Clara was already dressed for dinner and whiles waiting for Yaz to finish getting ready went over to the hotel to see her friend.

"Hi Doctor I was gonna call you"

"Hello Tip, how are you? I hope you rested. Any pain? I've got some meds for you"

"I have...thanks for all of this, I really appreciate it...but I will have to go back home today...My legs seem better so I'll be fine"

"Are you sure Tip?...You're more than welcome to stay"

"As flattered as I am to be at your wedding Doctor, I have some stuff that cannot wait...also about that thing you wanted me to look into"

"Oh, yes...I was gonna ask...but it just wasn't the time"

"It's a key Doctor..."

"A whaaa?"

"A key...I don't know where from...but it's definitely a key...a friend of mine has seen those around but he says they are rare...It's extremely sophisticated technology and definitely not from any planet I'm familiar with...totally untraceable and impossible to brake through"

"I know about untraceable...but we'll see what Tardis has to say about unbreakable...Anything can be broken into..."

"Well I hope you're right Doctor...Also...those people...Nobody really knows where they're from. They come, do their dirty business, and just vanish...Nobody knows anything about them. The one thing everyone does know is that once they take you...." Tip takes a dip sigh "You're never gonna come back"

Clara pursed her lips worried then forced herself to shake her thoughts away as she was desperately trying to only concentrate on their wedding "Thank you so much...for all of it...this all helps Tip...You're really good friend ...Are you absolutely sure you don't  wanna  stay? It'll be fun...."

"No Doctor ...I really can't"

"Alright....no worries...I'll have my friend take you home today...I would...but it's not safe for me to use my Tardis at the moment unless I really have to"

"No problem Doctor...I understand...I know your situation"

"He should be here soon anyway...Thanks for helping me and I'm so sorry it got you into trouble Tip"

"Most things I do get me into trouble...People come to me when it's impossible or illegal" they laugh "...and both spell trouble"

"Yeah...sort of like me" she smiled and put her hand on their shoulder "Here ..take this...it's for the pain and I'll give you some stuff for home as well that Tardis prepared...it will help you heal"

"Thank you Doctor"

....

"Yaz darling we need to go you know" Clara said walking into the room.

"Yap...yap...I'll be done in a minute" she peaked from the door of the bathroom "How's your friend?"

"Getting better...Uuuu...you look pretty Yaz" she smiled as Yaz came out of the bathroom

"Can you just..." she turned around for Clara to zip up her dress "It seems strange you know"

"What does Yaz?"

"To have Tardis parked in front of the hotel...and here we are just having a normal day before the wedding...and just few hours ago you were somewhere out there picking up you mate..."

"Arrrh...Let's hope the rest of it goes smoothly ha?" she smiled over her shoulder and kissed her temple "Don't want no more drama thank you very much...it's been enough...I want us to laugh and dance Yaz...and drink some of those cocktails with little umbrellas and pineapples"

"Oh I used to collect those umbrellas"

"Aaaa...me too...I have quite a collection...I gotta show you....Oh...about  Tip...Jack will take them back...I'm not gonna leave you again"

Yaz turned around with a smile and wrapped her fingers at the back of her neck "Did I tell you recently how much I fucking love you?"

"Nope potty mouth...you haven't" she nodded slipping her hand around her waist and pulling her in "I have old brains I forget really fast"

"I thought you're super smart?"

"Arrrhhh...can be....more resourceful really...and lucky...sometimes...most times...at least 50%....70 tops"

Yaz giggled and pulled her in for a kiss

"Don't stop on my account" a voice julted them both

"Jack!" Clara jumped getting flustered "You could've knocked you know" she said frowning but hugged him nevertheless

"Wouldn't be so much fun" he looked at Yaz over her shoulder and winked. Yaz just giggled, she loved how Clara and him always bantered

"Hey you...where have you been?" Yaz hugged him tight "We were worried about you"

"Who me? Neah...can't die...remember...I'm a tough old boot" he chuckled "So...How's everything? Nervous?"

"Yeaaaah" Yaz smiled

"You have no idea" Clara said "Come...sit Jack...We'll get you a room key later....Oh...oh I have to tell you what happened...Well I have to tell you both"

"What the fuck happened now...you were only out for half an hour," Yaz frowned

"Oh...get used to it...she only needs five minutes....half an hour is a record braker" Jack laughed sitting on a sofa

"Oi!....Not like I'm looking for trouble..."

He raised his eyebrow

"Oh Alright...ok...point taken...Buuut not now...that's past...not anymore Jack...Anyway" she said sitting down " Long story short...Told you about Tip...well I went to see them earlier and they told me that black plate is is key"

"A whaaat?" Yaz jumped surprises

"Key to what?" Jack asked

"Dunno...I'll have Tardis try figuring it out...I'm sure she can come up with something now when we at least know what it is...It doesn't happen that often that Tardis can't get to the answers...really rarely...this is really unusual"

"It must be pretty valuable key when they went after your friend" Yaz said

"Valid point Yaz...more so...why would a random shoulder have it?....And why bring it to the Tardis that night?...It's really bugging me..."

"Unless it has something to do with a Tardis?" Yaz said

"What?" Clara and Jack looked at her surprised

"Well It's logical? Right?" she looked at them both looking for conformation that she doesn't sound silly "They came after you...maybe they needed that to break into the Tardis mainframe" Yaz said

"Stars Yaz...."Clara got up worried

"She's got a point you know" Jack said

"She does...a valid one as well"

"I do?" Yaz asked

"Yeah...you very much do Yaz" Clara said

"Iff you hook that up to the Tardis can it download all the information?"

"From Tardis?....No Yaz..I already hooked it up...it would've done it already...Besides Tardis has way too advanced technology for it and all that information would fry any piece of equipment....buuut definitely something that got my brains ticklish...I haven't had that for a while...Anyway, whatever it is, it's gonna have to wait till after the wedding"

Good..."Jack smiled "I was worried you're gonna go and hook that thing up between the wedding vows"

"Not this time Jack"

"Also babe...I don't  want you rushing  this... wedding or not...you still don't know who these people are"

"She usually does and then ask questions later" Jack added

"Whaaa?" Yaz looked at them both as Clara just scrunched her nose at him

"You know I'm right...and you know she's right"

"Oh alright you two...And since when have you two become best buddies? What did I miss? ....Anyway...Come on...let's get you settled Jack before you too get even closer...You're gonna love the room...has a view on the gardens....also I do need a favor"

"Anything Doctor"

"I need you to take Tip back home...I could go with Tardis....but I shouldn't really"

"No you shouldn't...as it is you have them on your tail way too much...Don't worry about it Doctor I got this"

"Thanks Jack...I appreciate it.

"Well, that's settled... " she said happily getting  up "Also...wanna come for dinner?"

"Aaaaa meeting family...absolutely...as soon as I take your friend home"

....

"How is she doing?" Jack asked as soon as they got out

"She alright for now...no relapses...I'm so happy about that...I don't think I can handle those...She is getting some memories back though, but she can't make sense out of them...also...I finally put her through the Tardis scanner and she found traces of regeneration energy, remains still contained within her cells"

"So you got your proof"

"I now have a lot more answers...not all Jack...but I'm getting there...Her body is changing on a cellular level...her modified DNA is slowly forcing a body to change and its reformatting every cell in her body. It's so hard to trace and study because it's hiding itself all the time dormant and it’s just active for short periods of time.... If I could just study, it when it's active Jack that would give me all the answers"

"So is she changing into what you are? Can you tell?"

"No... not sure...looks very, very similar Jack but not quite the same. I have compared it to myself...it is different but as I said...I can't figure out how when it's not active Jack. I've never seen this in my life...I don't know what that is...and I have no idea what the final result will be either...Now that bit worries me, but I'm trying to stay positive...I have to get to their research...I need more information" 

"We will...we are getting there...Here..." he pulls the little storage unit out of his pocket....You might find this interesting reading...It's not a lot but it's something"

"Aaaa briliant...I'll look at it tonight....Thanks Jack" she stops and turns towards him "...for everything"

"Don't be silly old girl...C'mere" he pulls her in for a hug "We're gonna sort it out"

"I'm not finding this easy Jack...I admit it" she said as he squeezed her tightly. Years ago, she wouldn't share her feelings in this way. But things have changed so much and she is finding solace in some strange way by sharing all of it with her old friend.

"Nobody would Doctor" he pulls away slightly and wraps his hand around the side of her neck "...I think you're doing quite well juggling your human life with this...It's a lot to take...even for you" he placed a long kiss on her forehead

She smiled a little then suddenly cheered up with  a big smile on her face "Go on...go see your room" she pulled the key out her pocket dangling it in front of his face exited "Also...you got some clean clothes there...complements of the Tardis"

He kissed her forehead again and smiled haply "See you soon" he said and ran off to the hotel

.....

Clara came back to their apartment and stood by the door of the bedroom for a moment looking at Yaz neatly hanging her shirts in the wardrobe and smiled from the corner of her lips. She still found herself looking at her, not quite believing she was there. For so long she used to hear her laughter echoing through the empty Tardis or her brains playing tricks with her when for a glimpse she would see her from the corner of her eye. She'd walk down the halls of the Tardis and could swear she smelled her shampoo.

"Hey you" Yaz turned over her shoulder with a smile seeing her watching her leaned on the door frame with her hand in her pocket "How long have you been standing there for?"

Clara smiled from the corner of her lips "Not long" she walked up to her and slipped her arms around her pressing her to herself

"Stalker" she giggled raising her hand to the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss

"We should go you know" Clara said tucking her face into her neck

"We should but you're snuggling like a puppy" she giggles

"I am...I wanna snuggle...more than I want dinner...Is that horrible Yaz?" she said whiles nuzzling at her neck humming into her skin

"No...we had a rough week...All I wanna do is stay in that bed with you"

"You speak my language Yaz" Clara said not moving her face from her neck "But we really need to go...And I am getting hungry"

Yaz giggled "Me too...Clara"

"Mmmmm" she hummed into her skin

"I adore you"

Clara lifted her face with a massive grin "I adore you too my little butterfly..." she said kissing her shortly "Come on let's go"

....


The restaurant was absolutely beautiful. They sat by the big open windows. The warm summer air mixed with the smell of lavender filled the room. The food was so nice that Yaz didn't know if it looked or tasted better. Clara was chatting with her grandmother, which Yaz found refreshing after all the complaints her grandmother had about her marrying a woman. Although she was still confused about the wedding ceremony which they decided to keep more than simple and reduced it to just exchanging of the vows.

"Yaz...Where's your car?" Sonya asked confused

Yaz felt a blood rush to her cheeks but thought of a reasonable explanation quite quickly "Oh...We had a problem with some electrical stuff so it's in repair.... We’ll get it back by the time we go home." 

"Aaaaa Jack!" Clara jumped haply when she saw him walking in

"Evening everyone" he smiled

"This is my old friend Captain Jack Harkness...Jack this is Yaz's family...Nadjia,  Hakim, grandma Umbreen and her sister Sonya"

"Very nice to meet you all"

"Sit down Jack..."

"Tip is safe at home" he whispered in her ear as he kissed her cheek

"Thank youuuu" she smiled

"Always Doctor...you look beautiful"

"Charmer" she smiled and sat down

"Clara honey, when is the rest of your family coming?" Nadji asked

"Tomorrow morning" she smiled "I'm so chuffed to see them all"

"I'm so glad you have them all here honey"

"Oh, I really miss them all"

"Aaa American" Hakim said to Jack "So did you fly in today? You must be jet lagged"

"No, no...I live in Cardiff"

"Oh do you now...interesting and you and Clara?"

"Oh...we go waaaay back...years"

"That's nice...And what do you do?"

"Just....government stuff...boring really"

Suddenly beeping could be heard from the driveway in front of the restaurant and everyone turned around towards it

"Hey Doc!!!...Where's the time machine when you need one" Graham shouted through the open window waiving at her

"Whaaaat? Nooo waaay!!! Clara jumped excitedly "Graham?" she jumped off her seat

"Surprise" Yaz giggled

"Yasmin Khan .... did you know about this?" Clara looked at her confused as she was about to ran outside

"Maybe" she giggled "Go on...go" she nodded

Clara ran outside before Yaz could finish the sentence. She ran out to Graham and Ryan who were standing by car smiling

"Doc" Graham opened his arms and she flew into them

"Stars Graham...what a surprise"

"Can't have you alone without the fam now, can we Doc?"

"Noo" she pulled apart with a wobbly chin

"Is that a tear Doc?"

"Neah...just something flew into my eye....Don't know what you're talking about" she giggled

"Ryan...C'mere you...give us a hug" she pulled him in

"Is that make-up Doctor?" he smiled as little bit ran down from her eyes with her happy tears

"Oh, just some mascara Yaz made me put on" she waived her hand dismissing it

Yaz came outside smiling and Ryan was left standing by the car in shock seeing her. He wasn’t sure how to react. All he wanted was to squeeze his friend in his arms "Yaaaaz" he almost whispered

Clara smiled "It's alright Ryan...C'mere" she hooked her arm with him "Yaz..."

"Ryan? Ryan Sinclair?" Yaz said shocked

"Surprise" Clara said

"Whaaaaa ...I don't get it...WTF"

"Hi Yaz...Graham...he's my grandad" he nodded

"Noooooo waaay mate...." she smiled surprised and shocked

"Are you two gonna just stand there staring at each other or hug?" Clara said and pushed Ryan twards her

"Hello mate" he smiled opening his arms and Yaz fell into his embrace. He glanced at Clara over Yaz's shoulder smiling and she smiled back at him

"I can't fucking believe this...." Yaz smiled “How long have you two known each other?" She turned to Clara

"Long..." Clara smiled looking at Ryan "He used to travel with me"

"Get out!!!!" She yelled

Clara nodded winking at him smiling "Come on...let's go inside...You have a whole night to talk about it"

"Hey Yazee...how are you darling?" Graham hugged her

"I'm fine now...like new" she smiled "And my leg is better...We really got her didn't we?"

"Never saw her so shocked in years" he laughed

"How was your trip?"

"It wasn't bad as it goes...Had to stop for toilet about 15 times though...old production date"

Yaz chuckled hooking her arm to his

"Hey everyone...meet my fam...This is Graham and Ryan...meet Yaz's family Nadjia, Hakim, Umbreen and Sonya"

"Come, come sit down...we need more chairs" she hoped around completely exited. She felt her hearts beat faster and became more emotional as they all sat down and started talking. In many ways it felt like old times, although so much had changed that she hoped she could somehow manage to put it all back in its rightful place. Seeing Ryan and Yaz embrace again filled her hearts with joy as she slowly felt that the darkest of times were behind her. She sat there for a moment with a silly smile on her face just looking around the table at everyone laughing and having a great time and in that moment she forgot about all the horrors of her life.
Suddenly Hakim got up and raised his glass

"I just wanted to say something short"

"Daaad...OMG" Yaz covered her face embarrassed giggling

"You grew up so fast pumpkin" he turned to Yaz "It seems like just yesterday you smiled at me from the cot with those big beautiful eyes of yours....and look at you now...what a beautiful woman you turned out to be. For years I was hoping you will find your happiness....and your place in this world And today I can say my wishes have come true" he smiled “Seeing you smile all the time is best gift a father could ever get"

"You're making me soppy..." Yaz said with tears in her eyes

"And Clara...you are the best addition to our family we could ever hope for. You stole my daughter’s heart and made it jump from joy again... you filled her life with love and gave her new hope.

"Now you're making me soppy as well" Clara smiled

"To my daughter and her beautiful wife to be.... may tomorrow be the beginning of a beautiful life for you both.... filled with love, happiness and wonder...Now...let's enjoy"

"Oh god" Yaz wiped her tears

Clara gulped and grabbed Yaz's hand underneath the table. They glanced at each other smiling.

"Come...dance with me" Clara said tugging her hand underneath the table as the soft music started playing and few people got up to dance including Hakim and Nadjia.

"May I have a pleasure?" Graham came up to Yaz's grandmother

"Huh...I haven't danced in a while...decades" she laughed

"It's like riding a bike...It'll all gonna come back to you" he smiled as she got up reluctantly

Clara laced their fingers and led Yaz to the dance floor. She slipped her arms around her waist rocking them slowly with the music.

"You alright?" Yaz asked bringing her hands on a back of her neck

"Mmmm...a bit overwhelmed I must admit...but happy...very happy" she grins

"You look pretty with mascara" Yaz smiled, and Clara made a goofy face making her giggle

When they came back to the table Jack got up "I'm stealing you for another dance" he grabbed Clara's hand swinging her around. She looked at Yaz laughing as he pulled her away

"You couldn't wait for this body so you can do this...admit it" she giggled as he slipped his arm around  her waist and took her hand

"Best one so far" he laughed and swung her across the dance floor "So...how do we feel Doctor? Nervous?" he smiled

"Little...it's silly really Jack...at my age...not like I'm doing this for the first time"

"You are like this"

"Mmmm...true..." she smiled as he turned her around and pulled her back

"But Somehow you just can't seemed to get married without someone trying to kill you in a same time...you haven't got that one quite right yet" he giggled

"Hey...It wouldn't be me Jack" she grinned

"Good dancer as well in this regeneration"

"Oi...I was always a good dancer" she complained

It was late when they left the restaurant and returned to their room. Yaz flopped on the bed exhausted from all the dancing.

"I'm dead" she sighed watching Clara unclipping her braces and unbuttoning her shirt.

"Oh that was so much fun Yaz...You really surprised me with Graham and Ryan...how did you even"

"I maybe took you phone and it just maybe opened up to Graham's number...Purely accidently" she giggled

"Reeeally?" Clara raised her eyebrow "It must have a mind of its own Yaz" she grabbed her legs which dangled from the side of the bed and pulled her across

"Aaaaa" Yaz giggled

"You been snooping around my phone as well Yaz?"

"Maybe" she giggled like crazy as Clara started tickling her

"Stooop!!"

"It's a form of confession Yaz...see all I have to do is tickle you and spill out everything"
"Maybe I should do the same to you" she gigle....aaaa stop"

"So what else have you been touching"

"Nothing...nothing"

"Oh, yes you have...you think you can swingle me around do ya?"

"Yeeees" she screamed trying to defend herself with no success as Clara sat on her and grabbed both her hands panning them to the bed

"Oh, cheeky as well are we?"

"Stoooop....I'll piss myself"

"If you do we'll have to sleep on a sofa" she giggled

"Then stooop" she wiggled "I give up...I give up...I snoop around all the time there..."

Clara laughed like crazy shaking her head in disbelief and finally let her go. She wondered if her previous self did this for years without her knowledge.

Yaz laughed trying to ketch her breath and Clara wiggled her fingers in the air with a grin making her scream again

"Please no mooooore!" Yaz giggled "I have to pee"

"Nope" Clara laughed

"Your crazy...let me go"

"Nope" she nodded "Not until you promise you stop sniffling around my stuff"

"I promise...I have to pee let me go"

Clara laughed and got up slumping on a bed lau
as Yaz jumped off and to the toilet.

"You're crazy" she laughed running into the bathroom lifting her dress in rush making Clara laugh even more

"Why can't you just ask me?" Clara said lying on her back looking at the shadows of the branches from the garden reflecting on the ceiling

"Because..." Yaz said coming out of the bathroom "You never talk to me..." she said lifting her dress and straddling her "You're keeping everything a secret"

"No I'm not...just this...It's not even a secret...Not anymore...I share stuff...like today I told you everything" she said wrapping her arms around her hips "I'm just keeping you safe Yaz"

"Noo...less I know more lightly I'll get hurt...cause I don't understand what the fuck is going on...You should trust me more"

"I do trust you Yaz...I trust you more than anyone in this world...or universe..." she tugged her hand pulling her onto herself and ran her hands down her back "I also love you more than anything in this universe. Just wanna protect you Yaz"

"And what if you need protection?" Yaz said placing a small kiss to her chin "Who's gonna do that...ha?"

"My butterfly?" she giggled turning them on a side

"Exactly...your butterfly can be a hornet very easily when it comes to anyone trying to hurt you"

"Oh I know" Clara chuckled "Pretty nasty one as well...And with that dirty mouth of yours combined I wouldn't like to be on a receiving end of it either...Been ones and it's enaugh for this regeneration thank you very much"

"What else are you not saying? There's something still there...I can see it in you"

Clara wached her in silence moving little curls from her forehead. Her eyes wondering around her face as the light from the garden shined on her in a dark. "There is...." she said quietly

"What baby? I see how you look at me sometimes like I will disappear. There's this fear in your eyes I can't explain"

Clara ran her finger over her lips gently "I'm scared Yaz"

"Scared of what baby?"

"Losing you"

"Losing me if you tell me?"

Clara went silent and ran her fingertips over her face "Like this...you'd just vanish on me"

"Don't be silly baby...I'd never leave you"

"Mmmmm" she hummed in response

"Clara...baby...I don't know what else is that you're keeping back....But it's eating you up inside. It'd changed you since we've met" she ran her fingers over her face "I want you back...I don't care what you did..."

"You will"

"No I won't...Hey...listen" she cupped her face gently lifting her gaze "We all make mistakes Clara, we're not perfect. I was horrible to my parents at one point and they forgave me. It's what we do...we fuck it up and make it better...it's life darling...As long as I know...and I do know you love me...It's the most important thing in a world"

Clara's eyes were aimlessly wondering around her face and tears rolled from her eyes over her nose dropping to the pillow

"Don't cry baby not today..." Yaz said palming her face "I'd never leave you...I tell you what...you can wait until tomorrow...then you're sure I'm staying" she giggled

"It's not that I don't want to Yaz tell you...because I do...but can we just wait until after the wedding?"

"Iff you promise me you'd tell me" she wrapped her fingers around her face "And I promise whatever the fuck it is I won't leave you...."

"I promise Yaz..." she said quietly

"Is that the reason you haven't told me till now? Cause you're afraid I'll flip my lid and leave you?"

"Mmmm" she nodded without words

"Oh Claaaaraaa....I stay by what I said before...as brilliant as you are you can be seriously stupid at times"

Clara chuckled through tears

"Bloody hell Clara...You really know how to torture yourself don't you....C'mere" she wrapped her fingers around her face and pressed their lips together "I love you silly..."

"I love you too...I really do"

"You must if you're doing this not to lose me you silly old hag"

"Old hag Yaz?" she jumped

"Yeah" Yaz giggled "Aaaaaa she laughed...I should say it more often....old hag" she laughed "Aaaaa not again!" she giggled as Clara started tickling her again

....

The night was bright with millions stars in the sky. The light summer breeze hit Clara's skin as she sat on the terrace hugging her knees looking at the stars. They seemed so far from down here, so small and magical. Like glitter sprinkled across the sky.
She felt unusually light, her mind felt calm as thousands of voices in her mind fell silent for the first time in decades. The only sound she heard was crickets. She looked towards the open terrace door to their bedroom where Yaz was sound asleep and smiled from the corner of her lips.

"Doctor" a whisper from the bushes made her jump

"Aaaa...Jack!!!" She jumped so hard she almost tipped the chair back "...Stars Jack you trying startle me to death...What are you doing here?" She whispered

"Can't sleep...wanna go for a walk?"

"Yeah...let me just get my phone in case Yaz gets up...she'll be worried iff I'm not here"

She sneaked inside and picked up her phone from the side table, then pulled covers over Yaz's bare shoulder before leaving 

"I'm in my pajamas Jack" she looked down at herself

"That's your pajamas?" he looked at the light cotton bottoms and oversized light cotton top reaching practically to her hips and smiled  cheeky

"Shut up Jack" she whispered and pulled his sleeve "Let's go"

"Whaaa?...I didn't say anything"

"Beautiful night" she said as they walked through the gardens "Aaaaa look...fireflies.....Aaarhh...I haven't seen them in ages" she waived her hand and caught one "Look" she opened her palm

"That's beautiful..." he smiled looking at her as she looked down to her palm.

She seemed as happy as child and yet there was so much sorrow inside her. Now more than ever she seemed so fragile to him.

"I spoke with Yaz" she said still looking at the firefly

"You told her"

"No...Well, when I say spoke with her it was her who did most of the talking I did most of the crying....What is it with this regeneration...Why do I cry all the time?" she looked up scrunching her face "I swear is the female hormones"

Jack laughed shaking his head

"Anyway" she let the firefly go and continued walking "Promised I'd tell her everything after the wedding....She promised no matter what it is she'd never leave me...I can't help but feel like she  just agreed to sign a contract with a devil"

"Are you the Devil in this picture?"

"Maybe....Although Devil is just figurative visualization of all our fears and insecurities, our darkest thoughts and deep corners of our minds...Not really how I would describe myself"

"So are you?...Going to tell her?"

"I made a promise Jack...Can't go over it now..."she turned to him with a sour smile "I can't help not to panic...I'm really scared Jack"

"I know...you're petrified...I get that...Anyone would be...But I think it's time to talk to her"

"I know...I wanted to...loads of times....and the words just got stuck in my throat each time" she sighed and swallowed deep "Why is this so hard for me?"

"You wanna know the truth?"

She turned around and looked at him with desperation "Always"

"I don't think you blame yourself for what you did...I think you blame yourself for what you think you didn't do...And I don't think you're scared she won't forgive you...Because you damn well know she will...You just can't forgive yourself for what happened to her"

Clara stopped and turned twards him "No...no I can't Jack..."

"Listen" he reached for her hands and held them gently "You're getting married tomorrow...Well today..." he giggled "You got a second chance Doctor...let it go...You will work this out...And together we will resolve this mess...How many people get a second chance Doctor? How many would give anything to have it"

She looked at the pain in his eyes as he spoke "Ianto?" she asked quietly

He nodded and cupped her face "Just live Doctor...and love...and enjoy in every moment because you get to have it...and screw everything else in the middle"

She laughed and palmed his hand "When did you become so smart?" she giggled

"C'mere you old girl" he pulled her for a hug and she melted into it "You're shivering"

"I'm cold...it's a bit windy out here"

"And you were obviously a man for far too long as well" he takes his jacket off and drapes it over her shoulders

"What about her family Jack?...It's all a mess...god what have done"

"Step by step Doctor...You're smart...I'm sure it's all gonna be fine...The most important thing is that she's healing"

"I'm not gonna argue with that one..."

....

She came back to their room and slowly closed the terrace door then pulled the curtains across. Yaz was still sound asleep when she slipped underneath the covers huddling against her to warm up"

"Fuck baby...have you been in a fridge?" Yaz mumbled pulling her in

"Soooorrry...didn't mean to wake you up...went for a walk with Jack"

"Jesus...you immortals are seriously crazy people....C'mere...you're freezing baby"

"And you're so nice and warm...and soft" she hummed nuzzling her neck squishing herself against her

"And you're seriously mushy...I swear it's your hormones" she giggled as Clara wrapped herself around her like a koala

"Nope...three more months to that"

"I hate you for that...why you get to have it every few months and I need to deal with that every 28 days. So not fair . ....Aaaaa....cold hands..." she giggled as Clara slipped her hand inside her pajama bottoms "You're making my ass cold"

"It's squidgy"

"Oh god" she giggled 

....

Yaz woke up again before Clara. And she knew very well that she was anxious because her early awakening was simply physically impossible. Sometimes she wondered if she would just sleep for days if she didn't have to get up. But she was as awake as she could possibly be and refused to move as Clara was pressed firmly against her back with her arm draped over her and shoved inside her pajamas palming her tummy. Which Yaz found both funny and endearing at the same time. As the weeks turned into days and the days into hours before the wedding, she felt more and more nervous and excited. She wondered if Clara felt the same, but she just didn't talk about it. She kept thinking about how she met her only eight months ago and how her life had turned upside down since. But despite all the challenges she still loved this upside down, like she had since the first day she saw the tiny blonde standing in the rain. She decided eight months ago in some random pub on her way to Oxford with a total stranger that she would let this river take her wherever it was meant to flow. And there she was eight months later, hours away from marrying an alien with a time ship. Not quite where she thought the river would flow, not quite where even in her wildest dreams she imagined it could flow. But it was all strangely normal to her, and she found herself wondering if her crush on Clara was so blinding that she accepted the craziest things in the most normal way. She didn't care because Clara made her feel alive. And feeling alive felt like a privilege for so many years, like some unachievable goal she had set for herself. But Clara always felt like home to her, she always felt like her safest place, the one she was lost without and whatever Clara was keeping inside her wasn't scaring her because being without her is always more scary.

"Hey butterfly" Clara murmured into her neck

"Hey baby"

"Why are you awake?...It smells like dawn" she moves her hand up between Yaz's breast and pulled her closer

"It is ..it's five...I can't sleep" she turned around

"C'mere" Clara opened her arm letting her snuggle in "You alright darling?"

"Mmmm...just exited, that's all....nervous...little bit I guess"

"Me too..."

"What are you nervous about...tell me"

"Dunno...it's silly...Just standing there in front of everyone...I'm pretty socially awkward when it comes to those things" she laughed

"Me too...Love ya"

Clara smiled and kissed her forehead "Love you too..." she said slipping her hand around her "Let's sleep more...It's early and we have a big day today

"Mmmm...I now feel sleepy again" Yaz mumbled

"See...my magic cuddle" Clara smiled and squeezed her in her arms

....

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