Heavy rain fell on Sheffield on this early January morning, making driving difficult. As she stopped at the traffic lights, Alex looked at the old woman standing at the bus stop. A skirt just below the knee wrapped in a brown winter coat, gray hair blown by the cold wind and a hand holding an umbrella. She felt sorry for the old woman as another gush of rain swept over the windshield of her car.

"Morning...you look terrible" one of the nurses laughed seeing her entertaining the building wet as a mouse. Her hair curled up from the rain sticking to her face.

"Nothing like a nice compliment early in the morning" she laughed

"Clark wants to speak to you. She's been looking for you"

"Thanks"

She went straight to the changing room, dried her hair with a towel and got changed then went looking for her colleague.

"Hi...Sally said you wanted to speak to me" she came up to the woman at the front desk

"Aaa, yes...give me a sec..." she signed some paperwork and passed it to the nurse then turned around "I was gonna ask you....I'm going to Edinburgh for a lecture conference next weekend. Thought if you wanna join me? I hate those things, it be nice to have some company"

"Oh, amm..."

"Pleaseeee say yes...It'll be fun..."

"I'd love to but I'm not sure if I'm working next weekend..."

"Brilliant...Don't worry about it I'll clear your day...I'll speak to Connor...That's settled then." She tapped her arm excitedly. Alex's face spasmed as she fidgeted nervously

"Doctor Clark" someone called

"Gotta go, I'll text you all the details..." she smiled and rushed off leaving Alex standing in the middle of the hallway.

"Shit" She rolled her eyes with a sigh

....

That afternoon Yaz had an appointment to remove her stitches. She was nervous about it as the thought of someone probing around there made her feel quite uneasy. Trying not to think about what the nurse was doing as she lied on the table and focused on counting squares on the ceiling.

"It won't be long" the nurse smiled

"Sorry, just makes me queasy"

"That's ok...Most people don't like it. Try to relax, we're almost done."

Relieved she was finally finished she went up to the second floor looking for Alex.

"Excuse me" she stopped one of the nurses in the hallway "I'm looking for Alex Sigma. I'm her wife"

"Aaa, you're Yaz?"

"Yes" she smiled 

"Just a second, I just saw her a minute ago. I'll go and get her. Why don't you make yourself comfortable." She pointed at the chairs in the corner of the waiting room

"Thanks"

"Would you like me to get you something...tea, coffee?"

"I'm fine thanks."

Yaz sat down and texted her mum whiles waiting. It took a while and she started  wondering if Alex had some emergency and their lunch arrangement won't be happening today.

"Hiya" a voice rang above her and she looked up

"Hey you...thought you're not coming"

"Sorry, I couldn't get out earlier"

"That's alright...I was just texting mum"

"Come" she nodded towards the hallway and Yaz followed "How did it go?"

"Uncomfortable" she laughed "I'm just glad they're finally out"

Alex led them to her office and as soon as she shut the door behind them and turned Yaz jumped her with surprise kiss.

"Mmmm" Alex wiggled mumbling into her lips
"I'm at work silly" she giggled squirming

"Sooo...I didn't snog you in a hallway, did I"

"Thank god or I'd die" she laughed "Let me see"

She lifted the jumper as Alex bend down to have a look at her belly "I'm as good as new"

"Aaaaa...brilliant...looks good"

"Yeah...I was a bit queasy about it. But it turned out alright in the end"

"Told ya...let me just get my coat"

"How did you manage to drive in the morning?"

"Arrrrh...it was a nightmare, got soaked walking from the car, I forgot my umbrella"

"It woke me up at seven I thought the wind is gonna smash the window"

"Oh it was absolutely horrible. Saw this old biddy at bus stop. Poor love...just wanted to pull over and give her a lift"

....

As usual, they went across the road to the same old place they had been visiting since the day they met. And it always reminded Yaz of the early days when she stared in awe across the table at the woman she quickly fell in love with, studying her every move and trying not to make it so obvious. It seemed strange to look back on those moments now that she knew every inch of her.

"Here we go" Alex placed the tray on the table
"They didn't have apple, I got you orange"

"That's ok..." she said pealing the straw "I'm starving. I was so nervous I didn't have any breakfast"

"OMG babe...." she shook her head "I'm surprised you're not shaking.

"Just about" she laughed unwrapping her sandwich "Mmmm...look what I found" she tapped on her phone and slid it across the table "It's like some sort of a flee market event for charity. It's next weekend, I thought we'd go."

"Oh shit" Alex leaned into her chair

"Whaa?"

"I can't"

"Why not? It's the whole weekend, we could go on Sunday if you're..."

"I'm going on a trip"

"You're what?" She frowned confused

"Sorry...I was gonna tell you when we get home."

"What kinda of a trip?"

"Educational conference in Edinburgh"

"What! Why?"

"I can't...it's just not the place..." she looked around then leaned over the table signaling  for her to lean over "I'm sorry i couldn't get out of it..." she whispered "My colleague Sandy practically twisted my hand..."

"Shit..." Yaz huffed "How long for?"

"The whole weekend" she huffed

"Bollocks"

"I'm so sorry" she looked at her softly

"It's alright" she sighed disappointed "...it's your job"

"It's not alright...I don't wanna go" She whined

"You may like it"

"I won't"

"But you might do"

"I doubt that"

....

Alex packed with as much enthusiasm as if she was going to jail. She took shirts off the hangers throwing them on the bed. Finding out she was also sharing a room with her colleague made her feel extra uncomfortable on top of it, but she had no way of getting out of it. There was a part of her that was inches away from calling in sick. But there was a fine line she was forced to walk on, and even she knew that pissing off her senior wasn't a smart move to make.

She left the suitcase by the door and dragged her feet into the kitchen. Yaz was putting food on plates, and she draped herself on her back, burying her face in her hair, inhaling a cent of her shampoo.

"Love ya" Yaz palmed her hands on her stomach

"Love you too sweet pea" she exhaled and reached for the salad over her shoulder

"It's gonna fly by, you'll see"

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

"Both" she pouted her lips and took the plates from the kitchen top

"Are you still going on that fair?"

"I thought I might as well, or I'll go bonkers here by myself. Managed to convince mum and Sonya..."

"That's nice...I'm glad you're going. What about Sunday?"

"Nothing...I'll stay in. Clean the house...it'll keep me busy till you get home"

"We can do something nice the weekend after. Make up for it" she forced a smile

"I'd like that...We can go to Edinburgh" she burst out laughing

"You're sacked as trip advisor" she giggled "Seriously...have a look...see what you wanna do. I have a free Saturday"

"Alright then..."

"Shit...I almost forgot...My uncle may call you about those roller things for the cats. I told him I'm away so he's gonna call you. If the weather is ok, he may come on Sunday"

"Well it's good I'm staying in then" she laughed

"Sorry...I'm stressed...forgot to tell you"

"I'm sure you're gonna have a nice time in the end. Usually it is like that."

"I do hope so. I don't wanna be miserable the whole weekend. I do enjoy lectures though"

"Why do you have to go on these seminars?"

"To be up to speed with new stuff...To build on your education...It also looks really good on the portfolio and it's excellent for the appraisal" she laughed

"What's it about?"

"New stuff, new technology. Some breakthrough procedures.... different studies and so on."

"Do you always go on these?"

"Not always, sometimes. I do like it...it's just that I usually go alone...surprise, surprise" she laughed "If it were just that I'd be really looking forward to it...It's the rest of it I'm dreading. Also, I don't like to get too personal with my superiors...It's never a good idea"

"Why not?"

"Cause if you step on their toe then you're screwed. So, I like to keep a distance between private and professional. I learned that a long time ago"

"Is that why you never went across the road to have lunch?"

"Nooo...that's still just me being socially awkward" she laughed

....

Alex closed the dishwasher and sat on the counter waiting for Yaz to wash the table. It was late and she needed to go to bed if she wanted to get enough sleep. They were leaving early and had a long day ahead of them, but she dragged out the evening as long as she could, even though she struggled keeping her eyes open by this point.

"Done," Yaz said as she finished leaving fresh water for the cats. She approached Alex and ran her hands over her legs, burying her face in her chest. Alex's fingers tangled in her hair she planted a long kiss on the top of her head.

"I'll miss you...so fucking much." Yaz rubbed her face onto her chest and looked up restraining herself from crying

Her wife's fingers trailed gently down her face and she melted into her touch closing her eyes "I'll miss you too sweet pea" she kissed her forehead

"I'm over dramatic" Yaz smiled a little hooking her fingers into her belt loops

"And I wouldn't change it for the world" she brushed her thumbs over her cheeks before pulling her in and kissing her so deeply Yaz whimpered into her lips.

....

Alex woke up early. It took her about an hour to get ready, so she got up already at six in the morning. She tossed and turned most of the night and didn't feel rested at all. It was still dark outside, and it was depressing. She grabbed her clothes and dragged her feet into the bathroom, now more nervous about the trip than ever. It's only two days, she kept telling herself, but somehow that didn't make her feel any better. The light in the bathroom made her squint and she looked at her messy hair and pale cheeks in the mirror.

"Jesus," she grunted, tucking her hair behind her ears, then turned away and sat down on the toilet.

After getting ready, there was still some time left for a quick breakfast, so she hurried to the kitchen. She sat by the window enjoying toast and a cup of hot tea. The rain had stopped and it looked like it would be a nice day for a trip. She dreaded the next two days, mostly because of the chronic lack of privacy and worried it would affect her dysphoria having to share space with someone she barely knew. But she pushed it away.

Her phone rang just as she put the mug in the dishwasher. 

"Hiya...ready?"

"Yap, coming" she shoved the last bite of toast into her mouth, grabbed her jacket and the suitcase and left the house. The other woman already waited by the open booth

"Morning" Alex smiled

"Morning...you look nice this early" said the woman with not one ounce of makeup on and still looking very tired

"I didn't half hour ago" she laughed putting the suitcase at the back "I wish I looked as good without makeup"

"I bet you do as well. You'd be surprised what 20 years more does to you" she laughed "It's brutal"

Alex laughed and sat in the car.

"Beautiful street" she said sitting at the wheel

"Thanks...We were so lucky with this house"

"Looks nice"

"It does...We still have some work to do. But there's time"

"I've been in mine for ten years and there's always something to do"

....

 

They were about an hour into the trip and Alex started to relax as the conversation was flowing quite easily. 

 

"I'm gonna burst...Wanna stop for a coffee" Sandy said 

 

"Definitely" 

 

They stopped at the petrol station, Sandy rushed to the toilet and Alex went to get the coffee. They had some brownies, so she grabbed them as well then sat by the window and texted Yaz. 

 

.... 

 

Waking up to an empty bed wasn't new for Yaz. It's knowing it will stay empty for the next two days that weighed heavily on her heart. But she woke up to a message from Alex and it put a smile on her face. 

 

"Morning sweet pea. I looked like shit this morning, had no sleep. God knows how I will last today but for now things are fine. Almost there now...I'll call as soon as I can. Miss you soo much. Love ya xx" 

 

She replied quickly then had to get up and get ready to meet her mum and sister. There was a cute note stuck on the kettle that made her laugh. It was a silly drawing of them two holding hands and a bunch of hearts. 

 

"Silly billy" she smiled and stuck the note to the fridge 

 

.... 

 

They arrived in Edinburgh and checked into a hotel. Their room was on the second floor and faced the road. There were two single beds, a small desk and a bathroom…

 

"Which bed do you want? ...I'm not fussed." Sandy asked 

 

"Aaarr...window one if I have a choice" 

 

"Fine with me" 

 

"When's the lecture?" She asked opening her suitcase 

 

"In two hours" 

 

"We could grab lunch...maybe" 

 

"Yeah, why not...I just need to get changed and make myself look half decent" the other woman said as she started taking her clothes off right in front of Alex. Suddenly she had no idea where to look so she fumbled, looking down, taking her clothes out. 

 

"Right...I won't be long" she disappeared in the bathroom to Alex's relief, so she took the opportunity to quickly get changed, strategically leaving the wardrobe door open to hide behind it. 

 

"Aaaarh Sandy" she knocked on the bathroom door 

 

"Yeah?" 

 

"I'll wait downstairs" 

 

"Alright hun...I won't be long I promise" 

 

"That's alright, take your time." She grabbed her bag and rushed out of the room. 

 

The foyer of the hotel was nice and cozy with a bunch of comfy sofas and a big bar. She ordered herself a drink and called Yaz. 

 

"Hey baby" 

 

"Hi. I thought I give you quick call" 

 

"Did you arrive?" 

 

"Yap...half an hour ago. The lecture is two hours so we're gonna grab some lunch. Are you at the fair?" 

 

"Not yet just getting dressed, they're picking me up in few minutes" 

 

"I won't hold you up then" 

 

"Don't be silly. I can multitask. So, how's it going?" 

 

"Not bad for now. It's sharing the room...I'm not so comfortable with that. Had to change behind the wardrobe door" she laughed "It's pathetic" 

 

"Well, at least you’re inventive. It'll be fine baby...Don't worry" 

 

"You know how I get" 

 

"Shy and flapping around confused" she giggled 

 

"Exactly...It's a nice hotel though...Right in the center. Weather's shit though...raining since we got here." 

 

"Oh nooo...not here, thank god" 

 

"I'm jealous...I'm fucking starving...I need to eat something, or I'll pass out." 

 

"We're grabbing some food as well as soon we get there...Which isn't gonna be for a while. It’s an hour drive. Seems weird without you" 

 

"Seems weird being here and you over there..." 

 

"Oh...I'm gonna have to go baby...they're here..." 

 

"No worries...have a nice time. Miss ya" 

 

"Miss you so fucking much...Call me later" 

 

"Absolutely, I'll call you as soon as I can" 

 

"Love you" 

 

"Love you too" she pouted and hang up 

 

.... 

 

Alex and Sandy sat for a meal close to the lecture hall. It was raining so much that Alex's trousers were all wet at the bottom, making her legs cold and she was so hungry by the time they got to the restaurant she started to shake. 

 

"Here take this" Sandy slid a chocolate bar across the table 

 

"OMG thanks for that" 

 

"Why didn't you say something...we could've made another stop" 

 

"I didn't wanna fuss" 

 

"And if I said no for lunch?" 

 

"Dunno" she laughed 

 

"Honest ...please say something next time" 

 

"I need a lot of food. My mum always says it's cheaper to dress me than to feed me" 

 

"My daughter is like that...hence chocolate in the bag" 

 

"You have a daughter?" 

 

"Two actually one 15 one turning 17 next month...Do you have any kids?" 

 

"Not yet...soon hopefully...Can't wait" she smiled 

 

"You won't be saying that in ten years time" 

 

"Oh, I will...I love kids" 

 

"Me too...when they leave me alone" she laughed "Teenagers are like someone transported you to hell" 

 

"Then my mum went to hell and back five times" 

 

"Fiiive?" Her eyes widened 

 

"Yeees" Alex burst out laughing "There's five of us, I got three brothers and one sister" 

 

"Bloody hell, she deserves a medal" 

 

"She really does" 

 

"Aaa pizzas" 

 

"Thank god" Alex sighed 

 

"That looks fantastic, thank you" 

 

"Arrrrh. Excuse me" Alex stopped the waiter "I said no mushrooms...I'm so sorry...I'm not fussy, just can't have them I'm allergic" 

 

"Oh...I'm so sorry. It must have been a mix-up in the kitchen. We can make you another one?" 

 

"We're not gonna have time for that...Here take mine.... It’s just cheese..." 

 

"Nooo...I can't do that" 

 

"And what are you gonna do? Starve, have anaphylactic shock? Don't be silly...It's alright...She'll have mine...sorted, don't worry about it." 

 

"Thank you" the waiter said "I'm really sorry, I'll speak to the manager to give you a discount" 

 

"That's fine, don't have a hernia about it...It happens" 

 

"Thank yoooou. God...this is so embarrassing...Now I'm eating your food" 

 

"Honest Alex, it's no drama...You need to eat" 

 

"I really appreciate it" 

 

"As it goes yours looks better than mine anyway" she laughed 

 

"I hope you like it... it's with nice smoked ham" 

 

.... 

 

Yaz had a nice afternoon at the fair which helped distract her. They spent hours going from one stall to another filled with handmade items, antiques, food and trinkets. When she saw the handmade pottery, it reminded her of Charlie, and she decided to buy her a small gift for the next time she visited. Her mother found some lovely handmade woolen scarf and her sister and she picked out a really cute, knitted jumper for Prem. She also bought him adorable bottoms decorated with patterns of dogs and cats that some young designer was selling. 

 

"Hey Yaz, this would go in your house," Nadjia held up the beautiful piece of art. 

 

"Oh, I love that…" it was autumn leaves made of what looked like plaster on a canvas background, and the colors matched their house brilliantly. But she was torn and wished Alex was here with her making the decision 

 

"Get it...it's not a lot" Sonya insisted 

 

"I dunno...we should be careful with money, and I don't wanna make a decision alone" 

 

"Oh, she's gonna love it..." Nadjia said "Do you like it?" 

 

"I dooo...I love it" 

 

"Good...sold..." she passed the money to the vendor 

 

"Muuum nooo" 

 

"Don't be silly...You love it and I know Alex will. It's my present" 

 

"Thank yoooou" she hugged her tight. 

 

"I was planning to get you something to cheer you up" 

 

"That's really sweet mum" 

 

"We gonna have to sit somewhere...I need to feed him" Sonya said taking screaming Prem out of the push chair 

 

"Goodness...you got a pair of lungs on you" Yaz laughed 

 

"I'm surprised he's been this patient at all" 

.... 

 

In the meantime, Alex was at the lecture. She found it extremely interesting, but her colleague didn't seem to be sharing her enthusiasm for it. 

 

"Hey..." she leaned into her ear "I had a thought" 

 

"Mmm?" Alex mumbled 

 

"We could go for a drink later. There's nice pub not far from a hotel" 

 

Alex wrote some notes then looked her way "Sorry...what was that?" 

 

"Pub... wanna go for a drink later?" 

 

"Yeah...suppose so" 

 

"Good" she nudged her shoulder "You're really into this aren't you?" 

 

"Yeah" she smiled 

 

"I missed half of it" she laughed "...What was he saying?" 

 

Alex chuckled and looked at her notes "Findings indicates that women with a prior C-section had a 10% decreased chance of conceiving their next pregnancy during a given menstrual cycle compared with those who had prior vaginal deliveries." 

 

"Right" 

 

"Told you...interesting" 

 

Sandy was clearly bored. She continued to talk to her, interrupting her every now and then, much to Alex's annoyance, but after her kind gesture of giving her a pizza, it was hard for her to get upset at her. 

 

.... 

 

Yaz's phone rang, and she quickly dug through the bag 

 

"Heeeey baby" she melted on the phone 

 

Sonya laughed rolling her eyes" They're like a love novel" 

 

"I knoooow...it's only two days" Nadjia chuckled "It's sweet" 

 

"I wish someone was pining over me like that" she said with disappointment in her voice 

 

"One day someone will" her mum draped her arm over her shoulder and kissed her temple 

 

"Oh yeah, they can't wait for unemployed single mum" 

 

"You won't be unemployed forever sweetheart. And loads of women have kids. Look at Alex, she waited a long time and now she's happy." 

 

"I suppose so" 

 

"What was that?" Yaz hung up the phone catching up with the conversation 

 

"I was just saying how lucky you are to have Alex I wish I had someone like that" 

 

"You wiiiil...It's not easy. Come ooon, I went from one shitty relationship to another. You all gave up on me at some point" 

 

"You and I really had a talent for picking" She laughed "So what's your girl saying?" 

 

"Not much, they're having a little break at the lecture. I think she's having a nice time. But you know how anxious she gets. And she’s sharing the room as well" 

 

"But with a woman, right?" Nadja asked 

 

"It's a woman alright...But she gets nervous when it comes to these things. She's a very shy mum and very private." 

 

"It's crazy, cause she's actually so outgoing when she's relaxed" Sonya said 

 

"Yeah, she is, just takes a lot for her to get to that." Yaz said "I really hope she's having a nice time. The woman seems really nice." 

 

....

 

Back at the hotel, Alex felt even more anxious. Her brain is working overtime, strategically planning every detail of how and where she will change her clothes, remove her makeup and get ready for the evening. She was going to take all her things into the bathroom and get ready there, but Sandy kept the bathroom door open, constantly whizzing in and out half dressed in her bra and knickers. Alex admired her ease, but it was the kind of ease she herself could only dream of. She was sitting on a chair checking emails while waiting for her turn to use the bathroom. 

 

"Aren't you gonna get ready?" Sandy asked confused 

 

"Mmmm...just waiting for you to finish." 

 

"You can go into the shower I'm done" 

 

"That's alright...I don't mind waiting" 

 

"Sorry...I took monopoly over the bathroom...I won't be long" 

 

Alex smiled in response, but inside she was in agony because she also desperately needed to pee by this point. It was finally her turn after almost 45 minutes of waiting, she grabbed her things and rushed inside. 

 

.... 

 

After a day out with her family, Yaz was finally home. The cats gathered around her as soon as she stepped through the door, eagerly waiting to be fed. Tired but happy, she fed them, took a soothing shower and changed into her pajamas, settling comfortably in front of the TV with her microwave dinner. Her phone beeped it was a text from Alex. A silly selfie from the bathroom when she was done getting ready. 

 

"Sexyyyy...I'd definitely pull you" Yaz texted 

 

"You already have" Alex replied and sent a bunch oh hearts 

 

"Have a nice time, let me know when you're back so I know you're safe" 

 

"Will do sweet pea. Love ya" 

 

'Love you too gorgeous" 

 

She missed Alex like oxygen. Yet she knew full well that she had to deal with it, or saying goodbye for a month when Alex goes to Zambia will tear her into pieces. It was a part of her job that she knew she would have to face sooner or later. She also wanted to encourage Alex to come out of her shell and be that silly, bubbly person she knew privately. Halfway through the movie she fell asleep on the sofa when her phone woke her up. 

 

"Hey gorgeous" 

 

"Hiii" she yawned 

 

"Oh, did I just wake you up? I'm sorry" 

 

"Neah, it's alright, I feel asleep watching Doctor Who." She giggled "Are you out, I can hear the music?" 

 

"Yeah, we're in a pub. It's someone's birthday so it's a bit lively...I'm standing by the toilets so I can hear you." she laughed 

 

"Sooo...are you are having a nice time?" 

 

"I am actually. I'm on my third drink" she laughed 

 

"Having fun and getting pissed...Go girl" 

 

"You know I'm a lightweight...I have to stop, or I'll be waisted tomorrow for the lecture" 

 

"When's your lecture?" 

 

"Nine in the morning...Then we have a break for half an hour and should be done by noon. We grab some lunch and head back" 

 

"I can't wait for you to come back" 

 

"Me too...I have to go...I left Sandy alone" 

 

"That's alright baby. I'm glad you're having fun. Love ya" 

 

"Love you too" 

 

She hung up the phone and hugged the cushion. Then one of her cats jumped up and she grabbed it forcing a cuddle. 

 

.... 

 

Alex waited at the bar to be served and it took forever. The pub was packed to the brim, people crowded together, and some even danced in the corner where the birthday party was taking place. She tried several times to get the bartender's attention, but to no avail, so she just signed and continued to wait. 

 

"I think it'll be a while" the man next to her said 

 

"Excuse me?" Alex frowned as the man spoke in her bad ear, she couldn't make out what he was saying 

 

"I said it's gonna be a while..." he spoke louder pointing at the crowd waiting to be served 

 

"Yeah, it's crazy. My mate is gonna grow roots" she laughed 

 

"Yorkshire?" 

 

"Yes" she smiled "You're...South London?" 

 

"Spot on.... Warlingham. So, what brings you to Edinburgh, sightseeing, hen night?" 

 

"Noo, business I'm afraid...educational seminar. You?" 

 

"Same....Meeting with a client.... Oh, Craig" he extended his hand 

"Alex" she shook his hand 

 

"Have you ever been to Edinburgh?" 

 

"Once...It's beautiful" 

 

"It's stunning.... I’ve been a few times. Shame it's pissing down the whole day" 

 

"Oh, it's horrid" 

 

"So, Alex, what sort of educational seminar?" 

 

"Medical" 

 

"That’s interesting.... So, you're doctor, nurse?" 

 

"Doctor" 

 

"Waaaw...Smart and beautiful..." 

 

"Sorry..." she turned towards the bartender who finally saw her "Vodka blueberry and orange juice please" 

 

"Can I buy you drink?" 

 

"No... I mean...Thanks, but I'm ok" she fumbled 

 

"Maybe next time. Tomorrow? There's nice vine bar around the corner" 

 

When it finally dawned on her what was happening, she started panicking, trying not to make a complete idiot out of herself, but before she could form a coherent sentence the bartender brought her drinks, and she turned her attention to paying. 

 

"Maybe after your lecture, if you're free? I’d like to get you know you better" He asked again "I'm trying to work fast before you disappear in a crowd" 

 

Alex took her change and smiled nervously "I’m sorry...but I can't..." 

 

"If I'm to pushy..." 

 

"I'm actually married," she frowned and raised her hand to show the ring 

 

"Riiiiiight...I missed that… Look I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable..." 

 

"No, it's alright...I should really go" 

 

"Here, let me at least help you with this" 

 

"It's ok, I can…" he grabbed her drinks waiting to follow her to the table "Oh, aaamm… thanks" she frowned in confusion and pushed her way through the crowd as the man followed her... 

 

He put the drinks on the table as Sandy watched confused 

 

"Well, it was nice meeting you Alex" he held his hand out 

 

"Nice meeting you too" 

 

"Have a nice evening ladies" 

 

"You too..." she smiled and sat at the table 

 

"You know him?" 

 

"Noo" she giggled 

 

"Are you being pulled?" Sandy laughed 

 

"I think he tried" Alex giggled in a combination of shock and embarrassment 

 

"You think?" She laughed "You look like a deer caught in head lights" 

 

"I'm not used to this, that's all..." 

 

"What, men asking you out?" 

 

"Noooo" she laughed "Definitely not men asking me out...Took me a minute to even realize what was going on" she laughed 

 

....

 

Probably the worst part of this trip for Alex was going back to the hotel in the evening and taking off her makeup in front of a complete stranger. That's when she felt most vulnerable and exposed. She fumbled around the bathroom for almost half an hour, hoping Sandy would be asleep when she came out. She had drunk quite a bit and Alex expected her to pass out as soon as they got back. But when she finally came out of the bathroom, Sandy was sitting on the bed with a menu from the local takeout. 

 

"Are you hungry? I gotta eat something or I'll be sick. They're only open for another hour, wanna eat something?" 

 

"I wasn't going to...but now when you mentioned I do feel a bit peckish" Alex said sitting on the bed. 

 

"I'll have burger and chips. Here, have a look" she passed her a menu "I should take my makeup off as well or I'll be like a bloody prune by the morning" 

 

Alex laughed, feeling more relaxed. Sandy was so laid back about everything, she actually made her feel a lot less nervous than she expected to be on this trip. And somehow, being in her pajamas with no makeup on and her hair in a ponytail in front of her boss wasn't so scary anymore. 

 

"You know what...I'll have one as well...Anything to drink?" 

 

"Water, I just want plane water" she got up and went to the bathroom 

 

"Alright, I'll give them a call." 

 

"Thanks for coming with me. I really had a great time for once" 

 

"Me too. I was a bit nervous...won't deny it. But it turned out to be a nice trip in the end" 

 

"Nervous about what? Hanging around with your boss?" She laughed 

 

She lowered her gaze to the menu "Suppose so..." If only she could put it into words just how much more complex it is, but she couldn't, so instead she just chuckled shyly. 

 

.... 

 

The next day Yaz got up unusually early for her. With Alex gone, she had trouble sleeping, tossing and turning most of the night. She spent most of the day cleaning the house and doing laundry, counting the hours until her wife returned. The shops closed at five, so she rushed to get to Tesco’s for last minute shopping, planning a nice dinner for later. Shepherd's pie, one of Alex's favorites. She had never made it from scratch before, so she called Charlie for instructions. 

 

"Hi honey, didn't expect you today." 

 

"Hi...sorry, have you got a minute?" 

 

"I've got few...What's up?" 

 

"Just wondering...can I put beef in a shepherd's pie? Or it has to be lamb?" 

 

"You can put either. I usually go with beef, none of my kids are too hot on lamb. Why...you're making it?" 

 

"Yeah....Alex is coming back today...so I thought I'd surprise her. I got some recipe I googled." 

 

"Oh, no... scrap that...I'll send you mine." 

 

"That be great, yes please if you could...I'm going shopping now" 

 

"I'll email it to you. How are you doing hun, feeling ok? Alex told me your stitches are out" 

 

"Yeah...finally...I'm as good as new. Just a bit nervous now for my next period" 

 

"It's gonna be alright. Hopefully you're not gonna be in so much pain anymore" 

 

"I really hope so. Everything alright your way?" 

 

"A bit hectic at the moment...I'm having some work done on a house." 

 

"Or are you...that's nice" 

 

"It will be when it's done. The drilling and dust are driving me nuts" 

 

"What are you doing?" 

 

"Just that loo downstairs. It was about time I got that sorted. I think last time I had that done was when Annie was twelve" she laughed "Even the tiles came back in fashion" 

 

"That's good...no need to change them then" she laughed "Send me photos when it's all done." 

 

"I will...I won't keep you hun. If you need to go shopping, you should hurry up. It's almost four" 

 

"Oh fuck...So it is" 

 

"I'm sending the recipe now and if you need help give me a call." 

 

"Thaaaank yooou...Love ya" 

 

"Love you too honey" 

 

.... 

 

Almost done with the pie, she carefully made lines across the potato with her fork as Charlie had explained, then popped it into the oven and glanced at the clock. It was close to six o'clock and Alex should be home any minute. So, she quickly grabbed the plates and started setting the table. Not even five minutes later she heard the front door opening. 

 

"Alex" she lifted her head with a massive smile and ran to the hallway 

 

"Hiya!" Alex smiled widely from the door and almost fell over when Yaz threw herself at her "Hey sweet pea" she giggled as the other woman wrapped herself around her like a koala and showered her lips with kisses. 

 

"Something smells nice..." Alex scrunched her nose wrapping ger arms around her and rocking her side to side 

 

"Surprise" she grinned "Come" she grabbed her hand dragging her to the kitchen 

 

"Ta-Da" she said proudly opening the oven door 

 

"Is that Shepherds pie?" 

 

"Yap" 

 

"Nooo...Did you make that Yazee? ....Like from scratch?" 

 

"By your mums recipe" 

 

"I'm totally impressed...Thaaaaank yoooou" she kissed her temple then jumped "Oh, got you something...Hope it's not squished" she ran into the hallway 

 

"What?" 

 

"You'll see..." she grabbed the bag off the floor and ran back into the kitchen "You're going to love this" 

 

Yaz stuck her face in the bag and jumped exited "Nooo waaay...Dundee Cake?" 

 

"Yap...got it today after the lecture" 

 

"That's so sweet...thank you baby..." she brought her hands to her shoulders kissing her "...I think din din's done" 

 

"Can I just take a quick shower and change?"  

 

"Sure...it still needs about five minutes" 

 

"I'll be quick" she was about to leave but Yaz tugged her hand pulling her back stealing one more quick kiss from her. 

 

"God it's nice to be home" Alex smiled into her lips 

 

"Now you're free to go" Yaz giggled tapping her bum 

 

Alex grabbed her suitcase and rushed upstairs. She quickly texted her mom that she had arrived safely and threw herself on the bed. Even though the trip ended up being more enjoyable than she could have ever hoped for, she was relieved to be back home. 

 

Yaz took the food out of the oven and finished the salad. Her heart was still beating a little bit faster, excited as if she's on her first date. Alex walked into the kitchen, pink toes peaking underneath the hem of the loose pajamas bottoms and hair still curled from the shower. 

 

"Hiya" Yaz glanced at her with a smile "You can put salad on the table" 

 

Alex walked up behind her, gently pressed against her gliding hands over the curve of her waist. 

 

"I missed this" Alex whispered kissing her neck 

 

Yaz closed her eyes with a soft smile leaning into the touch as if her body was made for it as Alex touched her ever so gently, fingers trailing down her arms and over her stomach. She turned just enough to catch her lips in a long kiss, then turned in her arms, tangling her fingers in Alex's hair. 

 

.... 

 

"That was so yummy...thank you" 

 

"I'm glad that it passed the inspection" she laughed scooping the plates 

 

"Noo...leave that..." Alex took her hand "C'mere" she tugged her towards the sofa 

 

"You leaving dirty dishes around?" she laughed "You must've missed me" she giggled as she was being pulled across the living room. 

 

"I have" she smiled silly and dimmed the lights 

 

They settled on the sofa huddled under deemed lights enjoying each other’s proximity in silence, exchanging soft kisses and gentle touches. 

 

"So..." Yaz broke the silence after a kiss and tucked Alexs’s hair behind her ear "we talked enough about me...How was your weekend?" 

 

"Wasn't that bad. She's nice..." 

 

"Oh, is she now?" 

 

"I still don't wanna get too close." She giggled "But she was really nice. It was a bit embarrassing having to share a room. I hated that to be honest..." 

 

"I'm sorry..." she brushed her thumb over her cheek "But you did well...I'm proud of you" 

 

"She's so relaxed Yazee...Stripped off right in front of me I thought I'll die on a spot" 

 

"Whaaaa" Yaz laughed 

 

"Right down to her underwear" Alex laughed "Sometimes I wish I was that confident..." 

 

"Maybe you will be with time..." she kissed the tip of her nose 

 

"I doubt that" she giggled "There's something else" 

 

"What?" 

 

"Promise you won't laugh" 

 

"You know I can't do that" Yaz giggled "Go on...spit it out...What" 

 

"I can't.... this is so embarrassing" she laughed covering her face with her hands 

 

"Oh nooo...you’re not doing that..." Yaz laughed moving her hands "What happened missy?" 

 

"Some bloke tried pulling me when we were in a pub" she burst out laughing 

 

"Excuse meeeee!" 

 

"I knoooow he asked me out" she went bright red and covered her face again 

 

Yaz burst out laughing "Say whaaat?" She moved her hand 

 

"I'm not gonna repeat it" Alex couldn't stop laughing 

 

"Well, your weekend was definitely more amusing than mine”

 

"Stop it!" She kept laughing 

 

"Was he handsome?" 

 

"I don't knoooow...I didn't look" 

 

"You didn't look?" She raised her eyebrow "Was he ugly?" 

 

"Nooo" she laughed so much she couldn't breathe 

 

"So, a good looking bloke was trying to pull my wife...Cheeky fucker" 

 

"I said I was married...once it reached my brain" 

 

"Aaand..." 

 

"He apologized and left... He was actually very polite. But that's not the point...It's just that..." she suddenly fell silent and reached for Yaz's hand playing with their fingers 

 

"What beautiful?" 

 

"I know this probably sounds so stupid...but..." 

 

"Nothing you say sounds stupid. Tell me" 

 

She sighed deeply "It felt nice in some really messed up way...Just like...Him looking at me like that...it made me feel...I dunno...normal...I know...it's stupid" 

 

"No... it’s nooot...not at all.... I adore you.... You know that?" 

 

"Mmmm" she nodded as her lip wobbled "Me too" 

 

"You adore yourself?" 

 

"Nooo" she laughed "I adore you…my little Yazee" she palmed her face "Soo much" she said softly and kissed her deep and passionate rolling her onto herself.

 

….