It was six in the morning on a Saturday and Yaz was desperately trying to wake up sitting in the kitchen by the window with cookies and tea. Her eyes were closing while she was eating and Clara found it funny. She walked past her, lifting her chin, kissing her temple and stealing a bite of cookie from her hand. She looked at her sleepily and just noticed that she smelled absolutely divine and looked good enough to eat in brown pants and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up that exposed Yaz's absolute favorite part of her body. Clara always messed about thinking her favorite part was something else. But, as he says, it was the two of them that Yaz adored. Clara, on the other hand, absolutely adored Yaz's ass and couldn't keep her hands off of it. She never said it, but instead her hands did all the talking and it was very clear to Yaz which part of her body was her favorite.

"Ready sleepy head? Bags are in a car and you can sleep all the way" she smiled and kissed her forehead

"My soul is sleeping...honestly" she slumped to Clara's chest

"Oh boy...and you're mushy as well...I like when you're mushy...it's extra cute. But we need to get a shift on darling or I'll be late for the lecture....sorry"

"No it's fine" she got of the chair and wobbled to the car

Once she was in the car she woke up a bit with music playing on the radio and started chatting.

"We are getting a new car by the way next month"

"We are? How come?"

"My lazing company offered me a new one so I thought why not and I want something better for the snow"

"OMG so you will have a space ship babe"

"I already have a space ship love" she looked at her smiling

"Where is your ship by the way? And this the weirdest fucking question ever" she rolled her eyes laughing

Clara chuckled "Closer than you think Yaz"

"Will I ever see it or you will keep it away from me for the rest my life?" Yaz giggled like crazy at the bizarre conversation

"Sure...it's not because of you love...it's me"

"What do you mean" Yaz looked at her a bit confused

"Too tempting...you know,  to pull that lever"

"Why?"

"It just is Yaz...it's been my life for so long but I told you...way too unstable and way waaay too unpredictable...And iff you want me to keep this body I suggest we stick to Earth. Universe is not a safe place love" she glanced at her and stoke her face shortly

"Alright...I'm not arguing over that one for sure. God our conversations have got weird"

"What do you mean?"

"You know...between the wedding and did you get milk from the grocery store today, we're talking about you regenerating and fucking spaceships."

Clara started laughing "Alright...sorry...I'll stop"

"Noo...no you fucking won't...don't you dare. I want to know...spaceship" she shook her head in disbelief "That's just insane"

"And a time ship" Clara added

"Fuck off it's not!...You're messing me around now" Yaz turned around laughing

Clara didn't answer that, just laughed at her reaction and stroked her leg. It was the most genuine reaction and she found it adorable. She felt relieved that she could finally say some things, but she was still careful about what she was saying. It was a fine line she was dancing on and she wondered how much longer she would be able to hold on like this. It was never a problem to talk about what she was until now. But there were still many things she avoided in the great circle, hoping they would never have to roll over her mouth. The only thing she ever wanted to roll over her mouth was how much she loved the woman sitting next to her. That was the single most important thing in her life right now. And the rest was, as Yaz said herself, something that they would have to navigate slowly. Except Yaz had no idea how much navigation it would take.
Five minutes into the journey she was fast asleep, and Clara continued to drive with soft music in the car stroking her leg from time to time and making sure she's comfortable. It was a nice sunny day for a change and no rain. She remembered how many times she had drove this path before Yaz was in her life. Three months, to be exact, of driving up and down this road all alone, worried about the future ahead. And now this future seemed brighter. She still hadn't fully recovered from the conversation they had the day before. It was something they had never discussed and it wasn't the answer she wasn't expecting. Clara didn't really expect much, she mostly hoped for the best in all of this. Simply take one day and one conversation at times. All she knew was that she was absolutely hopelessly in love and was willing to put her hearts on the table and lay herself bare in front of Yaz for any part of her he was willing to take. She just hoped she would want to take all of it.

"Hey sleepy face...wake up darling" Clara said  as she parked up in front of the usual pub stop.

Yaz opened her sleepy eyes slumped in the seat and she looked a bit disoriented

"Yaz...darling...are you alright?" Clara turned around concerned

"Mmmm...I just had a weirdest dream"

"About what darling...you look lost Yaz, what's going on?"

"I was dreaming that you and I where on some other planet...And someone was chasing us...
I don't know it's silly" she smiled "I think it's all the talk about the spaceship and where you come from"

"Hey lovely...it was just a dream" she brushed her thumb over her face

"I know...it's ok love it's not like the other time...that was just horrible...but this was so...You know when you have one of those dreams that seem so vivid that when you wake up it feels like you were really there"

"It's our brain that makes it feel like that. Accept it's not very nice when it's a horrible dream"

"It's fine...come on let's go babe"

"Hey...c'mere" she placed her hand  at the back of her neck and placed a gentle kiss on her lips "I love you so much Yasmin"

"I love you too...I'm fine...really, promise...Come on I'm starving" she smiled and opened the door

 

....

 

They arrived at the hotel and Yaz slumped on the bed watching Clara change for the lecture. She watched as she removed the braces from her shoulders and let them fall loosely over her hips, then pulled her shirt out of her trousers and her long fingers unbuttoning it leaving it open as she took the new one out of the suitcase. Yaz's eyes were fixed on her so Clara walked past the bed kissing her forehead smiling.

"You're cute like this...Are you gonna go out or stay in a hotel?"

"I'll go out. I saw there's an exhibition near by. It looks cool I wanna go and see it"

"That's nice...I'll call you when I'm done and we grab a lunch together. How does that sound?"

"I'll miss ya" she pouted her lips

"I'll miss you as well Yaz...but I won't be long honey"

"I know" she smiled and grabbed her hand pulling her on the bed

"Yaaaz...that's extremely distracting love" she laughed wrapping herself around her kissing her "But I neeed to go...I'm so late Yaz"

But Yaz couldn't help it, for her it was distracting seeing Clara parading in her underwear around the room. Her hands were all over her and she longed for her so much

"I need you" she said kissing her in almost desperation pulling elastic of her underwear playfully

"Do not touch my nickers young lady...that's just giving me a head wonk!" she laughed pining her hands above her head and sat on her "I have to go...I'm so sorry"

Clara gave in at the end and laid on the bed for only a few minutes. Their heads pressed together kissing and cuddling, but then Clara gave her that look that meant she didn't want to let go and she waited for Yaz to let her go.

"Alright....go then" she released the grip pouting her lips "I love youuuuu"

"You're adorable you know that" she kissed the tip of her nose "I want to stay believe me I do...But I can't" she kissed her one more time and then got out of bed quickly getting dressed

Yaz was left alone and took a quick shower to fully wake up and change. She was looking forward to a little walk and exhibition. It was finally a beautiful sunny warm spring day in Oxford and she couldn't wait to get out of the room which was sad without Clara in it. As the months passed, her need to have Clara with her constantly grew stronger and it was a new feeling in her life. She had never been so dependent on someone's presence as she was now. The feeling confused her a little because it was mixed with an inexplicable fear of losing her. She needed her arms around her and her touch on her skin at all times, her scent around her. And realized that without it she becomes almost anxious. She had no idea if this was normal or not. She had no references because Clara was the first person in her life with whom she was in a relationship, so everything was new, and along the way she was also discovering herself.

She walked around for a bit and sent a selfie to Clara saying she missed her. Got a reply back within few minutes.

"I can't wait to kiss ya...you look good enough to eat"

Yaz laughed every time Clara said that line. She really had no idea what that meant, and Yaz wasn't about to say it either, it was too funny so she kept quiet. She walked through the exhibition. It was held in the library and she loved it. Beautiful pictures of fictional landscapes and vivid colors. There was one picture in particular that caught Yaz's attention. It was a picture of an elderly gentleman with gray hair and a futuristic city behind him in the colors of a sunset. She stood in front of it for a while and noticed something strange, something that made her almost press her face to the painting itself. A small and imperceptible detail in the pupil of the eye. A blue box, the same blue box as the one in her garden.

"Excuse me miss, you can't get so close to the paintings" the curator tapped her on a shoulder gently

"Oh, so sorry, of course...Ah...could you please tell me the name of the artist who painted this.
It doesn't say in a brochure" she asked flipping through it

"The author of the exhibition wanted to stay anonymous. You see the proceedings from the sale are going to charity"

"I see..." she said disappointed "I understand. Thank you"

She waited for the lady to move then snapped  few photos of the painting and others as well.
Her phone pinged with a message from Clara.

"Hey lovely...finally done...meet your wife for lunch? xx"

Yaz's face brighten at the message and she quickly replied back

"Can't wait to meet my wife xxxxx"

...

Yaz sat in the restaurant waiting and going through her phone looking at the picture again. She wondered if she was giving too much importance to everything. At the end of the day it was a typical UK police phone box and nothing out of the ordinary. She thought that maybe, after learning about Clara, she was overthinking everything and seeing patterns where there weren't any. Suddenly, a kiss on her temple made her jump "Fuck me babe!" she jolted

"Oh I will Yaz" Clara whispered in her ear lifting her eyebrow smirking and then sat down "You do realise you seriously have to stop saying that in public?"

She giggled "I know it's gross...I am aware of it"

"And we keep having a same conversation about it as well...three time to be exact" she said stealing Yaz's juice from the table

"Alright...I got the memo" she rolled her eyes laughing

"So who's the gray Scotsman in your phone Yaz?"

"Ha?"

"The old git in your phone?"

She frowned confused "It's the painting from exhibition silly woman...look" she passed her the phone

"Oh, that's nice" she makes a rather unimpressed face and gives her the phone back "So, did you have a nice time?"

"Yeah...it's a nice sunny day for a change. I swear I started thinking we have this rain clouds flowing us around"

"Clouds can't follow you Yaz... believe me I should know...if they could I would have half of the sky going after me"

"You silly sod" she laughed and opened the menu

"Mmmm...look I love gnocchi...do you know they were  invented  by a Roman gourmet Marcus Gavius Apicius, back in 1st century AD?"

"No...how the hell would I know that babe...And how the hell do you know all that as well...you're literally like a living breathing encyclopedia"

"Oh, he was a fun guy Yaz...loved his luxury though...spent way to much money and total party animal" she scrunched her face "Anyways I'll have gnocchi with mushrooms...sounds yummy...You Yaz?"

"Right" she laughed shaking her head at her funny face "It does sound nice...alright I'll just have the same then"

"Brilliant" she smiled and waved to the waitress

"So what's the plan for today?"

"It's a nice day Yaz I thought we pop over to botanical gardens. I always wanted to take you there but the weather was awful every time. And it's very romantic" she flashed a smile

"Aaaaa...romantic...Alright I like that plan"

....

 

They walked around for nearly two hours, slowly enjoying in the sunshine. Yaz wore a beautiful blue knee-length dress with a white cardigan and sneakers. Clara liked to see her in dresses. She found it irresistibly cute mostly because it was something extremely feminine that she could never see herself wearing, but it looked beautiful on Yaz. Her hair was braided into two French braids from each side of her head and she looked adorable.
Yaz kneeled by the little lake and threw food for the ducks and Clara tapped her shoulder pointing to the ducklings swimming across

"Look Yaz...they are so cute"

"OMG that's fucking adorable" she laughed at the cute little flakes swimming behind their mom Clara reached for her hand pulling her up, then intertwined her fingers and continued walking slowly towards the exit

"This was absolutely beautiful. Thank you darling"

Clara smiled and picked a yellow flower tucking it behind her ear "You don't have to thank your wife Yaz. You look gorgeous"

"We are alone you know" she smiled cheeky and Clara knew what she was implying

She quickly looked around and wrapped fingers around her face kissing her softly. Yaz brushed her thumb over her face smiling "I really fuckin love you"

Clara shook her head laughing "And I really love that dirty mouth of yours"

"My dirty mouth wants to kiss the hell out of you now. So I suggest you take me back to the hotel" she said giggling

"Alright missy...let's go"

 

....

 

They lay in bed for hours, decided not to go anywhere. Just enjoying the time together after spending most of the afternoon outside, which Yaz welcomed with open arms. She was already craving her touch from being away from Clara for most of the morning and then spending time outside. She had also been having bad dreams for days and she didn't want to bother or worry Clara about it, but it was taking a lot out of her and she wasn't getting enough rest at night. So during the day she was extremely lethargic and emotional, sometimes even on the verge of tears. The dreams she had were chaotic and terrifying, waking her up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, disoriented, and she would just snuggle up to Clara, burying her head in her neck for comfort.
Clara entangled them so much that there was not even an inch of space between them. She ran her fingers down Yaz's back and showered her face with kisses across her nose, cheeks and lips as she spoke softly. It was hot under the covers and with their bodies wrapped together probably even too hot for Yaz. But she knew Clara was nice and warm, so she didn't mind the slight discomfort from the heat. Her fingers traced Clara's lower back over the vertebrae of her spine and then down her soft curves making Clara giggle every now and then at how ticklish it was. Yaz called it her sweet ticklish bum.
Yaz enjoyed those moments so much, especially on rainy days when they would decide to stay home for the weekend listening to the rain pouring down the roof drain without getting out of bed for hours. Then running downstairs to the kitchen rummaging through the fridge or continuing to cuddle on the sofa.

Clara had spent the past hour talking to her about her childhood. She told her about Gallifrey and what life was like there. She also told her about her so-called mother and how she found her next to a portal on some planet and then experimented on her. Yaz wanted to know, but at the same time she was completely mortified by the story of her memories being erased and not really knowing who she was. She released that Clara had actually been brutally abused as a child and her heart was breaking in half. But Clara talked about it with emotional distance and just told her the cold facts.
She then moved on to talk about the academy which suddenly lit her up inside. She explained about the Time Lords and the Untempered Schism, the gap in the fabric of reality from which the entire Vortex can be seen and how it played a vital role in becoming a Time Lord. It all felt like a Star Wars script to Yaz and her brain needed to adjust to the fact that this was actually the reality of Clara's life. It was probably the first time Clara had told her so much at once. Normally, Yaz would have stopped her when he saw her getting upset, but this time she seemed calm and relaxed. Telling her funny stories about skipping classes at the academy and the stupid things she did that got her into trouble.

It was amazing to listen to, and Yaz also thought how life out there was not so much different than on Earth. Still equally complicated and filled with love, hate, playfulness, passion, happiness and sorrow. A stream of complicated emotions and relationships that had many different layers. And how Clara wasn't really that different from any other human being, the only thing that separated her from humans was her DNA, longer lifespan, and regeneration. But even on Earth some species had this ability, lizards could grow limbs with little or no problem, so it wasn't a concept that far fetched.

When Clara fell silent, Yaz cupped her face and planted a small kiss on her lips smiling then tucked her hair behind her ear looking at her stunning hazel eyes that reminded her of autumn leaves

"What darling? You look sad? What's on your mind? Is it something I said Yaz?"
"Nooo...OMG absolutely not love. That was mind blowing...I absolutely loved it. Thank you"

"For what Yaz? I don't understand?"

"Giving me that part of you. I know that's not easy for you" she said stroking her face ever so gently "I'm just sad love because you went through so much pain darling. I can't imagine what you went through. Just a thought of you going through something like that makes me feel ill"

"It's in my past darling" Clara dotted kisses over her face "Don't be sad...I didn't tell you this to make you sad. I don't wanna make you cry Yaz...it was so long ago it doesn't hurt me anymore lovley I sorted it out"

"Did you? How?"

"I stole my memories back Yaz" she grinned haply "Just haven't looked at them yet" she scrunched her nose "But I know how you can help me"

"How darling?...Tell me I'll do anything"

"You can kiss me" she grins

"You silly sod" Yaz giggled ruffling her hair

"I'm serious Yaz...dead serious...It really helps. They are absolutely hundred percent therapeutic"

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmmm...absolutely" Clara smiled and pulled her over, wrapping her arms around her

"Well then I'll just have to kiss you all over" she giggled dotting her whole face in small kisses

"Mmmm...I already feel better Yaz but you need keep going" she smiled

"I think that can be definitely arranged" she grins and slumps under the covers

....

 

Yaz woke up in the middle of the night. Another nightmare, but when she reached over the bed, Clara wasn't there. She looked around and saw her sitting by the window looking out. The moonlight shined on her bare skinny legs. Her white shirt glistened in the moonlight. To Yaz she looked so beautiful. She didn't want to disturb her, she just watched her in the stillness of the night, wondering what her beautiful little Time Lord was thinking, where she was traveling in her mind.

"I can feel your eyes on me lovley" she turned around smiling and reached her hand out "C'mere"

Yaz got up and sat on the window seat in front of her leaning against her.

"Why are you awake?" Clara kissed her shoulder and wrapped her arms around her

"Just a bad dream...It's fine"

"Again Yaz?"

"It's fine...what were you thinking?"

"How beautiful the sky is in a moonlight. Look Yaz...all rhe clouds how they shine" she pointed her finger

"It's beautiful...You notice things people normally ignore you know. Mostly they just take it for granted"

"It's a shame...how can you ignore something so beautiful. I like to watch sky at night, It comes alive....you see worlds that are hidden by the sun"

"I never thought about it that way before"

"Yeah look Yaz, that's Sagittarius...that's where Gallifrey is...right in that direction...not far from there...Well, 250 million light years from Earth...not that far" she laughs

"Oh...just around the corner then" she laughed "You silly sod"

Yaz put her head on her shoulder and together they looked at the stars. Clara telling her about the different constellations and then telling her about some crazy worlds and pink beaches she mentioned earlier. But this time Yaz believed they were definitely real. She fell asleep in her arms and Clara moved her to bed without Yaz waking up. She just moaned happily as Clara lay down behind her kissing her shoulder blade.

....

 

Yaz was sitting in a nice café waiting for Clara and going through her phone. She texted her mom and sister, then called one of her rare friends, Jenny, and told her all about the wedding. She hadn't seen her in months since she left for France and couldn't wait to meet her next month when she returned. She never saw Clara because she left right after Yaz met her. Jenny was one of those friends whom Yaz trusted completely and was always telling her everything. She cried on her shoulder because of her broken heart many times. Unlike Yaz, Jenny was extremely confident in herself and never cared too much about other people's opinions. She had her own life challenges that made her the person she is today. Being the child of a broken family and a mother who was in and out of rehab most of her life, her younger sister mostly depended on her for the basics, while her father spent his days at the local pub. They had a grandmother who was a lovely woman but was in poor health and was limited in what she could do to help. Yaz's father sent them food from time to time. He loved to cook and was delighted that Jenny and her sister enjoyed every meal he made. When Yaz told her about Clara, she screamed into the phone so hard she nearly broke her eardrum, and when she told her she was getting married, Jenny almost dropped the phone and accused Yaz of making her cry for the first time in ten years. She was going to be her made of honor, accepted Jenny begged Yaz not to make her wear a dress to which Yaz laughed and said how her and Clara will definitely get along grait.
Yaz managed to kill nearly three hours all by herself and now she couldn't wait for Clara to come back. They were going to the wedding venue today and she was nervous and exited at the same time.

"Hey lovely" Clara came behind her kissing her temple "Who are you chatting to?"

"I called Jenny"

"Aaaaa...When she coming back?"

"In three weeks. I can't wait for you to meet her"

"I'm exited about meeting your friend Yaz. She sounds lovely"

"She is...I love her to bits"

....

 

"Exited?" Clara asked smiling as she was parking the car in front of their wedding venue

"Yeeeeesss" Yaz smiled wide, she was shaking from inside and glued her face to the window looking at the magnificent hotel "OMG babe...this looks better than on photos

"Told ya" Clara smiled unclipping her seat belt "Come on" she nodded her head grinning

They came out of the car and Clara reached for her hand. She was nervous herself being here first time with Yaz. She may have played it down all this time but now she was finally here with her, her hearts were popping out of her chest and she could swear her hands were shaking. She grabbed Yaz's hand tight and they walked into the reception.

"Hi, I'm the Doctor and this is Yasmin Khan my fiance. We're here to meet miss Anna regarding our wedding arrangements for June"

"Oh, hello. Nice to meet you both. Yes, could you wait for few minutes please I'll tell her you're here"

"Sure" Clara replied and turned towards Yaz. She couldn't stop grinning and Yaz couldn't stop giggling squeezing her hand

"I'll pass out babe" Yaz said literally shaking

"Please don't Yaz...I can't be in this alone" she laughed "I've never felt so nervous in any of my lives Yaz"

"Doctor" the lady came over

"Aaaa...Hello...Nice to see you again. This is Yasmin Khan. My wife...aaaa future wife...fiance...sorry nervous. Never been nervous before"

"It's fine. Everyone is belive me. Yasmin nice to meet you...Well, let me show you everything" she smiled and took them around showing Yaz every single detail and talking her through it.

"Dear god....should I be taking notes?" Yaz said nervously

"No need...I'll pop it all in an email for you don't worry. So how do you like it so far?"

"Love it...What's not to like...this is absolutely gorgeous" she kept smiling still squeezing Clara's hand

"As you see the lavender is still not in bloom but in june the whole garden will be in full blossom and it's absolutely stunning"

"I'm sure it is" Yaz said excited. Her eyes kept wondering around the place nervously. It was actually hitting her how real this was and that it is actually happening

"Well, it was so nice to meet you both this time and please iff you have any questions feel free to call me or email me at any point"

"Sure no problem" Clara shook her hand "Thank you so much for seeing us on such a short notice"

"It was my pleasure. Have a nice day"

"You two. Bye" said Yaz and turned around to Clara with a massive smile across her face

"Happy?"

"Crazy more describes how I feel babe....This is awesome"

"Told ya...Sonya did a grait job in finding this place. Come on let's go darling. We still have a long way back home