Early Monday morning Alex was up at 4am and getting ready to meet her sister at the children's hospital. She felt a cramp in her stomach as she never thought her family would have to deal with any of their children being chronically ill. She so desperately wanted to be there for her sister as Anna had always been there for her all her life through the worst and the best times. She was many times her light in the dark and she couldn't help but feel as though she was betraying her in some way. She buttoned her shirt and walked into the kitchen and her heart warmed up seeing Yaz preparing her breakfast at five o'clock in the morning in her pajamas. Alex was under no illusion about the effort it took for Yaz to get up this early, especially with having little to know sleep on Saturday night with the baby. She smiled from the corner of her lips and walked up behind her wrapping her arms around Yaz's waist and kissing her cheek gently.

"You really didn't have to do this you know" she said and ran her palms gently down her sides

"You have to eat, or you get shaky...I can sleep later. Give me your plate darling"

Alex reached for the plate and put it on the kitchen top "Thank youuuuu....it smells lovely"

"Don't have huge expectations" she giggled "You know I'm shit at cooking"

"It's the effort that counts at this point...Besides I'm so hungry I could eat anything right now" she held her plate with anticipation

"Will you be there for a long time?" Yaz asked whiles filling her plate with some scrambled eggs and toast

"Not sure...But I'll call you let you know" she sat at the bar and poured some juice for them both

"Why here darling? How come she's not doing this locally in Yorkshire?"

"Aaaa...the specialist working here is her boyfriend's sister's friend...So he told her to come over to talk about what her options are"

"I don't understand baby"

"There's type one and type two diabetes darling....they are slightly different and today there's a lot more choice in treatment then just taking insulin injection like it used to be a long time ago. Also, she's a child so the option that is most suitable for her will be recommended to her. This is in short...but if you're interested, I can tell you more about it at some point"

"Yeah if you could...it's interesting and I also don't wanna sound dumb if I ever get to speak to Annie about it"

"Alright darling...I have some books on the topic as well I can show you. You can read any of my books in a study Yaz..."

"Really?"

Alex laughed "Yes of course...my study isn't a museum"

"Looks more like some fancy library" Yaz chuckled "You have those fancy books in leather covers"

"Aaaaa...those are special Yaz...I'll show you. Those are actually old fashion medical books I got from antique book fair about ten years ago...They date back to late 1800"

"Waaaw...so I was right...they are fancy.... Did you have to do the autopsy?"

"Everyone has to do the autopsy Yaz...it's basics of anatomy classes"

"Doesn't it gross you out? I think I would throw up...or pass out of both"

Alex laughed "Well it's not pretty Yaz...and it's hardly a highlight of my memories but it is interesting...You really know how to pick a subject for breakfast don't you" she laughed

"Oh...sorry...you know I'm a queen of timing"

Alex just laughed scoffing through her plate. Her job was not something Yaz asked about often but when she did, she'd ask all sorts of questions she knew nobody else would ever answer.

"When I'll be pregnant...will you be my OBGYN?"

"Noooo" Alex razed her eyebrows laughing

"What? Why not?"

"Too personal Yaz...not a good idea...Anything going wrong and I don't trust myself making objective decision...Sorry baby" she scrunched her face

"Oh shit...I thought I'd have my personal doctor"

"I have very good colleagues I absolutely trust with my wife and a baby Yaz...besides I'd rather be on the other end of that bed holding your hand"

"Neahgh" Yaz made a face "Not fair"

"I have to go..." she got up and walked around the bar then kissed her quickly "Go back to bed...leave the dishes"

"Call me..."

"Will do...love ya"

"Love you too"

....

Alex walked inside the hospital and was about to call her sister when she heard Ruby shouting

"Alex!!!!" the little girl shouted when she saw her and ran twards her. Alex's opened her arms letting her throw herself into her arms

"Hey bumblebee...Arrrrhhh I've missed you so much"

"I missed you too" the little girl squeezed her tightly "When are you coming back?" she asked as they pulled apart

"Dunno...But I am getting married in three weeks and I'm counting on you being my flower girl"

"Aye aye captain Willy...Do I get to wear a nice dress?"

"You can wear whatever you like bumblebee"

"Are you marring Yaz?"

"Yeees" she smiled

"I like her"

"So I have your approval?"

"Do I get to stay your favorite?"

"Always" she winks

"Then you do" she smiled

"Hey honey.....You have no idea how happy I am you're here" Annie said

"Where else would I be silly" she hugged her sister tight

Ruby took Alex's hand straight away and walked up to the elevator.

"You don't have engagement ring?" she asked confused playing with her fingers

"No...I don't...but Yaz does"

"Why don't you have one?"

"Well...that's because I asked Yaz to marry me...so I gave her the ring...And if she asked me then she would be giving it to me"

"Why didn't she ask you?"

"Cause I was faster" she grinned

....

"See...it wasn't that bad, and you got a toy" Annie said as they walked outside "Thank god you were here Alex, my brain froze..."

"You're just stressed hun..."

"Wanna grab some breakfast? Ruby  needs to eat something, she wasn't allowed any breakfast she must be starving"

"Sure...I ate at home Yaz made me some food but I need coffee....There's a place not far from here it opens really early"

"Anything will do right now"

"It's gonna be alright" Alex draped her arm over her shoulder "...This isn't gonna be easy but you're gonna get into some routine and slowly get used to this...I know its shit..."

"This did help though...I was absolutely bricking it...But I do feel calmer...and she's so sweet..."

"She's an excellent doctor...and you have her number now so you can call if you have some questions"

They sat down in a small restaurant. Ruby was busy playing a game on a phone and seemed to have forgotten about her appointment as soon as they got out.

"She wants to wear black dress and Doc Martens to your wedding" Annie laughed

"She can wear whatever she wants...I'm really not bothered"

"She's into Wednesday at the moment...It keeps changing"

Alex laughed "Remember when Ollie was into goth?"

"OMG...Remember when we bumped into dad...When he saw him with painted nails and undercut and lost it"

Alex burst out laughing "And my eye liner...And me in that skirt you made me wear"

Annie choked laughing "He must have thought what the fuck did he do wrong to have us kids"

"We had such a blast that night" Alex said

"Your twentieth birthday..." Annie smiled "You were so happy that day"

"I was...it was one of the best days I ever had...Eddie got so plastered and made me drink those fucking Tequila shots I thought I'm gonna die"

"You only had three and you were singing Proud Mary"

"OMFG!!!" Alex buried her face into her hands "That was vile"

"You two did win" Annie laughed

"Because everyone was too pissed to give a shit"

"You gotta sign on your wedding"

"Absolutely noooo way!"

"Oh come oooon..."

"There's no way you're making me do that"

"Mum already got karaoke....too late"

"Whaaa? Nooooo....that was not the plan"

"We added it on...sorry"

"OMG...Yaz will divorce me the same day"

"Neah...Yaz is a firecracker"

"She is...she makes me laugh so much"

"You're really well matched Alex...I know your life was shit and I know some stuff is still there but you are on right track to be really happy"

"I really hope so...you know when sometimes you think...this can't be right...something's gonna fuck this up for me...It can't be so nice"

"It wont...you had enaugh of shit"

"We all have...not just me Annie...Mum had hell on earth with dad ....I didn't make it any easier either when I lost it"

"That wasn't your fault Alex.."

"But still...Eddie with his drink...you with lousy men...My god...only Jamie had it pretty much normal"

"We're such fucked up family" Annie shook her head laughing "But I do love our fucked up family"

"Me too...I wouldn't have it any other way...not us"

....

Yaz was still sleeping when Alex came back home. She herd her walking around the bedroom taking  her clothes off and felt the bed dip as she climbed back in.

"Hey" Yaz said drowsy and opened her arms

Alex snuggled up lazily and tucked her face into her neck "Sleep Yazee...it's still early"

"How did it go?"

"Really well...she's a little more calmer now...I'll tell you everything later...sleep honey it not ever eight o'clock yet"

"Mmmm...Are you staying home?"

"Yeah I took a day off...we are having lunch with Annie later...can you go?"

"Sure...I'll just work later today" she spoke with her eyes closed and kissed the side of Alex's head then closed her arms around her tighter "Night night" she said making Alex chuckle

"Night sweet pea" Alex kissed her neck and fell asleep herself in few minutes

....


Alex picked up her jacket off a hanger in a rush and looked at her watch realizing she's running late. She was excited to finally finish her afternoon shift and was taking Yaz on a date to compensate for the night shift she will be working on Saturday. They didn't have a custom of going on date nights since they started with sleep overs and progressed quickly to living together, but she brought up the subject few days ago and Yaz saw it as a refreshing idea as many evenings came down to them two just crushing on a sofa cuddling and watching television. Although she lived for those moments as there was something she never had in her life, and she could never get enough of them. But there was a theatre show Yaz desperately wanted to see, and she thought it would be a nice surprise for her. The evening was fresh and windy with the clear smell of rain in the air. It came refreshing after a hot week and it was more apparent the autumn was getting closer as nights slowly became colder and days shorter. She saw raindrops rolling down the windscreen and hoped she had umbrella in a booth as she had to park quite a way from the theatre, then called Yaz to tell her she's horribly late.

"Hey darling I'm finally on my way...I'm so so sorry...I had back to back patients and one lady with a very complicated pregnancy......"

"It's fine baby don't worry about it"

"I'm so sorry you had to sit alone....Not very romantic"

"It's fine...I still have my glass slippers on" she giggled "And I'm sure the pumpkin is somewhere around the corner"

"Don't you worry I'm getting there before midnight...I also know where you live"

"I'm leaving nothing to imagination am I?"

"Aaarrrhhh...debatable...I'm still figuring out few things...I'm a slow learner"

"Slow but methodical...I love the combination" she laughed "By the way it's really starting to rain"

"Go inside darling ..."

"Alright....see you soon"

"See ya"

Yaz waited excitedly in the lobby of the theatre and went to get some drinks for both of them.

Alex walked in a few minutes later seeing her by the vending machine clumsily putting the bag between her thighs trying to get the drink out. She rummaged through her bag and suddenly the smell of Alex's perfume surrounding her brought a smile to her face. Le Baiser du Dragon was her favorite and was so unique she could close her eyes and find her in a room full of strangers. She remembered it from their first kiss when her clothes smelled of Alex even when she got home. And how the sheets would smell like her in the morning after going to work.

"Need a Cherry Coke?" Alex sneaked up behind her

"Only if I can have a sexy lady with it" Yaz giggled pressing the button

"Always" Alex kissed her cheek

"What do you want hun?"

"Just water oh and give me M&Ms ..."

"I'm so excited about this. We didn't go to theatre since we've met"

"We really need to do this more often Yaz...We're becoming pensioners" she laughed putting her sweets into her bag

"We do.... couch potatoes" she laughed and reached for her hand. "So tomorrow I'm choosing the rings I have some I found...they have a line" she laughed

"I can't wait to see what you choose"

"Can they be slim? I don't like the thick ones and I'm gonna wear it with my engagement ring"

"Yazee I told you, I will wear whatever you choose....and you need to find what you will wear"

"I need to talk to my nanny....she's molesting mum with the dress" she rolled her eyes

"You can wear a dress...you'd look nice in a dress"

"Noooo...I don't want it babe"

"Alright sweet pea" Alex kissed her knuckles "I think we need to go inside now" she said looking around

"I really like what you found for me...can we have a look at that again?"

"Sure...I have it saved...I think that's really beautiful Yazee and very elegant"

"My Nanny will probably have a fit when she sees it" she laughed "She'll ask me where's my top"

"Just say it didn't arrive" Alex laughed


....

There were only two weeks left until their wedding and everything was already organized. Everything apart from Yaz's outfit that she was still arguing about with her grandmother who really wanted her to wear the dress. She had been on the phone for almost an hour and paced nervously up and down the living room as she desperately tried to convince her grandmother that times had changed. Alex just sat on the sofa with a worried look on her face and looked at Yaz every now and then with a comforting smile. But Yaz just rolled her eyes and walked up to her taking her hand and stood nervously playing with Alex's fingers listening to her grandmother's endless arguments against her choice of clothing

"Alright...look I get that nan...And I completely understand your point and I do respect it. But this is my wedding and please...pleaseeee can you respect my wishes? It makes me happy...besides I'm not gonna parade around in front of anyone, we are legit in her mums garden....Look I'll photo shop the bloody pictures if you want...And who are you kidding...you're not gonna show those around cause I'm not marring a man..."

"I never said I was ashamed of your choice Yasmin...Only that I don't understand it...I also don't understand why would Alex change herself like that...What's wrong with being how you were born?"

"I'm not going into that nanny...pleaseeee...I already explained milion times"

"I like Alex, I think she's a wonderful person Yaz and she makes you happy...I just don't understand this"

"I get it, but can you please drop it and take it for what it is..."

"I'm trying to"

"Thank youuuu...I have to go now...Love you"

"I love you too honey"

She hang up with a deep sigh and stepped infront of Alex stroking her hair

"I'm sorry..." Alex said wrapping her arms around her and kissing her stomach

"Nothing to be sorry for..." Yaz grabbed her shoulders settling herself in her lap "She'll be fine...She just needs time to process everything" Yaz stroke her face gently scooping up her hair and tucking it behind her ears "I'm just tired of having to justify myself...or us...to anyone"

"Don't be upset with her Yazee...she's not being mean...It's just a lot for her to take in and she is trying...She called me the other day I forgot to tell you"

"Whaaa? She didn't say anything...?"

"We had a nice chat as it goes...She was asking me about the menu because she can't eat some stuff...It wasn't anything about this"
"Oh..."

"Chill out...I think you're more stressed than me" she smiled

"I am..." she giggled resting her head on hers

"Don't be...Your family is really nice to me...really nice"

"Mmmmm...." Yaz hummed wrapping herself around her kissing her neck

"We're gonna have such a nice day....I can't wait"

"Me neither...I can't believe we actually managed to pull it off in such a short time"

"I know right...I had my doubts at one point...but we managed...I love youuuuuu"

"Love you too...I hate you working nights" Yaz went mushy rubbing her face into her shoulder and playing with the hair at the back of Alex's neck ticketing her in a process but she didn't say anything as she found her cute when she was super cuddly

"I knoooow...." Alex ran her fingertips over her back soothingly "I hate nights myself....I love my job but I hate night shifts...They're long and mess up my sleep completely"

"I hate sleeping alone" Yaz ran her fingers through her hair longingly dotting small kisses over her face

"I knoooow....I'll give you a huge cuddle in a morning" Alex smiled placing a kiss between her breast "promise"

"You better" she scooped her hair away from her face gazing at her lovingly "God you're beautiful...and don't blush" she smiled as Alex would always go bright red in her face when she said that and kissed her before she could object.

....

Whenever Alex worked the night shift, Yaz would make herself busy working most of the night. It was hard for her to be alone, and she wondered how she would handle the separation if Alex decided to go to Zambia sometime in the spring. She was never good at living alone and it was more of a need after her brake up than a desire. Life with Alex fulfilled her in more ways than one. Being alone again for even a month scared her more than she was willing to admit to herself or anyone else. She wasn't sure if she was ready for it, but at the same time she didn't want to impose emotional restrictions on Alex who was clearly enjoying this part of his job very much. She also couldn't help but worry about Alex's safety there. Zambia was barely on the list of countries she was familiar with, and not knowing about it didn't inspire her much confidence. In her mind, it was one of those places in the world that was socially and politically unstable, and she felt unsettled thinking about it more than anything else. But she saw Alex's eyes go wide and a smile brighten her face each time she spoke about it.

It was almost three in the morning and her eyes were getting heavy, but she always waited for Alex to call her before bed. Her phone finally rang and she picked it up in a second

"Hey sweet pea..." Alex chirped

"Heeeey baby..."Yaz replied with a yawn

"Yazee...why don't you go to bed?...You're falling asleep at your desk"

"I will now...I miss you"

"I miss you too...Three more hours and I'm  home....I had twins today" she said haply "Two boys....so cute"

"Oh did you...How often do you have twins?"

"No so often...I love twins...they hugged when we put them together Yaz I melted"

"Awwwwee....OMG"

"Have you been working all this time?"

"Yeah...just finishing now...My eyes hurt from the computer" she yawned again slumping on a table "I really hate when you're not here"

"I hate not being there...I really miss you...I have those eye drops in a side table next to bed...please put them in your eyes Yazee and go to bed...I will be home soon"

"Mmmmm"

"Yaz...you're literally falling asleep on a phone come on...Night night baby...Love ya"

"Love you too...I'm sorry"

"It's fine....goooo....sleep...bed now...this minute"

"Alright...Can you feel me cuddling you?"

"Oh...is that the nice fuzzy feeling in my tummy?"

"Yeeeeah" she smiled

"That's a big cuddle" she giggled  "Love you loads...bed"

"See ya soon" Yaz hung up the phone with one more yawn

Alex hung up with a sigh and rubbed her face as she was flagging herself. She was crouching down with her back against the hallway wall.

"Hey Alex" one of her colleagues comes up to her "Wanna grab a coffee?"

"Oh hi, I have a lady ready to pop...I have to check her in half an hour"

"Half hour is ok...come on...I'm gonna fall asleep  and you don't look any better either"

"Alright...I am struggling to keep awake" Alex said and got up

"I think it's autumn weather...I'm dragging myself for days now"

"Arrh...and this rain today...it's so depressing" Alex yawned walking to the coffee machine "Is there anyone here who speaks Japanese?"

"Why?" she asked confused

"My patient is Japanese...I can't communicate with her at all"

"I do know a nurse from neonatal...I think she's on call tonight"

"Pleaseeee Janet...I'm drowning here"

"What's a Japanese pregnant lady doing giving birth in Sheffield?" she laughed "Which coffee do you want?"

"Arrrrhhh...milk please no sugar....Apparently she just moved here and found out she's pregnant"

"OMG...poor woman...Here..." she passed Alex her coffee and they both slumped down to the floor not carrying one bit as the hospital was quite at this time at night "Let me call my mate and see"

"I appreciate it" Alex crossed her legs on a floor holding a cup of coffee struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Yap...she's here" she said and hang up "...she's gonna come up in 20 min"

"Arrrrh you're a star...thanks for that"

"So you're new here?"

"Yeah...I moved recently...mid-June actually"

"How come?"

"Just needed a change"

"And how do you like it?"

"Oh I love it...I was a bit lonely in beginning ...but now I'm really happy here"

"Talking about lonely....you never have lunch with anyone? Why are you always alone?" 

"Dunno...I'm quite socially awkward" she smiled

"You're talking to me now?"

"Arrrrhhh...more people make me nervous"

"But you really should join us you know....We're not that scary....Can't be much fun for you...I always see you sitting alone unless that girl comes"

"Oh, that's my Yazee...she's my fiancée"

"Oh is she, that's so sweet she comes to join you for lunch? See I had no idea...Everyone always talks about how shy you are...All I know is that you're from North Yorkshire..." she laughed "But then I guessed that as soon I heard the slang"

"Yeah...kinda gives me away" Alex laughed

"So you have fiancée...that's nice...congrats"

"Thanks....We're getting married in two weeks"

"Oh waaaw...I heard people say she's your girlfriend...didn't know you're getting married though"

"Aha" Alex nodded with a massive smile

"Seriously Alex...You're a grait doctor and so confident in your work...but nothing to be nervous about meeting everyone they're all really nice....Go with me...I'll introduce you to everyone...We just have a laugh and talk shit...you're gonna have fun" she nudged her with a shoulder as Alex looked down to the floor smiling

"Alright...I'll give it a go"

"So your fiancée is also from up North? Did you move here together?"

"Oh noooo she's local...her sister had a baby here and we met down by that vending machine that got broken"

"No waaay? You lucky girl...new job new girl...new life..." she laughed "...So the key is to go and hang around  the vending machine...right..." she laughed "But then most men here are waiting for their wife to have a baby I doubt that's gonna help me" 

They both laughed

"I have to go..." Alex said "I have a date with a Japanese lady" Alex giggled "Thanks for the coffee and a lunch invite...I appreciate it"

"My pleasure...I'm glad I finally spoke to you aside from just work stuff"

"Same here"

Alex smiled down the hall feeling quite proud of herself for making a new friend. The first since she moved, and it made her day. Although having lunch with a bunch of people from work made her nervous and she was already planning how to drag Yaz into it as her emotional support to break the ice. She knew herself well enough to know that she would get out of it at the last minute with some lame excuse if left alone to it.

She came home at half past six completely exhausted. Yaz wasn't on the sofa where she expected to find her, so she left her keys and bag on the counter and gave the cats some food before going into the bedroom. Her heart sank when she found Yaz asleep at the desk in the study and assumed she had fallen asleep after their phone call.

"OMG Yazee" she shook her head in disbelief "Yaz darling wake up baby" she stroke her hair

"Whaaaa...!" Yaz jumped startled

"Yaz...my god, you fell asleep at the desk" she tugged her hand turning the chair "Get up darling"

"Ha...OMG " Yaz looked around sleepy and disoriented "I thought I went to bed"

"Nooo...I think you dreamt it...C'mere sweet pea" she pulled her up "...let's go to bed...come on" she took her hand

"I missed you" Yaz said crawling into bed

"I missed you too...come on...you're cold as ice Yaz..." she pulled the covers over her and kissed her on the forehead, then undressed herself and climbed onto the bed spooning behind her

"Mmmmm" Yaz mumbled sleepy lacing their fingers at her chest

"Much better than a desk, ha?" Alex chuckled and kissed her shoulder

"Yeeeeah...much much better" Yaz smiled kissing her knuckles and kept her hand pressed to her lips falling asleep quickly

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