They pulled up in front of the house and Yaz could see on Clara she was absolutely exhausted. Apart from making a short few stops she was driving half of a day. She insisted on carrying suitcases and almost had a push and pull situation with her because she refused Yaz to carry them saying how she's built different and was much stronger. The truth was that Clara carried them with ease and Yaz could never figure it out. But never the less she was tiered.

"It's nice to be home" Yaz said as they walked into the kitchen then

"It is but it also means you're going to work soon and I hate it" Clara said taking her coat off and dropping it over the chair. Then pulled Yaz by the arm and practically slammed her into her chest "Can't I just keep you here all the time?"

"If money grew on trees babe yes...But unfortunately it doesn't" Yaz giggled kissing her "Hey why don't you go and take a shower and rest for a while and I'll make some food. How does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect. I swear I stink"

"No you don't...I can assure you...you never do...but it will make you feel better"

"Alright darling" she kissed her head and went upstairs

Yaz put the dinner on and kettle for the tea. She looked outside and relased it was snowing. Only lightly and it wasn't really gripping to the ground but nevertheless it was beautiful to see. She was happy they were home. This house became close to her heart and she loved every corner of it. Now more so than ever it started to feel like a real home. She knew she had to call her mother but she put it off because she was at a loss to say anything on the phone or wait until she actually saw her parents so she decided to call her sister instead

"Sonya hi"

"Hey...are you back?"

"Yap...we just came in half an hour ago. We haven't even unpacked"

"How was it? "
"Beautiful absolutely stunning...but there's something else as well...are you alone?"

"No give me minute..."

She could hear Sonya leaving the apartment going outside "Now I am...What's wrong...did you have an argument....Please don't say you're coming back home or I'll kill you I just got the room"

"Noooo shut up...nothing like that...keep the room for fuck sake...Listen...I don't know weather to say this on a phone or wait till I see mum and dad"

"What for fuck sake...I know you're not pregnant" she laughed

"Oh fuck off...No I'm not but I am engaged"

"You fucking whaaa?"

"Engaged...Clara popped a question for Christmas"

"I knew it...I fucking knew it...Didn't I tell you...I'm good...I'm really good...see you should listen to me more often...I saw how she looked at you Yaz...well I saw how you looked at her as well and it was embarrassing"

"OMFG where do you switch off...So tell me..."

"Sorry...tell you what? By the way I'm happy for you...She's ace"

"When do I tell mum and dad for fuck sake Sonya?"

"Oh, that....I'd wait...not over the phone. You know them...there's gonna be million questions and mum and nanny will wip you in to buy a dress next weekend...Not that you're in a rush...you're already banging each other's brains out...literally"

Yaz just cracked up laughing "You're fucking crazy you know that. I love you"

"I love you too...Are you happy?"

"I'm not just happy Sonya I feel like I'm going mad...I'm sure this isn't a normal behavior"

"I'm sure it is...My sis is getting married waaaw...I need to hurry up"

"Thanks Sonya...love ya"

"Love you too...bye babe"

"Bye"

She hung up then called her mum telling her how beautiful it was and how the trip went. And now she was exhausted. It was getting darker outside and the garden looked beautiful. Snow started gripping to the ground and little snow fakes glisening in the garden lights.
Dinner was done and she walked upstairs to get Clara but when she came upstairs she found her sleeping on the bed dressed up. Yaz sighed and came up to the bed. She took her cufflinks off and started unbuttoning her shirt.

"Hey" Clara woke up

"Hey you...come on darling let me get this off you need to sleep"

She pulled her by the hand on the bed and curled up around her kissing her "I love you" she grinned

"I love you too but you need to rest"

"I also need a shower...I also need a cuddle"

"Ok...it can all be arranged" she giggles running hands over her kissing her "Dinner is done"

"I can smell it" she said dotting kisses all over her face

"It's snowing" Yaz said rolling on top of her

"Is it?" she jumped exited

"Yap it looks beautiful"

"Alright...I'll be fast I promise" she tapped her bottom and rolled them around the bed kissing her one more time running hands down her sides

"Stop that I'm hungry"

"Mee to Yaz" she said raising her eyebrow

"Shower...now" she got off the bed giggling

 

....

 

Yaz woke up early the next day. It was a working day for her and she was dragging her feet. She was already dressed having a tea and crumpets in a kitchen waiting for Clara to get dressed. She held her up this morning not letting get leave the bed it was way to tempting to say no. So now her breakfast was cut shot, not that she was complaining. The garden was covered in a thik layer of snow but not the lue box. Yaz was now seriously bothered by this and trying to find some logical explanation to it in her head.

"It's beautiful isn't it" Clara said making her jump
She had a way of creeping up to her without one sound

"It is but all I'm thinking about is how I'm gonna spend most day outside and suddenly it doesn't seem so beautiful anymore" she said kissing her "Crumpet?"

"Mmmm...that's nice" Clara took a bite and was trying to get the las cuddle out of before they separate "I'll miss you. I hate you doing this job you know Yaz. I think you're better than that" she kissed her temple and took tea "I will come late today sorting out the house and I need to go to uni today"

"Well holiday is definitely over. I need to go babe" she kissed her short and grabbed her hat from the table "Love ya"

 

....

 

It was grueling day at work for Yaz. Snow was falling relentlessly and she was outside most of the day. Car crash after a car crash. She texted Clara most of the day and got a reply almost instantly each time which made her heart warmer. She came back to the station late, her shift lasted almost twelve hours. Her body ached and she was frozen to the bone. Her trousers wet from the snow that at some point just turned into a slushy mess on the roads.
She came home to an empty house and popped shopping bags on a counter. She bought a quick dinner that only needed to be shoved in the oven. Clara was still out so she stacked up the fridge put the dinner on and went to take a shower. 

It was almost eleven and Clara wasn't home yet. Yaz fell asleep on the sofa. It was dark where she was and she was all alone, very cold. Her heart was pounding and she was in a lot of pain. She opened her eyes and saw her hand laying on the floor, but the pain was so bad she couldn't keep her eyes open and she had no idea where she was or how she got there, the only thing she knew was that she was so scared. The last thing she remembers was that she was outside dealing with a traffic dispute. She started to panic, but she couldn't move. Her body was heavy and in so much pain it pierced her spine up to her head. And when she tried to move, she fainted from the pain, feeling that she was floating and coming back. The floor was cold and hard. And the darkness in the room was too thik to see anything. She tried to stand up again, but the pain was too great and she couldn't so she began to cry out of depression, tears rolling down her face falling onto the cold floor. She was scared, petrified a feeling she didn't even know existed, but mostly felt helpless thinking nobody knows where she was, she was all alone, how will anyone find her. But then she heard voices, a familiar voice Clara's voice and other people's. She heard gunshots outside but couldn't move. Passing out from pain in and out of concussions. Someone called a doctor...and then shots fired. She saw Clara's face in blur and then a bright light shine in her eyes. She felt fear, horror seeping through her, consuming her every cell.

"Yaz!...Yaz!"

She heard Clara but she couldn't move like she was there but not. Like something was holding her back and her mind was awake but her body paralyzed.

"Yaz...wake up Yaz"

Yaz screamed from the bottom of her soul and finally opened her eyes. "NO...LEAVE ME ALONE" She was smacking Clara and shouting.

"Yaz it's me darling it's fine" she cupped her face "It's alright darling...love please it's me"

She finally calmed down and relased she was home. Her heart racing she was panting  hysterically but Clara was right there holding her scared and worried out of mind. Yaz cried and threw herself into her arms shaking like a branch and she felt so cold. But she was home. She was so happy she was home.

"It's ok darling...I'm here...I'm here love" Clara rocked in her arms and Yaz was pulling her shirt clenching for it. She was scared out of her mind. The feeling still inside her and slowly going away slowly subsiding. Her ters were rolling down her face and all she knew right now was that she desperately needed Clara.

"Don't leave me...please don't leave me" she cried grabbing on to her

"No chance...Never...Not in million years. It's fine darling I'm here" Clara rocked her but her face was like a stone worried her jaw clenched tight.
Yaz was finally calming down.

"I'm so cold" she said quietly and Clara leyed her back on a sofa.

She got up and went to the cabinet then zoomed a sonic around her and into her eyes and Yaz flinched.

"It's fine darling. Just looking that's all" she looked at the reading. Yaz's brain was like on fire. And her temperature plummet. She got up and frantically scanned the room.

"Yaz darling...I need to get something it will make you better. I'm not gonna leave you...I'm right here. I'll be back in literally two seconds"

"Promise" she said curled up on a sofa and Clara took a blanket of the other sofa tucking her in

"I promise darling..." she kissed her temple and ran out through the back door of the kitchen and bursting through the Tardis door clapping her hands. Tardis lid up instantly.

"I need you...I'm sorry" she ran around the console and flipped the monitor. Nothing all clear all normal. Tardis hummed and she quickly grabbed the shot and ampulla from the console "I owe you one. Love you" she said and zoomed out back to the house

Yaz was still on a sofa. Shaking, cold trying desperately to warm up but she couldn't. Her head was hurting so much she felt like she will throw up on the floor and she couldn't keep her eyes open but in a same time she was so scared to close them because she didn't want to end up back in that place. Clara came back and as soon as she did Yaz felt calmer.

"This going to hurt a little but it will make you feel better darling" she gave her shot and kissed her temple

"What happened? What's going on?" she asked shaking. Clara was kneeling by the sofa stroking her forehead. It felt nice and calming

"Sleep darling...It's gonna be ok" 

....

 

Yaz felt a finger stroking her forehead right on the hairline. And it felt nice and calming, familiar sweet smell around her that felt like home. The lights in the bedroom were dimmed, she opened her eyes and Clara smiled at her softly

"Hey beautiful"

"Hi" Yaz said quietly and smiled

"How are you feeling?"

"Warm...What happened?"

"You had fever darling. You must have frozen at work"

"No but that place...It was horrible"

"It was a bad dream love. You were out for twelve hours Yaz in a freezing cold all wet. You came home and started burning up. It was just a nightmare from fever"

Clara gently ran a finger down her forehead and stroke that little part between her eyebrows, lulling her to sleep

"I was so scared...I didn't know where I was...It was dark and I was in so much pain"

"Shhhhh...don't think about it now. Sleep darling. I called at the station you're staying home for next few days"

"Clara I have to work, I just came back of the holiday"

"You're not going back to twelve hour shifts on that weather Yasmin this isn't a discussion. Please sleep now...you need to rest"

"Don't go" Yaz said snuggling into her neck

"No chance...I'm not going anywhere" Clara kissed the top of her head and put her arms around her.

The next morning Yaz was burning up and her throat was like she swallowed razors. She was in a desperate need of a shower and her head felt like it was splitting in half

"Slowly babe" Clara said as she was getting her up "Just stand there I'll do everything. Hold on to me"

"Yaz held her shoulders wiles she was taking her clothes of. She felt so dizzy she could barely keep her balance

"Hands up love" she said and pulled her pajamas over her head "There we go...come on...Water is hot already you'll see it will make you feel better and I made some nice soup. It won't hurt your throat"

"What would I do without you ha?"

"Oh I don't know Yaz...be lonely and miserable"

Yaz giggled "You silly sod...But you're absolutely right"

"I know I would be too lovely" she kissed her temple and helped her into the shower

"It's ok babe I can do this myself...you're gonna get all wet"

"No way Yaz...so what if I do I can change"

"You just want to touch my body admit it" she giggled as Clara was spreading soap over her

"I could think of more romantic ways Yaz believe me than you burning in fever. But it's always nice to touch you, yes" she smirked looking up and put a foam on top of her nose "You just get better for me ok"

"Deal...that feels nice. I was really freezing yesterday and my trousers were all wet from the slush in a first hour. When I came home I couldn't feel my toes"

"Yaz...you're ill, so I'm not gonna talk about this now. But when you do get better I want us to sit down and talk about you career choices"

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean Yaz is that I'm not working my ass of for my wife to stand for twelve hours in a freezing cold completely wet. It's inhumane....but as I said when you get better" kissed her forehead and closed the water then took a big a fluffy towel and wrapped her up in it. "Come on love...slowly"

Yaz held her shoulder and got out of the shower. She felt better and she wasn't sure was it the shower or all the love she was getting from Clara or both. But she was completely overwhelmed and felt extremely emotional. Clara was drying her out with a towel occasionally glancing at her giving her a soft smile.

"I love you...so much Clara" she said with a wobbly bottom lip holding her shoulder as she was crouched down drying her legs

"And I adore you too" Clara cupped her face placing a short kiss on her lips "Come on let's get you dressed. Don't cry lovely...I got fresh pajamas for you"

She literally did everything for her, dressed her completely and brushed her hair even plaited it at the back.

"Right...you're all set. Are you ok to walk down?"

"Yes babe don't worry"

They came downstairs and Yaz made herself comfortable on a sofa. Then Clara brought her a tray with a hot soup and went upstairs to change.

"I have to go now" Clara said  from the hallway  and came into the living room putting  her coat on "But I made you a tea and you got everything in a fridge. Just don't walk too much please because you're wobbly on your feet....Oh yes...shoot almost forgot" she zoomed to the kitchen and came back with strange contraption

"What's that?" Yaz said frowning

"Oh...just a shot...it will make you feel better"

"Whaaa? Where the hell did you get that from?"

"Doctor...remember" she winks and gives her a shot into her neck

"Ouch!"

"Sorry" she scrunched up her face and kissed her forehead "I really have to go now...no time darling. But I won't be long and please call me...text me anytime"

"I will promise. Love ya" Yaz said and the door shut.

She heard the car leaving and sighed taking a remote control and switching tv on. Then she remembered she should really call her mum so she picked up a phone

"Yaz is everything ok?"

"Hay mum...no not really. I'm ill"

"Oh honey...what's wrong? You do sound ill"

"I had a twelve hour shift yesterday and froze solid. So now I'm pretty fucked up. I have fever since yesterday evening"

"Yaz...I don't know what to say to that. You know I'm proud of you but this is is hard job darling. I just wish you choose something different...you know...I'm either worried you're gonna get hurt or ill"

"I know mum Clara's been saying the same thing. And I must admit now after...Well I want to spend more time with her as well"

"Just think about it honey. Where's Clara?"

"Working"

"I can come over later. Bring you some food. I can finally see where you live as well"

"That would be nice"

"Mum..."

"Yes baby?"

"I really  love you"

"I love you too baby, go and rest now...see you later. I'll come around three"

 

...

 

Clara walked slowly hands in her pockets. It was cold outside and a thin layer of snow on the ground.

"Could it be that something is seeping through?" Kate asked

"Maybe...possibly...no idea it could be just the fever. But it scares me Kate. I want to tell her but not like this. This is not what I want, not in this way"

"You will have to say something Doctor...anything. You can't keep this hidden forever" 

"I know...I knew from the start but there's a part of me that doesn't wants to Kate. I'm happy like this...I just want to forget"

"I know...Just take it slow. She loves you,  nothing will change that"

"And what if it does...what if what I've done changes everything"

"What you've done is out of love Doctor. It's more than any of us have ever done. Believe me she will understand that...just take it one step at the time. You have a lot to be happy about"

"I bought the house" she smiled

Kate smiles back at her "And a garden shed?"

"It's tempting but not this time"

"Talk to her...at least tell her who you are she needs to know and that can't do any harm...don't let that come from someone else because it will and you know it will. It should come from you"

"You're probably right"

 

....

 

 

Yaz spent most of the day on a sofa watching Netflix. Iff she was absolutely honest with herself she was board to death. Being home and not working when Clara was around was one thing but being home all by herself and ill was totally different. She thought about what Clara said regarding her career choice. She loved her job most of the times but she felt for at least a year now like she was getting stuck and not moving any further forward and yet she had no idea how to change it. Not like she had a massive choice as a police officer. She also wanted a job that would be challenging, interesting, something that would give her a buzz. But she thought how perhaps she watched too many detective shows when she was younger and had a wrong perception about the job now when she got one. She didn't really see her herself standing in the pouring rain for hours or sorting out drunken idiots at concerts or being yelled at and getting insulted by people. But more she thought about it more she came to conclusion that Clara was right. She could also see it in her eyes that she was generally concerned about her.
A doorbell jolted her out of her thoughts.

"Mum" she smiled as she opened the door

"Hi honey" she kissed her cheek and walked in

"Oh, no mum don't take your shoes off...really...it's fine"

"But your floor?"

"It's just a floor mum"

"Beautiful house" she looked around

"I can't take you upstairs but I can show you downstairs" she walked her mum around the ground floor proudly showing everything

"It's beautiful Yaz...loads of books" she said looking at the living room

"Yeah that's Clara...she's got more...they are spreading all over the house" she giggled "Mmmmm...that smelled nice" Yaz shoved her face into the bag her mum brought

"Nannies recipe...your dad made it for you two"

"Wanna tea?"

"Yes I do but I can make it myself" she puts her hand on her forehead "You're burning up Yaz...go and sit down I'm perfectly capable making a tea"

"Alright mum...everything is by the kettle you'll see. And just leave the food on the counter Clara will sort it out later"

"It's strange for me you know..." she yelled  from the kitchen "...to come like this to my daughter some place else. We miss you around the house you know. It's empty without you"

"I know mum...I'm happy but I do miss you too"

"There you go sweetheart" Nadjia put the tea cup on the table

"Mum..."

"Yes baby?" Nadjia asked sipping a tea

"There's something I need to tell you...I was going to come over but now...Well..."

"What? Is everything alright ?"

"Yes mum...more than alright" she holds out her hand with a ring

"Yasmin" she takes her hand looking at the ring then looks up to her "Is that?"

"Yap" she giggles "Don't be mad...please...I know what you're gonna say mum and I know it's soon but"

"But you love her" she finished her sentence raising her eyebrow

"I do"

"Yaz I've always been honest with you"

"I know mum" Yaz could feel anxiety rising up inside her

"It is a bit soon...I'm not going to lie...And I do wish you got to know each other better before. But then I can't tell you or her how you feel. And if you two feel this is what you two want then...so do I"

Yaz through herself into her arms so fast Nadjia almost spilled her tea

"I love you mum"

"I love you too"

The car pulled up in front of the house and Yaz's face lid up "Clara!!!" she jumped

"Oh, hello Nadjia...what a nice surprise" she smiled surprised and hugged her as soon as she got up

"Hi honey" Nadjia said smiling

Then she walked up to Yaz worried kissing her forehead "Hi beautiful...You're burning up"

"I am...sorry" she pouted her lips

"I'll sort that out in a minute" she smiled

"I'm so chuffed you came over Nadjia...did you see the house?"

"I did part of it...and it's beautiful Clara"

"Let me show you the rest" she cheerfully took her upstairs and Yaz could hear her explaining everything about the paperwork and the conservatory.

All of these normal life situations were still so unusual for Yaz. But she was happy she got it off her chest telling her mother about the engagement. It was something that was bothering her more than anything in this world. Her family was extremely supportive in absolutely everything but going as far as actually getting married wasn't really something Yaz ever though about. She wished it, dreamed about it. But never thought in million years would actually be doing it. And she had no idea how open her family would be to it either. Her heart was as big as this house and she never felt more happier in her entire life.

"Alright girls I will not hold you for much longer and Clara you must be tiered from work as well"

"Thanks for stopping by mum" Yaz said from living room

"Oh...Yaz told me about engagement" Nadjia turned to Clara "I am happy for you two...A bit fast in my opinion. But as long as it makes you two happy"

"Time runs out Nadjia...we never know how much we have. It's silly to waist it" Clara said smiling

"Well, I suppose you are right in that Clara...we never know do we. Alright girls...see ya"

"Bye mum...Love ya" Yaz waived from the sofa

"How's my favorite person in a world?" Clara said softly coming back to the living room

"Cuddle" Yaz spread her arms making a puppy face

"Aaaawww...Oh boy someone's mushy today"

Clara gave her a massive bear hug then wrapped her fingers around her face "You're burning up darling" she said kissing her

"Don't kiss me...what if you get ill"

"I won't Yaz...I never do"

"I missed you so much"

"I missed you too...and I was worried about you" she said gently stroking her face "Food?"

"Mmmm...My head really hurts" Yaz rubbed her face into her neck totally melting and Clara couldn't help a wicked though how Yaz was so adorably cute when she was ill.  She also completely enjoyed in taking care of her as well. It was one of the ways she could really show her how much she loved her by being there for her when she really needed her.

"Dad sent some yummy food" she looked up smiling and her beautiful big brown eyes glisen from temperature

"Alright darling I'll heat it up and get changed, you get your cute bum back on a sofa and choose a movie"

 

.,,,

 

A week has gone since they've came back from the trip. Yaz was still home as her sick leave hit the New Year holidays and Clara wasn't keen on her going back to work specially not for New Years eve with loads of drunks around. Their holidays passed quietly as Yas was feeling pretty bad for days anyway with her fever coming and going and she hasn't had much sleep. She spent most of the day on a sofa curled up in a blanket watching Netflix whilst Clara took over everything. She would go to work during a day and then come home in the evening making dinner for both of them including helping Yaz essentially over everything including those things Yaz was perfectly capable of doing herself. But Yaz could see she was genuinely enjoying in taking care of her and spoiling her so she wasn't complaining and just letting her do it secretly enjoying in it herself.
She would also bring her some treats from the store each day and let her choose a movie every evening.

By the New Year's eve Clara finalized the purchase of the house and now they actually had a home. A concept that was still very strange for Yaz. Within month and a half she got a girlfriend who is now her fiancé and a new home. For most part she felt like her head was spinning but as far as she was concerned it was spinning in a right direction so she didn't care or ask about it too much.

"Yaz darling...come here for a minute" Clara called from the study

"Yes babe?"

"Come here" she reached for her hand pulling her into her lap "Help me choose" she opened the catalogue with conservatories

"OMG there's so many"

"I know I'm having a head wonk...different windows...different roofs...different doors. By this rate I won't choose one till next Christmas and that would be weird"

"I like the ornate roof"

"Mee too...and slanted for the rain...I want something more old fashion. Look how beautiful this one is"

"Yeah it would go nice with the house...What about the shed darling?"

"What about the shed Yaz"

"Well, you will have to move it when conservatory comes"

"We will move it then" she smiled and kissed her cheek

"Clara...what's the story with that shed?"

Clara clenched her jaw "What do you mean darling?"

"Honey...I am police officer you know...and you know I love you so I don't really ask many questions. But that's not because I'm stupid it's because I'm actually waiting for you to tell me yourself...You know...to trust me enough Clara"

"I do trust you Yaz...I trust you completely...but what does my shed have to do with it? You're losing me"

"No darling I'm not...look at me love" she turned her face "Look you never use that thing...ever"

"I lost a key Yaz"

"We can call the locksmith...and yet you acutely have a fuckin name for it, you're also referring to it in a female gender"

"Lots of people name inanimate objects"

"Clara...that thing is never covered by frost or snow. I actually don't have a logical explanation for it."

"I do...there's  a tree over it Yaz"

"Babe...You don't have to tell me now...and I'm not gonna push it either. Because I don't think you're like hiding dead people in it. And I absolutely  love you to bits. But I'm going to be your wife Clara...and I would really like to know"

She could see Clara is getting nervous and just stearing at the catalogue so she didn't want to push it anymore and dropped it for now

"I love you silly...we can move the shed ok" she cupped her face and kissed her deeply "Come on let's choose the conservatory...I like this one"

"I love you Yaz" Clara gazed at her eyes beaming with so much love "I love you very much and I do trust you completely"

"And I you always. That will never change darling regardless of what you're hiding in that beautiful head of yours...I want you to know that" she stroke her face kissing her then looked down to the catalogue smiling  "I like that one too. I think we should get it"

"Alright...let's see the choice of windows...all hounded of them" she laughed