It was early Thursday morning and instead of work Clara was meeting Nadjia. Her wedding garment was ready and they went together to try it on one last time before the wedding. She was excited but also extremely anxious and going with Nadjia was a huge help. Her feelings for Najia grew over time and now she truly considered Yaz's family as her own, mostly because they accepted her in such a warm way. She also never knew what it was like to have a mother and this was the closest she would ever get to that. She was also painfully aware that all those people she loved so much would eventually leave her life and one day she would be alone again, a thought she didn't really want to have in her head. But her brain never asked for permission, so she pushed it away like so many other things and as she drove she tried to concentrate on how in a very short time she would actually take the woman she loved more than anything in this world as her wife and that was the most important thing . She turned the car in front of the building and saw that Najia was already waiting for her, so she beeped and waved cheerfully.

"Hey hun" Najia said as she sat next to her then leaned over and kissed her cheek "Oh bless...you look nervous darling" she stroke her cheek

"I am...I really don't know why" she said as she pulled back into the road "I have a hole in my stomach...it's really weird...cause I know everything is there and there's no hole there"

Nadja started laughing at her silly explanation. Same as everyone else by now, she too got used to Clara's silly talk and she found it quite cute.

"It's ok...it's normal...I'm gonna tell you a secret"

Clara turned for a second and smiled

"When I was marring Hakim and I had to go and try out my wedding dress I though up just before we came to the store...I never told anyone"

"Really? Well that made me feel better....hope I don't get sick Nadjia...cause that would be really embarrassing...Oh oh...Yaz loved those bangles...thank you for that"

"Why are you thanking me for treating my daughter like a queen?" she laughed

"I love treating her like a queen...she is my queen" she smiled at Najia

"I think you're hers as well darling" she smiled "Turn left here and then right and I think you can park there. It's early we should find space"

"Alright"

They parked the car just around the corner from the store and each step Clara took she started feeling more and more nervous. And as if Nadija felt it, she hooked her arm underneath hers and looked at her softly "It's going to be perfect you'll see"

"Hello" Clara said happily as they walked in and the lady smiled to her

"Hello madam....oh you will love it...absolutely love it" she went at the back and brought the blue garment. It was wrapped up in nylon and even though it, it looked gorgeous. As the lady leyed it on the counter and removed the cover Clara ran her hand over the embroidery of the Gallifreyan she had custom ordered to be added at the very bottom. She felt losing her breath and it was Nadjia's hand stroking her back that jolted her into reality 

"It's stunning Clara" she said gently "Wanna try it on?"

Clara just nodded, her emotions were taking over her so much she felt if she opened her mouth only a whimper would come out. But Najia grabbed the garment of the counter and then pulled her towards the changing room

"Come hun...let's see you in it....Isn't this existing?"

Clara again just nodded as she went into the changing room. She stood inside looking at herself in a mirror, white trousers and royal blue shalwar kameez embroidered with gold. She felt her hearts jumping inside her chest.

"Can I have a look?" Najia asked and when Clara came out her bottom lip was going, she couldn't keep it steady anymore no matter how much she tried  "Goodness....you look stunning...absolutely stunning"

Tears rolled down Clara's cheek and she smiled nodding "It's brilliant isn't it?"

"Oh darling" Najia pulled her in "I hope those are happy tears because you look absolutely gorgeous"

"Mmmm" Clara mumbled and buried her face in her shoulder. She couldn't stop crying and felt embarrassed. Her cheeks flushed and tips of her ears went red

"It's ok to cry hun...I'd be worried iff you didn't" she looked at her crying herself

"I can't wait" Clara said

"Me neither..." she smiled and wiped her tear "Let me call her...she's burning up"

"Oh but don't tell her what it looks like" Clara said

"No I won't"

"Mum...teeeeelll meeeee!" Yaz said exited on the other end

"Oh Yaz you both look like a dream darling"

"Is she happy? Is she?"

"She's crying...it's good I came with her" Nadjia smiles at Clara as she's talking to Yaz

"OMG my poor love...pass her on...love you mum thank you for this you're the best"

"Hey love...I proper embarrassed myself here for the rest of my regeneration...I look a right dork in front of you mum"

Yaz giggled on the other end "No you don't silly...I hear you look like a dream" she smiled

"Mmmmm...I'm sure you look much prettier Yaz"

"Stop that silly...I love you so much...God I would give anything to see you now"

"Now you know how I felt" she laughed

"I know it's brutal isn't it...but it's gonna be worth it....I adore you"

"I adore you too...I need to go now and take your mum for lunch she well earned one"

"Alright baby....have a nice time. See you at home"

Clara ended up taking Najia out for a nice meal at a restaurant Najia had chosen. It was one of those that the locals well knew for its excellent food. She smiled watching Clara clean the plate.

"You liked that I can see?" she giggled

"Oh that was amazing....I have to remember this place" she smiled and took a sip of juice

"I wanted to talk to you about something Clara"

"It sounds very serious"

"It is yes...I spoke to Hakim,  and I don't know how to say this without offending you, but since you have no family we both feel that we should step in as one"

"You're gonna make me soppy again Najia" she smiled

"Listen Clara...we don't have much and it's not a lot but we decided we will give you two a honeymoon trip"

Clara almost spat her drink "You whaaa? Noo Najia absolutely not"..

"Aaaaa...shut up Clara..."

"Woow" Clara did, she was literally left speechless razing her eyebrows shocked.

"Good.. let me speak"

"Alright"..

"That's what parents are for you know. It's a custom Clara. And you have no parents. Well you have us now so...There you go, it's something that we feel it's our duty as parents to do, you take care of your children. It's what family is for"

Clara jumped and ran around the table hugging her so tightly Najia couldn't breathe "It's alright love...we know you can afford it.... We just want to make you happy that's all. And you're literally strangling me"

"Oh, sorry" she wiped her tear "I can't remember when was a last time I cried so much, this is so embarrassing"

"They are happy tears dear, it's nice....Now...they have fantastic cakes here" she smirked "You can treat me with those"

"Yeah I'm up for some sugar after all of this. My brains need rebooting" she laughed
After dropping Nadjia home Clara was feeling so overwhelmed that she decided to take a short detour to the local park on her way to pick up Yaz from work. She still had a little time and felt she had to work through her anxiety. She was not anxious about the wedding, but because of the amount of secrets she still carried with her, which were suffocating her by this point. She couldn't escape the sickening notion that one day when it all comes out she will be left alone. That everything she is building now will crush around her like a deck of cards. She felt like she was betraying those who loved her and how she wasn't worthy of their love. She sat on a bench and picked up her phone

"Hi Graham"

"Doc? Is everything ok?"

"No...it's not"

"What's wrong Doc? You sound upset? Is Yaz ok?"
"She's fine...Graham I...you know you said about the family? Why do you care" she swallowed hard "About me?"

"Oh Doc..." he sighed deeply "I can only speak for myself...but it was all the free holidays...and a food wasn't bad either. Free accommodation always a plus as well...all inclusive package"

Clara chuckled through tears "Thanks mate"

"Doc...Ever since I've met you it was about who you need to save starting with that poor sod on a train. That's all you ever think about...you never actually stop and think about yourself...It counts for something"

Clara whimpered into a phone, tears running down her face.

"Stop feeling guilty about being loved Doc...But that's not why you're asking is it...Regarding that...She isn't going anywhere Iff that's what you're afraid of"
"I'm so scared Graham"

"Don't be...That girl will never leave you unless you asked her to. It will all sit in It's place. I also think it's the wedding, it gets like this Doc. I haven't slept for month before mine"

"Really?"

"Yeah...makes you all of a sudden think what's so special about me that this wonderful person chose me out of all the people. The  you start questioning are you worthy of them...been there Doc believe me"

Clara sighed and wiped her face with a little smile escaping her lips "Thank you for speaking to me Graham"

"Always Doc...I'm glad you called me"

"I need to go and pick her up from work now...have a nice day Graham"

"You too Doc...see you soon"

She hang up and looked sideways to her left. There was a squirrel on the ground next to her and it made her smile. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a bag nuts and seeds, one of those healthy foods choice from Sainsbury that Yaz keeps eating and then she just shoves half open bag into her pocket to join all the other stuff she had in there. Not a minute later the little animal was eating out of her hand.

"You're cute...I got your mates in my garden...You may know each other...Or maybe not...Oh...you may be related it's only down the road...I'm gonna leave this here for you cause I need to go now and pick up my wife"

She left the food on the bench and started heading towards the car.

She felt better after talking to Graham, and what was even more important at this point was that she was starting to get a real sense of what family really meant and the support system it provided, something she had so chronically lacked in her life. Even though she knew that in her long life all of this is only a moment in time, it was her moment that she wanted to grab with both hands while it was there for her to have. But still, being loved was something she would have to get used to, and she hoped that eventually she would.

Yaz was finished with her work and was standing on a parking in front the store waiting for Clara. She had a trolley filed with groceries and she was worried frozen stuff won't last for much longer. She was late, which was very unusual for her and just when Yaz wanted to make a call she saw the car.

"Sorry...sorry...my stupid phone died I couldn't call you darling" Clara said as soon as she pulled over running around the car to put all the shopping in the booth. 

"It's alright babe...I knew you will come" she smiled and leaned over the trolley for a kiss "Mmmm...I've missed that all day" she smiled into her lips

"Oh, you and me both Yaz to a point I really  don't care iff anyone saw that kiss" she laughed "I really hate when you're not near me" she pouted her lips like a kid putting bags in the back then flashed her a big smile "Buuut I got you some really yummy cakes" she nodded towards the back seat as she shut the booth

"Nooo...Oh god just when I thought I can't love you any more" Yaz leaned over the seats to grab the bag as soon as they sat in the car, carefully opening it to peak inside "Ohhhhh gooood and the best once as well...god I love you"

Clara smiled and swirled the car around the corner to get onto a main road.

"So, how did your mum day go?" she smiled and brushed her knuckles over Clara's cheek

"Oh Yaz...your parents are making me into a soppy mess"

"What...why? What happened?"

"They want to pay for the honeymoon Yaz"

"I know" she smiled cheeky

"Wait...what?" Clara turned around "Did you just say you knew Yasmin?"

"Yeah" she giggled "Mum told me on phone it's what they want, and I said you will never have it...then she said quat - We'll see about that- " she giggles "And I said I'm not getting into that with you and she's gonna have to talk to you about it"

"You little cheeky bugger" she grabbed her chin squeezing it then laughed shaking her head looking back onto the road "She really made me emotional Yaz, it was so embarrassing. She started talking about me not having  parents and how it's a parents duty" she shakes her head then quickly wipes another tear escaping from her eye involuntary

"Hey baby" Yaz strokes her face gently "It's alright darling"

Clara takes her hand and kissing her knuckles "It's just I never thought those things Yaz...parents...never was in a back of mind really. I just accepted things the way they were"

"I know you were...but you don't have to anymore" she smiled and Clara turned towards her shortly giving a small smile and tapped her nose

"I know lovely ...I get everything with you don't I...the whole package" she pursed her lips holding back the tears

"I got us cinema tickets for Saturday" Yaz smiled

"Really?...Oh, I haven't been to cinema for a long time Yaz"

"Yeah I thought it be fun for a change...Sonya asked if she could go...I couldn't say no I hope you don't min?"

"Mind Yaz? Why would I mind? It be fun" she stroke her leg gently "I love you Yasmin"

"I love you too darling so fucking much"

Yaz laced her fingers with hers. She could see Clara was seriously struggling and it made her heart bleed thinking how people take for granted things Clara never had in her life. She was wondering how many years she spent alone picking up people to travel with her and how much of it was really job and necessity and how much just desperate need for closeness. She also wondered what would happen to Clara one day when she was alone again, although the thought had never crossed her mind before, and now when it did she felt a cramp in her stomach and brought her hand up to caress the back of Clara's neck all the way home not knowing if this move comforted Clara more or her, but feeling her under her fingers definitely helped

It was evening and Yaz was in a kitchen preparing food. Clara told she's got work to do for university but what she was really doing is reading through the files Jack gave her. It made her sick to the stomach going through them but she was putting some pieces of the puzzle together and on the other hand she now had even more questions. There was method to the madness but she couldn't figure out what it was and it was driving her nuts.

"Vertigo, nausea, epilepsy....Experiencing long term memory loss...but you didn't remember anything...aaaaarrrhhh" she threw a pen on a desk rubbed her temples "Maybe if I...Would that work...possibly...never done this before"

"Are you taking to yourselves?" Yaz peaked from the door of her study

Clara locked her screen quickly and smiled "Maybe" she reached her hand "C'mere" she pulled Yaz into her lap and wrapped her arms around her tight "Sorry just stressed a bit"

"What's stressing you out babe?"

"Just this case I'm working on with Kate...don't worry about it" she sighed into Yaz's neck "Dinner done?"

"Soon...I just came for a cuddle" she giggles

"I needed a cuddle" Clara said rubbing her face into her shoulder

"Hey...why don't you stop for today?...It's late and you've been in here for three hours darling. I think your brain might be melting a bit"

"I suppose you right"

"Come on...and no sneaking out of bed either missy" Yaz raised her eyebrow

Clara looked et her guilty "I didn't think you noticed"

"I did notice...you've been doing it every night since we came back from the trip" she squished her face between her palms "It's becoming obsession that case...and you've been only having about three hours of sleep every night"

"I'm so sorry"

"You don't need to say sorry...you need to sleep darling. I'm worried about you"

"I know...alright I promise"

"You better keep your promise..." she smiled kissing her gently and nuzzled her nose over her cheek "Help me with food?"

"Absolutely..."