she stroke her hand and raised her gaze "I thought you're slipping away through my fingers"

"I know mum...I thought I'm losing myself...I was...would've done if it wasn't for you and the rest of the gang. But mostly you mum"

"You have no idea how long I wanted to see you smile" she stroke her cheek "And you have such a beautiful smile...I thought I'll never see it again and now you smile all the time" she said with teary eyes

"Because of you...you gave me this"

"I just held your hand Alex. You did all the walking"

"Sometimes that's all it takes mum...just holding a hand" she kissed her cheek and wiped her tears "Don't cry..." she said wiping her own tears
"Come on...let's eat, then you can unpack" she said draping her arm around her leading her out of the room "Love ya" she smiled

"Love you too baby"

"Oh...this is Sniffles..." she picked him up on a way

"Oh he's nice big boy"

"He's lovely...just a bit shy...he'll probably hide most of the time you're here" she said kissing his head

They chatted away late into the evening. It was almost midnight by the time they all got ready for bed. Alex was struggling to keep awake as she was up since six in the morning but she was happy. She switched off the lights and slipped into the bed.

"I'm exhausted...but I'm so chuffed" she said snuggling to Yaz

"Your mum is so lovely"

"She is...I'm so nervous about all of them meeting tomorrow"

"Oh there gonna be fine...you worry too much"

"Probably..." she said with a yawn and wrapped herself around Yaz then pulled the duvet over their heads giggling "There...you got me under the duvet" she giggled

"In a dark" she giggles "Can't see shit I have to rely on my hands" she giggled running her hand over her tummy "Mmmmm...been there"

"Mmmm..." Alex smiled rubbing their noses together and kissing her shortly then moved her hand on her breast

"Booob" Yaz whispered making them both laugh "Small cute one...perfect fit for my hand" she said

"Mmmm...more like a raisin" Alex said

Yaz almost screamed laughing "Stooop...your mum is in the next room"

"I know...and you're seamlessly groping me" she laughed

"Oi...you started it...I was a good girl"

"C'mere" Alex pulled her onto herself and locked her legs around her "I love you so much" she said moving her hair from her face. Tiny bit of light filtered underneath the duvet from the street and she saw the softest most loving look Yaz gave her that melted her heart. "It's nice to feel you like this" she said very quietly

"It's nice to be here...does this help?"

"Mmmm" she nodded "You help...so much" she stroke her face "Never had anyone on top of me like this" she smiled "It's so nice"

"There's lot of nice I want you to feel" Yaz said kissing the tip of her nose her eyes roaming over her face

"You're so beautiful Yazee in all the ways" she said cupping her face and pulling her for a long kiss.

They went silent rolling on a side and just cuddling steeply. They were both tiered from the long day. Rain started falling and the sound of raindrops hitting the window lulled them both to sleep

….

Charlie woke up early and smiled walking into the living room seeing the tangled mess on bed. The duvet half  hanging  on the floor and Alex's face hidden into Yaz's neck with her hand covering half of her face it made Charlie chuckle.
She quickly grabbed a glass of water and started sneaking out of the kitchen.

"Mum?" Alex lifted her head with hair falling over her sleepy face

"Shhh...just sleep I needed some water"

"Noo...I'll get up"

"Mmmmwha" Yaz moved

"It's alright Yazee sleep" she kissed her forehead and got up

"Oh noo...I just woke you both"

"Don't worry about Yaz...she can sleep through the war" she laughed "And I get up early anyway...my inner clock...I also need to pee I'm gonna explode" she kissed her cheek "Help yourself in fridge mum" she said and rushed to the bathroom

"Hey mum..." Alex said returning from the bathroom "We could go out for breakfast. I'll  just leave a note for Yaz"

"That would be nice. I just don't wanna disturb her. Let her sleep"

"Alright...I'll get ready sharpish and we can go"
she said haply

They drove to the little dinner Howst Café, one of few that opened early for breakfast. And it was only ten minutes down the road. It had tables and chairs outside but they were still wet from last nights rain so they sat inside.

"This is a nice place" Charlie said

"Yaz took me here. I wouldn't know. They have really nice breakfast. We came here few times in the morning before work"

"So...going to Italy...you exited?"

"Extremely...my first ever holiday with someone...you know...partner"

"I'm  so happy for you Alex"

"Hey look....this looks nice...I just can't have mushrooms but all the other grilled veggies look nice"

"I think I'm gonna have proper one with baked beans and eggs...looks nice"

"I wanna marry her" Alex said looking through the menu

"What did you just say?" Charlie frowned not sure she heard it right

Alex smiled from the corner of her lips still looking down to the menu then razed her gaze "Yazee...I wanna marry her"

"Wooow...alright...I didn't expect that I must admit. I did but not today...."

"You think it's stupid? You do don't you...or too fast or"

"Noooo...stop...I don't....I get it...You wanna do it before you think she could change her mind..I get it"

"Is that pathetic?" She scrunched her face

"No...it's beautiful. And if you're both ok with it Alex then fuck it...why not. Life is too short...enjoy whiles you can. You never know what's tomorrow"

"Really...seriously?"

"Yeees Alex....seriously...god knows you've been through so much pain I don't blame you wanting to finally breathe. And you deserve it...So did you ask her?"

"Nooo...I want to...it's just..."

"Morning, can help you?" the waitresses stopped her half way through

"Morning...my mum's gonna have this and I would like this but no mushrooms I'm allergic"

"No problem. What would you like to drink?"

"I need coffee" Charlie said "With milk please"

"I'll just have some orange juice please"

"Alright, thank you" the waitresses left

"So you didn't ask then?" Charlie repeated the question

"Neah...will do.." she said putting napkin on her lap "Was planning to in Italy...But it's not as simple as that"

"Why? Just ask a question Alex...I'm sure she won't say no. She can't take her eyes of you"

"Yeah but...you can't exactly...jump the steps you know...and I'm kinda jumping here a lot"

"Ha?...You lost me"

"We haven't..." she said looking down playing with a the menu nervously twisting the corner of the page "You know...we just kiss mum"

"Oh..." Charlie sat back in her chair "Right...I never thought I'll have this conversation with any of my kids...let alone you Alex"

"Sorry...I'll stop"

"Don't be ridiculous Alex...what you think a stork dropped you in my garden?" she laughed

"I'm OBGYN mum...no believe me I don't" she laughed

"Can I ask why?...I mean since you brought that up now it's sort of pulling that next question"

"Cause I'm fucked up in my brain mum" she looked down on the table "I get all flustered and panicky...cause you know"

"Oh, Aleeex" she sighed "You're a beautiful woman...there's nothing wrong with you...it's all there looking really pretty, so there's seriously nothing to get so flustered about"

"One part of my brain knows it..."

"But the other one believes your fucking father and his cronies...right?"

She didn't answer that just looked shortly at her mum and then back down to the table continuing to twist the page of the menu

"Please Alex...don't let him destroy this for you...he's a pathetic excuse for a person. And you have something special here. Please Alex" she reached across the table and palmed her hand "...There's nothing wrong with you...you're beautiful. You always were...even before...Just enjoy your life. Because if you don't...then he won...he totally won"

"That's true" Alex bit her bottom lip

"Ladies...your food" the waitresses brought the plates and placed them on a table giving Alex a short moment to actually process what her mother just said.
It was probably exactly what she needed to hear without actually being aware of it. And it felt silly because it was the same advice she would give to others. But somehow we all attend not to listen to our own advices.

"Thank you" she smiled to the waitresses then when she left turned to her mum "I needed to hear that"

"Well, that's what mum's are for" she smiled "You have a beautiful woman there who loves you and who you want to marry...It's the most beautiful thing ever happening to you just enjoy in life...Now...look at this food...that looks really nice"

"It does doesn't it...Love ya" she smiled

"I love you too....Oh...your sister unlike you has no problems in that department so she has another bloke"

"Oh god...another one? Well she's got fast turn-over" she laughed

"She does...but I like this one"

"I hope she gets to find someone nice...Yaz's sister is also now alone with the baby. Her bloke just left her when she got pregnant. So now she's legally single mum cause he won't even pick up the phone"

"Well she's better off without him then"

"That's what Yaz says...she can't stand him. Makes her blood boil...Aaaaa talking about Yazee" she digs through her bag as her phone rang "Hiya baby"

"Hey...saw your note...can you bring me something sweet? Pleaseeee"

"Sure I can...wanna come over?"

"No darling...you have a nice time with your mum. I've got some work to do. So I'll just do that until you come back"

"Alright darling...love ya"

"Love you tooo beautiful"

"Told you she can sleep through the war" Alex laughed "She wants some cake...I fancy some cake after this...you?"

"Yeah sure, why not...and another coffee"

….

It was early evening and they were getting ready to go to Khan's for the celebration. Alex was sitting at her work desk doing her make-up and Yaz was hopping around hurrying to get ready. She suddenly disappeared for a while and then hurriedly returned.

"Hey baby...can you just..."

"Woooooow...." Alex razed her gaze and felt her cheeks go bright red as heat surge through her face "You look amazing"

"Aaaa thanks baby" she turned around proudly showing her gorgeous turquoise traditional Pakistani dress.

"OMG Yazee...you look sooo gorgeous" she turned her chair around and Yaz stepped infront of her

"Close your eyes" she smiled cheeky

Alex looked at her frowning "Why?"

"Just close them for fuck sake"

She did and Yaz stood between her legs, then took her hands and slowly placed them on her breasts, running them over her chest. Alex blushed and smiled

"Keep them closed" Yaz said smiling and ran them over her bare stomach then released them. "You're on your own now" she smiled as she let her go, Alex caressed her gently, keeping her eyes closed as she ran her fingers slowly over Yaz's curves smiling. Yaz tucked her hair behind her ears, then leaned in and kissed her softly. They parted with a soft smile and Alex wrapped her arms around her placing small kisses on the edge of each of Yaz's breasts before looking up with a big smile.

"You're so beautiful"

"So are you..." Yaz said stroking her hair "Breathless actually" she smiled and kissed her forehead 

They were in the elevator of Yaz's building and Alex squeezed her hand nervously. Yaz smiled and brought her hand to her lips, kissing her knuckles. Charlie was carrying a large baby gift that contained various items wrapped in the shape of a large cake. Alex and Yaz bought a baby rocking chair and Alex walked around with a massive baby bottle shaped balloon filled with some glitter she insisted on buying. Yaz wasn't sure if she was buying it for herself or for Sonya because she lost it over it in a store. Music could be heard outside on the veranda and Hakim opened the door with a party hat on his head dancing happily.

"Heeey...my girls!" he yelled over the music

"Jesus dad this baby will go death" Yaz smiled kissing his cheek

"He needs to get used to how we party" he laughed "Aleeex...." he hugged her "Uuuu is that for me" he said looking at the balloon

"I know right...It's brilliant ...Well Prem is too small so you can play with it" she laughed "Hakim my mum...Mum...my substitute dad Hakim"

"Charlie! How nice to have you here...come come" he squeezed them into an apartment full of people. It was so crowded that they had to push their way through the crowd, and Yaz was kissed and hugged by everyone as she introduced Alex and her mom to everyone. Alex's head hurt from second cousins, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles. She couldn't keep up after five minutes and just smiled as some aunts confusedly sized her up as Yaz introduced her as her girlfriend. But in general, everyone was very polite. At last they came to the familiar faces of Sonya and Nadjia. Sonya sat on the sofa and laughed with the baby in her arms, and next to her on a sofa was Yaz's nanny.

"Hi Alex, well they finally introduce me to you. I'm always the last one to hear everything. Well, you're pretty" she said

"Well, thank you. This is my mother" she practically yelled

"Charlie...nice to meet you"

Nadjia came over smiling "Hi girls"

"Mum Yaz's mum...Yaz's mum my mum...that just sounds weird" she frowned

Nadjia laughed and stepped in hugging Charlie straight away "Charlie...finally. So nice to have you here"

"Thanks for including me"

"Of course we will"

"Aleeeex..." Sonya smiled and reached out with her hand pulling her in kissing her cheek

"Hey girl...how you're doing?"

"Fine...fine...he doesn't let me sleep but apart from that fine"

"Got you balloon" she grinned

"Aaaaa...glitter"

"I know...look" she grabbed the balloon shaking it and it glittered like a disco ball

"That's so wicked...come sit" she pulled her hand to the sofa "Here..." she immediately passed the baby to her, and Alex grinned so much that if she didn't have ears, her smile would have met the back of her head

"Oh...she's never gonna leave now" Yaz laughed and kissed her sister "All the presents are by the door...sorry...couldn't pass through with them....this is mad"

"I know they invited all the living relatives" she laughed

Two hours later Yaz pulled Alex into the crowd for a dance and Charlie was chatting with absolutely everyone. Alex completely relaxed dancing or rather trying to dance to the beats of the music and Yaz was completely in her element laughing and showing her all the moves. She brought her hand up to the back of her neck pulling her in while yelling in her ear

"Told ya not to worry"

"That's my bad ear" Alex laughed

Yaz moved to the other side and yelled again

"Oh...oh...yes I know.." Alex said smiling "I should listen to you when you tell me not to freak out"

A few hours later, they left the party with their ears ringing from the music and their legs aching. Yaz practically fell asleep on Alex's shoulder as they entered the elevator and walked to the car. She crawled into bed as soon as they got home without removing her makeup. Alex stayed up talking to her mom in the kitchen until later.

"She's dead" Alex laughed passing next to the sofa and sat at the bar

"She didn't stop dancing since we came" Charlie laughed

"Well, she's 28 I'm 40...big difference" she laughed "Did you have a nice time?"

"Oh, the best....and we thought our family is big" she laughed

"My brain was hurting I got totally lost. I forgot what her nanny looks like so I was asking some random woman questions"

"You didn't?"

"I did.." she laughed slumping her face on a kitchen top

"Oh Aleeex"

"It was so embarrassing...then I realized she's looking at me weirdly after five minutes of me rambling on how Punjab is beautiful" she laughed covering her face

"Jesus Alex" Charlie laughed like crazy "I'm gonna wake up Yaz"

"You won't she's in another dimension believe me...drooling into the pillow...She was so tired she couldn't get her dress off she got all tangled up in it"

"I feel so sick from all the food"

"Mee too...I ate so much...and those cakes...goood what are those"

"Don't...I'm dying"

"My god...I think they will find our parties really boring mum" she laughed opening the fridge and getting a small bottle out "Here drink this"

"What's that?"

"Helps with digestion" she laughed "Just little bit don't nock it down or you're not gonna move from the toilet the whole day" she giggled

"So..." Charlie grabbed Alex's hand as she was walking behind her and pulled her down "When are you getting the ring?"

"Shhhhhhh....shoosh" she laughed covering her mouth looking towards Yaz

"You said she's in another zone" she laughed "Go on...tell your mama...gimme me moore"

Alex laughed "Oh god...you're gonna start planning now aren't you?"

"Mmmm...well...did you see the size of her family?" She laughed "It's gonna take a year between us and them" she giggled

"Oh god...what's wrong with me...I would talk through my ass"

"So..." she pointed to the ring finger

"Slow down...I told you first thing first"

"Oh, bish bash...you can do that when I leave...besides...you're gonna wish you did it earlier" she smirks

"Muuuuum! Jesus...did you drink?" she laughed

"Nope...just happy I can finally...finally speak to you like this Alex...god I wished for that for so long"

"I know..." she slumped her head on a kitchen top

"Your falling asleep...go to bed Alex" she got up and walked around the bar kissing her head

"Monday"

"Monday what?"

"Getting the ring" she whispered grinning

"I want a photo"

"Of course...just don't share it on Facebook pleaseee" she laughed

"You know how to kill fun" she laughed walking away "Night baby...go to bed"

"Night mum" she puffed hair from her face exhausted

….

Sunday evening came faster than Alex wanted it to. Once more she had to say goodbye to her mother without knowing how soon she will be able to see her again. Once again she cried saying goodbye but somehow this time it felt just that much easier. She had a home and a life she was building and someone she adored with every breath she took. There was no emptiness anymore and no loneliness and she finally felt a place of belonging here.
As they came home from dropping her mother  of to the train, Alex got changed into her pajamas and sat at the bar dipping some custard crème biscuits into a glass of milk.

"You alright?" Yaz came up behind her gliding her hands over her back and kissed her shoulder

"Yeah" she glanced over her shoulder with a smile "I got you...that makes it better...Want some?" she raised her hand with a biscuit and Yaz took a bite giggling then kissed her cheek

"It was so nice having her here...see we can do it more often like this if you can't go over there"

"Mmmm...that's actually true. Why did I never think of that?" she looked up frowning then shook her head

"Stress...You were just sad...and lonely"

Alex turned in a chair and grabbed Yaz's hand as she closed the fridge door pulling her in.

"What?" she smiled stepping between her legs as Alex wrapped her arms around her grinning

Alex didn't say anything just kept grinning uncontrollably locking her arms at her back

"You're cute" Yaz said tucking her hair behind her ears

"I'm not sad anymore" Alex said placing kisses over her chest

"Me neither...and we are finally not lonely sados" she giggled

"Who spend two hours a day folding towels" Alex laughed "And I have someone to have a lunch with..."

"Every day" Yaz smiled and kissed her forehead "And text to...and chat to...and someone to make me tea when my tummy hurts and I get to sleep next to you which is absolutely the best part of my day"

"And now you're gonna make cry" Alex said laying her head on her chest "you know what's the crazy thing...I didn't even know what I was missing...because I never had it" she looked up "Now I can't imagine being alone again. Not having you next to me at night"

"Did you ever date anyone before...you know...when you were a man"

"No...I haven't...I wasn't in a right frame of mind Yaz" she said with her head on her chest "I was depressed and suicidal and my escapism was studding and books. I've closed myself off from the world. It felt for a long time like I was the only person in world who like this and nobody could understand what's inside my mind...I went from thinking there's something seriously wrong with me to finally accepting that I was just different and I wanted this....But then when I made that decision it seemed like I was also alienating myself even more from the world"

"So you never met anyone like you?"

"No Yaz...you saw where I grew up. It's such a small place. Nobody talked about this...it was a stigma...still is...but then even more. Something that people would just change the subject when brought up. My family was so brave in that"

"They are amazing...they really are"

"But let's talk about something nice" she looked up to her "Like how much I love you and how we're going for a beautiful vacation" she said rocking her side to side dotting kisses over her cleavage "We still need to book a hotel in Venice"

"We can look for it now"

"Yes...let's do that" she looked up with a smile closing her eyes dreamy as Yaz's fingers ran through her hair "Also...one more really important  thing"

"What baby?" Yaz smiled brushing her finger over the little crease between her eyebrows that she found adorable

"I desperately need you to kiss me now" she pouted her lips making Yaz giggle

Yaz laughed. It was the cutest thing when Alex would demand to be kissed and she could never get enough of it "I can do that" she leaned over and wrapped her fingers around her face kissing her slow and gentle at fist making Alex feel like she was floating on clouds as her fingers tangled in her hair and her thumb gently brushed that little spot next to her ear making her tremble as Yaz was deepening the kiss.
She brought her hand at the side of Yaz's soft neck and wrapped her arm around her waist pulling her closer until the bar chair Alex was sitting on started to wobble almost making them both fall. They parted with a giggle then moved to the sofa to look for some nice hotel in a center of Venice.

….

Alex finished with her work on Monday and she was on her way to get the ring. Half way towards the store she got panic attack and sat down for a coffee picking up the phone and calling her mum.

"Did you get it?" her mum said as soon as she picked up

"No...am I rushing this mum? I feel like I'm rushing this and being manic"

"Alex...life is too short...do you want it?"

"Yes.. yes I do"

"Then go and get the bloody ring. Your sister got married three times Alex. She's changing husbands and boyfriends faster than I'm changing my nickers"

Alex laughed "I hope you change more than 3 pairs of nickers in 10 years mum" she laughed
"Alright....huh...This is crazy...Yaz is gonna think I'm some sort of obsessive nutter"

"No she's not baby...I think Yaz feels very much like you"

"I hope so...or I'll just make a biggest fuck up of my life"

"Go get the ring Alex...and send me pictures"

"Stone right...it has to have like a stone...some nice one...can it be red?...suppose it can...why not?"

"It can be any color ...pick whatever you like"

"Alright...thanks for putting up with me"

"I have no choice I popped you out" she laughed

"Thanks mum.. that does wonders for my self confidence" she laughed

An hour later she was driving home, looked at the small bag on the seat next to her and smiled. Then she remembered the awkward kiss from almost two months ago when they first met. She was excited, nervous and scared at the same time. But she was absolutely sure of one thing that she wanted Yaz for the rest of her life and that she had already missed so much that she was not going to lose her. And maybe it was desperation, but she didn't care if it was because Yaz made her feel happy and loved and beautiful. She put a small bag in the bottom of her bag and headed home.

….

Thursday evening Alex was playing loud music packing all the bags for the trip whiles Yaz was in a study sitting at the table by the open window in her pajama shorts and strappy top, still working. It was hot evening and she was tiered. She didn't feel like working late but she had to finish her project before they leave. She knew she won't be done before late into the night as the work piled op over a week she took off to move out of her apartment. But they were going to Italy for two weeks and she couldn't care less if she had to work all night. She was so exited about the trip she probably wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. She got up to make herself one more coffee,  dancing her way into the kitchen barefoot to the rhythm of Doja Cat - Vegas. She stood by the kitchen top making a coffee when Alex came up behind her giggling wrapping arms around her waist and moving their hips with the music kissing the side of neck.

"Right...that's hot" Yaz said giggling "Fuck Alex" she sighed as she trailed her lips down her neck and over her shoulder "I swear I'm gonna start doing this to you" she turned around and grabbed her face kissing her "you really don't get what you're doing to me do you?"

Alex grinned cheeky and kissed her cheek then went to the fridge.

"We're going tomorrow" she said exited taking food out to the kitchen top making herself a sandwich

"Dooon't I have to concentrate on my work and I'm really finding it hard...Did you pack us?"

"Not yet...getting there" she said wiggling some cheese in front of Yaz's face "Cheese"

"Yes...can you make me one please?....So we're flying into Venice?"

"Mmmm...flying into Marco Pollo then we're in Venice for two nights, then we fly into Rome and we are there till Sunday then we're flying to Sorento and from Sorento we're going to Capri"

"Not sure I can remember all of this"

"You don't have to Yazee...just need to have a nice time"

"I'm sure I will...But I still need to take my laptop. I'll have some work to do even from there. I'll just do it in the evenings or something"

"That's fine darling...you can do it from the hotel or even from a café when we get to Sorento...you can just sit in a shade and do your work underneath some nice pine trees looking at the sea...Here...cheese, mayo and your chicken salami"

"Perfect" she takes a sandwich and sits at the bar "God that sounds like a paradise"

"Oh, it's so beautiful...I can't wait to take you to all the places"

It was really late at night and Yaz was still working. Alex went to bed a long time ago and the apartment seemed so empty. With Sniffles also gone to her mum's it didn't feel right. But when they come back from the holiday Sniffles would be getting a new friend as they decided it would be the best thing to adopt the little kitten when they returned rather than taking her in and then taking her to Yaz's mum straight away. It all got delayed with the adoption as the poor thing got ill and had to go on antibiotics. But Alex was already itching to have her home as all the stuff they bought was just sitting there and Sniffles didn't really show much interest in any of it.
She finally closed her laptop and packed it all up for a trip leaving it by the front door with all the other suitcases then looked at the clock in a kitchen and realized she's getting up in only three hours. She walked into the bedroom and climbed onto the bed, snuggling up behind Alex. It was a warm night and the only sheet covering her was all rolled up around her like a burrito. But Yaz didn't want to wake her up so she just moved it a little and stuck to her back. Alex muttered and grabbed her hand pressing it to her chest then fell back asleep.

….

They were on the plane and Alex was sitting by the window looking out at the beautiful clouds below and the reflection of the sun on the surface. It reminded her of whipped cream or egg whites when her mom made cakes. She ran her fingers through Yaz's hair as she curled up in the seat next to her with her head in her lap. She felt asleep as soon as they took off and was so tired that she didn't care that her legs were dangling off the seat or the fact that she was completely squeezed and ended up being very uncomfortable. But by the time they were waiting to get on the plane, she had already fallen asleep on Alex's shoulder and was dragging herself through the airport. And Alex knew that they still had a long way to go to Venice, so her plan was to first check into the hotel and rest, and then go for a nice dinner and a walk. Just take it easy. The hotel was just a few streets away from Piazza San Marco, which made it easy to just get around and rest when they needed to. She was beyond excited for this trip and also desperately needed a vacation since it had been almost two years since she had one. Changing her workplace made it impossible for her to take one, and she didn't feel like going anywhere alone. She's been doing it for years and was tired of it. Sitting alone in restaurants in the most beautiful places in the world and watching couples and families having the best time of their lives was quite deflating, and seeing all the beautiful places somehow couldn't make up for the part of her life that was missing. But now she felt that she had been given another chance to see all those places again and experience them in a completely different way.
The voice over the speakers went off informing all the passengers that they would be landing soon so it was time to wake up a sleepy Yaz who was clinging to Alex's fingers like a baby as she was still nervous about the flight.

They were on a water bus on their way to Venice. The city was now so close that all the buildings and people could be seen in the distance. Alex smiled as Yaz clung to the window with wide eyes. She suddenly woke up with excitement asking her a million questions.

"I still can't believe it's all on a water?" she said looking outside

"Amazing isn't it? And you will see when you're inside some buildings you feel little bit like it's all moving...very unusual"

"And the hotel is right there in a center?" she turned around over her shoulder

"Yap...see that big square there where that tower is...that's Piazza San Marco and our hotel is just few streets away"

"Do we have to take a boat? Or are there actual streets?"

"Streets Yazee...many streets...you can walk around practically everywhere. There's loads of bridges though. But no you don't have to take a boat. Though there's some places you can only visit with a boat. Like the island of Murano where they make beautiful glass or Burano where the lace comes from...you'll see...we're going there tomorrow"

"Please...what ever you do, don't let me get lost" she laughed "I don't know a word of Italian"

"I won't let you get lost Yaz" she laughed "And you do have a phone" she giggled

"Oh...so I do...I fucking forgot...Why did I think it doesn't work outside UK?" she laughed "Jesus I really need some sleep"

"We will rest in a hotel and then we can go for a nice meal in the evening and have a walk around"
"Yes yes...definitely...I don't wanna sleep all the time...I wanna see everything"

Alex was fluent in Italian so Yaz let her do all the talking as they got off the boat. Strangely this part of the town didn't feel like it was floating on a water, it was just one big massive square with loads of people but when they started walking towards the Hotel that Alex obviously has been in before, because she knew exactly where she was going, it became apparent that this isn't a normal city. Yaz looked in awe at the tiny canals and how the houses were submerged in water. And how some of the doors were literally right above the water level. It completely fascinated her. They stopped at a bakery and her eyes widened at the selection of food she had never seen before. She didn't know that ordinary bakery products could look so attractive. They probably bought more than they could ever eat, but Yaz just wanted to try it all. Especially things made of puff pastry with pistachios and walnuts filled with chocolate. They looked absolutely amazing. She also felt like Alex was spoiling her by treating her like a princess.
It was a hot day and already close to one o'clock. Alexa's face was bright from the heat and she already had sun rash on her cleavage as her white cotton t-shirt had a rather large V-shaped opening in the front. Yaz was wearing a light cotton ankle-length dress with thin straps, but even she could feel the sun burning mercilessly on her back. It was a different heat to the British sun, this was really strong and something they rarely had at home. So they were both grateful when they finally reached some good shade inside the small alleys. They finally arrived at the hotel and Yaz was standing in the lobby looking at the most beautiful frescoes on the walls and all the decorations on the marble pillars. Alex reached into the back pocket of her jeans for their reservations and took their passports heading for the front desk.

"You alright?" she came back smiling

"It's so beautiful" Yaz said looking at the ceiling "Are those old...the frescoes?"

"No...those are newly painted but stunning nevertheless...It's my favorite place here. Did I tell you I was here for two months?" she said picking up the bags

"Really? When?"

"When I finished my university I went for a trip with my sister...we went all the way around Italy together, it was the best time ever in my life...First one as a girl as well...so I had two things to celebrate"

"Waaaw...that's so special"

"It was so beautiful Yaz...It was probably the only time in my life I felt truly happy...Apart from now when I have you" she smiled kissing her cheek

"Love ya" Yaz said smiling as they entered the elevator "God darling your chest is so red and your face"

"I know I'm like a lobster...I have my cream, I'll put it on after a shower....I really need a shower"

"God me too my dress is glued to me...I didn't think it was so hot here"

"Oh you have no idea. August can be so hot in Italy"

They came to their room and Yaz ran to the window looking down to the canal

"We're floating...OMG we are fucking floating"

Alex laughed "technically no...just big massive wooden stilts holding the foundations...I can show you later the drawings...It's amazing how they build it...Yaz..go take a shower first cause your exhausted and you need to sleep"

"What about your rash? It's not good your all sweating...go I'll just look at the canal I find this fucking amazing" she smiled

"Alright" Alex laughed and opened the suitcase taking some stuff out then rolled it back at the corner of the room

They had a beautiful room with antique-looking furniture and a large wooden bed, all in royal blue with striped wallpaper on the wall. Yaz took some things out of the suitcase leaving it on the bed and continued to look out the window. Since they were on the top floor, she could see most of the city and the small café in the street below.

"Right...I'm all done...your turn" Alex came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and smeared her face with cream. Her hair was frizzy from the shower and Yaz thought for a moment how absolutely beautiful she was so she walked past giving her a quick kiss on the cheek giggling then quickly wiped her mouth "Eeewwww cream"

Alex laughed and walked up to the window "I thought we have a nap...then go for a meal around five...How's that?"

"Perfect...won't be so hot either...I don't think you should be going into sun anymore today"

"No...not really...not unless I wanna look like a tomato for the rest of the holiday...we need to call mums"

"We do...let's do that now when I get out of the shower"

"Alright" Alex turned and just for a split second saw the reflection in the mirror of Yaz stepping into the shower. Her heart jumped for a second and she laughed to herself acting like a smitten teenager. As much as she was afraid of intimacy, recently the desire to be with her had overshadowed her fears. Which was more than welcome and a new feeling in her life.

They both changed and pulled the curtains over the wide open window to block the sun from entering the room and lay down on the bed exhausted. It was too hot to even cuddle so they just laced their fingers on the pillow and chatted for a while before falling asleep.

Evening came and Alex was digging through the suitcase. She came across the little bag from the jewelry store and quickly stuffed it deeper inside between the clothes.

"Yaz"

"Yes baby?" she turned around in a bathroom as she was platting her hair

"I bought something the other day...and...well being with you made me feel so much different about myself...What I'm trying to say is that you make me feel so beautiful"

"Awwww baby...you are beautiful...I wish you can see it...go on...what did you buy?" she smiled intrigued

"I need you to be honest" she scrunched her face

"I'm always honest...sometimes a bit too much"

"There's no such thing as too honest...anyway...just...stay there and don't look"

"Alright ..I won't"

Alex walked all the way to the door of the room into the small hallway and removed her shirt, then quickly changed into a brown baggy ankle length dress with wide straps and two large wooden buttons at each end of the straps. She returned to the room with a nervous purse

"Yazee" she said quietly arching her neck looking up at her

"OMFG....a dress"

"Yeeees....does it suit me?" she asked insecure

"OMG baby...you look fucking stunning"

"Really? I don't look silly do I?"

"Nooooo...Why the fuck would you look silly?" Yaz came out of the bathroom and reached for her hands "Baby...you look absolutely beautiful...and I fucking love this dress where did you get this from?"

"I ordered it online I was worried I'll have a meltdown in a store if I go and try them on"

"Darling" she let go of her hands and cupped her face "Please wear this more often...you look so so beautiful"

"Alright...I'd love to...I always wanted to...I just felt uncomfortable"

"Nooo...please...I love it. Will you keep it on for a dinner?"

"Yes...i got the shoes to match...look" she hopped to the suitcase and pulled out a pair of flat chocolate leather sandals out.

"They are organic leather...so not a real one it's actually made out cactus can you believe it"

"Aaa...vegan shoes....Those are so cool...I'm so proud of you" Yaz came up and kissed her shortly "Come on...go fishing getting ready"

Alex smiled so happily and continued getting ready. She felt almost free of something she couldn't really pin point or describe. She just knew it made her extremely happy.

They walked around for over two hours going into different little shops and just enjoying the nice, cool summer evening. Alex took her to one of the shops that sold Murano glass and showed her all the beautiful things made from it, from vases to absolutely stunning figurines, chandeliers, lamps and jewelry. It was a large store and Alex looked around like she was in a museum. Yaz noticed the cute jewelry. Silver charm bracelets that had the option of different pendants that could be attached to them. She looked across the store and saw Alex chatting with a girl who worked there. She didn't understand what they were saying, but the conversation was ongoing, so she took the opportunity to quickly pull aside the other girl who worked there.

"Do you speak English?"

"Yes...little" she smiled

"Oh great...Please I need this fast before my girlfriend sees"

"Alright" she smiled "I can do that" she quickly packaged up what Yaz chose and charged her just in time for Yaz to hide it in her bag before Alex turned around calling her

"Yazee...look"

"What baby?"

"Your better in this...Would this go into the living room?" she pointed to a beautiful earth-toned side lamp

"Yes OMG it would...but iff you get it now baby....where are we gonna put it? Aren't you scared it's gonna get damaged?"

"No no...see I just spoke to Gabriella here and she said if we pay today they can ship it for us to UK"

"Oh waaaw...that's fantastic"

"So should I get it?"

"Let's go half's on it...it's our apartment"

"Deal" Alex raised her hand giving her high five

"That's gonna look so pretty next to the sofa"

They had a nice meal in a small restaurant in one of the many narrow streets. It was quite and extremely romantic. When they finished eating and Alex hopped off to the toilet, Yaz quickly took out the gift box, leaving it on Alex's side of the table for when she returns.

"Goodness Yaz...this is one thing I will have to get used to?"

"What baby"

"Italian toilets in combination with a dresses...not a good combination" she said sitting down then saw a present "Is that for me?" she pointed her finger

"Yeeees...don't cry" Yaz smiled

"You got me a present?"

"OMG here she goes...don't cry silly...yes I got you a present...go on open it"

Alex took out a beautiful pendant bracelet with pink, white and blue hearts all over it, her chin wobbled as she looked at Yaz. "Is that?"

"Your flag baby" she smiled

"Yazee....this is beautiful"

"You really like it? I wasn't sure if it's too much"

"No...no it's beautiful...put it on" she reached across the table with her hand "Thank youuu...I'll kiss you when we're back in a room" she smiled

"Alright" Yaz smiled

It was late when they came back to the hotel. Alex fumbled in the bathroom as the skin of her chest was still sore and itchy. But she wasn't just fumbling over that. There was a lot more going on inside her head today 
She came out of the bathroom after almost an hour wrapped in a towel. Yaz was already in bed and just going through the photos she had taken that day. Alex left the towel on the edge of the bed and quickly crawled under the covers, wrapping an arm around Yaz's waist and burying her head in her hair.

"Hey baby" Yaz said quietly leaving her phine on a side table and turning around  "This is so beautiful...I still can't get over how all the houses are in a wa..." she went numb as her hand glided over Alex's bare skin.

"Hey" Alex said quietly as the light from the little side lamp shone on her nervously gazing at Yaz.

Alex pressed her lips at hers before she had any time to process or say anything. Small nervous moan leaving her lips as she kissed Yaz almost clumsy wrapping her fingers around her face and pressing herself against her.

"Alex ..what.." Yaz said into her lips

"I wanna be with you...proper" she said with a shaking voice as Yaz felt her tremble

"You sure baby?"

"Mmmm" she nodded stroking her face with her thumb "I want to Yaz"

"Alright..." she smiled and ran her hand over her arm and down her waist "Wasn't expecting this...let me find my brain"

Alex giggled "I think it's been long enough Yaz...I have to get over this, it's stupid"

"Alright baby...I'm not complaining...see that stupid grin...that's just shock" she giggled "One condition only"

"Mmmm?"

"You tell me if you feel uncomfortable...we stop"

"I won't...not this time" she said kissing her again

"I mean it Alex..." she said seriously

"I know Yazee....but I really want this...I'm not scared...well...maybe little" she giggled

"It's ok...you can stay under the duvet" Yaz giggled kissing the tip of her nose

"In a dark" she laughed "I love you...so much"

"Love you too...in fact adore you completely" Yaz said moving hair from her face gently

Alex closed her eyes and kissed her again. They kissed slowly and gently, and their hands wandered over each other. Yaz caressed her gently, just the tips of her fingers gliding over her hand and then sliding down her back making her tremble. Alex pulled her hand to the edge of the Yaz's top and slipped her fingers under the fabric, feeling the warm soft skin under her palm. "Please take it off" Alex whispered

"You sure?"

"Yes...please take it all off...I wanna feel you properly"

"Alright" Yaz smiled and wiggled underneath the duvet shedding her clothes and just dumping everything on a floor then took her underwear off last waiving her nickers in the air laughing "This is it" she said making Alex laugh and slingshot them across the room

"Well, that's somewhere on a lamp" Alex laughed as Yaz shifted closer to her then opened her arms "C'mere...wanna feel you like this"

She wrapped her legs around her and looked up at her smiling as Yaz hovered over her. Her heart was pounding so hard that she felt it in the back of her throat as it was the first time she felt someone touch her this this way. The warmth of Yaz's body pressing her into the mattress and feeling every part of her against herself was amazing and terrifying at the same time. But it was her Yaz, and she was exactly where she's was meant to be. And to feel her like this was another level of love she never knew it even exited.

"You feel so beautiful" Yaz said smiling showering her face with tiny kisses

"I'm so nervous...won't lie...but it feels so amazing at the same time"

"We go slow" Yaz said kissing her "You tell me everything...tell me what feels nice"

"This is very unromantic but my body functions a bit different...so...open that draw" she pointed to the side table

Yaz reached out confused and opened the draw to find a small bottle of lube "Oh...planning" she smiled

"Oh god...this is so embarrassing" Alex covered her face

"Hey...hey" she moved her hand "Don't baby...I need to learn...it's ok"

"It's hardly spontaneous" she said nervously

"That's ok...I tell you what...from now on I'll have that in my pocket all the time...so we can do spontaneous"

"Oh Jesus" Alex laughed "You're proper crazy"

"I just proper love you...and I want this to be as good as it can be for you"

Alex caressed her face and wrapped her arms around her shoulders pulling her slowly in for another gentle kiss. She ran her hand down Yaz's back and her fingers through her hair as they kissed more passionately. Yaz wrapped her hand around her neck and her lips trailed down her jaw over the curve of her shoulder leaving Alex breathless and sinking into the mattress. She rubbed her leg against her hip, losing herself in all the senses as Yaz continued to trace every inch of her skin from her collarbones to her earlobes, her fingers running over and around her breasts, then sliding down over the curve of her waist and her thumb finding a place in to the little hole of her hip bone.
She touched every part of Yaz that her hands could reach and kissed every inch of her that she could then watch as she disappeared under the covers, her hands touching every part of her and her lips pressing against her tender breast. Alex moaned, closing her eyes, she grabbed the edge of the pillow, clenching it in a fist, her back arching into the touch as Yaz's lips trailed over her chest and felt them pressed against each rib.

"You're so beautiful" Yaz said smiling as she came back into her lips

Alex looked at her with half-opened eyes brushing her hair from her face "I love you so much"

"You alright?"

"Mmmm...don't stop"

"Not unless you want me to" she said running her hand over her chest feeling her breathing heavily under her palm as her fingers ran over her stomach.

"Please don't," she said, throwing her arms over her shoulders

Alex twitched, smiling as she traced the line between her thigh bones. Her skin was already so sensitive to every touch, yet she felt herself wanting more, more Yaz all over her. She smiled a little sliding her hand under the covers running it over her and watching Yaz close her eyes. She was as soft and silky as Alex had imagined, and her belly was warm and fluffy to the touch.
Yaz opened her eyes and kissed her again then slowly moved down her body, her lips leaving a trail across the center of her stomach dropping kisses around her hips. Alex sighed deeply, seeping Yaz's  hair  through her fingers. She felt her caress her inner thighs and her lips trailing over her mound. Alex froze briefly, gripping Yaz's hair, her breath caught in her throat. She reached out, lacing their fingers, and felt Yaz's thumb brush her hand in reassurance as her hot breath hit her inner thighs. A soundless sigh left her lips as she went through her. She felt like velvet against her, soft and gentle, sending shivers down her spine. Alex forgot her fear and shame, she forgot her own name as she sank into bed. Her hand squeezing Yaz's and her fingers pulling her hair. She heard herself moaning through the haze of pleasure, her body and mind surrendering without restraint. Yaz smiled a little as she felt her rocking against her, chasing her lips. She felt her stomach churn under her palm as moans filled the room. Alex lost herself as the heat rushed through her cheeks like on a hot summer day as she shivered beneath her. Her body stiffened and she shuttered into million pieces, she gently stroked Yaz's hair and felt her climb up her body to kiss her open mouth.

"Hiya" she smiled with eyes half open stroking Yaz's cheek lazy pulling her for a kiss

"I love you so much" Yaz said into her lips "You're so so beautiful"

Alex was still breathing heavily smiling like she was drunk kissing her open mouth "I adore you Yazee...Why did you stop?" she said moving her hair from her face kissing  her

"I wasn't sure...."

"...I want all of you..." she said stroking her face

"You sure?...We don't have to tonight"

Alex rolled on her side draping her leg over her sides kissing her almost desperately "No pleaseeee...I want all of you"

Yaz giggled rubbing their noses together "Gimme mooore" she giggled making Alex laugh kissing her. Her cheeks still blushed she was wrapping her fingers around Yaz's face dotting kisses on her lips "Look at you...turning a corner..." she said running finger over her face gently

"This was more than I could ever imagine....I want to feel all of it...let me feel everything...I'm not scared anymore"

Seeing her letting herself go as she watched her with the softest smile was the most beautiful thing Yaz has ever seen. She felt like crushing her in her arms from love she felt for her.

"The only problem is we lost your magic potion" Yaz laughed

"Me whaaaa?" Alex asked confused

"The bottle...it's somewhere" she laughed

Alex slumped her face into her neck laughing "You silly sod...you got me so confused"

Yaz tapped around the bed and found it underneath the pillow then giggled disappearing underneath the covers making Alex laugh.
Then peaked out again "Question?"

"Yees" Alex still giggled

"I can use it normally right...like you know" she felt a bit like and idiot asking and the way she asked was making her feel even more bum but she did get worried not to hurt Alex and suddenly felt nervous as if it was the first time for her as well


Alex burst out laughing "Should do...I never tried...unless I have a duff one...which I hope I don't"

"I'm sure you don't...just don't wanna hurt you that's all"

"You won't" she smiled

"Right...let me just...I need to sort out this and...well...we're good to go" she said nervously and went back underneath the covers making Alex laugh wondering what she was even doing

​

"I hope for some lights next time" she giggled underneath the duvet "It feels beautiful, just so you know... I bet it looks even better...shame you're hiding it...I feel like on that treasure hunt" she said kissing her stomach whilst popping the bottle open

Alex laughed like crazy covering her face with her hands. "Fine you win!!" she giggled and grabbed the duvet throwing it to the floor leaving her bare to her eyes. She covered her face with her hands giggling embarrassed as Yaz sat between her legs "Sooo?...Do you like what you see?" she said into her hands

The light from the little lamp shined over her as she laid there exposed like never before. Yaz was in awe, she was more beautiful than Yaz could've ever imagined "Waaaw...I never thought it could look so perfect...And so neat...it's fucking adorable"

"Stooop" Alex laughed

"You have a Ferrari...custom made girl"

"OMFG...you're crazy"

Yaz shifted kissing her hand that covered her face "You asked...I'm honest...You're gorgeous...and cute and I fucking adore you"

Alex moved her hands and looked at her lovingly, smiling just a little, then brought her hand to the nape of her neck "And you are stunning Yaz...so so beautiful I'm embarrassed  to look" she smiled and pulled her in, kissing her like Alex always did, deep and passionate, a kiss that seemed to never end. She moaned quietly as Yaz stroke her gently

"Ready?" Yaz whispered smiling

"Yes please" she said almost dreamy and kissed her again then parted her lips with sight as she felt her inside her.

"Mmmmwha" some incoherent mumble left her mouth as Yaz started moving slowly. She sank onto the sheets and kissed Yaz one kiss after another rocking herself against her and wrapping herself around her leaning her head against her. She had another person inside her, a person she loved with every cell in her body was a part of her fully, completely and she couldn't get over this feeling. She felt parts of herself she never knew were there, she felt desire and passion in a way it never felt before and a desperate need to keep her there as a part of herself forever. She kissed Yaz as if the world was collapsing around them running her hand all over her to every part she could possibly reach moaning into her lips kissing her with half-open eyes, which Yaz found insanely attractive.

Alex slipped her hand between them over Yaz's stomach and between her thighs watching as she slammed her eyes shut with a soundless sight leaning her head against hers then kissed her strong and deep "I love you so much" Yaz said breathless into her lips

"Baby...I think I'm gonna..." Alex signed with her lips parted and went still, her toes curling up and clenching Yaz's forearm. She went limb in her arms. Her other hand gently stroking the inside of Yaz's leg.

Yaz watched every expression on her face mesmerized. She felt love for her she never felt before for anyone she's ever been with. Now more than ever she felt that so hard inside her.
She moved her hand smiling kissing her forehead.

"But you didn't..." Alex whined

"It's ok...next time" she smiled "...and I think you need to sleep"

"I love you...I love you so much my little Yazee" she said kissing her smiling with sleepy eyes and the happiest face ever

"I love you too beautiful" she kissed her forehead "Let me just get the duvet

Yaz picked up the duvet from the floor and pulled it over them. Alex curled up in her arms worn out, suddenly feeling tired and sleepy tucking her head into her neck kissing the crease. As she drifted off in her arms, Yaz watched the stars in the night sky and the clouds that slowly passed over the moon. She ran her fingertips down Alex's lower back, feeling her hot breath on her neck. Her brain just now catching up with everything and she suddenly felt a rush of emotions come over her. She was incredibly happy, she was more in love than ever and she was petrified so much it was choking her. She hoped to God that Alex was hers forever because she was so deep in this that she wasn't sure if she could ever live without her. She was afraid if this would ever end, that this was one person she would never be able to get over. And that thought made her feel so scared and so vulnerable. She tangled her fingers into her hair and pressed her harder against herself then drifted away herself.
She woke up early and wasn't sure what time it was. She figured Alex must have gotten up at some point as curtains were drawn over the windows and early morning light was faintly filtering through them but room was relatively dark. Alex was pressing to her back with her arm firmly around her waist and she felt her breathing into the back of her neck. She reached for her hand pressed it to her chest with a sigh. She should feel happy, elated and floating on clouds but instead she felt fear and anxiety.

"Mmmmmorning" Alex murmured into her back and kissed her shoulder

Yaz turned around and Alex looked at her in awe with a permanent smile across her face.

"Someone looking happy" she smiled

"Very happy" she said stroking her face and tangled their legs together. She fell silent stroking her thumb over Yaz's cheek as her eyes were roaming over her face

"Your looking at me like I'm a world wonder" Yaz said kissing the tip of her nose

"For me you are" she said and melted Yaz's heart

"I adore you...Hey guess what?" Yaz said smiling cuddling her arm

"What?"

"You're officially not a virgin anymore"

"You silly sod" Alex laughed kissing her cheek "I feel so silly now for freaking out so much"

"Cause you liked it so much?" she grinned

"I diiiid, I really did" she smiled almost silly then watched Yaz in silence "What's wrong darling" she stroke her face

"Nothing...nothing's wrong" Yaz said kissing her open palm

"Don't lie to me...You can smile as much as you want but your eyes are sad"

Yaz's chin wobbled "I don't wanna lose you"

"Waaaa...Yazee...OMG" she stroke her face and pressed a kiss to her lips "Why would you lose me?...Where is this coming from?"

Yaz swallowed hard and her eyes filed with tears "Every time I get so attached I get dumped...and I'm in this so fucking deep...I can't..."

"Oh Jesus..." Alex looked at her for a moment then pursed her lips "A fuck it" she wiggled over the bed getting up

"What are you doing?...Alex I'm sorry" Yaz sat up panicked

"Wait" Alex pointed a finger "I wasn't planning this...I mean I was...but not like this" she said tapping around the room naked pulling the suitcase over the room and tipping it

"Alex wtf?" Yaz frowned completely confused

"Just wait...you know I always fuck things up...cause I get flustered and then I say things the wrong way...and I really don't wanna say this the wrong way cause that would be just bad" she kept rambling on and digging through the stuff manically throwing everything out of the suitcase "I also wasn't planning to be but naked"

"Alex...what the hell are you going on about?"

"Aaaa there it is" she took the little bag out and climbed back into bed "Close your eyes"

"Ha?"

"Oh pleeeease...just close your eyes" she put her hand over Yaz's eyes

"Alright...alright...closed"

She fumbled with the bag and pulled out a box opening it with a grin "Yazee"

"Mmmm?"

"Will you pleaseeease pleaseeee marry me?"

"Fucking whaaaa?" she opened her eyes and saw Alex's face beaming like the star in a sky

"See...you're not gonna lose me and I'm absolutely not dumping you...I wanna marry you"
she said shaking and then saw Yaz stare back at her with tears rolling down her face shaking even more. And she didn't think it was even possible that anyone could shake more that her. But Yaz did "Do you? Wanna marry me?" she said happily lifting her hand practically waiving a ring in front of Yaz's face seeing her eyes changing focus from her face to the ring

"Mmm" she nodded as all the words got stuck at the back of her throat

"Is that a YES?"

"YEEES!!! IT'S FUCKING YES" she said bursting into tears and Alex grabbed the back of her neck before she had a coherent thought smashing their lips together. They kissed smiling and crying at the same time both shaking

"I love you so fucking much...and you're crazy" Yaz said smiling

"We both are but who cares" she said laughing "Now give me your hand" she fumbled taking the ring out practically destroying half of the box pulling it out, as her hands were shaking so much the ring got stuck to the little hook. But eventually she got it out and slipped it to Yaz's finger "Oh shit...too big"

"Who fucking cares...look" she moved it to the finger next to it "See...fits here...we get it fixed when we get home"

"I love you" she said wrapping fingers around her neck

"I really fucking adore you" Yaz said as they kissed again gently

"C'mere" Alex said dumping all the packaging on the floor and pulled her to lie down again tangling them together nose to nose.

"It's beautiful" Yaz said looking at it "I can't find my brain" she giggled

"Feeling better now?"

"Mmmm"

"I was gonna do it properly...some romantic place. But I can't have you thinking I'm gonna dump you. Specially not after last night"

"So you planned this before you even slept with me?" Yaz giggled

"Well, technically I was already sleeping with you" she giggled "But yes, that was the plan as well...I wanted it since Jamie's birthday. It's was then I made up my mind. I knew I can't let you go....I was afraid I'm gonna get dumped. So I thought I snatch you before you change your mind"

"If you only knew how desperate I was" Yaz giggled "So you planned sleeping with me as well...I mean on this holiday?"

"I did actually" she grinned "Wasn't sure when...just knew I wanted to...and last night I finally had that word with myself"

"Well, you don't do things half way do ya?" she smiled

"No I just do things tits upwards" she laughed

They fell silent as all the excitement wore off, just cuddling in silence.

Alex propped her head on her arm and ran a lazy line over Yaz's arm "What's it like...to be with me?" Alex asked quietly

"Beautiful...really beautiful" she said smiling tucking her hear behind her ear

"No...I mean...is it different?"

"You mean to other women?"

"To a real woman?"

"You are a real woman...don't say shit like that"

"Well...not really Yazee"

"Stooop...don't...you are to me...I don't fucking care about biology...It looks a little different...your Ferrari" she giggled making Alex laugh

"Oh god...It's a Ferrari now" she laughed covering her face with her hand

"My Ferrari" Yaz giggled "Yeah...it doesn't feel different...in any way"

"Waaaw...I was always wondering that...I did read about it and studied it...But I just wanted to know for myself"

"Are those scars...from the surgery?"

"Yap..." she nodded brushing her thumb over her face

"Fuuck...You have no clue how brave you are"

"I'm not brave Yaz...I'm not...I was shitting myself at the time"

"I love you...and I know I keep saying it...but I really do...so much"

"I love you too...end don't ever stop saying it...I can't get enough of it" she smiled and leid back down

"I'm still tiered" Yaz said tucking herself into her slipping her arm around her waist

"It's...." she looked at her watch "...five thirty in a morning Yazee...let's get some more sleep" she said and kissed the top of her head then snuggled "I need a shower but I don't have the strength"

"It's ok...you smell of strawberries" Yaz giggled then looked up at her with a smile across her face "You just asked me to marry you"

Alex sighed with a smile "I have...and you said yes"

They kissed gently and snuggled back falling asleep within few minutes.

…

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